Gabriel lands on his knees and takes hold of either side of my head.
‘Get the fuck off-’
‘Stop talking!’ he says sternly.
I go to speak. No words come out. Not a single sound passes my lips.
He lifts his head and shows me the pitch black of his eyes as he wields his Mental magic. He takes a shaky breath as he struggles to summon enough power to control me.
‘Lilly. Raise your hands,’ he instructs.
Without any command from me, my bound hands raise above my head. I look up at them. My foreign limbs, taken over by his words. I lower my glance back to him.
‘Put them back down.’
I do. And I swallow hard. I know he can control me, but I have no idea how much.
He shuffles closer. There are beads of sweat starting to appear on his brow as I try to fight his power.
‘Lilly, count to ten for me.’
‘O-one… Two… T-three…’ I carry on. Each number I speak feels as if it’s being pulled from my throat by an invisible thread. I grind my teeth together, hoping to bar them from escaping my mouth. But they carry on.
When I reach ten, he leans in a little closer. I back up and sink into the wall with wide eyes.
‘Lilly…’
‘Stop. Gabriel… you can’t bring her back. She’s not here-’
‘Tell me a secret. Something embarrassing that no one else knows.’
He waits as I start gagging on the words he is drawing out of me. I seal my lips together and close my eyes, hoping to sever his hold on me.
‘Tell me, Lilly!’
‘I-I’ve been masturbating to memories of us having sex!’ I blurt before slamming my hands over my mouth.
His eyes return blue and he gives a soft chuckle.
‘I’m honoured,’ he smirks. ‘That’s an image I will truly treasure.’
He holds out his arm. The one I regrew after Toby hacked it off at the museum.
‘After you mended me, my powers just kept growing. And now, as more of our people die at the hands of Hunters, everyone with magic has grown in strength just as Rebecca warned. Just as Theo wants, he intends to kill as many Descendants as possible so he can wield enough power to return his dead mistress, remember?’
‘Of course I remember,’ I hiss. ‘But I’m the Arcane! I’m more powerful than you-’ His eyes blacken once more. ‘Don’t you dare!’
‘Tell me how you feel about me.’
‘I fucking hate you. Down to my core. And I lo-’ I slam my hands over my lips and catch the words, so all he hears is a mumble.
‘Lower your hands and repeat what you just said,’ he orders.
I do.
‘I said,’ I say through gritted teeth. ‘I love you.’
‘You love me?’
‘I don’t feel it. But I know it.’
‘What does that mean?’
I look hard into his eyes, loathing how he’s taken my innermost thoughts for his own. ‘This body loves you. It desires you. It feels safe around you. When I smell you, I tingle. Okay? But I just don’t feel it. I simply know it. But that won’t stop me tearing your head off when I get free.’
He shifts, planting his hands on the floor beside my legs and leaning in closer.
‘Kiss me.’
‘Don’t you dare, Gabriel,’ I warn viciously, despite how my body slowly moves in to meet him. ‘Have I not earned the right not to be forced to touch a man when I don’t want to?’
‘She doesn’t like it when you kiss me. It was her that slapped you. So. Kiss me! I want to draw her out again.’
I’m leaning in. Gabriel’s leaning in too. Neither of us closes our eyes. Our noses touch, and then, my lips brush against his. Barely at all at first. He doesn’t take any action.
‘Kiss me like you mean it. Kiss me with all you got.’
I kiss him hard. It’s as if my body has been starving for him. My hands grip his black t-shirt and I pull him in closer. I’m moving. My legs are positioning themselves around his waist until I’m straddling him. His hands rest on my lower back as he pulls me in. My hips rock back and forth as our tongues caress. I’m breathless with want and so is he. I feel his passion and desire for me between my legs, and I’m just as lustful as he is. My body has a mind of its own. I want him. No… I need him! Now.
He kisses me harder before lifting me and laying me on my back, positioning himself between my legs which are firmly wrapped around him.
‘C’mon, Beautiful,’ he moans between kisses. ‘Take control. Kiss me back.’
‘You’ll just have to make do with me,’ I growl, nipping his lower lip and sliding off his belt. ‘She’ll never forgive you for fucking me.’ I take him in my hand and love the sharp intake of breath he gives at my touch. ‘And as I said, you can do all the dirty things you like to me. I won’t ever tell you to stop.’ His mouth works my neck. Hungry and passionate kisses trail from my ear to my collarbone, and everything inside me screams for more. As I hoist up the hem of my skirt, he pulls away, shaking his head and grunting angrily.
I laugh.
‘I knew you wouldn’t go through with it. You’re just talk. A pathetic coward. Unlike me, you’re not willing to get dirty to get what you want. Fucking me might bring her back. But in your eyes, it’s cheating on your sweet Lilly. And you vowed never to break her heart like that again.’
He surveys me for a while with narrowing eyes and the vein in his neck protruding.
‘You’re right. I won’t have sex with you because you’re not her. Not really. Just a soulless creature wearing her skin. But Toby was like you too. And my girl brought my brother back. When I told you I was going to get you back by doing what I do best, I didn’t mean fucking, Lilly. I thought I would give the kissing a try.’ He sits up and tucks himself back into his trousers, zipping up his fly and sweeping his hair from his eyes. ‘But that was a long shot. So, let’s go back to what I’m really good at.’
‘What do you mean?’
His eyes blacken.
‘I meant that I’d simply order you to do as I wish. Just as you did with Toby, I’ll order you to reverse the Break.’
‘No, you fucking won’t!’ I hit out at him with my bound hands, hoping that the metal cuffs may cause some pain. Enough for him to lose focus and allow me to escape his hold. He snatches my hands and holds them fast while using his body weight to keep me on the floor beneath him, pinned between his legs.
‘I can control your actions,’ he says as I continue to scream and thrash. ‘I can control your words. I’ve been practising for weeks. It’s harder with you than any other I’ve tried it on, but I managed to keep control over you despite your incredible strength-’
‘LET GO OF ME!’
‘I made you speak truths you would never have spoken! I made you feel! You meant that kiss. Which is impossible because a Broken Witch does not feel!’ He releases a short and wicked laugh. ‘But my Lilly feels, and she is just beneath the surface.’
‘I WILL KILL YOU!’
‘QUIET!’ he bellows at me. ‘LIE STILL!’
I fall silent and motionless, panting hard and shaking with anger.
He takes a deep and readying breath as he leers over me. His eyes as dark as I’ve ever seen. He stops with his face directly over mine.
‘I saw how you did it to Toby. How you reversed his Break. When you showed me your memories on the battlefield, you let me see what you did. I’m just as strong as you are with Mental magic. I can do it.’
I shake my head.
He nods his. ‘My dear Lilly. Listen to me now. Listen.’
My heart hammers wildly under my chest because I know that there is a real possibility he could pull this off. I look away. Perhaps if I don’t see his eyes, he won’t hold so much power. He snatches my chin with one hand and forces me to look up at him. His other hand still rests on my heart.
‘Turn it on, Lilly Kendryk,’ he orders. ‘Turn on your feelings.’ He leans in closer, and once more, I see a layer of sweat beading on his brow. ‘Let it all in. Remove your Break. Fix it.’
A low and violent roar ripples out from my throat.
‘Seal it closed!’ he commands.
‘Nnnnnnooooooo!’ I force myself to say, fighting against his strength of mind.
‘YES!’ he shouts back. ‘LET IN YOUR FEAR!’
‘NNNNOOOOOO!’ It’s like gasping for air when there is none to draw in! Like the words are too big to fit in my mouth.
‘LET IN YOUR PAIN!’
I scream hatefully in his face and feel my head start to throb as I fight him.
‘FEEL THE LOSS OF AMARA! REMEMBER HOW MUCH YOU LOVED HER!’
‘STOP!’ I screech as my brain starts to feel like it’s tearing. ‘GABRIEL, STOP!’
He rests his mouth against my ear. ‘Let in the humanity you have shunned. You let it in right now!’
I fight, with everything I have, and it hurts. It hurts more than anything. He forces more power and more will into his words. I feel it pouring from him and attacking me.
He lifts his head as I writhe and bellow under him. Blood drips from his nose and lands on my cheek.
‘I will kill you! I WILL KILL YOU!’ I promise.
‘You will return to the loving girl you were. You will become the strong-willed and good person you were! REVERSE THE BREAK!’
Blood now trails down my cheek, oozing from my nose as I refuse to bend to his will. He struggles to keep me safely held down as I fight and buck. He manoeuvres around my bump, careful not to put any of his weight on it or to let me roll over onto my belly. My livid screams echo off the walls.
Then, in the corner of the room, flickering into existence… her. Pale and tired. Almost corpse-like. Her arms dangle by her side as she stares blankly at the floor. Her red hair falls over her shoulders, and her emerald green eyes glisten in the dim light.
Gabriel’s eyes widen as he looks at the ends of my hair.
‘It’s working!’ he gasps, watching as the ashen strands start to turn red. ‘Lilly, can you hear me? Talk to me. Show me your beautiful green eyes, baby-’
His eyes turn from black to a blinding white and just as they do, my vision goes just as white and I can’t see anything. If a colour could be hot, this would be it. Heat. Heat that blinds me and stabs at my brain.
Whatever this is, whatever Gabriel has done or caused to happen between us, it’s even taken him by surprise. Despite his Mental powers digging in deep, his body has stilled. I reach out and feel blindly for him. When I touch his shoulders, he’s shaking. Almost vibrating! I hear him gasping for a long and single breath as he digs in deeper. So deep.
Too deep.
I slam my head into his nose with every ounce of strength I own before raising my knee and thrusting it right between his legs. As he slides off me, I finish removing his belt, and in a swift move, I wrap it around his neck. I pull as hard as I can until he’s gasping and clawing at the leather. I lock the buckle into the hole and as he writhes on the floor, his eyes bulging and his lips going blue as he tries desperately to release the buckle of the belt cutting into his throat, I just attack. My fists hammer down on him over and over. I don’t care that the chains around my wrists dig in deep to my flesh, nor that he’s flailing wildly before me.
‘SHE MAY LOVE YOU, BUT I FUCKING HATE YOU!’ I screech. ‘I HATE THAT YOU SLEPT WITH AVA. I HATE THAT YOU’RE A KENDRYK. I HATE THAT YOU DARE CONTROL ME. I FUCKING HATE HOW WEAK YOU MAKE ME. HOW YOU MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY FOR WREAKING THE REVENGE THAT I DESERVE!’ I look up at the husk of the girl I once was. ‘AND I FUCKING HATE YOU!’ I scream at her.
With a mighty crash, the door atop the stairs hurtles open and in runs Jensen. His appearance doesn’t stop me. I continue raining down hit after hit as Gabriel gasps and wheezes on the floor, clawing at his neck so desperately, he’s created deep gouges with his nails. I’m grabbed and pulled off him as I laugh furiously. Jensen pulls Gabriel from my reach and removes the belt I’ve secured around his neck. As soon as he’s free, Gabriel springs to his feet looking rabid. He takes a purposeful and menacing leap towards me.
‘You don’t touch her, Gabriel!’ Jensen demands, stepping between us with his arms outstretched. ‘Check your anger at the door before you even think about coming near my daughter.’
‘Aww. Daddy. You are just so adorable, I could eat you up!’ With a shrill scream, I lunge at him and sink my teeth into his neck. Blood spills into my mouth, and as Gabriel pulls me off him, I spit a lump of torn flesh at Jensen’s feet. There’s blood in my teeth and dribbling down my chin as I try to break free from Gabriel’s grasp.
‘I WILL KILL YOU ALL!’ I holler as I pull and tug away from them. ‘DO YOU HEAR ME? I WILL SLAUGHTER EVERY SINGLE FUCKING ONE OF YOU FOR LOCKING ME UP LIKE THIS!’ I kick out, and Gabriel struggles to keep me from falling to the ground as I thrash and scream in his arms. ‘I WILL MAKE YOU SUFFER. I WILL MAKE YOU BLEED! I WILL-’
Gabriel slams a hand over my mouth to silence me, and with hatred in his demon eyes, he says, ‘You will go the fuck to sleep! That is all you will do!’
His voice is raspy and cracked. He pants with anger and pain, but those words take hold nonetheless.
Sleep claims me once more.
∞∞∞
I have to admit, slapping my Broken-self was remarkably therapeutic. I make a mental note to save another one for Gabriel. After god knows how many hours of walking this endless corridor with nothing but mould and mildew for company, imagine my surprise when I turn the corner to see the pair of them. Together! Her, straddling MY husband and his hands exploring her body.
Last I saw of them, he was about to shoot her. Me. Us.
God, this is confusing.
I’m curious to know how it went from attempted murder to second base!
But after I struck her, they faded from sight and here I am, yet again. Alone.
As I walk, I think that perhaps I’m imagining things when I see a brown wooden door up ahead. The first one I have seen since I escaped the first-floor bathroom of my uncle’s house. I pick up my pace, worried that it may fade from sight or always remain out of reach no matter how much I run towards it. But I reach the door and stand facing it for several moments, my fingers flexing with doubts as to whether I should open it or not. But I have no real other choices. It’s either the door or the never-ending hallway. I grip the handle and push it open. It’s pitch black. Cautiously, I step inside.
I wish I hadn’t.
‘I can’t let you have a baby, Lilly.’ Toby Smith’s voice echoes around me. ‘I’m sorry. I am. But you can’t.’
‘No… not here. Not this.’
Like oil sliding down the walls, the Miller’s barn oozes into life. Dark and silky ink stretches across the void, painting the picture of this memory in grisly perfection.
Toby Smith stands over me.
Ava Sinclair pins down my feet.
‘No. NO!’ I turn on my heel to get the hell out of here. But the door I came through slams shut. The handle disappears and I hit my palm on the door over and over again. ‘LET ME OUT! LET ME OUT!’
And then, I’m on the floor. Wrists in chains. Tears streaming down my cheeks and begging harder than I have ever begged before for the slightest bit of mercy.
‘Beautiful?’
I look to the barn door and see him standing there, a look of utter shock on his face. His eyes dance around, looking at the old structure before taking in the sight of Tobias and me.
‘What… what the fuck is this place?’
‘G-Gabriel?’ I stutter. ‘What are you doing here?’
As if hooked by something through his back, Gabriel is yanked away from me.
The memory claims me. Just as the memory of Ryan’s first assault did before.
Back in hell.
Trapped.
Alone.
Lost in a sea of pain and misery that will drown me over and over and over again.
