I wake, in much the same position I was when Gabriel compelled me to sleep.
On the floor. Legs outstretched and my back resting against the wall.
The chains remain around my wrists, and the collar still weighs heavy around my neck.
I blink and silently watch them talking heatedly in a hush about what to do with me. Jensen has a thick bandage on his neck, blood seeps through it, but he pays no attention to his wound at all. Not even when a small trickle of red slides down to his shoulder and disappears beneath the collar of his jacket.
Gabriel is waving his arms in my direction and getting in Jensen’s face as he hisses his words at him through a strained and raw throat. Gabriel’s anger seems to amuse Jensen, who rolls his eyes and scoffs at him.
‘What you did was out of line, and you know it,’ Jensen insists with a nonchalant shrug. ‘Forcing her to kiss you is not what we discussed. You’re lucky all she did was wrap that belt around your neck. If I’d have walked in on that, I would have slit your fucking throat.’
‘I acted in reaction to what I saw. I saw Lilly slap herself. I know that-’
‘Yeah. Yeah.’ Jensen dismisses Gabriel’s repetition of the facts with a wave of his hand. ‘I heard you before. But let me be clear. You forcing yourself on my daughter ain’t gonna happen again. She’s been through enough of that shit.’
‘It was a kiss. I would never have taken it any further and you bloody know that!’
As they turn to face me, I close my eyes and continue to feign sleep. I’m not too keen on facing another bout of compulsion. Not with my stomach twisting and turning the way it is and my head hammering like a drum. I feel their eyes on me with a penetrative heat and the tension hangs heavy in the air.
‘So, what now?’ Jensen asks. ‘What will we do when she wakes up? She’s not gonna be very happy with us.’
‘Doesn’t matter. She’s locked up tight. I’ll try again,’ Gabriel replies. ‘I almost had her. I know it. I just need some more time.’
‘Time is something we are swiftly running out of. We have less than twenty-four hours, Gabriel,’ Jensen corrects him. ‘Then, the Blood Moon rises. We have no idea what that means or what the spell will involve or if she’s up to it, given her condition. And need I remind you that she has Connor and Collins hidden somewhere with your sadist little brother.’
‘I’ll get her back,’ Gabriel vows. ‘I’ll get them all back and we’ll get over to The Arcane Realm. We’ll get away from the Hunters. I’ll have my wife and baby. You’ll have your daughter and grandchild. And we won’t spend the rest of our lives on the fucking run or dying in a filthy ditch!’
I keep my face serene and my eyes closed as he steps closer. But he’s wise and maintains a fair distance between us.
‘Perhaps it will be easier while she’s asleep,’ Gabriel wonders aloud.
‘Then give it a go. Try and figure out whatever it was that you saw in her head.’
‘I know exactly what I saw. I’d recognise that fucking barn anywhere.’
‘Just be gentle. Remember, that’s Lilly and her baby in that body.’
‘I am very, very aware of that.’
They continue talking. About their next steps with me. About the many missing members of the Coven. And about the group of Hunters who are searching the town ten miles down the road from this old wine cellar. They are anxious at the Hunter’s proximity but are confident that we are well hidden by both the unusual location they have chosen to hide me in, and the cuff that conceals our magic from their mark.
‘The location of the current Nomad camps remains secure,’ Jensen says. ‘They had all better stay put for now. No need to bring them here. Best not reunite them with their beloved Arcane only for her to kill them all out of spite.’
And then…
‘Any update on Grayson and Hendrix?’ Gabriel asks tiredly and through the strain of his injured voice.
‘Not yet,’ Jensen replies with a low growl. ‘I’ve got my best men out looking for any sign of them but they’ve not heard or found a thing. Meanwhile, you need to ask Lilly about what happened to you boys the other night and if it’s connected to the vision she had about Grayson’s plan. See if what we suspect is true. All of you blacking out like that at the same time. Something was seriously off and the only thing that connects you is that immortality spell.’
‘Doubt she’ll be too forthcoming even if she does know what it was that hit us all.’
‘Well, if what she says about Grayson wanting to turn vamp is true, and if he has done what we think he has done and severed your immortality link, then you are all in deep shit.’
‘Yes, thanks, Jensen. I know that!’ Gabriel snaps as he pulls open the heavy door. It grinds against the thick layer of rust and creaks with the forced movement. ‘In case you hadn’t noticed, we’ve been in nothing but shit for months and still have a ton of it to shift through before we get a glimmer of fucking hope!’
‘I’m just saying. If Grayson has severed that link, then there’s absolutely nothing stopping either Theo or Grayson raging bloody war down on your heads. If it doesn’t matter to them if you die, they will burn everything to the ground to wipe you off this earth and get to my daughter.’
‘My wife and baby, Jensen. And unlike you, I’m not about to disappear and leave my family to a miserable fate. I won’t die. Not if it means leaving her unprotected.’
‘I’m not totally sure it’s her who needs the protection right now. You, my friend, are fucked if Theo or Grayson gets their hands on you.’
‘Bloody ray of sunshine, aren’t you,’ Gabriel mutters. I lift my head and see him watching Jensen leave the room. As Gabriel shuts the door, Jensen stops it from closing.
‘You don’t force her to do anything against her will. You hear me? I’m just out here. Listening.’
‘Got it. As I said, I wasn’t going to-’
Jensen grips the door and slams it shut, cutting Gabriel off and leaving him to growl under his breath.
‘You are lucky Lilly cares about you, or I’d have shot you in the head weeks ago, you self righteous prick,’ he whispers angrily at the sealed door.
‘Likewise,’ Jensen booms back. ‘Get to work.’
When I lift my head and open my eyes, my stomach churns, and the familiar hideous metallic taste swirls around my mouth. Honestly, it’s like I’m licking a battery while riding a rollercoaster. I lean forwards and pull my knees up with a groan. I heave, but nothing comes up. There’s nothing in my stomach. Perhaps the only mercy I have received of late.
‘There’s some food next to you.’ Gabriel gestures to a bowl of fruit he’s placed beside me.
‘Do you remember that you promised me that I would never end up like this again? That I would never be held against my will like an animal? I’m pregnant. I’m cold and uncomfortable. I need to bathe. To brush my teeth. And I also need to pee.’
‘Let her back in, and you can do all those things. It’ll be easier for everyone if you do. In the meantime, there’s a bucket next to you if you need to pee.’
After a cursory glance at the black pail beside me, I decide swiftly that I can hold it a little longer.
‘Amara loved you, you know? She never had any friends or real family, so to her, you were everything. If she were here-’
‘Well. She isn’t here. Is she?’ I jeer back.
‘Do you remember the night you two first really got to talking?’ He looks into the distance and smiles a little. ‘Collins and me, we couldn’t find either of you. We were starting to freak out. If Grayson thought we’d lost you… Christ. Man would have flayed us alive. But I didn’t give a damn about Grayson finding out. I was so worried something had happened to you. That you’d changed your mind and run off. Then we heard this mad giggling down by the lake. We watched you for a while. Both of you, hunched over and stuck in a fit of giggles, pissed out your heads but happier than we’d ever seen. Before Amara fell asleep, she said to Collins, “I made my first friend today”. And then… then she said, “We’re all going to be okay if that’s our Arcane. I just know it”.’
I see it. In that moment. The way he’s watching me. Almost expectantly.
‘So that’s your plan, hmm? To try and get me to undo the Break by making me miss Amara?’ My mocking laugh echoes around the stone room. ‘I’m afraid that you’re all wasting your time. There is nothing here to be saved. No goodness. No mercy.’
‘You saved those people at the auction. Clara, that little girl? That was Billy Songer’s daughter.’
‘Oh. If I’d have known that, I wouldn’t have bothered.’
‘Billy’s wife died trying to stop her from being taken. They gutted her, right in front of Clara, while Billy fought off as many as he could.’
‘If he didn’t die himself to protect his own kid, then he didn’t try hard enough. Am I supposed to be sad about any of this? If you are looking for empathy or goodness, look somewhere else.’
‘I simply don’t believe that. Somewhere, deep inside, you have goodness within you.’
‘Let me tell you something, Gabriel. I don’t care that Amara is dead.’
His eye twitches at my words.
‘Actually, wait. I do care. I do! I’m thankful. I guess that’s kind of caring, right?’ I lean forwards and make sure I look him dead in the eye. ‘The sensation of Amara’s warm, thick blood on these hands destroyed this already fragile little soul.’ I hold up my shackled wrists and wriggle my fingers. I smirk as he starts to get angry. ‘And at that moment, it gave me all the strength I needed to shove Lilly’s humanity down in that pit of misery I’d been sealed away in. So yeah. I’m glad that she’s dead. I’m thrilled!’
I wait. Wait for his anger or his tears. For him to lunge at me or for a torrent of abuse.
He does none of those things. In fact, he sits back, deep in contemplation.
‘What? Got nothing to say?’ I enquire, fidgeting a little under his stare. ‘You just going to sit there?’
With a sinister chuckle, he gets to his feet and leaves, closing the door behind him without a single word.
That was weird.
I give the chains another tug. Just in case they have somehow become loose. Nope. Still stuck firm. So instead, I sit back against the wall and pick at the bowl of fruit left beside me. As I do, I let my mind wander. And it wanders straight to Gabriel.
Gabriel’s the only one who can control me. He may only have Mental magic, but he’s the biggest threat to me right now. Because Gabriel almost succeeded. He almost got her back. And then I would have been forced deep into Lilly Hooper’s subconscious, where nothing but pain, misery and devils dwell.
The hours pass.
I think.
There’s no clock down here and no windows so who bloody knows. But it feels like a hell of a long time. Long enough to warrant a visit to the bucket.
After a while, the door opens. Gabriel and Jensen both linger at the very top step.
‘Listen,’ I say. ‘I’m going to need my ancestor’s journal back before you lose it or let someone steal it. Again.’
‘It’s perfectly safe,’ he shrugs.
‘It isn’t, considering you let your brother, a man who sexually assaulted me a few months ago and who is now hunting for my baby and me-’
‘Our baby-’
‘He’s got notes, Gabriel. Grayson and Hendrix have translated notes from the journal.’
‘I know.’
‘So now he has knowledge. Which means he has power. Branded or not, there are ways around the binding of magic, and now he knows a way.’ I tut and wave my hand across my face in annoyance. ‘I can’t believe you let him get away from you.’
‘Let is a little strong. Grayson killed twelve of my people before he got away.’
‘He didn’t kill you. So clearly you weren’t doing a good enough job.’
‘You would rather I died than he be free? Funny. Me too if truth be told. If it meant keeping you safe.’
‘Urgh. Your sentimentality is more nauseating than morning sickness. He’s got a way to turn himself vampire, you know.’
‘Perhaps.’
‘And he’s also got Hendrix on his side.’
‘I know.’
‘In case you forgot, Hendrix and I aren’t exactly on speaking terms. I did compel him to rip out all of his teeth and then left him in a dungeon to fester and rot.’ The memory has me giggling to myself. ‘That was a good day. But I digress. If you leave me here like this, I am ripe for the picking because it is painfully clear that you are completely incapable of protecting anyone or keeping your brother or your deranged father under control. They find me down here; they will kill you and do Christ knows what to this baby and me. Not to mention that the Blood Moon is almost here! The next part of the spell-’
‘You had a vision of Grayson and Hendrix. I know your suspicions about Grayson looking to turn himself vampire. Tobias has already told me everything.’
I hold out my hand.
‘Journal. Now.’
‘You already know everything that’s in it. Rebecca transferred all her knowledge into you at the first Bloodstone spell.’
‘Clearly, I don’t, because I had no idea someone could turn themselves into a vampire and I have no idea what the spell Theo is planning to perform consists of. I wasn’t asking, Gabriel. Journal. Give it to me.’
‘I have a theory.’
‘Oh. Pray tell,’ I hiss.
He leans in close. The warmth of his breath lands on my skin and the certainty in his eyes makes me nervous.
‘What did you say earlier? When you told me that you were glad Amara died because it let you… how did you put it? “Shove Lilly’s humanity down in that pit of misery you’d been sealed away in”. So I got to thinking.’
‘Did it hurt?’
‘You see her. Lilly I mean. And she saw you. But when you didn’t see each other, where were those hidden parts hiding?’
I feel the hatred spread over my face as I realise I fucked up telling him what I did.
‘You see, when we connected the last time, I looked deep into your memories. Would you like to know what I saw?’
‘Not really,’ I snarl. Because I know.
‘I saw a long corridor, lined with doors. And when I looked inside one of those doors, just as I compelled you to do so, you led me straight to her. Straight to that barn. She’s stuck in there, reliving all her worst memories. I bet that behind each door, there are enough horrors to keep her distracted while you, Lilly’s Broken-self, commits atrocity after atrocity. So. My dear wife.’ He reaches out and grabs either side of my head as I scream and threaten the most painful death I can think of. ‘I’m going to find her and I’m going to guide her out.’
His eyes go black and Jensen steps closer, ready to help in whatever way may be needed.
‘Show me Lilly. Show me where she is in your subconscious. Take me to her mental prison. Take me to that hallway and show me where she is. NOW!’
