Charging through the kitchen, I swipe up a knife and sprint out the back door into the night. Nomad hands reach out for me, desperate to try and keep me contained. To keep me inside the apparent safety of the house.
Bullshit.
This house isn’t safe. Nowhere is safe. Not for me.
And not for him.
I run fast. My bare-feet are cold and damp from the grass as I make my way towards the charred remains of the apple orchard I burnt to the ground several months ago. I grip the knife in my hand, imagining it sliding through Toby’s flesh. The thick, red gliding down it’s handle and landing on my skin, warm and satisfying. I’ll carve him into pieces. I’ll skin him alive. I’ll cut his lilac eyes from his skull and force them down his throat.
Yes! A little voice calls out from deep inside my subconscious.
I’ll make him scream.
Yes!
I’ll make him bleed.
Yes! Yes!
I’ll make him pay.
YES!
‘NO!’ Gabriel tackles me to the floor as I scream and curse beneath him. Nomads run past us in droves, all armed and not one of them looks down at me as I thrash and threaten the man I love to let me go. The knife swings wildly between us. His eyes never stop watching it as he tries to get a grip on my wrists. He wraps his fingers around them, gripping them tight. So tight it hurts.
‘Drop the knife!’
‘GET OFF ME!’
He squeezes harder and I yell out in pain and anger.
‘DROP THE FUCKING KNIFE!’
‘NO!’
His eyes go black. Nomads continue running past us towards the remains of the orchard, all looking for Toby. The sound of their boots thumping the ground and the yelling of orders almost drown us out completely.
‘Drop. The. Knife.’ He snarls through his teeth with demon eyes and fury on his lips. My fingers release their hold on the blade and it lands with a small thump by my head. He gets to his feet and yanks me to mine. I still try and break free of his grip. Wanting nothing more than to run into the surrounding woodland and tear his little brother to pieces. Gabriel doesn’t use his magic on me again. There’s no need. I’m much smaller than him. He slides his arms around my waist, lifts me clear off the ground and starts taking me back inside. I pull and kick and wriggle against his hold. All pointlessly.
‘YOU’RE A DEAD MAN!’ I scream into the night, giving in and letting him carry back to the house. ‘YOU HEAR ME, TOBY? YOU MURDERING BASTARD! YOU’LL PAY! THE DEVIL HIMSELF WON’T KEEP YOU SAFE FROM MY VENGANCE! YOU MONSTER! Let me down, Gabriel!’ I bark.
As soon as his feet meet the tiles on the kitchen floor, he lets me down. The patio door is closed by Grayson who stands as a barrier between me and the night air.
‘Let me out there.’ I’m shaking from head to toe with such rage I think I could explode.
‘My men will find him if he’s there to be found,’ Grayson replies.
‘Your men couldn’t find shit if it was coming out of their arses,’ I bite back. ‘If they could, we would have had him after the fight at the Traitor camp.’
‘Did you sense him?’ he asks accusingly.
‘Excuse me?’
‘Did you actually sense Toby? Because it’s highly unlikely he would dare-’
‘He was here!’ I snap. ‘In this house! In our bedroom.’
‘Did you sense him?’
‘No. But it had to have been him. Tobias-fucking-Kendryk got into the house. Again!’ I look at Grayson accusingly. ‘He killed a girl. I told you, Grayson. A hundred times. The fact that we are still in this house is utterly ridiculous. We’re sitting ducks. We need to leave!’ I’m borderline frantic. He holds up his hand and tells me to settle down. ‘Don’t you tell me to settle down!’ I snap. ‘Don’t you dare! He was in our bedroom! I know he was! And he left a dead woman as a love letter!’
‘You’re okay, aren’t you? You’re in one piece!’ Grayson argues.
‘GO SAY THAT TO JADE! THE DEAD GIRL IN MY BATHROOM.’
He twitches and his fists clench. I have frightened, angry tears and sobs desperate to get out. A panic, dread and guilt filling my heart and chest. Whereas the rest of me is coursing with anger, hatred and the need to tear his throat out with my teeth.
‘Better Jade dead in your bathroom than you.’
‘You’re evil. You know that? Pure evil.’ As I take a step towards him, Gabriel gets between us. But his focus is on Grayson. Not me.
‘You assured me that the house was secured,’ he accuses.
‘It is,’ Grayson snarls. ‘We’re as safe as we could be. Protected at every border. You have both been digging around in the heads of the Nomads every week as a precaution. No way Toby got in here. If he had, her Sensativa would have exposed him.’
‘If Lilly says he was here, he was here. After last time, you swore to me that you would increase security. Him leaving flowers is one thing. This time, he killed someone. This time, he was in our bedroom-’
‘What?’ I turn him around. ‘Flowers? What flowers?’ I look at the note still in my hand. Did you like the flowers…
With a groan, he rests his hands on my shoulders and tries to put on a comforting smile. It doesn’t work. ‘I don’t want you to panic. Or get upset. But Bias has been leaving you … errr … presents.’
‘P-presents?’
‘Yeah.’ He sighs, his hand moving to my cheek. ‘I don’t want you to worry-’
‘What presents?’
‘It’s not important.’
‘What presents?!’
‘Flowers. Chocolates…’ His eyes flick over my shoulder to Grayson. ‘And…’
‘And what?’
‘He left a box of dead butterflies for you.’
‘Oh my god. A butterfly landed on my shoulder just before we shared our first kiss. I’d never seen one before. He said he fell in love with the wonderment in my eyes. What flowers did he send?’
‘Yellow Tansy’s and white Clovers. They were dead too. Why? What does it matter what kind?’
‘Toby always had a thing about flowers and using them as messages. He would leave me sprigs of white clovers sometimes on my windowsill, letting me know he was close. They mean “Thinking of you”. But the Tansy’s are a declaration of war. And a mix of the two is not good.’ I look at them each in turn. ‘You should have told me. Is that what you two were talking about by the pool? Is that why you keep having secret conversations? Hiding Toby’s gifts from me?’
‘I didn’t want you to get upset-’
I lower his hand and step back.
‘You lied to me.’
‘I didn’t lie. We just thought-’
‘We?’ I accuse. He glances at Grayson. ‘We.’ I repeat the word and it tastes vile in my mouth. ‘You colluded with Grayson to lie to me?’
‘It wasn’t like that.’ He attempts to explain, but I just shake my head. I don’t know what else to say or do. After everything we promised each other, after everything Grayson has done to us, to me, this is the second time he’s sided with him and kept me out of something I should know about. And now someone has died. In the exact way that I tried to end my own life the day I first met Toby. And Toby used Gabriel’s ex to send his screwed-up message.
‘Come to our room. We can talk about it.’ Gabriel takes my elbow. But I yank it free.
‘I’d rather not. Your ex is lying dead on our bathroom floor.’ I step back. My eyes travel up and down his body. ‘What’s wrong with you? Are you just a compulsive liar? Do you take pleasure in keeping me in the dark?’
‘He couldn’t have got in here. Not without you sensing him,’ Grayson states. ‘It was probably just one of his people.’
‘And that’s supposed to make me feel better? That maybe the person who shot Gabriel and Malcolm did this instead of Toby? This is madness. We need to do the spell now. We need to leave this house. Before he picks you all off one by one so he can get to me.’ But he just shakes his head. ‘How many people need to die until you can admit you’re wrong?’
‘As many as it takes to show you I know what’s best when it comes to keeping you alive,’ Grayson says through his teeth. ‘You are not ready to do the spell. And that is final. We are not leaving this house. And that, too, is final. One more word, Miss Hooper, And I will react. Do you understand me? And I know that you would hate for any harm to come to Amara.’
‘Jade’s body has been removed and your bedroom has been secured. I suggest you go and get some rest.’
‘I should have told you,’ he starts. ‘But I knew that you were struggling with everything. Even though you’ve been putting on this brave face. I was just scared that this might tip you over the edge.’
‘You agreed with him and kept me in the dark?’ With a balled-up fist, I strike him in the chest, which considering how I feel, is mighty restrained of me. ‘You swore. Together. No matter what. No more secrets. But you can’t help yourself, can you? You will always fall in line with him. You will always take his side.’
‘That’s not what happened,’ he replies, pointing a finger in my face. ‘I’m making the choices that will keep you safe and sane. Last night, you nearly caved your head in because of a nightmare. I have no idea what you’ll do to yourself if you think Bias can get to you.’
‘He can get to me. I’ve been telling you this since we came home from the fight at the Traitor camp. I’ve been screaming it at you all for months but you won’t listen. We shouldn’t be here!’ My foot hammers down on the floor.
‘If we leave this house, we have no protection. At least here, we have some.’
‘Tell that to Jade.’ I gesture to the door. ‘Go tell her how safe it is here. Oh wait, you can’t. BECAUSE SHE’S DEAD! And get your finger out of my face before I bite the damn thing off,’ I snarl. He looks at his out stretched digit and decides to stow it out the way. ‘Toby knows what to say. He knows what will affect me. And it’s not flowers or chocolates, Gabriel. It’s this.’ I gesture between us. ‘It’s you. Tell me, did he leave those little gifts somewhere I was likely to find them? The flowers and chocolates? The box of dead butterflies? Or where you or Grayson would?’ I see him think for a moment and then there it is. Ding! ‘But the big present, the one that he made sure I would find, the one that would make me realise he’s been sending things, that one I found. Because he wanted me to. He knew you would hide the others and keep them from me. He wants to make a wedge. Separate us. And because you and Grayson are predictable, he succeeded.’
‘He’s not that clever,’ he insists.
‘He’s smarter than all of you. He’s hands down the smartest person I have ever known. And the most manipulative. Gabriel, I need to trust you. Completely. We agreed, no more secrets. But you hide things from me. You agree with Grayson that I’ll stay, without even asking me. And what’s worse is you take his side over mine.’
‘I’m doing what I need to do to keep you safe. That’s literally all I care about,’ he pleads. ‘Sometimes, Grayson’s choices are the right choices.’
‘If you ever say that to me again, I will never forgive you. I don’t care what he says. If he says the sky’s blue, and I say it’s pink, you take my side. Because every time you don’t, he wins. And I’m telling you now, he won’t win. Not me. Not ever. I don’t care what I have to do, I’m getting away from him. You all think this house is so safe, it’s not.’
‘It’s the safest place we have.’
‘Then I’ll tear this place down brick by brick and force us out into the open rather than stay here for a year. Get out, Gabriel.’
‘This is my room,’ he laughs nervously. But I’m being deadly serious. ‘Lilly. Please… I’m on your side. The sky is pink, okay? Totally pink.’
‘Get. Out.’
‘Baby, I-’
‘GET THE FUCK OUT!’
