I THINK I might’ve accidentally transcended to heaven.
And if not, I was definitely somewhere on the outskirts.
At this point, there was no telling where my thoughts started and ended. My entire body felt limp as I sighed against the bed in pleasant exhaustion. It was safe to say my brain followed suit, feeling like a mindless glob of mush with nothing inside. I don’t think it was humanly possible to have a productive thought no matter how hard I tried.
This all probably sounded a lot more exhausting than it actually was, because it felt like heaven and euphoria and everything wonderful all mixed together. There was no telling when the last time I’d felt this soothed was. Actually, on second thought, I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt so content and relaxed in my entire life.
Hmm, I wondered if October would be down to do this one more time for good measure? Only next time, instead of being in the pool house, we could do it on my California King with thousand thread count sheets and the endless cloud of fluffy pillows. Oh, how I missed my pillows right now. Why did all men sleep with so few pillows? It should be a crime.
October walked back into the room, scooping me off the bed in one motion and carrying me toward the en suite bathroom. At least I thought. I couldn’t quite tell if I was half asleep or just in a weird blissed out state—either way, I wasn’t complaining.
As we got closer, I heard water trickling out of the bathtub faucet and I could smell Scarlett’s old vanilla cupcake bubble bath he must’ve put in there. A few moments later, he set me on the toilet seat, but I kept my eyes closed, trying to focus all of my energy on staying upright.
“You need to pee, baby.”
“Impossible. That requires focus… and energy.”
His hand caressed my cheek and I instinctively leaned into it. Letting the moment of peace pass between us as he delicately stroked his thumb over my cheek. “I know you can do it.”
I wasn’t sure whether I sat there for hours or milliseconds, but eventually, I did my business—I mean, at least I think I did? Who knows. Not me.
“Do you need my—’
“I got it.” I swatted October’s hand away, wadding some toilet paper off the roll and finishing the job.
I managed to open my eyes just enough to see him bending down in front of me before wiping a warm rag over my face. After wiping my left cheek, he gave it a quick kiss before doing the same on the other side.
“You’re so beautiful,” October whispered against my lips before pressing them against mine.
I hummed my appreciation as I kissed him back.
“Alright, let’s get you up.”
October scooped me up and carried me over to the warm bath, and much to my surprise he stuck his feet in first, holding me firm against his chest as he lowered us both into the tub.
“Come here.” He placed his hands gently on the sides of my upper arms and helped me lean back against his chest once again.
“No, I can’t.”
“We’re done for the night, baby. Let me clean you up.”
The gentleness in his voice nearly made tears well in my eyes. In all the years of my life, October was the least likely person that I could’ve expected to be stroking foamy soap over my skin and washing it away when I was too tired to do it myself.
There was something about it that made a fathomless longing unfold in my chest ache. The way that he was lathering my hair with shampoo, taking his time like there was nothing in the world that he’d rather be doing. I let him massage his fingertips through my scalp in circular motions and I swear the feeling from it was almost the equivalent of having an orgasm. Although, there wasn’t a single ounce of sexual intent in the way he washed my skin or rinsed my hair. This outwardly ultra-masculine man had a soothing, tender side of him I don’t think I’d ever noticed before—quite frankly, never knew existed.
“You did such a good job for me tonight.” His voice was low as he whispered against my ear.
“Happy to oblige.” I stuck out a thumbs up before lulling my head back against his shoulder.
A deep laughter rumbled from his chest that brought a smile to my lips.
I liked this.
I liked us. Together.
“I’m serious. Every time I thought you were too tired to continue, you’d surprise me by taking another one… and another one,” he praised, kissing along my jawline and my stomach filled with butterflies. I could listen to him talk like this all night.
“Keep going,” I taunted.
“And the way you kept going, taking me so well, even when you thought you couldn’t handle any more.” His breath against my ear sent chills skating down my skin. “I’m so proud of you.”
I was too drained to confirm, but I think one of the tears that had welled in my eyes slipped down my cheek.
Never in my life would I have guessed that October would be this attentive after sex—especially with me. Maybe it was heartless of me to assume he was going to be the kind of guy who got his and left, but I was pleasantly surprised to find that I was wrong.
Completely wrong.
October rinsed the conditioner out of my hair just as the water was starting to get cold. He got out first, drying off and throwing on the sweatpants that were on the counter before patting my body dry and wrapping the towel around me to carry me into the bedroom. He set me on top of the comforter on my side of the bed, but I made a jump up, abandoning my towel, heading straight for the door before he even had time to step away.
“Where are you going?” He tugged at my elbow, urging me to sit back down.
“My clothes are in the main house.”
“So, you’re just going to walk out there naked for anyone to see?”
“Why not? If they’ve been paying attention, they’ve already seen more than enough of me.” I hinted toward our endeavors from the last few weekends.
Plus, sometimes it was fun to just be careless and free. My next-door neighbor, Rita, was in her late eighties and she’s mentioned to me on more than one occasion that her bed time is six o’clock sharp. The house on the other side of me had been for sale for a few months now with no offers, so unless there were squatters that I didn’t know about, it wasn’t like anyone had caught on.
“Not a chance. Stay there. You’re wearing one of my t-shirts.”
October walked over to the closet and pulled out an old maroon shirt with his college football team logo printed on the front.
“I have a confession,” I said as he slipped that shirt over my head and pulled my arms through the holes.
“You can tell me anything, March.” There was that low, gentle voice of his again. He really had to stop doing that because every time he did it made my insides melt.
“I… kind of like wearing your clothes. Not to be rude, but I think they look better on me than they do on you.”
“In that case, I have a confession too…”
I hummed, urging him to keep going, but cut him off before he had the chance to speak. “Are you finally going to admit that you have a crush on me?”
“Not yet.” My eyes might’ve been half open at this point, but I could hear the smile in his tone. “But I am willing to agree that you look good wearing my t-shirt.”
“I have another confession,” I added. Maybe it was stupid of me to blurt out my feelings like this, but, at this point in life, I just didn’t care anymore. I was tired of harboring old resentment toward him. “I don’t hate you… anymore, at least.”
October stood there in silence, but I decided to keep going.
“Maybe I even like you. Not all the time, but sometimes.”
“I can work with sometimes.”
“Any other confessions?”
“Yeah, one time in tenth grade, I broke in through your bedroom window, and snuck a bag of weed into the back pocket of a pair of your dirty jeans, so you’d get grounded.”
Much to my surprise, his big, bellowing laugh filled the room. “You’re the reason I got grounded for three weeks? To this day, I’ve never seen my mom as pissed as she was when she found that in my laundry basket. I missed prom because of that.”
“Are you mad at me?” I shrunk into myself.
At the time, I didn’t feel an ounce of remorse for what I’d done. Especially after he’d drawn a slew of penises on my brand-new car with permanent marker a few months earlier. Granted, my dads found it significantly funnier than I did, but they didn’t hold me back from moving forward with my little revenge plan either.
Now that October was being so nice to me, though, I felt like spilling all the pent-up secrets I’d been keeping for years. The guilt was starting to weigh on me more than I thought it would.
October cupped my face into his hands and whispered. “I’m not sure I ever really was.”
He bent down and kissed me softly, pulling away then going back in for another. There was something about that second kiss that felt different from the rest. Like there was some alternate meaning behind it my too tired brain couldn’t wrap my head around.
This time I was the one to pull away from his lips, slipping beneath the sheets and flopping back onto the pillows. I made a mental note to remind him to step up his pillow game if this was going to be a regular occurrence, because not only were there only three pillows on the whole bed, but all of them were completely flat.
Why did every man have flat pillows?
Such strange, strange creatures.
October left the room for a few minutes, and by the time he came back the temptation of sleep was threatening to take me under. Keeping my eyelids open for longer than a couple seconds was a small feat. As long as he didn’t kick me out of his bed come morning, I’d be sleeping in until noon.
“Eat this for me.” He held out a PB&J in front of my face.
“I’m too tired. You eat it.”
“Two bites. That’s it.”
I grabbed the sandwich and took one normal sized bite of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, chewing slowly. It was so delicious—grape jelly, my favorite. Arguably the best meal I’d had in days—then again, that could’ve just been the exhaustion talking.
“One more. Make it a big one.”
“That’s what she said,” I joked, which won me a burst of laughter as I took another giant bite before sticking my hand out for October to take it and finish the rest.
“Good girl. Now, take a few sips so we can go to sleep.” He traded the sandwich for a glass of water and I fought a groan as I took two giant gulps and slumped back under the sheets.
I listened as October peeled back the covers on his side of the bed and shuffled his way under the sheets. Butterflies erupted in my stomach as he wrapped his arm around my waist and tugged me against his chest.
Another night, I would’ve over thought it. Maybe even pushed him away and made some snide remark about him letting his feelings get involved. Tonight, though, I didn’t mind. Not one bit.
He placed a few kisses below my ear and my skin erupted in goosebumps as he whispered in a low voice. “You we’re right, you know.”
“About what?” I mumbled, dozing in and out of consciousness.
“This really has become your sex house.”
“Stop talking and go to sleep.”
October reached up and turned my face toward his to give me a quick goodnight kiss before wrapping his arm around my waist once again.
Something deep, deep down told me that if I let my walls down enough that I could get used to this.
