“You okay?” Adam asks as we walk into the Windsor Motors building together. My heart squeezes tightly as I nod, my mind automatically drifting back to the countless times Lex has driven me to the office, the two of us kissing in the parking lot before work.
Everywhere I go, I’m reminded of him. It’s in the little things — in how my favorite coffee now reminds me of him, how I can’t speak to my mother without her asking about Lex. Even the prototype, something that’s always just been Dad and mine, now contains Windsor Motors components. In a matter of months, he’s become so entrenched in my life that I’m no longer sure who I am without him. He left me forever changed, and I’m not sure it’s for the better.
Amy looks up when I walk in, concern flickering through her eyes. Ever since she learned about my marriage to Lex, she hasn’t been quite sure how to treat me. “You’re back,” she says, smiling tightly. “I’m glad you recovered from the flu. I always get it around this time, too.”
I nod politely, feeling beyond guilty for calling in sick when the only part of my body that wasn’t functioning well was my broken heart. I felt so bad that I worked from home as much as I could, but it still doesn’t feel like enough.
“Raya.”
My back goes rigid at the sound of his voice, and I bite down on my lip as I turn to face my husband. He smiles ruefully at the sight of me, dark circles underneath his eyes. Lex looks like he hasn’t slept since the day I left, pure torment overtaking his expression.
My team falls silent, and I hesitate before gesturing toward his office. He nods, and I follow him, aware that we need to talk and unwilling to make a scene in public. It’s enough that my team now realizes I didn’t come in with Lex.
He turns around to face me the moment I close his office door behind me, his gaze roaming over my face hungrily, cataloging every inch of me. “I missed you so fucking much.”
My heart skips a beat, and I look down, unsure how to reply. I missed him too but admitting that won’t change a thing. I hesitate for a moment before reaching for the stack of documents in my bag. I stare at the papers and take a shaky breath before handing them to him.
“Please sign them,” I tell him, my voice steady, devoid of emotion. “We’ll file as soon as our three years are up.”
His eyes widen as he takes in the divorce papers in his hands, and then he barks out a laugh. “Over my dead body, Raya.” I watch in disbelief as he walks to his desk and grabs a lighter, looking me in the eye as the papers go up in flames. My jaw goes slack as he lets go of the stack just before the flames reach his fingers, the last remnants turning to ash before it hits the floor.
Lex walks up to me and places his index finger under my chin, making me face him. “I won’t ever let you go, little fairy. I may not be worthy, and I may not be the person you want, but I’m yours, Raya Windsor. I’ll be yours until the day I die, and not even you can change that.”
His hand moves to cup my face, and my eyes flutter closed for a moment. “I won’t let you control me,” I warn him, my voice soft. “I won’t let you track my every movement; won’t let you treat me like I’m the one who betrayed you. I won’t live my life in someone else’s shadow, being punished for things I didn’t do, things I’d never do.”
I take a step back, out of his reach. “I want real love and unwavering trust. I want the kind of partnership where we have each other’s back, where we’re always the one person the other can count on. I’ve done everything in my power to earn that, and I deserve it, Lex. I deserve to be loved wholeheartedly, and I deserve a healthy amount of trust. I won’t accept anything less, and it’s clear you can’t give me that. You never even tried, never gave me a real chance. From the moment we met, you’ve curated every significant moment we’ve shared, never letting me out of your sight for more than a few hours.”
I draw a shaky breath and shake my head. “When we first discussed our engagement, I told you that once our three years were up, you’d have to let me go so I could find the kind of love you could never give me. You told me you’d try, but you never did. You just pretended to.”
I run a hand through my hair, unable to take the look in his eyes. “I’m not what you want, Lex, and you can’t be what I need.” I look away, my chest aching. “The day we met, you told me you had no interest in love or relationships, and I just didn’t listen. Or maybe I did, and I just thought I’d be your exception… but look at us now. You never wanted this with me, and I should’ve accepted that then. It would’ve saved us both a lot of pain.”
“Raya,” Lex says, but I hold my hand up, cutting him off. “Just think about what I said today, Lexington. I’m offering you an out — a guilt-free way to escape all the pressure I put on you to turn this marriage into something it was never meant to be, all without losing your inheritance or the merger. I’ll start doing what you’ve done all along. I’ll pretend with you.”
He grabs my hand and holds on tightly. “Darling, I’m not going to say the words now, because I don’t want you to question them. I don’t want you to feel like I’m only saying it in an attempt to control this situation, because nothing could be further from the truth. What I will say is that I don’t need to try with you, Raya. Being with you is effortless, and it has been from the second we met. I see where you’re coming from, and I hear you.” He brushes my hair out of my face and takes a deep breath, his expression vulnerable. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I haven’t been trying as much as I thought I was, but that changes now.”
I search his face, unsure what to make of his words. I don’t dare believe him, but God, I want to, and I hate my own weakness more than I could ever hate him. “I’ll leave work with you at the end of the week,” I say, my voice soft. “We’ll go to my parents together as usual. Regardless of what’s going on between us, I don’t want to worry anyone else, least of all our families. After that, I’ll move back home, and we’ll figure out how to get through the remainder of our marriage. In the meantime, think about what I said. I’m willing to accept everything I wasn’t willing to consider when we got engaged, Lex. I’m done.”
