I raise a brow in surprise when I walk into the house on a Thursday afternoon to find the scent of my mother’s lamb biryani permeating the air. I head into the kitchen and find Lex standing behind the stove, his hair a mess and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up.
“I don’t need your help, Lola,” he says, sounding frustrated. “I just need saffron.”
Lola wheels through the kitchen and shakes her head, seemingly insistent on helping nonetheless. “I don’t think we have saffron, Lex,” she says, sounding oddly sad.
He sighs. “My mother-in-law said she doesn’t always use it, but that it’s nicer with it. What do I do? I just want this to be perfect.”
I smile to myself, my heart warming. It’s been three weeks since he asked me for a chance, and every single day, Lex has done what he told me he would — he’s done all he can to be the best husband he can be, to trust me even when it isn’t easy, and to relinquish the control he’s always held onto so tightly. He handed over all his security measures to Silas, making it impossible for him to monitor me himself, and when we go to my parents’ house, he no longer brings extra security, even though doing so still triggers nightmares at times.
And then there are the little things. He cooks for me most evenings, and he makes me coffee at the office every morning. Once a week, new flowers appear on my desk, and Celeste told me he spends hours choosing and binding them every time. Each bouquet is yellow, and each time, the accent flowers changes. So far, he’s given me yellow peonies for new beginnings, sunflowers for lasting happiness, and yellow tulips to symbolize hope. He never told me what the flowers meant, and had Celeste not deciphered their meaning for me, I’d never known.
“I’m sure it is perfect.”
He whirls around, his silicone spoon dropping to the floor, making a mess. “Raya.” He looks shocked to see me and glances at his watch, clearly not having expected me. He no longer tracks my movements, and it still throws him off to not always be aware of where I am. Every time I catch him by surprise, there’s a hint of discomfort in his eyes, but genuine delight always wins out shortly after.
I bite back a smile as I walk up to him. His gaze roams over my body hungrily, like he can’t help but commit every inch of me to memory. The way he looks at me drives the butterflies in my stomach wild. It’s different these days — he looks at me like I’m his whole world, like he’d do anything for a chance to be near me.
Lex reaches for me as soon as I’m within reach, lifting me on top of the counter as Lola cleans the mess he made on the floor. “I wanted to surprise you,” he says, parting my legs to stand between them, his hands on my waist. “Do you remember when you told me that your mom’s lamb biryani is your favorite dish? She taught me how to make it for you. I’m not sure it’s any good though. I tried to make it exactly how she taught me, but I forgot to add saffron.”
Lex’s breath hitches when I slide my hand around the back of his neck. “Biryani takes hours to make. How long have you been in the kitchen?”
He shrugs. “It’s fine. I took the day off for it. Besides, I spent a few hours in my lab this morning, so it’s not like I’ve been standing in the kitchen all day.”
He’s been doing that a lot lately — disappearing for hours every day to work on a project he won’t tell anyone but my father about. It’s got the entire company in uproar, and he doesn’t even realize it. I was told that each time he disappears to work on something in private, he comes back with a new revolutionary car that ends up making Windsor Motors a fortune. Every day, more articles written by industry experts appear, all of them attempting to guess which features Lex might put in his new car, and when the release date might be. All the while, he seems blissfully unaware of all the rumors as he works on his new car with Dad.
“Can I have a bite?” I ask, and he smiles sweetly as he reaches for a spoon. Our eyes lock as he feeds me a spoonful of the best biryani I’ve ever had, and I groan in delight.
“You like it?” he asks, his whole face lighting up.
“Told you,” I murmur, grinning. “I knew it’d be perfect.”
Lex grins as he puts the spoon down on the counter and places his hands on either side of my hips. “I’m so glad you like it. Now I just need to find a way to make you the perfect cup of masala tea. I don’t really know what the deal is with that, you know? I’ve tried it countless times, but it never tastes like your mom’s. Maybe I should just build a tea machine that can perfectly replicate hers, because every single cup I make just tastes different. There’s no consistency at all, and I can’t figure out what’s going wrong.”
I smile at my husband, my heart beating loudly as I cup his face and lean in to kiss him. Lex freezes for a moment, and then he’s kissing me back, his touch slow, filled with intention. His hands move to my hips, and he holds on tightly as he pulls me to the edge of the counter, until our bodies are flush.
The way he wants me is so empowering, so reassuring. “Raya,” he whispers against my lips. “I love you.”
I inhale shakily as the words wash over me, soothing my soul as I pull away a little to look at him. I’ve never seen my husband look so tormented, so pained. His breath hitches when I grab his shirt, our eyes locking as I undo the top button, and then another, until his shirt falls open.
“Again,” I whisper. “Tell me you love me again.”
He cups my face, drinking me in. “I love you, Raya Indira Windsor.”
My heart soars at the words, and I smile involuntarily, leaning in for another kiss. Lex buries a hand in my hair the moment my lips meet his, his touch tinged with desperation. “I love you,” he whispers in between kisses, over and over again, mending my broken heart.
He groans against my mouth when I push his shirt down his arms, his lips never leaving mine as he shrugs out of it. My husband waits for my next move patiently, never asking for more than I’m willing to give, but he moans in delight when I undo the button on his trousers.
He pulls away to look at me, making a soft, needy sound when I grab his hand and place it on my bare thigh, underneath my skirt. Lex bites down on his lip, our eyes locked as he slides it between my legs. He groans when he realizes I’m wet, and he looks at me like he can’t quite believe I still want him. Lex pushes my panties aside, and his head falls back as his eyes fall closed for a moment, a possessive smile on his face. “Fuck, you’re so wet for me, baby.”
He slides his fingers over me, his eyes on mine as he teases me. I moan when he slips two fingers inside me, my hips moving involuntarily. It’s been so long, and I want him more than I care to admit. “Please,” I whisper.
He nods and wraps his free hand in my hair, keeping my eyes on his. “There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you, you know that?” he whispers, his thumb caressing me in that way I like. “Nothing I won’t do to make you smile, to keep you looking at me this way.”
My hips begin to move against his fingers, and his expression shifts. “Show me my favorite sight,” he pleads, curling his fingers inside me. “Please, Raya. I need to see you come for me.”
He watches me as I slowly unravel for him, our eyes locked as my muscles begin to contract. “That’s it,” he whispers, looking enchanted. “Come for your husband, little fairy.” I moan his name, and it feels more intimate this time. I feel more vulnerable. My heightened emotions just make it an even better experience than ever before.
Lex slowly pulls his fingers out of me, his eyes widening when I lock my legs around his hips and pull him closer. He looks at me with a hint of insecurity, and I smile as I reach for him, my hand sliding into his trousers to wrap around his cock. “I want you,” I whisper. “I’ve missed you.”
He inhales shakily as he lines himself up and pushes just the tip in before grabbing my face, his gaze roaming over me. “I miss you too, baby. Every second of every day.”
Lex pushes into me slowly, his eyes never leaving mine as he takes me, pushing inch after inch into me. He looks tormented, like he’s desperate for me, but he takes it slow nonetheless, like he wants to savor the moment, commit it to memory.
“I want this with you forever,” he whispers, grabbing my hips. “I will always be yours, Raya.” He pulls out almost all the way, only to thrust back into me, our eyes locked. “Forever and always. I will love you for as long as my heart beats, and longer still.”
I moan as he takes me slowly, his eyes never leaving mine as he continues to tell me that he loves me, over and over again, his touch as filled with desperation as his words are.
