I sneak a look at Luca as Abuela tells him how naughty I was as a child, the feeling bittersweet.
“Look at this,” she says, showing him an old photo album. “She loved that doll so much that she’d cry if you tried to take it from her. I think she loved that doll more than she loved me.”
Abuela seems to be doing well, and I owe it all to him. He ensured that she has round the clock care, and he even had a team come in to assess whether anything in the house could be dangerous to her. It looks like they cleared out a lot and created a lot more space, without taking away anything Abuela loves. They ensured that her home remained comfortable and recognizable for her, and I couldn’t be more grateful for it.
“Val,” my mother murmurs as she sits down next to me on the sofa, her eyes on Luca. He’s lost in conversation with Abuela, treating her with endless patience and kindness. I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I shouldn’t have worried. He’s treating my family the way he treats his own, and he doesn’t look uncomfortable at all. “Tell me,” Mom says, her voice soft. “Are you happy?”
I tear my eyes off Luca to look at her, surprised she’d ask me that. I don’t recall the last time she was even remotely concerned about my happiness. Perhaps this is the kind of question a daughter should expect from her mother, but that isn’t the case for me. I glance back at Luca for a moment, the edges of my lips turning up. “Yeah,” I whisper. “I’m very happy.”
She follows my gaze and sighs. “I hope I was wrong,” she says, her voice so soft I nearly miss it.
I instinctively tense, worried she’ll start talking about my dad and the way he wronged her. I don’t want Luca to hear, especially now that he knows who my father is. Maybe it’s silly, but I want to maintain the façade I crafted. It isn’t often that we’re having a pleasant evening together like this, and for just tonight, I want to delude myself into believing that I’m just a girl, happily married and surrounded by her loving family.
“Just be careful,” she adds. “End of the day, all men are the same. They only want one thing. Things might be good and fun now, but the shine will wear off. Your father was the same. I’m very worried about you, Val. I never wanted you to marry him. Marriage should be between two equals, after all. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
I let my eyes fall closed for a moment. “Please don’t,” I whisper. “Not tonight, Mom.”
She frowns, and I brace myself for the inevitable deluge of complaints. In my mother’s opinion, I should be more grateful to have her, more mindful of everything she went through. Most of the time, I am, but I don’t have it in me tonight.
Mom opens her mouth, but before she can utter a word, I notice Luca flinching from my peripheral vision. Abuela smacks his arm hard, and I turn toward them, shocked.
She looks at him in confusion, her expression portraying genuine concern and fear. “Who are you?” she asks, her eyes filled with panic. “Y-you… w-why are you in my house? I have no valuables,” she tells Luca.
She jumps up and takes a step back, nearly tripping when she bumps into the coffee table. It only takes her nurse a second to reach her, her movements swift but gentle.
“Abuelita,” I say as I rise to my feet, my tone calming. “He’s my husband, Abuelita. It’s okay.”
She turns toward me, but there’s no recognition in her eyes. My heart sinks when she raises her arm and tries to hit me. I step back, shocked.
My grandmother has always been my world and having her look at me without an ounce of recognition kills me. It hurts to watch her sanity devolve like that when she’s always been one of the smartest and most courageous people I know.
“Leave,” Mom says, her tone urgent. “Go to your room. She’ll just get more and more agitated if there are too many people around her. It’s okay, Val. Everything will be okay, but you need to go.”
Luca grabs my hand and guides me out of the living room as Abuela’s shouting intensifies. It’s clear that she doesn’t understand why there’s a nurse in our living room, and her distraught expression haunts me all the way up.
Luca sits me down on my bed and kneels in front of me, his hands covering mine. “Valentina,” he whispers, his voice pained. “Are you okay?”
My eyes drop to his wedding ring, and a tear runs down my cheek. Luca cups my face and swipes at my tears with his thumbs, his gaze filled with concern. “Don’t cry, baby,” he murmurs. “Please, my love. I promise you that our medical staff is doing everything in their power to give your grandmother the support she needs.”
I nod, but my tears only fall harder. Luca sits down next to me and pulls me into his embrace, my heart breaking in so many different ways. He doesn’t say a word. All he does is pull me into bed with him until I’m lying half on top of him, my face buried against his neck. He holds me tightly as I fall apart, his touch soothing.
“I… I wish you could’ve met her sooner. My abuela means the world to me. If not for her, I wouldn’t be the person I am today. She has always been a shining light, my beacon when the world was engulfed in darkness. You would’ve loved her. She’s so funny, and so insightful, and she’s just the best cook.”
He presses a kiss on top of my head and nods. “I know, my love,” he murmurs. “Remember when I tried to replicate your grandmother’s taquitos? It was a disaster, but someday, I’m going to ask her to teach me. And you’re right, she really is funny. Remember how she taunted you when we first told them about us and called me the devil?”
He cups my cheek and smiles. “I know it hurts, baby, but these episodes, that’s not her. She’s just confused and scared, and it’s only natural to react that way. I won’t ever think badly of her for it, so don’t worry about how I perceive her. How could she be anything but lovely when she played such a big role in raising you?”
My eyes fill with tears all over again, but for a different reason this time. “Luca,” I whisper. “To be honest, I was really scared to bring you home with me. I didn’t want you to see how imperfect my family is. You’ve always seen me as such a highly competent partner, but when I’m at home… I just… I lose sight of who I’ve grown into. I didn’t want you to witness that and think less of me.”
He turns us over so we’re both on our side, the two of us facing each other. “I figured as much. You’ve been tense ever since we got here, and you’ve barely spoken a word. You’re withdrawn and nervous, and that isn’t like you.” He tucks my hair behind my ear and sighs. “There is nothing you could do or say that will make me want you any less. You’re my wife, Valentina, for better or for worse. I don’t just want the best parts of you, baby. I want all of you.”
I look into his eyes, my heart bleeding. This is why I’m so scared lately — because with each passing day, he steals away more of me than I’m willing to give.
