“You leave for like two minutes to do what exactly?”
“It’s not what you think.” I lower my voice, scanning the area to make sure no one can hear. There’s a large oak tree in the middle of our circled driveway, so tall that we’re able to stand behind it without anyone in the house seeing us. “I told you, I ran into him.”
“And who invited him over?”
“Me, but again, it’s nothing. Austin is just an old friend.”
“From memory, and please correct me if I’m wrong, wasn’t it only two months ago that he was in your bed?” His artic tone is anything but inviting. “And isn’t this the same boyfriend who broke your heart?”
The malice rolls off his tongue so effortlessly as he bares his teeth, fuming with anger. I cross my arms beneath my breasts, annoyed he’d even suggest I’d do something. If I recall, Austin was no better, so perhaps this is a man thing.
“You’re a dick,” I blurt out, unapologetic. “You don’t even tell me you’re coming, blindside me in front of my dad, of all people. Now, you’re accusing me of doing what?”
Will shakes his head, distracted by his phone buzzing in his pocket.
“I have to take this call,” he grits, unable to look at me. “As for surprising you, I’m sorry for thinking you’d want to see me.”
He takes the call, walking away from me to create distance. I don’t stand around, worried we were seen, and head back inside to find Ava pacing the foyer. The second she sees me, her eyes bulge as she grabs my arm, dragging me up the staircase toward her bedroom. Closing the door behind us, she continues to yank me into her bathroom, locking the door behind us.
“You need to talk… like now.”
“Ava…”
“From the beginning,” she demands.
My body slides against the tiled wall until I’m sitting on the cold floor. I began with the moment I stepped into his office to my drunken mishap at the club. There’s the part about Austin and his encounter with Will, and then our tandem hang gliding. When it comes time to tell her about when we first slept with each other, I hesitate, unsure how she’ll react.
“You can’t stop here,” she complains with extremely bright eyes. “How many times have you had sex?”
I bow my head, tugging at the bottom of my sweater. “I’ve lost count.”
“Oh my God!”
Grabbing her arm, I warn her to be quiet.
“Ava, I need you to listen to me.” I squeeze her hands tight, allowing my eyes to plead with hers. “You can’t tell anyone. You need to promise me this. Not Andy, not any of your friends, and especially not Mom.”
Ava nods her head in agreement.
“Millie, I promise not to tell anyone. But how can you continue to lie to Mom?”
The reality of her words hit me like a ton of bricks—the deception, the secret life I’ve been living. I have never willingly lied to Mom and for this long. Though the more I do, the more it almost becomes second nature. And I hate myself for lying to her like she means nothing to me.
“I don’t know where this is going,” I stammer, my eyes falling on the floor. “This might just be a fling, so what’s the point if it’s over soon?”
“And what if it’s love?”
“C’mon, Ava,” I argue back, shaking my head. “He’s a player, right? You’ve heard Mom and Aunt Nikki. I’m young, and men like young women.”
“Yeah, I have, Millie. But I also just saw the way he turned into some jealous beast when he saw you walk in the door with Austin. If he were a player, why would he care?”
“Ego… that’s it.”
Ava closes the lid on the toilet, taking a seat before releasing a long-winded sigh. “Do you love him?”
“Love?” I question, raising my brows. “We sleep together, that’s it. How can I love someone I’ve known for like two seconds?”
“But you haven’t known him for two seconds,” Ava points out. “You’ve known him your entire life. There’s a photo on the wall by the staircase of him holding you the day you were born.”
I hear what she’s saying but refuse to entertain being in love with him. What do I know about love, anyway? I thought I loved Austin and look how that turned out. Infatuation, lust, and desire are three very accurate words to use when asked how I feel about Will.
Mom’s voice echoes outside the bathroom, calling my name.
“Listen,” I tell Ava softly. “I need you to help me, you know, talk to Will at the table, so it doesn’t look so awkward.”
“Of course, Millie,” she assures me with a nod. “I’ve got you covered.”
I unlock the door as Mom stands behind it, surprised to see the two of us inside. Her expression quickly shifts to curiosity. “There you are. Austin is looking for you, and I hope you don’t mind that I asked him to stay for dinner.”
Unsure of what to say, I try to keep my opinion to myself but fail miserably.
“I guess so.”
“Is there a problem?”
“Well, Mom, he’s her ex,” Ava concedes. “How would you like it if you had dinner with your ex in front of your whole family?”
Mom’s wide-eyed expression looks somewhat amused by Ava’s question, yet she keeps her thoughts private. I wonder again if it has something to do with the Uncle Julian rumor.
“I understand it can be rather uncomfortable, but I gathered that everything between you guys is great because you brought him back here. I’m sorry if I misinterpreted that.”
Not wanting to make Mom feel bad, I quickly jump in.
“No, Mom, it’s fine,” I offer with a smile. “And things between Austin and me are great. We’re just friends, and whatever happened in the past is in the past. I swear I don’t have any romantic feelings toward him. In fact, Ava and I were just discussing it.”
“I figured you were having a conversation you didn’t want your father overhearing.” She smirks.
We both grin on cue, guilty as charged.
“Well, dinner will be ready soon, so why don’t you go down and keep him entertained,” Mom suggests, stopping just shy of the door before glancing my way. “Your father is in his office with Will. Something urgent came up. I’ll be surprised if they make it to dinner.”
If only luck is on my side.
I follow Mom out of the room, stopping momentarily to motion for Ava to follow us.
Downstairs, Austin is sitting in the kitchen with his phone in hand, looking just as handsome as I remember him. There’s a small smile playing on his lips, and I’m wondering if he’s texting his new girlfriend. It only dawns on me now that I should’ve mentioned that to Will, but what difference would it make? He made up his mind the moment he saw us together.
“Hey, sorry about that. Ava needed something, and I didn’t want to interrupt you and Dad.”
He places his phone down, turning to face me. “It’s fine. Your father was very helpful until Will came in.”
“To his office?”
“Yes, your father made it very clear that Will is destined to be the next billionaire.”
“Dad says that about everyone.”
“So…” Austin drags, tapping his fingers on the counter. “Why is Will here? Because your Dad never mentioned why?”
I shrug my shoulders. “Not sure. I only found out when you did.”
“Millie…” he trails off as Mom walks into the kitchen and tells us to go sit at the table.
We both offer to help, which she kindly refuses. With Addison and Alexandra already seated, I take a seat as Austin sits beside me. The girls are bombarding Austin with questions about being a doctor, a lot of it rather gross for dinner conversation.
Dad walks into the dining room, stopping to kiss the girls on their heads before taking a seat at the table. I glance over to him, yet he doesn’t appear to be bothered by Austin sitting at the table with us, nor does it look like he suspects anything about Will and me.
I breathe a sigh of relief until Will walks in, avoiding my stare with his head down. Ava bounces behind him, pushing him along, which appears to annoy him. They take a seat across from me, and I have to give it to Ava—she’s doing her best to act like she didn’t just hear the biggest news of her life.
For most of the dinner, Dad is asking Austin questions, and occasionally, Mom pipes up. I shove my food around my plate, doing my best to avoid any eye contact with Will. But paranoid that my parents will notice my behavior, I throw in a few comments here or there.
“What’s everyone’s plans for New Years’?” Mom asks, changing the topic of conversation.
“You know mine, Mom.” Ava grins.
Dad places his fork down, glancing over with a stern expression. “That’s yet to be determined, Ava,”
“Aw, c’mon, Dad. It’s senior year.”
Mom is quick to divert attention to Austin. “How about you, Austin?”
“There are a few parties back on campus, but a few friends are thinking about staying in Manhattan.”
“Oh, that would be lovely, nothing like bringing in the new year in Time’s Square,” Mom responds with a smile, then turns to face me. “What about you, honey?”
“Me? Maybe the city or campus. Liesel will probably drag me to something.”
“You can join us,” Austin suggests, a smirk playing on his lips. “Can’t guarantee what will happen. Med students are a wild bunch.”
Dad laughs as if it’s some private joke. I try my damn hardest not to look up at Will, but like a magnetic force, my eyes move on their own accord until our gaze locks. My pulse begins to race. All my senses ignite like a fire roaring to life. The heat starts to rise in my cheeks, forcing me to drop my gaze to steady my breath.
Terrified that someone has noticed the flush in my cheeks, I drink the entire glass of water, willing myself to cool down.
“And how about you, Will?” Mom asks, glancing at him with amusement. “Rocky always likes to enjoy himself on New Year’s Eve. No doubt, your mother is already planning his bail money.”
Will clears his throat, turning to face Mom with a smile. “I’ll be in Boston for work.”
Did he just say Boston? Anger stirs within me for his lack of communication. Typical Will with his work, always first in his eyes. He’s just like Dad, and the more I think about it, the more it irritates me. The same goes for London—not once has he mentioned it being a possibility real soon.
I raise my eyes again to see Ava across from me, a worried expression on her usually jovial face. As if she can read my thoughts, she begins to talk about colleges she’s applied to, which, of course, warrants Dad’s opinion since none of them were close to home.
“Thank you for the meal, Mr. and Mrs. Edwards,” Austin says, wiping his mouth with the napkin. “It’s getting late, and I should be getting home.”
My parents wish him luck with school and suggest he visit any time he’s back here in LA.
“I’ll walk you out,” I tell him, avoiding Will’s gaze.
Outside the front of our home, I cross my arms to shield my chest from the cold night’s air. The moon is bright tonight, full and round, a beautiful sight amongst the dark sky.
“It was great to see you, Austin.”
“Millie.” He lowers his gaze, only to lift it moments later. “You’re playing with fire.”
“What are you talking about?”
“You know what I’m talking about,” he coerces with both hands in his pockets. “Are you willing to tear apart your family for some guy?”
“Austin—”
“I know you better than you think. Once upon a time, your eyes looked into mine the same way they’re looking into his.” I can almost hear the hurt in his voice, but he manages to ignore the stumble. “He’s too old for you. Do you honestly expect him to give up his dream of becoming the next billionaire to play boyfriend to a college girl?”
And the secret comes out to the one person I didn’t want to hurt. We may have been friends, and I may have been okay with his admission to dating Summer, but deep down inside, I know that Austin has figured out the depth of my feelings toward Will.
Something I can no longer hide.
“It’s not that simple,” I mumble.
“No, it’s not that simple. Somebody is going to get hurt, and the chances are, it’s all you, Millie.”
“I’m an adult now,” I say defensively. “I can handle this.”
“You’ve worked hard to get where you are. Don’t let this hinder your dreams of studying law. Guys like him don’t settle down, they play women, and you’ll be no different.”
I touch the base of my neck, unable to meet his longing stare.
“I’ll be fine, I promise. Don’t worry about me.”
“I’ll always worry about you, Millie.”
Austin wraps his arms around me, a tight embrace bringing back a flood of memories. It would’ve been so much easier to have fallen in love entirely with Austin and continue seeing him. My parents would have approved since they’ve always welcomed him inside our home.
All the things that couples do together—Christmas, New Year’s Eve—all of which I could’ve spent with him without the worry of being caught since it wouldn’t be a problem.
But none of this matters, not when my heart belongs to someone else.
And I can no longer deny my feelings toward Will, however raw, consuming, and irrevocably profound my emotions may be.
I say goodbye to Austin, promising to catch up online and possibly when he’s in town. Walking back toward the house, I have no idea what to do next, wanting very much to be alone right now to process tonight.
As I take steps toward the door, my gaze drifts to the window near my dad’s office, and I swear eyes are watching me.
I manage to escape to my room, telling Mom I’m tired and need some sleep, avoiding Will at all costs while trying to come to terms with my admission. Ava joins me for a while, lying in bed with me and asking question after question. It isn’t long before I kick her out, desperately needing solitude.
Inside my bed, I toss and turn with the urge to text Will. Every time I begin to type, I erase the message. Nothing I can say right now will calm his anger toward Austin coming here, and I’m terrified of acting differently now that my feelings have shifted.
By one o’clock, after hours of staring at the ceiling, I jump out of bed to leave my room. Dressed in my tattered Lakers tee and bed socks, I close the door to my room. The house is shadowed in complete darkness, not a single person awake.
I tiptoe toward the kitchen, open the refrigerator, and grab a bottle of water to quench my thirst. But as I continue to stand here, I toy with temptation, reminding myself exactly where the cameras are positioned.
I need to see him and clear the air between us before it tears us apart.
When I walk through the back hall, I head toward the other wing of the house with the guest bedroom, carefully avoiding where all the cameras are pointing. When it comes to security systems, my dad spared no expense. Over the years, Ava and I have learned a few tricks despite its so-called sophisticated technology.
Standing outside the bedroom door, a tightness overcomes my chest. What if he tells me he can’t do this? That this was just a fling? That I’m too young and not worth the trouble? Can I handle hearing those exact words right now?
I take a deep breath. It’s now or never.
Slowly, I turn the handle and gently close the door behind me. With the drapes open, I see his shadow against the large bed frame. He’s resting on his back with his arm beneath his head, his sculpted chest visible under the pale moonlight. My walls begin to crumble at the sight of him. I can’t hold back anymore, desperate to touch him and tell him how I feel.
Moving toward the bed, I stand beside it with hesitation. The second his hand reaches out for me, I climb under the sheets and snuggle into the side of his body, allowing his skin to envelope me with warmth. I purposely lay my head on his chest, listening to the sound of his beating heart. It’s playing the most beautiful tune, and I wish for it to be only ever heard by me.
“Amelia,” he breathes into my hair. “You shouldn’t be here.”
“I don’t care,” I tell him, tired of fighting how I feel. “I want you.”
“I want you, too, but if we get caught, it will be over for us.”
“They won’t find out, I promise.”
I climb on top of him as his hands softly graze my thighs. My lips find his instantly, a gentle kiss that deepens as my body aches so desperately for him. We come up for a breath, only to fall back into feverish kisses. Our soft moans, barely audible for fear of being heard, get lost in the intensity of our actions.
I remove my tee, exposing my breasts. Beneath me, Will’s body tenses, his hands cupping my breast while he pushes his groin against me. The thought of being caught becomes this unknowing thrill, forcing me to strip him bare, including myself, so we’re both naked.
Without warning him, I slide myself on to feel him clench beneath me. We grind softly, doing our best to keep quiet. Every inch of my body cries out to be touched. All senses heightened more than ever before. I slow down, running my hand along his jaw.
“It’s only you,” I murmur, slowing my movements. “Austin means nothing to me.”
“I know.”
“Do you know?”
He places his hands on my cheek, caressing it softly. “Amelia, my feelings for you are… I can’t explain it. I’ve never felt this way over anyone, and it scares me. You’re nineteen.”
“I know. I’m young.”
“You have your whole life ahead of you.”
I feel vulnerable, but even at this moment, he strokes my cheek gently as my heart races, aware that he’s still inside me.
“But I don’t want to stop,” he says with finality.
Even though our eyes barely meet in the darkness, there’s something that passes between us, something so strong that neither of us can no longer deny. His lips kiss mine softly, and that connection between us deepens as we both make love, finishing in harmony.
With our breaths short, I pull myself off and continue to lay on top of him.
I don’t know how long I should stay here in his arms under the roof of my parents’ home.
But one thing I knew for sure is that Ava is right.
I am falling in love with him.
