“I need tampons.”
Ava barges into my room without a polite knock on my door, heading straight for my bathroom to raid my cabinet.
“A please would be welcomed,” I mutter under my breath.
Seconds later, Ava comes out empty-handed.
“You don’t have any?”
I shrug my shoulders, trying my best to focus on the laptop screen. The assignment is due in a few weeks, but I thought to get a head start given I’ve lost focus of late and need to get my head back into studying mode. It doesn’t help that my phone proves to be a distraction as does social media. I resort to turning my phone off entirely to focus on my paper.
“Have you checked Mom’s bathroom?”
Curling her lip, Ava shakes her head with a look of disgust. “No, because the last time I tried, I stumbled on lubricant. It was strawberry-flavored. I mean, really, Mom and Dad are still having sex?”
I snort involuntarily, displaying a wide grin. “Really, Ava? Of course, they have sex. Don’t ever walk past their room between midnight to six in the morning. Once you’ve heard Mom moan, it’s permanently stuck in your head.”
“Gross,” Ava exclaims, wrinkling her nose while flinching. “You mean Dad can still get it up?”
“Ava!” My mouth slackens, disturbed by this conversation. “Can you not use the words ‘get it up’ and ‘Dad’ in the same sentence? Besides, he only just turned fifty-two. Mom’s still in her forties. Erectile problems usually strike in the seventies, I think.”
“Never say the word erectile to me ever again,” Ava declares, shuddering. “This doesn’t solve my tampon issue.”
“I’ll go to the drugstore to get you some. Happy?”
With a satisfied smile, she replies, “That’s what big sisters are for.”
I welcome the drive to the drugstore, stopping at a café first to grab myself a coffee. Despite the wintery season, the sun is shining, though a cool breeze warrants a sweater. It’s a nice change from the godawful snowstorm hitting the East Coast right now.
Balancing my coffee in one hand, I check my phone but still no response from Will after my rather dirty text I sent him this morning. Trying my best to ignore the rejection seeping in, I think logically and assume he’s busy with work even though it’s the day after Christmas.
Tossing away my empty cup, I grab a red basket, throwing in a couple of things I need in there before perusing the feminine products aisle. Ava didn’t even indicate what type of tampons she wants, so I send her a quick text:
Me: How big is your vagina now that you sleep around? Do you need super?
Ava: Bitch. Regular will do just fine.
I laugh to myself before yanking a box of regulars and throwing it in my basket. As I lift my head, the familiar warm honey-colored eyes are smiling back at me.
“Austin?”
“Millie?”
My mouth falls open, and we both laugh before we find ourselves in our familiar embrace. Everything about him brings back memories—the scent of his cologne, the comfort of his arms around me. It may have been over two months, but when you’ve spent almost every day with this person in high school, it feels like a lifetime ago.
I give myself a moment to take him in, certain he has grown taller during our time apart. I wasn’t sure if that were possible at our age to continue growing, but nevertheless, where our faces once met lost in a passionate kiss now appears unaligned.
His physique, though hidden behind a baggy sweater, still looks formed. Yet surrounding the beautiful eyes I once dreamed of every night is the face of a boy who has matured into a man. His jawline, more prominent, is shadowed by a slight beard, making him seem a hell of a lot older.
“What are you doing here?”
“Errands for my sister.” He drops his gaze toward the basket. “It’s that time, apparently, tomorrow.”
My shoulders rise then fall, unable to hide my laughter. “Me, too. At least your sister gave you warning, mine just raided my cupboard hoping to hit the jackpot.”
We both slow down our breathing, caught in a stare that feels all too familiar.
“How have you been? I mean, the last time we spoke…”
Austin places his hand on my arm. “Hey, don’t get caught up on how it ended. We both were trying to adjust. It was for the best. But I shouldn’t have said the things I said. I’m sorry, Millie. It was completely uncalled for.
I nod my head, glad he feels that way. “So, how have you been?”
“Busy. The class load is insane. Even coming back here, I feel like I’ll falling behind or something.”
“Me, too.” I sigh, relieved someone else understands. “I was studying before Ava interrupted me. You know, if you need any guidance, my dad isn’t working right now. I’m sure he’d chat with you, maybe give you some pointers?”
“You know what? I may take you up on that.” He grins with relief, almost as if a burden has been lifted from his shoulders. “Is he free today?”
“Yes, why don’t you come over? I’m sure Mom would love to say hello, too.”
We agree to follow each other back to my place, paying for our purchasers, then chatting while walking back to our cars. It’s so good to be able to catch up without the pressure of labeling our relationship because, at the end of the day, we were friends before lovers.
“Millie, I want to be honest and tell you I’m seeing someone.”
I still my movements, unsure what to say. It doesn’t hurt, not one bit, but then I wonder if I need to be just as honest? There’s too much at stake, so I opt to keep my personal life to myself.
“I’m happy for you, Austin. You deserve only the best.”
“Thank you.” He beams, letting out a huge breath. “I’ll tell Summer you said that.”
“Summer.” I chuckle knowingly. “The name rings a bell.”
“I know what you’re thinking. There wasn’t anything going on until we broke up, I promise.”
“I believe you,” I reassure him, patting his shoulder.
“And you? Are you seeing anyone?”
I put on my best fake smile. “No one at all. I’m not good at balancing studying and the relationship thing.”
Austin nods his head, keeping his mouth pursed. It’s better to lie than to be honest about Will. Even I don’t know what we are, so how am I supposed to define our relationship to other people? We never use the word boyfriend or girlfriend. Partner sounds like we’re in some lesbian relationship. Lovers would be more appropriate, but even then, it isn’t the right fit.
“So, I’ll follow you home?”
“Yep, see you there.”
Austin bumps my shoulder as the two of us laugh over the time in class when our teacher split his pants. The timing was uncanny, he was on the verge of sending us all to detention because of a silly prank a kid pulled yet didn’t confess to. Our walk down memory lane is exactly what I need, easing my tension from the last few days.
Our laughter carries through the hallway until Ava skips down the stairs, dressed in a pair of ripped jeans and my khaki GAP sweater. The nerve of her to borrow without asking. With an incredulous stare, she continues to the bottom, playfully swatting Austin on the arm.
“Is this who I think it is?”
“Hey, Ava.”
“We ran into each other in the drug store. Awkward, considering I was fetching your tampons, and Austin was for his sister.”
Ava blushes. “That’s awkward, but I guess since you’re going to be a doctor, you’ve got to get used to this, right?”
Austin chuckles, cocking his head to the side. “I never looked at it that way, but you have a point.”
“I invited him over for coffee, plus thought he could chat with Dad. Is he around?”
“Actually…” she says, pointing in the opposite direction. “Dad is in the kitchen with Will.”
My body freezes at the name, tongue-tied and unable to compute what she just said. “Will?”
“Yeah, apparently Mom begged him to come for two days when she found out that Uncle Rocky and Aunt Nikki decided to make a last-minute road trip to Boca.”
I swallow multiple times, trying to ignore the flutter inside my stomach. With Austin standing beside me, it won’t look good to Will. It didn’t even occur to me that it was a bad idea to bring Austin back here because we’re just friends. That is until the thought of Will and Austin inside the same room sends my body into complete panic mode.
Fuck. What the hell do I do?
Before I even have a chance to tell Austin to go, Dad and Will appear in the foyer. Dad appears surprised yet extends his hand, wishing Austin a Merry Christmas.
But then my eyes wander to the those of a man less impressed, dressed casually in a pair of jeans and a gray hoodie. With a sullen look, Will is staring at me without a single welcoming smile. His lips are pressed flat, the muscles on his face tight. Yet despite his obvious jealous expression, he still looks incredibly handsome, making me realize just how much I miss him.
This could all blow over in this very minute if Austin even breathes to Dad about his suspicions. Austin is quick to glance at Will, then back to me. With a smile, I turn my focus to Ava, begging her to do something—anything—to bring attention to her.
Ava stares at me oddly, then almost as if it clicks, she laces her arm in Will’s, distracting him momentarily.
“Dad, Austin wanted to chat to you about medical school, but if you’re working with Will…”
“We can take a break.” Dad offers with a heartfelt smile. “Let’s go into my office, son.”
They disappear, leaving Will, Ava, and me still standing in the foyer. I can practically see the steam boiling from his ears, but we both have to pretend nothing is going on with Ava present.
“Is Austin your boyfriend?” Will questions, though keeping his tone neutral.
“Ex. This is the first time I’ve spoken to him in months. We ran into each other in the drugstore, and we got to talking about school. He wanted to talk to Dad, and I didn’t see any harm since we’ve known each other for a while.”
“Yes,” Ava adds, trying to keep it casual. “He’s like family, kind of like you too.”
“I need to make a business call. Excuse me.”
The second he walks outside, my sister’s eyes widen with shock. She covers her mouth with her palm, shaking her head in disbelief.
“Ava, not now,” I beg of her. “I promise I’ll tell you everything, but for now, can you cover for me while I talk to Will?”
She nods, her mouth still open. “Yeah, go. But Millie, you know if the parentals find out, you’re both dead meat?”
I let out a sigh. “Yes, Ava. That’s the gray cloud forever hovering over us.”
