Nothing anyone could’ve said would’ve prepared me for my first few months of college.
It was even better.
Being surrounded by intellectual students who want to learn is vastly different from high school. Our lectures often turn into discussions I thoroughly enjoy, giving me a chance to interact with my peers on a non-social level.
I frequently find myself immersed in reading, and studying has become so much more challenging than senior year. At times, the pressure mounts, yet I quickly learned that I thrive on it. It pushes me to work harder, and if I want to make a career out of the law, I need tough skin and a strong work ethic.
Aside from Liesel, it hasn’t taken too long to make friends with those who have similar interests to me. We often have lunch together and hang out for coffee, which I despised before college life. Yet now, I can’t get through a day without it. It has become my staple diet when I’m unable to stop for a bite to eat. The coffee cart guy knows me on a first-name basis, and yes, he’s cute.
If there’s some social get-together in New Haven, we all go together, depending on our study schedule. All in all, my parents are pleased I haven’t found the “bad crowd,” who spends the entire time planning keg parties and getting laid.
Yes, I know who they are, and I just choose to avoid them.
But like anything, the good comes with the bad. I invariably find myself homesick, the nights being the hardest.
In times of need, I call Mom and just talk for hours about anything I can, missing the sound of her voice and needing her reassurance. Most of the time, I have questions about papers, though Dad helps me a lot with things I struggle to grasp. Surprisingly, our bond strengthened upon my departure.
Yet milestones pass like my siblings’ birthdays, makings it hard when I can’t be there in person. I plan to head home for Thanksgiving, having not seen my family in two months, and then to add to all of that, I miss Austin.
It’s Friday, a rare class-free day, and I opt to train it into the city. I take my phone out, texting Austin.
Me: Why does the train have this odd smell?
Austin: It’s called humans. It’s what happens when you leave your dorm room after studying nonstop.
Austin: So… have you recovered from last night?
A smile escapes me, the heat rising in my cheeks soon following. Thankfully, the seat beside me is empty. I stare out the window, reminiscing about last night. It started with flirtatious banter, then led to our clothes coming off and a very happy ending. Something we resort to of late since we were miles apart.
Me: If I weren’t on a train with strangers, I’d say round two?
Austin: You’re killing me…
Austin: Have you thought more about Thanksgiving?
Taking a deep breath, I don’t want to take too long to answer but also don’t want to offend Austin, given my plans with my family, something I hope he’ll understand.
Me: I have, and you know that I miss you, but I really need to see my family. Maybe you could drive here one weekend? It’s only five hours away.
I wait for a response, but it doesn’t come. This separation thing has been harder than expected, and although having sex bonded us in a way, it also drives a wedge between us at times. Physically missing someone is hard, and I’d be a fool to think we can go on like this for the next seven years. Austin has needs the girls at John Hopkins can easily fulfill. But even then, I choose not to end things, once again letting our relationship go through the motions to stand the test of time—separation.
The train pulls up into Grand Central Station. As soon as I exit, the city’s hustle and bustle greet me along with the fall breeze. Dressed in my jeans and wearing my long camel-colored coat, I chose to wear my Chucks, knowing I’ll be walking around the city, and the last thing I need is blistered feet.
The familiar blond-haired boy waves at me from across the exit. I run toward him, practically throwing myself at him in desperation.
“I missed you,” I mumble into his chest, holding onto him tightly.
“Missed you, too, Harley Quinn.” Andy chuckles while bringing up my long-lost nickname from when we were kids. I’d forgotten all about it and how they often referred to me as Harley Quinn because of my crazy shenanigans. Thankfully, I have outgrown this reckless behavior which should warrant scrapping the nickname for good.
I peel myself away from him, placing my hands on his shoulders. “How long do I have you for?”
“Four hours, then I’ve got a class.”
“You’re such a nerd,” I joke while grinning. “Have you been behaving?”
“Hmm…” He rubs his chin, and only now, I notice the slight stubble of the beard he’s growing. “Let’s walk and talk. Hot dogs for lunch?”
“Sure, lead the way.”
We exit on 42nd Street and head toward Bryant Park, stopping briefly to grab a hot dog and soda. Andy talks about campus life, his classes, his quirky roommate, and the group he hangs out with. We both immersed ourselves into college life, realizing just how much we have changed in only this short time.
“So, tell me what’s happening with the ladies?”
Andy shuffles his feet, looking uncomfortable.
“Why the face?” I ask, curious as to his change of expression. “It’s not like I asked you to swallow poison.”
“I… um,” he stammers, scratching the back of his neck. “I’ve dated a few girls but nothing serious.”
“Dated a few girls? That was fast. It’s only been two months. Are you sure you’re studying?”
“College girls are different… they are, how shall I put it?”
“Loose?”
Andy chuckles, biting into his hot dog. “I guess you could say that.”
“Argh,” I grunt, slumping into my chair. “Why is everyone having the time of their lives, and I’m arguing with a boyfriend over a text?”
“What’s the problem now?”
“The problem is over two hundred miles between us. This is harder than I thought.”
“Then break up with him. Simple.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Millie,” Andy says, crossing his arms while watching me. “Do you really think Austin is just sitting there and pining for you? Have you seen the girls in college?”
“Yes,” I drag, aware that beautiful women surround Austin. “But doesn’t love count for something?”
“Do you love him? Or are you just saying that because you lost your virginity to him?”
My eyes widen, my head turning abruptly. “How did you know?”
“Ava, but in her defense, I thought it happened too.”
“The two of you are a pain in my ass,” I complain, frowning. “I do love him, I mean, what I feel is more than just a crush. We’ve been together for over a year. I can’t just throw that away because it’s getting hard.”
Andy’s attention is pulled toward a bunch of pigeons fighting for a donut a little kid drops on the pavement. Moments later, he turns his head while creasing his brows.
“Millie, you have to be honest with yourself. Sooner or later, the two of you will grow apart. It’s only natural, I mean, how many high school romances do you know that lasted?”
“Well, Mom and Dad, for starters.”
Andy purses his lips. “Um… from what my mom says, they were apart for eight years, so that doesn’t count.”
I rack my brain trying to come up with an answer but fall short. Maybe Andy is right, but nevertheless, I don’t want to give up just yet. For as long as it feels right, I’ll fight for us.
“So, back to you and your dating life…”
Andy laughs beside me. “Not much to tell, Millie. It would be oddly gross if I went into detail.”
I shake my head, grabbing my soda bottle to throw into the thrash. “Where to next?”
“Museum of Metropolitan Art?” Andy suggests.
“Let’s go.”
We head toward the subway, spending the rest of our time walking around and commenting on all the art pieces on display. We often argue when our opinions differ but forget about it minutes later when we find ourselves laughing at something trivial.
The hours pass so easily, our fun coming to an end once again. Andy hugs me goodbye as he leaves for class. We agree to catch up for my birthday in a week, dinner in the city at a restaurant of my choice.
It’s a glorious day considering it is fall. The sun is out, a warm blanket on my face to cancel out the occasional cool breeze. I take my time walking through Central Park, admiring the surroundings and watching people as they go about their activities. The casual stroll is enjoyable until my legs grow tired from walking.
I stop by a small café, ordering myself a coffee and taking a seat to rest my legs. I recheck my phone, and still no message from Austin. As I’m just about to put my phone away, the phone rings with my Aunt Nikki’s name appearing on the screen.
“Why, hello there, favorite aunt of mine,” I greet jovially.
“If I were indeed your favorite, I’d have been visited by now,” she points out while I cringe at the lecture I’m about to receive. “A birdie told me you’re in the city today.”
“Yes, I am. I needed a study break.”
“Well, I insist you join us for dinner tonight. Rocky can take you home since there’s no chance in hell you’re taking a train that late.”
My lips flatten, knowing I have no choice. “Of course, sounds great.”
“Now, have you had a chance to visit Will?”
“Will? Uh no… I’m sure he’s busy with work.”
“Considering my son is a workaholic much like your dear old father, an impromptu visit wouldn’t hurt. Besides, I just spoke to him to try to convince him to come to dinner, but of course, he has some woman he probably has to pursue.”
I laugh at her comment. “A workaholic playboy, I’m sure Uncle Rocky is proud.”
“Don’t even start,” she growls, jokingly. “I’ll text you our address, and don’t forget to go see him. Someone needs to knock some sense into that man. Perhaps it’ll be you.”
“I highly doubt that, but sure, I’ll drop by his office in about an hour.”
Not long after we end our call, my phone beeps with all the details Aunt Nikki promised. The office building is all the way downtown, and despite my reluctance to visit Will since I haven’t seen him in forever, I hop on the subway and make my way toward his office.
The large silver building is tall amongst the older and historic buildings surrounding it. Rechecking the address, I enter the building and find the elevator.
Inside the confined area, I press the button to the twentieth floor when my phone pings.
Austin: I don’t know how long I can do this for.
Before the doors close, someone steps in, standing at the opposite end of me. My heart sinks at Austin’s text, my stomach feeling sick at the thought of us ending at this moment. The conversation with Andy comes to mind. Eventually, we’ll grow apart, but it’s too soon. Surely, we owe it to each other to at least try for a bit longer before we completely call it quits.
Biting down on my bottom lip, I hang my head, trying to ease the unwanted hardening of my stomach. I begin to type, only to erase the message. No matter what I want to say, it feels like it comes out wrong.
This is not how we should end.
Taking a deep breath, my eyes wander to the shoes and perfectly tailored pants beside me. The gentleman’s hand is tucked into his pants’ pocket, his watch notable as my dad has a similar one. His scent, a rather intoxicating aftershave, makes me want to check him out, but I keep my head down for fear of being caught.
The door pings on the nineteenth floor as he steps out, allowing me only to see the back of him. His tall stature, dressed in a business suit, is quite sexy. Perhaps I’ve been around college boys for too long—ripped jeans and T-shirts with crude slogans seem rather unappealing.
“If you’re here for an interview, which I assume you are, you may want to make sure you smile and not be caught on your phone.”
I lift my head as the door closes, unable to catch his face. What an asshole! I take it all back. Men, in general, are pigs. Right now, Austin is one of them since he can’t even make an effort to come see me and quite possibly is breaking up with me via text message.
When I exit the elevator, I ask the receptionist to use the restroom to freshen up. Inside the very clean and modern restroom, I stare into the mirror.
My hair has grown out this past year, the length falling past my bra strap. Running my hands through it, I tousle it to the side as I continue to glance at myself.
What the hell am I going to talk about? I haven’t seen Will since forever. I was a kid, no doubt tormenting him as I always did. We have such a big age difference. I think he’s close to thirty and most likely have nothing in common besides family. I can bring up his unstable love life at Aunt Nikki’s request, but wouldn’t that be awkward? As if he needs a nineteen-year-old girl giving him advice, well, almost nineteen in just one week.
Exiting the restroom, I wait in the reception area.
“Miss, you can wait in Mr. Romano’s office. He shan’t be long.”
I smile politely, admiring her British accent. They always sound fancy and educated no matter what they say.
Following her into the office, the glass windows with views of the city immediately catch my attention. It reminds me a lot of Dad’s office with an oversized glass desk and leather chair. Everything is strategically placed, and not a single thing looks out of place. From listening to my parents, I think he runs some tech companies and creates apps. I probably should’ve asked this, so I’d have something to talk about.
The sound of a voice echoes behind the door. “I don’t care what it takes, either wrap up the deal or consider yourself done.”
Ouch.
“You have until close of business tomorrow,” the voice continues, “Uh-huh… listen, I need to call you back.”
With my back toward him, I close my eyes then force a smile, spinning around. My eyes fall onto the leather shoes I saw inside the elevator, the ones that belonged to the asshole who commented somewhat prematurely on my phone behavior. Slowly, I drag my eyes upward past his navy-blue pants until I reach his belt, realizing my stare has lingered too long. I snap my head up until our eyes lock.
“Well, if it isn’t Miss Edwards.” His gaze is unwavering, making me slightly uncomfortable.
Will has changed so much since I last saw him, a man with very defined features and dark hair like his father’s. The style is modern and polished and not lathered in product like some men I know.
I don’t recall the strong jawline or how his cornflower blue eyes hold so much depth. He has aged so much, or perhaps being in the presence of a man in his thirties is vastly different to college boys I’m surrounded by all day long.
I’ve never seen him in a business suit, remembering the last time we saw each other, he must have still been in college, and his wardrobe consisted of jeans and tees.
“Living and breathing,” I answer, eager to ignore his elevator dig. “How have you been?”
“Quite well, and you?”
“The same.”
There’s a silence that follows us, prompting him to close the door and take a seat behind his desk. His stare continues to make me feel paranoid, and without trying to make myself obvious, I check my hair to make sure I don’t have something wrong with me. Worst yet, do I have something in my teeth? What does it matter, anyway? I’m sure Will’s seen my many nudie runs during my toddler years.
“It’s a lovely office you have here. It reminds me of my father’s.”
“That it is.”
His closed answer leaves nothing for me to continue with.
“Have you been here long?”
“About two years,” is all he answers, his annoying stare still making me self-conscious. “You know, you don’t have to be so formal.”
“I should hope not,” I blurt out, relieved at the break of tension. “I’m almost certain you dared me to eat a worm, which I did. Surely, that should count for something.”
He chuckles softly. “You always were a risktaker. And look at you now. I’ve heard you’re studying at Yale?”
“Yes. I had a free day, so I thought I’d visit the city…” I trail off, momentarily stumbling on my thoughts as his eyes wander to my lips. My heart beats loudly, but I must be imagining all of this. He’s just entertaining me because of obligation, and anyway, I should not be thinking about him in any other way. Austin’s text still leaves me wounded. That’s it.
“I don’t remember you being so speechless,” he follows with an arrogant smirk. “Little Miss Chatterbox from memory.”
“Things change… people change.”
His penetrating stare never leaves mine. “Why yes, they do…”
I glance at my phone. “Listen, I should probably go since you must have work to do.” I stand up, questioning whether I should hug him since he’s family. Perhaps, if I had done that at the beginning, it wouldn’t have been so awkward.
“The pleasure has been all mine, Amelia.”
My name rolls off his tongue with a delicious bite. Shit! What the hell is wrong with you? He’s family.
I take a deep breath, willing my actions to gain some sort of control since my imagination has turned into some overcharged sex maniac. This isn’t at all like me, it’s almost as if he brings out the ‘old’ Amelia, the one who didn’t care for consequences because she always pushed boundaries and limits. Perhaps, I can use this to my advantage. Say something to make Aunt Nikki proud that I’ve called her son out on his less-than-desirable behavior.
“It was nice seeing you again,” I offer with a smile, turning my back on him to leave the room, “Oh, and before I forget, that assistant out there, she’s quite nice. Maybe try to keep your dick in your pants, so you don’t lose another one.”
His expression falls, a look of anger as his eyes pierce into mine. I purposely keep walking with a satisfied smile.
One point for me.
And the best part of all of this, there’s no chance of him upping me since I won’t be seeing him anytime soon.
