I spend the next seven days with Penelope.
She goes to work during the day, or to see her dad in the hospital, so I surf with Levi, but the nights are ours. I still haven’t been to her house, but she’s made herself at home in mine.
I learned she’s a history aide at Luxington High – shadowing Mrs. Justice, who I have burning a hole in my schedule – and I haven’t found the balls to tell her I’ll be her student.
It’ll be more fun on the first day of school, I think.
Even though I’ve grown closer to her, I still have the need to be reckless in the back of my mind. There’s that part of me that likes it twisted and fucked up. I can’t help it.
It isn’t until the day before school starts that I grow nervous.
I’ve tried to give Penelope the smallest details about my life, avoiding her questions about a career or anything that could give away my reality. So far, I’ve been in the clear. I’m not ready to burst the bubble we’re in. I’m not ready to risk her walking away from me just yet. I want to hold on to the things she’s making me feel for as long as possible, and part of me knows that I’m doing it because I’m scared I’ll never feel it again.
After eighteen years of being depressed and numb, I’m clutching the happiness she’s giving me like my last dying breath.
Logan invites us all over for family dinner to say goodbye to summer break and welcome our senior year of high school, so I make up that I’m feeling under the weather when Penelope asks to hang out.
I pick up Levi on my way to Carson and Logan’s for dinner, and he grills me about where I’ve been every night this week for the whole ride over. When I park behind Carson’s Jeep, I unbuckle my belt and turn to face him.
“Don’t talk about any of that in front of them.”
“About what?” Levi questions.
“That I’ve been disappearing this week.”
He slaps my arm. “You know I wouldn’t, papi. I got your back.”
“Thank you.” I sigh. “I don’t need Logan after my ass tonight.”
“You gonna tell me where you’ve been going?” he asks, raising his brows.
“Not yet.”
He dips his head in understanding, and we get out of the car to head inside.
We’re hit with the smell of food the second we walk through the front door and find Logan’s dad sitting on the couch just inside. We all exchange hellos, and Levi and I make our way to the kitchen to find our friends.
Logan and Carson are both wearing aprons, rushing around the kitchen like a married couple.
“Dude, why the fuck are you wearing an apron?” Levi laughs, slapping Carson on the back as he passes by him to start lifting lids from the pots on the stovetop. Logan slaps his hands away, and he raises them in defeat.
I kiss Logan on the cheek, avoiding the tray of food she has in her arms. “How was Franklin?”
“Good,” she replies cheerfully. “Giuliana and I volunteered at the food bank. Thanks for the donation.”
I laugh. “The one you forced me to give you after I rented that yacht? Sure thing.”
Clapping hands with Carson, I check out his new haircut. Normally, his blonde locks are a wavy mess on top of his head like a surfer, but now he has it shaved at the sides and cut short on top. “New cut?”
“Football camp was hot as fuck. I couldn’t take it anymore.”
Logan kisses him on the neck as she passes by to head for the dining room. “I think he looks really sexy.”
“Oh yeah, I’m horny for this new look, C,” Levi adds, grinning playfully. He looks at me. “Daddy? Thoughts?”
Carson laughs. “Shut up, Valentino. Don’t get him started on that daddy shit again.”
“I haven’t called myself daddy for a while, do I need to bring it back?”
At the same time Carson says, “absolutely not,” Levi cheers in support.
We all laugh, and when Logan comes back, she starts directing us all around the kitchen.
We’re told to grab something and head for the dining room, and we’re all too whipped by our best friend to say no. Logan takes everything from our hands one by one, setting up the table with everything she’s prepared in the nicest way possible.
They made lasagna, garlic bread, and a little dish with chicken Alfredo for Levi, which is sweet since he doesn’t like marinara.
I sit down next to Logan, who is fixing a plate for Carson. “You made all of this?”
“Me and Carson.” She grins. “We’re working on our cooking skills so we don’t have to keep ordering in.”
Levi is already digging into his food, moaning around his fork, and he speaks with a mouth full of pasta. “Well, don’t stop, you guys did really good.”
We laugh, and when Logan has fixed a plate for herself and her boyfriend, I hold my empty plate out to her and wiggle my eyebrows. She snorts, sitting down and ignoring my extended plate. “Get a girlfriend, then maybe she will fix you a plate.”
I chuckle. “Dick.”
She grins around a mouthful of lasagna, and watches as I pile food onto my plate for myself.
When I’m seated again, and digging into my food, Carson swallows his mouthful and clears his throat to get everyone’s attention. “So.”
We all look at him and wait for him to say whatever it is that’s on the tip of his tongue.
“I was visited by the UCLA recruit while I was at camp. I guess he watched some of the scrimmages and thinks there’s potential for me to play over there next year.”
My brows go up, and Levi yells incoherently, spitting little bits of food over his plate.
Logan’s face is brightened by the biggest smile as she stares at the man she loves, pride swelling in her eyes.
“Does this mean we’re moving to California next year?!” Levi shouts, standing up and pushing his chair out so hard that it falls over.
Carson laughs, running a hand through his hair. “Well, we might be. You guys can come if you want.”
“Dude,” I say, slapping a hand on his arm. “That’s fucking amazing, C.”
Levi is still standing, and he shakes his hands in the air before he motions toward Logan to get her attention. “Lo, tell him that if y’all go to Cali, we’re going with you.”
Logan laughs. “Obviously, we want you guys to come with us. That’s why we’re telling you with enough notice for you to apply to UCLA.”
“Oh,” Levi says, turning around to pick up his chair. He sits back down and tucks himself back under the table. His face has fallen. “I won’t be able to get financial aid outside of North Carolina, since that’s the system I’m in. I won’t be able to go to school.”
“My mom will pay for it, Levi,” Carson says, and Levi clenches his fist around his fork.
“Absolutely not,” Levi snaps. “I’m not letting anyone pay for my college.”
“What if I use one of my dad’s cards? That way, it’s a win for both of us,” I suggest, shrugging as I take a bite of my food. “The bastard has enough money, he probably won’t notice.”
“No,” Levi says. “Just forget it. Sorry I made this about me, Carson. I’m really fucking stoked for you.”
“Levi…” Logan says sadly, and he shakes his head to cut her off.
“Enough. What else is new?”
I feel bad, of course I do, and I know that between Logan, Carson, and myself, we’ll find a way to get Levi out there with us if that’s where we go. We’re a family, and we’re going to stick together. I don’t have any concrete plans for myself, nothing past this year, at least. I figure I’ll graduate high school, then follow my friends wherever they go. I have no clue what I’m doing with my life, what my major will be if I decide to go to school, or what my future will look like – all I know is that I’m not losing my family.
“Giuliana has a boyfriend,” Logan says, speaking of her best friend from her hometown.
“Damn, bad news all around, huh?” Levi groans, stabbing his pasta with a fork. “That chick could punch me in the face, and I’d say thank you.”
I snort, and Logan shakes her head as she laughs.
We’ve only met Logan’s friends from Franklin a handful of times. They don’t like coming out to Luxington, and they typically feel the same way as Logan about the extravagance and over-the-top bullshit out here. But out of everyone, Giuliana is the one who’s been here the most, since she’s Logan’s best friend.
“You guys excited for school?” Logan asks, and we all collectively groan.
“C’mon, guys. Senior year!” she cheers. “We’re gonna have so much fun!”
I want to throw up.
I want to shrink down so small that my anxiety is forced to leave my body because there’s no more room for it. But, most of all, I want tomorrow to not be happening. I very well may lose Penelope after she finds out how old I really am.
That I’m eighteen.
That I’ve been lying to her since I met her.
That she’s been fucking a student this whole time.
