I wake up early the next morning under the thick down comforter on the bed in our hotel room. Rolling over, I watch Hayden sleep. He’s so peaceful, his bare chest rising and falling so calmly as he wanders through his dreams. One of his arms is thrown over his head, the other reaching across the bed and resting on my stomach, like even though he’s unconscious, he needed to be touching me.
His dark hair is a mess, knotted on his head from my fingers grabbing onto it last night while we fucked, and there’re red marks from my mouth and teeth covering his neck where I laid my claim. I want to paint this picture, cement it into existence, make it forever and keep it for myself. The tattoos that mark his pale skin, the scars on his arms from years of anxiety and depression, the mole that sits just under his collarbone – I want it all to be infinite, hanging on the wall of my mind and decorating my memories.
I slide a finger down his forearm, over the tattoo of a flock of birds that’s flying over his skin, skating over the dark lines and shadows of the Eiffel Tower that sits under them, down to his hand, where there’s a large rose from wrist to knuckle. I swirl my finger around the petals, then keep moving – to his fingers that are inked with black and white, the word DEVIL in thick lettering underneath different symbols.
Leaning down, I kiss along each letter one by one. D. E. V. I. L. Then I grab his other hand, kissing along the matching tattoo there that says ANGEL.
He stirs, rolling onto his side and sliding his arms around me to pull my naked body flush against his.
“What are you doing, baby?”
I smile against his neck, nuzzling my nose while I lift my legs and wrap them around his waist. “Just admiring.”
His hands squeeze my back, and he kisses my neck. “Why?”
“Because I want to.” I grin, and he chuckles. Pushing his shoulders, I roll him onto his back so I’m on top of him. “Now let me continue.”
Hayden smirks, resting his arms on the bed next to him, “Go ahead.”
I shuffle my body so I’m straddling him, and I kiss down his chest, over the tattoos there. His fingers grab onto the bed as my mouth ghosts over his nipple, and a tiny groan vibrates through his chest. I bite the sensitive bud, making him clench and hiss under me.
“P!”
Giggling against his skin, I release his nipple, then I continue to kiss down his chest and stomach. His cock is growing between us, turning to stone, and it makes me ache with need, but I continue my exploration, kissing around his hip bones to his thighs.
I slide down his body, running my hands over the matching set of butterflies he has tattooed just above both knees.
“Why do you have so many tattoos?” I ask, looking up at him through my eyelashes.
His chest is rising and falling quicker, and his eyes are burning me from above. “Why not?”
“Don’t you think one day you’ll regret them? You’re so young,” I muse, kissing the butterflies one by one.
He chuckles. “Okay, grandma.”
I slap his thigh, sitting up to look at him and he laughs.
God, he’s fucking beautiful when he laughs.
He sits up too, sliding his hands into my hair. “Are you done?”
I shake my head, pushing his chest so he falls back down onto the bed, then I lean lower to lick a line down his thigh. Wrapping my hand around the hardness of his dick, I suction my mouth around the head, gazing up at him. His mouth drops open, his hands digging into the bed again, then I take more of him into my mouth.
“Fuck,” he groans, and the sound has me releasing my hand so I can take down more of him. I gag when his cock hits the back of my throat, but I swallow around him and keep going, hollowing my cheeks to take him farther.
“Penelope,” he moans, sitting up and pulling me off.
“What’s wrong?” I question as he pulls me on top of him again. “It wasn’t good?”
“Baby,” he coos, kissing my lips a few times before he pulls back to look at me. “That isn’t it.” His thumb goes to my bottom lip. “Your mouth is fucking perfect. I just don’t want to do that.”
“You never let me give you head,” I point out, feeling rejected and insecure. “I don’t think you’ve ever let me for longer than a minute or two.”
He sighs, rolling us so we’re both on our sides and he’s facing me. “It isn’t enough.”
I pull back a little, my eyes flaring. “Excuse me?”
Shaking his head, he grabs my neck and pulls my face back to his. “That isn’t what I mean.” He sighs. “I just–”
He stops talking, and gazes into me. I feel my skin heating with embarrassment, and I want to pull away again, but I try to breathe through the feeling to give him a chance to explain.
“That’s not fucking good enough for you,” he says, his tone seemingly angry. “That’s what I always had people do when they didn’t mean shit to me, and you mean so much more than that. You deserve more than what I gave everyone else when I used them for a nut.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “So you’re just not going to let me suck your dick because you let everyone on the East Coast do it before we met?”
“Well, don’t say it like that.”
I laugh. “H, I want to make you feel the way you make me feel. I want to give you pleasure. I want you to use my mouth. It doesn’t have to be this big thing. You can use me and then tell me you love me, and it can be different than what you did to everyone else, because I’ll still be here in the morning.”
“I just want to give you more than that,” he whispers, looking into my eyes. “You’re worth more than that.”
I grin. “I have an idea.”
Before he can say anything else, I push on his chest so he’s lying on his back again and climb on top of him. “You trust me?”
He nods, and I smile before I turn around and shuffle my body up until I’m hovering over his face. Hayden’s hands grab the sides of my thighs, and he lifts his head so he can lick a line through my center, making me moan.
Bending myself down so I can reach his cock, I grab onto the thick length of him and pump my hand a few times before I suction my lips around him. He doesn’t protest, he just starts eating my pussy like he can’t help it, and I moan around where he’s filling my mouth.
My skin tingles with pleasure as he feasts between my legs, his hands squeezing my ass hard enough to bruise while I move up and down his dick with my lips. I hollow my cheeks, bringing him deeper into my throat, and he moans against my clit.
I’m so desperate for his orgasm that I don’t even realize my own building until it slams into me, making me shake and writhe against his face. I pull his cock from my mouth so I can yell into the room, and he licks my clit faster through my climax.
When I come down, he licks my entrance languidly, and I slide his cock between my lips again, aching and desperate for his cum. He groans, bucking his hips up into me. “Baby, I’m gonna come.”
I suction around him, moving my head faster until he’s spurting against my tongue and shouting behind me.
Swallowing down his release, I continue to take him into my throat. His thighs twitch under my chest, and then his tongue enters me, making me cry out around his cock.
When he’s done spilling, I pull back, licking him like a lollipop to gather the rest of his release.
“Come here,” he groans against my pussy, and I shuffle down until I can spin around and fall down next to him. He wraps the comforter around us, pulling my body against his. “I love you.”
I kiss his lips. “I love you.”
He grins, wrapping his hands around my waist to pull me closer. “I meant it when I said I want this forever, Penelope. You’re my forever.”
I look up at him, gazing into his dark eyes. “Me, too.”
“I want everything with you,” he says quietly. “I want to wake up with you every morning, put a fucking ring on your finger, give you my name, fill you with my babies, give you everything you could ever want.”
My stomach fills with butterflies, and I can’t think of anything to say in response. My mind rushes with anxiety, so I just kiss him. No one has ever said anything like that to me before, and the thought of how much he loves me has me desperate to hold onto him.
When we pull back, he looks into my eyes again. “Say you want that too. Tell me I’m not fucking crazy.”
I shake my head, my nose brushing his. “You are fucking crazy, H, but I do want that, and maybe that makes me crazy too.”
“You’re definitely crazy,” he says against my mouth.
We spend the first half of the day in bed, then take a shower and get ready for Hayden’s tattoo appointment.
We’re standing in front of the mirror, both of us wrapped in towels as we brush our teeth. When we’re done, Hayden drops his toothbrush in the cup and spits into the sink, then faces me. “Are you going to be mad if I take a Xanax today?”
I put my toothbrush down on the counter. “Why do you need to take a Xanax?”
“Because it’ll make the tattoo hurt less.”
I roll my eyes at him. “I’m not sure there’s logic behind that.”
He laughs, pulling me by the hips toward him. “I always take a Xanax before I get a tattoo because I don’t want to be all shaky and anxious. Is that okay?”
I sigh, not wanting to argue. “Do what you want.”
He kisses me on the cheek. “I’m not gonna get fucked up, just want to take the edge off.”
“Okay, Hayden,” I say, stepping out of his hold and heading back into the bedroom. “If that will make you feel better.”
He follows behind me and sits down on the bed to watch me dig through my duffel bag, and when I look at him, he pulls the towel from around his waist and runs a hand through his wet hair. His dick is standing hard, and he runs a hand down it. “Come sit on daddy’s dick before we go.”
I hum between my lips, lifting a brow as I step toward him. “Why don’t you put on a show for me, H.”
He fists his cock, his eyes dropping a fraction as he succumbs to waves of pleasure. “That’s what you want, baby? You wanna see how I fuck myself when I think about you?”
I nod, smirking at him as I undo the twist on the side of my towel to drop it to the floor. When I’m bare before him, he groans and moves his hand faster.
“Come here, P,” he groans, spreading his legs a little. “Come sit on top of me.”
I step up to him, then climb over him so my legs are straddling his on the bed. Watching as he moves his fist over his dick, I moan as wetness pools between my legs.
“Touch yourself,” He orders, his head dropping forward. “Use your fingers to play with that sweet pussy.”
I shake my head, watching as precum leaks from the tip of his cock, and my mouth drops open as I start to breathe heavier. When I don’t move to touch myself, he grabs my hand and moves it between my legs for me.
“Fuck yourself.” He twists his fist around his cock harder. “I wanna see you come all over your own fingers.”
I moan as my fingers slide into my pussy, over my clit and to my entrance, then I plunge two inside.
“Fuck, that’s so hot,” he grinds out, fucking his hand faster. “Ride your fucking hand on my lap.”
I cry out as pleasure washes over me, and I roll my hips against my fingers. “Hayden.”
He jerks himself hard and fast. “Look at me, give me those eyes. I want to watch you fall apart.”
I find his gaze burning, and my core lights up for him. Grinding myself faster, I feel my orgasm blossom in my center, and I moan loud and long.
“Hayden,” I whimper, curling my fingers to stroke against my G-spot. “I’m going to come.”
Moving his fist faster, he moans and flexes his hips. “Come on then, baby. Come all over your fingers so I can have a taste.”
I buck my hips at the same time he does, and we both go off the edge of our climaxes, moaning and groaning as we stare into each other’s eyes. He fucks into his fist so hard that the entire bed shakes, and I squeeze his thighs between my own as I roll against my hand.
His cum coats his fist and stomach, and my own is dripping down my hand as we both come down, then he’s grabbing my wrist and pushing my soaked digits between his lips and down his throat.
Hayden’s chest heaves, but he sucks my fingers until they’re clean.
When he’s done, he lets them slide between his lips again, and he grins at me, nodding his head to his messy abs. “You gonna get down here and clean this up for me?”
Sliding to the ground, I lick over his thighs and stomach until all his cum is cleaned off, then I swallow it down and grab his hand. I lick that clean too, savoring the salty taste of his release while he watches me from above. His hand wraps around my jaw when I’m done, and he smiles at me. “You’re so good to me.”
I turn my head and kiss his hand, then I stand up. “Now get ready, we’re going to be late.”
We get to Hayden’s cousin’s tattoo shop a half hour late, and figure we might as well stand outside and smoke a cigarette before we go in – we’re late anyways, right?
When we’re halfway through our smokes, the front door for the tattoo shop opens, and a guy walks out. He’s a carbon copy of Hayden, all dark hair and tattoos, except his eyes are lighter and he has an extra fifty pounds of muscle.
“Hey, bitch boy,” the guy yells. “You think I’m just gonna sit around and wait for you? I have other shit to do today.”
Hayden laughs, walking over and embracing the guy. “Sorry, Trav. Figured I’d have a cigarette before you torture me.”
When they pull away from each other, Hayden holds a hand toward me and I grab it. “This is Penelope.”
I smile, and his cousin extends a hand. “Hey, nice to meet you, Penelope. I’m Travis Monroe.”
I shake his hand, smiling as nerves take over my body, making it impossible to think of something to say in response.
“You gonna get a tattoo today, too?” Travis asks me, and I laugh, waving him off.
“Oh, no. I’m just here for support.”
“Well, c’mon then. Liv is inside. You can hang out with her while I make your boy bleed.” Travis laughs, slapping Hayden on the shoulder.
I’ve never seen Hayden light up so much; the smile on his face is something I don’t recognize. Sure, he’s happy as hell when we’re together, but this is different. It’s similar to the look I get when I’m with my parents sometimes, a different type of happy that just feels complete.
I slide my fingers between his as Travis leads us inside, then I follow them into a room in the back. There’s a dark-haired girl sitting on the couch in the corner, a pair of Beats over her ears while she scribbles something in a notebook. When she sees us come in, she jumps up, pulling the headphones off.
“Hayden!” she greets my boyfriend, grabbing him for a hug. “Good to see you back in the 2-1-2!”
He chuckles, pulling from her embrace. “Good to see you, Liv.”
“Pretty girl,” Travis says, holding a hand out for her. “This is Hayden’s girlfriend, Penelope.”
“Girlfriend?!” the girl says, her green eyes going wide as she looks at Hayden. “You? A girlfriend?!”
We all laugh, and the girl steps toward me to give me a hug. “I feel like I’m meeting a famous person.”
When she pulls back, she smiles at me. “I’m Olivia.”
She’s gorgeous, even without a spot of makeup on her face. Her long dark hair is wrapped into a bun on top of her head, and she’s wearing a dark dress that hangs just above her knees. “It’s nice to meet you, Olivia.”
“Alright,” Travis says as he walks over to his desk. “What’re we doing today, Hayden?”
“C’mon,” Olivia says as Hayden walks away too. “Let’s sit down. They’ll be busy for a while.”
Three hours later, the sound of Travis’s tattoo gun is starting to annoy me.
Olivia is doing something in her notebook, and Hayden is face down on the table while Travis inks his lower back. I’ve gone through a half dozen cigarettes already, scrolled every social media app known to man, and bitten my nails to shit.
“How much longer do you think they’ll be doing this?” I whisper to Olivia, who laughs under her breath.
“Last time Hayden came to town, they tattooed for two days straight.” She holds up her notebook. “I try to keep myself busy when I come to work with Travis.”
I nod, pursing my lips, and like some sort of miracle, at that moment, the sound of the tattoo gun shuts off.
“Done,” Travis says. “Let me just clean you up and you’re good to go.”
I stand up, eager to see what Hayden has added to his growing collection of tattoos, and walk over to him.
He already had a large piece covering most of his back, but now it’s extended to just below his hips. There’s a huge portrait of a wolf, snakes wrapping around the decorative shading behind it, horns coming out of its head, and a quote underneath it in a skinny font.
ALL THE DEVILS ARE HERE
My breath gasps from my lungs, but my attention is pulled when Hayden looks up at me under hooded lids. “Could you go grab me some water from the lobby, P?”
I nod, spinning around and heading out of the room.
I find a minifridge next to the empty front desk and kneel down, pulling it open then grabbing a bottle of water. When I walk back to Travis’s office, I’m greeted by the sound of the tattoo gun again. Hayden is sitting up on the table, and Travis is focused on the area of his neck that he’s tattooing now.
“I thought you were done,” I say as I walk up, putting the bottle of water down on the table.
After another minute, Travis shuts off the gun again and grins at me. “Now I’m done.”
Hayden grabs the bottle of water and twists off the cap, turning his head to the side so I can see what he’s had inked on his neck.
On the side of his neck, just over his jugular is the letter P.
“You didn’t,” I breathe, grabbing his jaw to turn his head more so I can stare at it.
“I did,” he says, sliding his hands around the sides of my legs.
I study the small tattoo, and my gut churns with adoration. A small laugh escapes my lips, and I have the urge to kiss him all over. “I don’t know what to say.”
He smiles at me, and I get waves of happiness from my head to my toes. Nothing’s going to beat this feeling, the feeling of being loved by Hayden Monroe, being the first and only person he’s ever had this close. I’m… honored to be loved by him.
“You like it?” he asks, making little circles with his fingers on my thighs.
“I love it,” I say, leaning forward to kiss him.
“Last chance, Penelope,” Travis says, making me pull away from Hayden’s mouth to look at him. “You wanna get inked before I close up?”
I narrow my eyes in thought, I don’t have any tattoos, and the thought of getting one never really crossed my mind, but being here, in New York City, with my favorite guy and his family, there’s part of me that wants to commemorate the trip, the feeling, the moment.
“Fine,” I say, and Hayden’s face turns to confusion. I tap him on the thigh. “Go sit over there with Olivia. You can see it when we’re done.”
He laughs, but slides down from the table. “You sure about this?”
“I’m sure. Now get lost.”
His eyes narrow, but he walks across the room and sits down carefully on the couch next to Olivia so he doesn’t bump the fresh tattoo on his back. Travis makes work of cleaning up the area, changing the needle in his gun, and putting on fresh gloves. When he steps up to the table, he raises his brows at me. “What’re we doing?”
I lift my shirt, pointing to the spot underneath the band of my bra on my side, then I lean forward and whisper what I want into his ear.
He smiles when I’ve pulled away, then I sit down on the table and roll my shirt up.
Travis fills a little cup with fresh black ink, then turns on his tattoo gun and leans toward me. “Ready?”
I nod. “Go.”
The first touch of the needle against my skin makes me want to pull away, but I keep my body still. It feels better than I thought. I imagined intense pain that I wouldn’t be able to handle, but Travis has a light hand, and it almost feels like he’s just scratching my skin.
A few minutes go by, and then he turns the gun off. “Done. Let me just clean you up.”
He sprays some liquid on a paper towel and brushes it over my sore skin, then steps away and throws it into a trashcan.
Hayden stands up. “Can I see?”
I nod, using a finger to instruct him to come closer. He walks across the room, and I turn my body so he can see the fresh tattoo of the letter H on my ribs.
“Penelope,” he breathes, wrapping a hand around my waist and squeezing.
“You like it?” I blink up at him, a small smile touching my lips.
He nods. “Now I really fucking own you.”
I chuckle. “You’ve always owned me, H.”
