The next time I wake up, Cole is sound asleep. I take a few seconds just to look at him. He’s always so dark and tense-looking; I’ve never seen him so peaceful before. His face is easy, his full lips slightly parted. All of his muscles are loose and soft. His chest rises and falls slowly under my hand.
He’s beautiful like this.
I’m thirsty. I sit up slowly, careful not to jog him, and look around for one of the cans we drank from last night. I pick one up, but it’s empty. We need more snow. I carefully stand up, wincing at the soreness between my legs. It’s not a bad soreness, not really. In fact, I like the pinch. Even though Cole’s fast asleep, it’s like I can still feel him in me.
My mind flashes back to last night. I remember the way his hot hands cupped my breasts and shudder. God. I can practically still feel him on my skin. Heat flares through my belly, and I feel a little wetness touch between my thighs.
Jesus.
I don’t have time for this. We need water. And food. And I should probably light another one of those little heater things. I spot Cole’s thermal undershirt crumpled in the corner, and slip it on, along with my underwear and boots. Then I quietly zip myself out of the tent. The sudden rush of cold that rolls over my skin feels surprisingly good after being trapped in a tent for so many hours.
I cross to the mouth of the shack, already starting to shiver, and bend to scoop up some of the snow that has drifted in over the floor. A memory pops into my mind. Lying on my back as Eli rubs snow against my lips.
Maybe Cole would do that. Except, instead of my mouth, he could slip the melting snow into other places. Between my breasts, down my navel, on the insides of my thighs…
I fill up my can, fantasising. I’m so lost in my thoughts, it takes me a second to work out that something has changed. I step out of the shack, wide-eyed.
It’s stopped snowing. Everything is still. The sky is a very pale, clear blue, and the landscape in front of me is completely blanketed in white, several feet thick. All of the hedges and bushes have been covered. It’s like someone’s taken an eraser and scrubbed away half the mountain. The whole scene twinkles gently in the sunlight.
It’s beautiful.
“Daisy!”
I turn just in time to get barrelled into by a giant, naked mountain man. Cole grabs my waist. “Are you okay?” He asks, frantic.
“Look! It stopped snowing!”
His eyes don’t leave my face. “Are you okay?” He repeats, his voice rasping with panic. His hands smooth up and down my body, like he’s looking for injury. “I woke up, and you were just gone. I thought you’d left again.”
“I’m sorry, I was just—”
“For God’s sake,” he growls, pulling me into a bear hug that lifts me right off my feet. “The last time you disappeared, you almost died. Would it kill you to stay in my line of vision?”
“Sorry,” I say, chastised. “I was just getting water. But look! Does this mean we can go back to the house?”
He puts me back down and surveys the landscape, his expression calculating. “Yes. I’ll go back first, and then the others will come help you. Drag you over the snow on a sled.”
I scowl. “Oh, Hell, no. I can walk just fine.”
He sighs, shoulders slumping. “Fine. Get your clothes on.”
I blink. “That’s it? You’re not even gonna growl at me?”
“There’s no point. You’d just follow me, anyway.”
I pat his cheek. “Aw. Teddy. You’re really getting to know me.”
I’m dying to get back to the cabin—some part of me is terrified that the snow will start again, and we’ll be trapped even longer—but Coles insists that we eat something hot before we leave. After wolfing down a can of chilli and some freeze-dried coffee, we pack up the tent and all the equipment, preparing for the trek back to the house. Cole fusses over me like a mother hen, making sure I have enough layers, that my coat is zipped properly, that my scarf is tucked tightly around my neck. Eventually, I stop protesting and just let him have at it. I scared him. If this is what he needs to feel calm, I should let him.
It’s almost forty minutes until we step out of the shack. The sun is fully risen, now, and I have to squint over the glare that shines off the snow. We’re not too far from the house; only a hundred metres or so.
“Stay close to me,” Cole orders, gripping the strap of his pack.
I nod. He gives me one last check-over, then we plunge into the snow. It feels almost like swimming; so much has fallen over the night that it’s piled up to our waists.
Well. My waist. It’s only up to Cole’s thighs. He sees me struggling, and his mouth quirks.
“Why are you so small?”
“I shrank in the wash.”
“Come on.” He makes to pick me up, and I stumble back. “No! Your shoulder!”
“It’s fine. I don’t want you getting too cold.”
“I can make it,” I insist. He reaches for me again, and I glare at him. “Pick me up, and I’ll kick you in the dick so hard your balls fall out of your mouth.”
Sighing, he turns around and keeps ploughing on ahead. I follow him determinedly, sticking to the path that his big body clears through the thick snow. I can feel the energy leaching out of me with every step. The cabin gets closer and closer, and nerves start to twist in my stomach. I remember Riv’s face as he shouted at me. I shouldn’t let myself get excited. I’m not expecting a warm welcome.
Still, I can’t help the wave of relief that washes over me as I stumble the last few steps to the front door, leaning heavily on the wall. I’m shaking all over, sweating under my coats. I guess Cole was right about me still being weak.
“Do you have a key?” I gasp as he pulls up next to me.
“They will have left it unlocked for you.” He hikes his pack higher onto his shoulder, but doesn’t reach for the handle. I look up at him. “Open it,” he orders.
My heart beating in my mouth, I close my fingers around the door handle and push inside the cabin.
The two men are in the lounge, sitting silently at the dining table with mugs of something in front of them. They both look up as we step inside. Eli’s mouth falls open. Riven flinches like he’s been hit.
For a second, we’re all silent.
“I found her,” Cole says gruffly.
I give them a weak smile. I’m not sure what to say. Surprise? Sorry I almost died? My dramatic exit got interrupted, can I stay here a couple of days until I can try again?
“You look like a birdhouse,” I tell Eli. He shuts his mouth, standing suddenly, and crosses the room in a couple of long strides. I yelp as grabs me around the waist, pulling me off the ground and into his arms.
“Don’t do that,” he orders, burrowing his face into my hair. “Fy fan, vad jag älskar dig. Don’t ever do that again.” He presses his lips to my forehead. He’s breathing fast and jerkily, like he can’t get the air in. His eyes are red. He’s been crying.
I close my eyes, breathing in the soft pine scent of him. “Did you see the video?” I whisper.
He pushes hair behind my ear. “The first few seconds. We stopped it as soon as we realised what it was.”
“I didn’t know he was recording—I… I…” I take a deep breath, the words drying up in my mouth.
“Her ex took the video, and put it online as blackmail to get her back,” Cole says flatly. “She goes by her middle name to stop people from seeing it.”
Trust him to be able to summarise the worst event of my life in two sentences.
“Oh, baby.” Eli starts kissing frantically down the side of my face. “For God’s sake, I don’t give a fuck about your name, or the video, or anything else.”
A chair scrapes across the floor. I pull away to see Riven heading out of the room.
“Riv,” I start, reaching for him, but he just shakes his head, leaving. I watch him go, my heart sinking. Cole mutters something I don’t understand, then disappears too. It’s just me and Eli, holding each other in the middle of the lounge. He touches his knuckle under my chin and nudges my face up, his green eyes burning into mine.
“You’re okay?” He asks, his voice husky.
I nod. “I’m okay.”
I gasp as he kisses me, hungry and desperate and strong. His hands rove all over my body, like he can’t believe he still gets to touch me. “Baby,” he mumbles against my lips. “Don’t do that again. I can’t lose you. I swear, my heart stopped.” He grabs my hand and presses it to his chest. I can feel his heart battering away in his ribcage. “God, I fucking love you.”
“I love you, too,” I say. I don’t even have to think about it. I know it’s true.
He winces, pulling back slightly. “Don’t—you don’t have to say that, Tink.”
I narrow my eyes. “You think I’m lying?”
“Nooo,” he says, drawing the word out. “But. Me?”
“Is it so hard to believe?”
He runs a hand through his hair, ruffling his curls. “Usually, girls prefer the others. I’m more of a… good time, than a serious commitment.”
I reach up and cup his unshaven cheek. He turns into my touch, rubbing his lips against my fingers. “I think I love all of you,” I say quietly.
There’s no I think about it. I know I do. I just don’t know what the Hell to do about it.
He makes a soft noise in the back of his throat and pulls me in for another kiss. This time it’s gentle and lingering, almost unbearably tender. As our lips press together, a warm glow starts in my belly, heating me like a shot of cognac. I whine when he pulls away, stroking a hand down my arm. “I know, baby,” he murmurs, “But you’re frozen. Let’s get a shower.”
Before I can protest, he wraps his arms around my waist and lifts me up off the ground, carrying me bridal-style to the bathroom.
I shove his chest. “I can walk.”
“Well done.”
“Put me down.”
He gives me a little shake. “I thought you were dead, woman. I need to fuckin’ hold you.”
I shut my mouth. He carries me into the shower, then strips us both off and comes in with me. I’m expecting some wandering hands, but he doesn’t try to grope me at all; just lathers up soap in his palms and helps to wash me down. I think he just wants to keep touching me. The water streams down my back, hot and steaming, and I shiver as he gently massages shampoo into my scalp.
After I’m clean and dry, snuggled up in his hoodie, he heats us both up some leftover stew and pulls me into his lap on the lounge sofa. He sets up a movie on his laptop, but neither of us really watches it. We’re just pressing ourselves into each other, breathing each other in. The crackling fire slowly warms my skin as his hands draw slow circles across my thighs and back.
I push back his auburn curls. “I love you,” I tell him again. His eyes close. His arms tighten around me.
“You’re so fuckin’ special,” he grates out, rubbing his rough cheek against mine.
“You, too.”
He takes a deep breath, like I’ve knocked the air out of his chest. I know how he feels. I don’t feel like I have enough breath in me, either. The fire spits in the grate, and I curl up in his arms like a cat, bathing in all of the love he’s wrapping me up in.
I don’t know if I’m going to be allowed to stay here. I don’t know if Riven will come back in and kick me out any minute. But right now, I’m happy. And that will have to be enough.
