The air ripples with a fatal type of tension, one that suffocates and throttles, one that confiscates not only air but also common sense.
Although a significant distance separates me from Kyle, it’s like he’s wrapping his fingers around my throat and backing me against the wall.
Is having a child with me such a tragedy?
Why did he say those words with that dead tone? Why does he feel close and far away at the same time? I’m still not over the rejection from when we sat down for dinner or in the car. Strange emotions I’ve never felt before slam into me all at once and from all directions.
“What are you talking about?” I ask slowly, almost fearfully as I face him.
He pushes off the door and staggers toward me. His voice is sobering up a little, but he’s still obviously drunk. “Isn’t that why you’re getting rid of it?”
“I just…” I trail off when he stops in front of me. He’s larger than life, and I still stop and stare whenever he’s this close. The smell of alcohol wafts off him in waves that hit me in the nostrils. He’s definitely wasted.
He stares down on me with half-droopy, sexy eyes. Their blue, however, appears dark and deep, almost depressed. “You just want to get rid of it?”
“That’s not—”
“Fine.”
“F-Fine?” How can it be fine?
“Yes, fine. Do as you wish.”
“I don’t need your permission.”
“I’m well aware of that.”
God. His meek tone is getting on my last nerve. But instead of shouting and getting in an argument this late, I rein it in. “Let’s talk in the morning when you’re sober.”
“One last time.”
“What?”
“Let me have you. One last time.” He grabs me by the nape and lowers his lips to mine. At first, his kiss is slow, sensual, but then it intensifies, tongues clashing and his lips devouring mine. It’s almost…desperate.
And I share that desperation. He’s kissing me after he rejected me—twice. I probably shouldn’t be feeling this way since he’s drunk, but my emotions seem to be scattered all over the place, and this is the only right thing in my reality.
Kyle lowers the zipper of my dress and slides it down my arms with frantic movements. It pools at my feet, leaving me in only my underwear.
He unclasps my bra with expert deft fingers, and I gasp as they brush against my breasts.
“Fuck, baby. You’re so beautiful.” He lowers his head to latch onto a nipple and I arch my back, head rolling. The feel of his stubble on my breast creates unbearable friction. My nipples tighten into hard buds as he bites down and sucks on them with a ravenous rhythm.
Beautiful. I smile internally. He thinks I’m beautiful.
The rejections from earlier aren’t important, after all. They meant nothing.
I hold on to that idea as I try to undo his belt, but I’m not fast enough and my movements are clumsy at best. I was never good with this type of stuff, but I want to be. For him, I want to give back as much as I take.
Kyle tries to take over the task, but I shake my head, my voice too wanton for my own ears. “Let me.”
Steadying my hand, I finally finish unbuckling the belt. He kicks the pants and his boxer briefs away. I reach for his buttons, but I barely undo the first two before he rips at his shirt, sending the buttons flying everywhere.
I swallow as his sculpted chest comes into focus. This view will never get old.
Kyle places two fingers under my chin and lifts my head, breathing harshly as his eyes clash with mine. They’re raw and intense, and I’m not sure I like what I see there. Behind the lust, there’s a sense of sadness that I want to eradicate.
I palm his cheek, my ragged breathing matching his irregular one. “Kyle, I—”
He flattens a finger on my lips and shakes his head once. “Don’t ruin it. Not today.”
His middle finger glides against my panties, and I shudder before he lowers the cloth down my legs. I willingly step out of them as he slides his middle and ring finger into my pussy, and I briefly close my eyes as I soak him in for a fraction of a second. I’ve been yearning for his touch since we were in Reina’s house. No, it was ever since I woke up this morning and didn’t find him beside me.
My legs shake, hardly able to carry me any longer. As if he can feel it, Kyle wraps an arm around my waist, anchoring me in place as he thrusts his fingers inside me and teases my clit. My head drops against his shoulder as tingles erupt all over my skin.
I don’t last long—not even a minute—before the orgasm drags me down in its clutches. It doesn’t matter that he’s drunk; Kyle knows my body more than I ever will, and I guess I got used to that. I got used to how easily he wrenches pleasure and feelings out of me.
I’m still riding the wave when he backs me up, then flips me over and pushes me down. I’m on my knees on the carpet, but before I can react to the positioning, he lowers me further. My breasts brush on the carpet, the soft surface hardening my nipples more.
What…?
I’m lying completely flat on the carpet with my back to him. I stare back at him as he yanks open his drawer. I think he’ll bring out a toy, but I should’ve known better. Kyle might like to torture me with them, but he doesn’t like them involved during actual sex. I prefer him to them, anyway.
He retrieves a bottle of lube and a condom, and doesn’t bother to close the drawer. Wait. A condom? Kyle never used them so I didn’t even know he had one.
Besides, what’s the use of a condom when he’s already gotten me pregnant?
He takes his time removing his shirt, revealing his hard muscles and the tattoos rippling on his abs. I don’t dare look away or move. I feel like I’ll be missing something crucial if I do.
Kyle throws his shirt away and stalks behind me like a hungry predator about to devour his prey. I follow him with my gaze until he kneels between my parted legs.
He places a hand under my stomach and lifts me up so that I’m slightly bent over on my knees. The position is different from anything we’ve done before, and that says something considering he’s taken me in all positions possible.
Or so I thought…
Kyle parts my ass cheeks, and a cool liquid meets my back hole. It feels soothing against my heated skin. I’m still in the aftermath of my orgasm, so any touch feels like an aphrodisiac. Or maybe it’s because Kyle is doing it.
“I’m going to fuck you in the arse then in your pussy, then I’m going to do it all over again.”
My thighs clench at his words, but I don’t get to ponder them much before he thrusts the liquid lube inside my back hole with his finger.
The sensation is surprisingly pleasurable, tender even. I clench my hand into a fist on the carpet. He adds another finger, and I wince at the intrusion. Pain mixes with pleasure as he pours more of the lube.
But it’s not enough. It doesn’t feel like enough.
“P-put it in,” I moan.
“Put what in, Princess?”
“Your…cock. Just put it in.”
“It’ll hurt.”
“Let it hurt.” I want the pain right now and the sense of unbound pleasure that comes with it. Because with Kyle, it doesn’t feel like only pain, it’s the joining of our bodies and souls in one unified connection.
My husband’s fingers leave my ass, and I hear the tearing of the condom packet before something bigger and harder nudges at my entrance. I grab the carpet for balance as he pushes in the first inch.
Holy. Shit.
I think he’s going to tear me in half. How the hell did I even take this size in my pussy in the first place?
I’m barely able to catch my breath when he pushes in again.
“Aaaah…” I bite down on my hand. “Mmmm…”
“You know what?” Kyle’s fingers dig into my hip, the one he’s been lifting me with, and he powers inside in one go. “Fuuuck.”
I can almost see stars in my blackened vision. The pain is real. It’s even more real than when he takes me roughly from the front. The feeling of being completely filled takes over all my senses. It’s like we’re joined in a way that will never be the same again.
“Breathe,” he grunts from above me. His body covers mine as he opens my mouth with two of his fingers. “Fucking breathe, Rai.”
It’s then I realize, in my attempt to keep feeling the mixture of sensations going through me, I’ve been holding my breath. My eyes must be bulging out, tears gathering in them. Using Kyle as an anchor, I suck in deep gulps of air. The oxygen burns my starved lungs and shoots a new rush of life into my system.
“That’s it…” He starts moving while his body is still covering mine.
Bursts of pleasure pool at the bottom of my stomach and expand through my whole body. I writhe underneath him even though my trembling knees barely keep me in position. The harsh floor stings so good, adding to the sparkles exploding throughout my entire body.
Kyle grabs me by the back of my nape and thrusts with a force that leaves me breathless. He nearly pulls out, then he rams all the way in again, filling me, stretching me, eliciting a sense of pleasure I’ve never experienced before.
I have to remind myself to breathe so I don’t choke like I always do when it gets to be too much.
He’s taking me against the floor without holding anything back, and it’s strangely passionate and erotic and…true. I’ve always felt like he shows his true self when he is close to me, when he has no other way to go but toward me.
I chance a glance at him over my shoulder. He’s so big at my back, like a god of sorts. His thrusts are long and deep, and his expression still has that sense of sadness that I want to erase.
Just looking at him drives me over the edge. This orgasm is stronger than any I’ve had before. It starts in my ass and explodes in my pussy, then all the way throughout my whole body.
My elbows and knees are unable to hold me, so I fall flat on the floor. Kyle holds me upright, a hand under my stomach and the other on my hip as he pounds harder and faster inside me. He’s holding himself on his knees, his body rising then falling down with the force of his thrusts.
I think he’ll come soon, but he doesn’t. He pulls out and flips me on my back, removing the condom and tossing it away. The floor is harsh on my skin, but I don’t care about that as my eyes meet his.
We’ve always had a weird type of connection. The type that’s a bit unhinged, a bit sick, but it’s also the type that brings peace to chaos. The type I want to sleep cocooned in every night and wake up to every morning.
“One more time.” He thrusts into my pussy in one brutal go. Feeling him bare inside me is so freaking good.
My orgasm that hasn’t really ended bleeds into another one. Shit. I’m so stimulated that only penetration is able to drive me over the edge.
“Kyle…oh…Kyle!”
“One more time.” He picks me up so I’m sitting on his lap and drives deeper and harder, sucking and nibbling on my nipples at the same time. He touches me with urgency I’ve never experienced before as if he can’t get close enough or touch me deep enough. Bursts of pleasure explode on every inch of my skin until it gets too hot, too sweaty. Too…much.
Kyle doesn’t come inside me. He doesn’t come. Period.
He continues to fuck me on and on until I come over and over again. He doesn’t soften inside me. If anything, he keeps getting harder and thicker. It’s like he’s made it his mission to make me orgasm. I come so many times I lose count. I’m sobbing at some point at the amount of stimulation attacking my body from all directions. I’m a sweaty, crying mess, and the sick part is that I don’t ever want this to end.
Kyle is touching me. Unlike the rejections from today, he’s fucking me like a madman, unable to stay away.
By the time his cum fills my insides, I don’t know whether it’s a dream or reality. I think I blacked out at some point, so it could be either.
Soft lips brush against my forehead and I moan. “Mmmm.”
“I missed you before, and I’ll miss you now.”
I missed you, too. I try to say those words, but my energy fails me.
Tomorrow. Tomorrow we’ll talk and I’ll tell him I’m not aborting.
I’ll tell him I want us to have the family neither of us had before.
Kyle, the baby, and me.
A smile grazes my lips as I imagine that scene before I drift off to sleep.
