AFTER FOUR HOURS, countless phone calls, and pointless driving around town, I finally get the address I’ve been desperate for since Colt drove away from the trailer park.
Abby St Clair, Vee’s best friend.
While Cody and Colt got all our friends on high alert, asking everyone to track Abby down, I’ve left no fucking stone unturned. We’ve been to The Well, the newsagent she works at, the beach, the arcades, and every other place she ever mentioned.
But she was nowhere to be found.
My chest feels so tight it might fucking choke me. I know something’s terribly wrong. Whether her father’s hatred of me drove Vee away or something else entirely, she’s alone while she should be with me. She’s dealing with whatever happened without my arms around her, and that won’t fucking cut it. Ever.
My foot jitters nervously as Conor pulls up outside Abby’s apartment complex. I know this street. I was here when all the Hayes brothers moved Cassidy’s things out of her flat two years ago.
Abby lives further down the street, but the building is almost identical. Outside and inside, too. The same dark-red, cheap carpet in the hallway, the same numbered doors on either side and even the same ceiling lights emit an ugly yellow glow, highlighting dirty walls that haven’t been painted in decades.
Despite the wait in the car order I barked, my brothers follow suit, keeping a safe, three-step distance when I stop at the door where a number eight is glued with too much glue.
Shaking the tension off my limbs, I push my contradictory emotions aside for now. There’s a shift in the air. An intense impression of danger prickles my skin kicking the rhythm of my heart into high gear.
I just want to see her.
Check that she’s okay, that we’re okay. I want to lock her in my room and hold her all night, but the nerves strangling my stomach hint it might not happen.
The door opens after three knocks and a girl roughly my age appears, arms folded over her chest, blond hair swishing around her shoulders.
“Conor Hayes,” she drawls, looking me over. “My, my… to what do I owe the pleasure?”
“I’m looking for Vee. Is she here?”
She cocks an eyebrow, clearly taken aback. “No, why? What happened? Did you guys fight?”
“Nothing happened. We’re fine, but I can’t find her. She’s not home, and her phone’s off. Any idea where she might be?”
An unworried shrug betrays her, even though her words sound genuine. “If she’s not at home, work, or here, she’s with you, so I have no idea where she might be.”
Too casual.
She’s acting way too fucking casual about this. If my best friend had gone AWOL, I’d be more concerned. I’d dig deeper, ask more questions, but Abby stands there like she believes her answer should satisfy my curiosity.
“I need to talk to her,” I say, stepping forward.
So does she, trying to barricade the doorway. “Well, I don’t know what to tell you,” she seethes, emphasizing every next word, “…but she’s not here.”
“You can keep saying that, or you can save us both time and let me in.”
Her stance hardens as she shields the entrance with her body, bracing both hands against the doorframe. “She doesn’t want to talk to you, okay? She’s fine, but she needs space.”
“Abby, we’ve not had a chance to meet, so I’ll give you a quick rundown. I’m not usually an asshole, but I’m losing my fucking head here, so I’m sorry about this.” I grip her waist and push her back hard enough that her elbows bend, forcing her to let go of the frame. Not hard enough to hurt her, though. “You won’t win with me,” I say when she shoves me back. “Stop fidgeting. I’m not leaving until I talk to her.”
“I’ll take it from here.” Colt steps inside and takes Abby by her arm. “We’ll wait outside while they talk, sweetheart. You can tell me all about yourself.”
“What is it with you and girls whose names start with A?” Cody muses when Colt drags Abby out to the corridor.
“Stop manhandling me!” she whines, then looks over her shoulder. “I’m sorry, babe!” she yells, loud enough for the whole building to hear. “I couldn’t stop them!”
She’s not struggling against Colt, her eyes sparkling, lips falling apart in a soft gasp when he wraps an arm around her, holding her close to his side.
“We’ll wait here,” Cody says, reaching to close the door when I step further into the small space.
It’s tiny. I forgot just how fucking tiny these places are, nothing more than a kitchen slash living space and two doors either side. A bedroom and a bathroom.
According to Colt’s friend who got us the address, Abby lives with her parents. How they manage is beyond me. My bedroom is bigger than this entire flat.
In Cassidy’s apartment, the bathroom was on the right, bedroom on the left. I take a step to where I think I’ll find Vee and stop when she emerges first.
My stomach drops faster than a lead weight in a pool. She’s been crying. A lot, judging by the web of tiny red veins in her eyes. Traces of mascara smear down her cheeks, and her hair is a mess of tangles and loose locks.
“Fuck,” I breathe, the capacity of my lungs decreasing. “What happened, baby?” I can’t stand her tears. The thought she’s been so vulnerable, alone, has the fine hairs on my neck standing to attention. “Why were you crying? Why didn’t you call me to come get you?”
She sniffles pathetically, pulling her lower lip between her teeth as she holds her hand out, silently keeping me at a distance. “You should leave.”
“What? I’m not going anywhere.” I take another step closer, reaching out to grab her, but she staggers back, shaking her head.
“Please, Conor. You need to go.”
No way in hell I’m leaving. I take another step, and she reacts exactly the same.
She’s moving away from me… fuck.
She could slap me, and it wouldn’t hurt as much as her refusing to let me touch her. “Stop,” I plead, my hands growing cold, my back arrow straight. “Fuck, baby… stop. If you take one more step away from me, I’ll lose my fucking mind. Just stop, okay? Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
She wipes her nose with her sleeve, almost choking on her tears as she looks up, meeting my eyes. “We’re over.”
My ears fill with high-pitched ringing. “What? What the hell do you mean? We’re not over.”
“We’re done,” she says louder, quivering like a lost pup. Fresh tears twinkle in her eyes, the sight turning my stomach. “I can’t be with you.”
“We’re not over, Vee. No way. Whatever happened, whatever the fuck your dad said, I don’t care. We’re not done. You’re mine, and you don’t get to throw this away without telling me what’s wrong, without trying to fix it.”
“It can’t be fixed,” she whispers. “Please… go, okay? I don’t want you here. I don’t want to be with you.”
“Don’t say that,” I snap. “Don’t fucking lie to me. Tell me what happened!” She doesn’t mean it, I know she doesn’t, but it still hurts that she’s so determined to shove me away. “You love me. You’re happy with me.”
“I never told you I love you. I don’t.”
“Bullshit.”
“It’s not bullshit!” she snaps, swiping her tears away. “I told you we’d never work! I told you we’re too different, Conor.”
“Jesus, this about money again? You’re unbelievable, Vee. What the hell do you want me to do? Donate it to charity? Burn it? Will that make you feel better? Will you be happier then?”
Tiny rivers spill free, trailing down her pale cheeks when she looks up, so much distress in her eyes I can fucking taste it.
“I cheated. I told my dad about us. He wasn’t happy. He said we won’t last, and I went out for a drink to calm down,” she mutters, words falling from her lips at the speed of light, each breaking a little more than the previous. “A guy was there, and… he made me feel… normal. Like I belonged. I didn’t worry about my car or where I come from, and…” She pushes a sharp gust of air past her lips. “He fucked me in the restroom.”
The whole time she’s ranting, I watch her chapped lips move and wonder how much she’s cried since last night. How many times did she chew her lips to leave them this sore?
I hear the words she speaks loud and clear.
Every single fucked-up word.
She met someone. Likes him because he’s broke. Fucked him for the same reason.
“Who do you have me for?” I ask when she falls silent.
Closing the distance between us, I wait for her to back away, but she doesn’t this time. Of course not. She thinks she won. She thinks I’ll lash out, scream, and storm away.
“Goes to show how much you know me,” I add, taking her face in my hands. “I don’t believe anything that just came out of your mouth, Little Bee. Not one word. You’re pushing me away. I don’t know why, but that’s what you’re doing.” I pull her in, engulfing her in my arms as I kiss the top of her head. “You didn’t cheat.”
She doesn’t hug me back. She’s motionless, maintaining her composure, trying to trick her body into showing me she meant what she said, but she’s failing.
Her body stabs her in the back when she sags into me. Barely, just a little, but she does.
Gestures speak louder than words.
“I don’t know what happened, baby. I don’t know why you’re upset or why you’re lying, but I know you need space.” I push her away, every instinct rebelling against what I have to say next. I don’t want to, but it’s either that or making her talk when she’s clearly not ready. “I’ll give you time to think. I’ll be waiting when you’re ready to tell me the truth.” I kiss her forehead, curling my fingers under her chin. “I love you. There’s nothing you can say that’ll change that.”
More tears escape, but she doesn’t stop me from crossing the room toward the front door. Doesn’t say a word when I leave.
I hope to fucking God I didn’t just make the biggest mistake.
