Torn: Chapter 28

I’m sitting in the old creaky chair in my office at the shop, trying to make some sense out of all the financial spreadsheets the accountant threw at me.

I don’t understand numbers. Or profit and loss.

Neither did Pop, apparently.

I mean, I know what it is, but I don’t know how to fix it so I have more profit and less loss.

I haven’t taken a paycheck for myself in three months just so I could pay my brothers. I’m hungry and exhausted and worried.

I hear footsteps at the door and turn to see Asher standing there.

‘It’s midnight, Tor,’ he says.

‘I know.’

He comes in and throws a small brown paper bag and a white envelope onto my desk.

Looking up from my mess of papers, I ask him what it is.

‘Open them.’

Inside the paper bag is a steak and cheese sandwich, extra cheese, salt and pepper, with grilled peppers. It’s my favorite and my mouth is watering just from looking at it.

‘You didn’t have to do this, Ash.’

‘Oh yeah? Did you eat today?’

I bite into the sandwich and almost groan from how good it tastes. ‘No.’

‘Then yeah, I did have to do it. Open the envelope.’

Swallowing, I slice the envelope open with a knife and inside I find a check for fifty thousand dollars, made out to me. I stare at it, the zero’s blurring in front of me. I’ve never seen a check for this much money in my entire life.

‘What is this?’

‘A check.’ He leans back against the wall.

‘I can see that. For what?’

‘For you. To fix this mess you’re in.’

Shaking my head, I shove the check across my desk towards him. ‘I can’t take your money, Ash. I appreciate it, but I can’t.’

I take another bite from the sandwich, which I will accept. But not money.

‘You need the money, Tor. Don’t be stupid. It’s a loan from my inheritance. I don’t need it. My family wants to help you.’

Fifty thousand dollars would fix so much. I could get this place back in order, get out of debt, finally have a little money for myself again to eat and be normal.

‘Asher, I can’t.’

‘You can, and you will. You wrote the first songs that are making me money, Tor. You think I forgot that shit?’ He asks. ‘No, I fuckin’ didn’t.’

‘I get royalties. That’s enough.’

‘It’s not. Your father left you a business that was in a hole, man. He didn’t have any life insurance. For four years you’ve been working your ass off trying to take care of everyone and keep this business going. This shop can be great but you have to get out of the hole first or else you’re just spinning your wheels. I can’t watch you kill yourself anymore. Especially when I have the means to help you.’

‘Ash-‘

‘Shut up and take the money. My dad has a friend that’s a business and marketing consultant. He’s coming on Friday to help you get a business plan together.’

I finger the edge of the check. I’ve never taken money from anyone before. But he’s right – I’m sinking like the Titanic.

‘I don’t know when I’ll be able to pay you back.’

He shrugs. ‘I don’t care if you ever do. I just want to help. You’re my best friend. I don’t expect or want anything back.’

Tor and I see each other whenever we have the chance. On the days I’m at his house, he comes home for his lunch break and we eat lunch together. Sometimes I stay until he comes home after work and we have dinner, talk, play with the pets, and make love.

I’ve been getting quite a few orders for hand written wedding invitations, and hand lettered tattoo designs, all by word of mouth. I’ve also been volunteering at the shelter as much as I can, and the veterinarian who takes care of the sick pets there hired me to do something that is very close to my heart. When her practice has a patient that passes away, they make an imprint of the pet’s paw in ink on notepaper, and she has me write a small, inspirational poem about eternal love on the bottom of the card, and I add the pets name and dates. Then its sent to the owner for them to keep. I personally think it’s very sweet.

Today is Sunday, and Tor’s out riding and having lunch with my father. We haven’t seen each other for three days due to just work and life stuff getting in the way, and I’m missing him a lot. To keep my mind busy, I’ve taken on the project of organizing all my pens, papers, and ink when I get a text message.

Tor: I miss you.

Me: I miss you more 😉

Tor: Can you meet me at my place tonight? Around six?

Me: Yes.

Tor: Can’t wait. I love you.

Me: I love you, too.

‘Perfect timing. I just got here,’ he says when I let myself into his house, which is something he insists on. He hates when I knock.

We kiss hello. A sweet, soft kiss on the lips and we’re both smiling as we do so. I still get butterflies when I see him, even though it’s been a few weeks since we officially started seeing each other as a couple.

‘I have to take the great white furry one for his walk, you want to come?’

‘Of course.’

Diogee starts to prance as soon as he sees Tor get his leash, and then he waits by the french doors that lead to the back yard for Tor to snap his leash onto his collar. We walk through the back yard and out the gate leading to the woods. In just the past short few weeks, we’ve started to develop even more rituals, like walking the dog together.

‘How was the ride?’ I ask.

‘Good. Humid, though. We rode down Hampton Beach, and it reminded me of your prom night.’

‘Ugh, don’t remind me of that.’

‘It seems like so long ago, doesn’t it?’

I nod as we pause for Diogee to sniff around in the dirt and old leaves. ‘It really does.’

‘I think that was the night everything changed between us. I don’t even know why. I’ve thought about it a lot, and I don’t know what the fuck happened. It’s like something just switched.’

Nodding, I lean against him and kiss his shoulder. ‘I know what you mean. I felt it, too. When we danced together. The way you touched my cheek,’ I smile and squint up at him. ‘The look in your eyes. I was petrified.’

He lets out a laugh. ‘Why were you scared? You’re the one who was talking about putting me in a box.’ He teases.

My face heats up at the memory. ‘Oh my God, I did. I’m surprised you didn’t run and hide.’

‘No way, baby. I wanted you to put me in that box and keep me.’

‘I’m definitely keeping you, but I’m keeping you out of the box for good behavior.’

He winks at me. ‘Good to know.’

As we make our way down the path and circle around back to his house, it starts to drizzle with light rain. Locking the gate behind us when we get into his yard, he lets Diogee off leash to run the yard and then pulls me into his arms.

‘Dance with me,’ he whispers.

My heart swells and I rest my head against his chest. ‘There’s no music.’ I say, even though it doesn’t matter. Our bodies are already swaying together.

‘There’s always music. Listen to the sound of the rain drops and our heart beats.’ He holds me tighter and presses his lips to my forehead as our bodies move together in the rain.

I used to hate the rain, thinking it was gloomy, depressing, and the ultimate hair-wrecker, but now he’s changed that for me forever by turning it into something incredibly romantic. I’ll never be able to see or hear rain again without remembering this moment with him.

‘How do you make me love you more and more?’ I murmur, sliding my hands up the back of his shirt, always want to be touching his skin. I hate any kind of barrier between us. Like clothes. Clothes on him are a sin.

‘So my evil plan is working?’ He asks playfully.

‘To make me love you even more? Then yes, it’s working.’

‘Good.’ He squeezes me tighter, our clothes sticking to our bodies. ‘We’re getting pretty wet. I’m going to take you inside now and make you even wetter.’

Yes.

My heart speed up as he takes my hand and leads me back into the house with Diogee at our heels. I have no idea what he’s got in mind and that just adds to the anticipation and excitement of being with him. I’ve learned that Tor loves my inexperience rather than resents it, as I first worried he might. I think being the only man who has ever really touched me turns him on, and I don’t mind that at all. I can understand the possessiveness he feels.

He takes me into his bathroom, closing the door behind us with a flash of that sexy grin I can’t get enough of before he slowly takes off my damp clothes. His focus is one hundred percent on undressing me, his eyes riveted either on mine or slowly gazing over the parts of my body he’s revealing. He doesn’t distract either of us by kissing me like we see in the movies, and that’s something very intense about him that I’ve grown to appreciate. He likes to watch his hands move over me, glancing up to catch my breathing and the expression on my face.

‘Turn the shower on,’ he says softly, pulling his own clothes off as I do so. He checks the water temperature with his hand before putting his arm around my waist and pulling me under the water with him. His body towers over mine in the small shower, and when he bends down to kiss me the warm water sprays over his head and then cascades down over us.

He backs up slightly and moves his hands down to my waist. ‘Turn around,’ He says, his voice growing huskier, and when I do, he grabs my hands and places my palms against the tile in front of me. The familiar scintillating hum courses through my body, spreading that feeling of excitement, longing, and a tinge of nervousness from the unknown. His lips come down on my shoulder while his hands slowly slide down my arms, brushing across my breasts, and over the curve of my waist, stopping to fill his hands with my ass cheeks, squeezing as he presses his hard cock against the small of my back.

‘You have the most perfect ass,’ He whispers as the steam from the hot water drifts around us. His hand moves down between us and slides between my wet thighs, his fingers reaching forward to rub my clit, the water mixing with my own wetness.

‘Do you want me?’ His teeth graze the back of my neck as his finger slowly pushes into me, a small moan escapes my lips.

‘Always.’

‘Tell me,’ his lips curve against my neck in response and he pushes his palm up against my sex, his middle finger pressing perfectly against my sweet spot. ‘I want to hear your sweet voice say something dirty.’

Without hesitating, I say exactly what I’m thinking. ‘I want to feel every inch of your cock rammed in me right now.’

‘Fuck yeah.’ He hisses. He backs away from me and lets the water spray down my back, then grabs the bottle of lavender body wash I keep here, squeezing some into his hands. I stay where he put me, still facing the tile with my hands flat against it, and he begins to rub the lather all over my back. My nipples harden against his palms when he reaches around to cup them, gently pinching my nipples before moving his slippery hands down to soap up my thighs, running his hand between my cheeks on the way, his fingers lingering and pressing into places that make my breath catch.

His hand tangles in my wet hair and pulls my head back to him, his lips capturing mine, licking the drops of water that have dripped down to my mouth. I twist my head back to kiss him deeper when he grips my waist, guiding my lower body to meet with his and pushing us so the stream of water flows between our bodies. His hand moves between us, fisting his cock and pushing the slick head into my passage. Grabbing my hips, he thrusts up into me long and deep, making me go up on my toes from the force of him filling me.

‘If you ask for every inch, I’m going to give you every inch,’ He rasps against my ear, his voice so sexy it makes me sigh and arch my back, craving even more of him. His hands slide up and cover my breasts, cupping them for leverage as he continues to plunge in and out of me, his forehead leaning against the back of mine. As his breathing becomes more ragged, he reaches up to grab the shower head above us, detaches it, and flicks the controls with his thumb. I’m vaguely confused but too focused on his cock to care – until he holds it between my legs and the pulsing water sends my throbbing nerve endings into overdrive, launching me into an instant orgasm. My legs almost buckle beneath me but he wraps his arm around my waist to hold me as he pulls his shaft all the way out then sinks back into me, his balls slapping against me with every thrust.

‘Tor…’ Orgasmic delirium has me liquifying under his touch, as if my bones are melting. Dropping the shower head, he spins me around and grabs my ass, lifting me up and pushing me back against the tile, his stiff cock finding home again as I wrap my legs around his waist. He kisses me with wild hunger, pumping into me while the dangling shower head spins around, spraying water everywhere. He moans against my mouth and stills, buried deep inside me, his kisses halting to slow, deep, and soft, and I feel him surge and pulse as he comes. I move my pelvis in slow circles against him, milking and caressing him with my tightening walls. Exhaling deeply, he stares into my eyes and loosens his grip on me.

‘Damn…I love you,’ He says, his voice filled with raw emotion.

‘I love you back.’ I say breathlessly, raining kisses over his face and smoothing his wet hair back.

He lowers me to my feet and we take a lightning fast real shower together as the water has gone mostly cold. When we step out, I realize water has sprayed onto the floor from the shower head flinging around. I kneel down and wipe up the water with an extra towel. ‘That was pretty amazing.’ I say, the ecstasy still quaking through my body.

He grins down at me and my eyes are drawn to that incredibly sexy V as he wraps his towel around his narrow waist. ‘You’re not allowed to touch that by yourself. I hold the keys to the magic shower stimulator.’

‘Oh, really?’ I tease.

‘Really.’

I stand and kiss his cheek. ‘I wouldn’t want to do anything without you, anyway. That would be cheating.’

A frown replaces the smile he had a few seconds ago and his eyes turn a shade the color of molten chocolate. ‘You actually mean that, don’t you?’

I squeeze the excess water from my hair with the towel and look at him quizzically. ‘Mean what?’

‘That you wouldn’t cheat on me.’

My stomach pitches just thinking about that. ‘Of course I mean it. Are you crazy? Why would I ever cheat on you?’ I poke his abs playfully. ‘You’re the perfect man. Sexy, sweet, caring, you love pets, you beat up bad guys, you kiss bunny noses…should I go on?’

He leans back against the sink and watches me as I dry myself off. ‘I never told you about this but Sydni cheated all the time. Of course she didn’t think of it as cheating because we were in a so-called open relationship, but she was the only one with the opening.’

I look at him in confusion. ‘Open relationship? What’s that?’

‘It means you date and sleep with other people but still have an ongoing relationship with someone else.’

‘Oh!’ I say in surprise. I had no idea. ‘Ew.’

‘Yeah, ew.’

‘Did you…?’ I don’t want to know that he’s been having sex with half our town.

‘Once. A long time ago. I was young and thought it would be fun to be able to have a free pass to sleep with anyone I wanted, ya know? But it sucked. I felt guilty and dirty. Back then I cared about Syd a lot, but over the years with all that going on, it destroyed us. Especially her obsession with your father.’

‘Were my parents like that too?’ I ask, starting to feel sick. If my parents were in a relationship like that it would ruin everything I believed about them.

He wraps a thick white towel around me and pulls me to him. ‘Fuck, no. Your parents were completely committed to each other. Asher hasn’t touched a woman in years even though Sydni has done everything but beg on her knees to blow him.’

I breathe a sigh of relief but I’m still nauseous thinking about how Sydni has been chasing my father—her best friend’s husband, on top of sleeping with other men. She’s worse than I thought.

‘I’m sorry, Kenz. I shouldn’t be talking like this. Sometimes I forget that he’s not just my friend, he’s also your dad.’

‘It’s okay, you can talk to me about anything. I just don’t understand why Sydni would do that when she had you.’

‘Variety, fun, excitement, riding different dicks. Who the hell knows.’ He shrugs but it’s obvious her behavior has hurt him.

‘You don’t ever have to worry about that with me, Tor. I don’t care if I’m eighteen or fifty. I’ll never want anyone but you.’

He swoops me up into his arms, kissing me as he carries me to his bed. My head falls to the side and my gaze lands across the room as his lips tickle my neck. It takes me a moment to register what’s different about his room today, and then it comes into clear view. The glass jug, the one that’s been filled with coins for as far back as my memory goes, is now empty.

The engagement ring family tradition.

It seems like a lifetime ago when he told me about the tradition, but in fact it’s only been two years. I distinctly remember the unexpected feelings of jealousy that crept over me at the time, picturing him with some lucky woman who would become his wife someday, and secretly wishing it could be me.

My arms tighten around him, his body still hot from the shower, as his lips move over my bare skin.

Could it really be me? Or am I living a temporary dream on borrowed time?