I’m about to knock on the door when a small gasp has me freezing, my hand hovering over the door like a game of green light red light.
If I thought I was a mess before, it’s nothing compared to the tornado of emotions the half moan half mewl I hear next has me feeling. The sounds coming out of that room have my knees buckling, making me brace both hands on the door frame just to keep myself upright.
There’s no question that the woman who’s been haunting my dreams is pleasuring herself just a few feet away.
I should be a good man and walk away. I should. But I don’t. What’s another transgression on my way to hell?
My intention is to listen. That’s it. But that shit goes out the window as soon as the next words fall from her mouth in a throaty whisper, “Yes, Daddy.”
Faaaaaak. That’s it. I’m destroyed. Not only is this woman a godsend to my children, but she’s a kinky little thing, sent to torture me into an early grave.
As I stand here letting her words sink in, I’ve never been more grateful that Blanca had the kids call me Papa instead of Daddy—from now on, that name is solely reserved for this woman’s lips.
Before I know what’s happening, I’m opening the door, stepping into her room with no fucks to give except for one. Give her what she needs.
My eyes land on her body first, the vision making my cock throb. Holy mother of God. She’s naked, sitting atop her bed like a perfect little offering, waiting to be sacrificed. Mine. The one word hits me like a Mack truck to the face. It’s violent. Visceral. All consuming.
I need to have her. Taste her.
“Austin!” she whisper-hisses, scrambling back on the bed until her back hits the headboard.
She’s about to cover herself with a pillow, but I’m not having any of that. Like a man possessed, I storm forward and my extremities act of their own accord.
“Don’t,” I grit out through clenched teeth, my hand snapping onto her tiny wrist and pinning it against the headboard.
The angel on my left is yelling at me to stop. This isn’t right. I’m her fucking boss. Her much older boss. This is inappropriate.
But the devil on my right reminds me I’m damned. Might as well do something good with my life, and by the quake of Anaya’s knees, I know exactly where that good lives—right between those thighs.
And that’s where I land a knee, right between the legs that’ll lead me to the promised land. I’m hovering over her, half of my body on the bed and the other half grounding me to the floor, that half keeping me tethered to the small sense of decency I still possess.
I want to destroy her with pleasure, leaving her nothing more than a puddle of release. But first I need to know she’s mine. That her mind and her body are here with me, not with some limp dick who isn’t worthy of her.
I may be all sorts of fucked up, but I’m not a damn rapist and I’m no consolation prize. If I take her, she’s mine. There’ll be no going back to that dipshit. I’m playing for keeps, too far gone to care if I even deserve this precious gift.
With my free hand, I grip her chin and tilt her head up—exposing her glittering, wild eyes. What’s going on in that pretty little head?
She’s yet to say another word besides my name, her breathing now coming out in short little pants. “Talk to me, Monroe.”
“It’s Anaya. Not Monroe.” She juts out her chin in defiance.
Naked and trembling, she’s still fierce, giving me the fire I didn’t know I needed until now. I tsk, moving her face to the left as I lower my mouth to the shell of her ear. “That’s no way to talk to your Daddy. Is it?”
A shudder wracks her small frame, and it takes everything in me not to lay her down, fucking her right then and there.
Anaya squeezes her eyes shut, tilting her head away to hide the prettiest blush that’s now spreading across her face. “You heard me…” she whispers almost to herself, but I heard her loud and clear.
She’s embarrassed by what she wants, and that’s something I’ll never be okay with.
“Hey…” I grip her chin and turn her back toward me, taking in a deep inhale when our lips are a breath apart, committing her sweet scent to memory. “Don’t ever be ashamed of what you like. You’re fucking perfect the way you are, you hear me?”
She doesn’t answer in obvious discomfort, this realization making me beyond mad.
Anaya is fiercely independent outside of the bedroom, and if inside of it she needs the safety and support of a Daddy to feel her best, then who the fuck cares. I’ll be more than willing to fit that role and give her what she needs. It’d be my goddamn honor.
“Answer me, Anaya, or I’ll be forced to take you over my knee until you tell me what I want to hear. Say it. Say you’re perfect.”
Her eyes open so wide they almost look comical. “You wouldn’t.”
“Try me, little girl.” I open her legs wide and drop my hand, issuing a quick slap to her swollen pussy. “Now, say it.”
Anaya whimpers, her lower body jerking from my touch, but my little thing does as she’s told. “I’m-I’m perfect.”
“Good girl.”
Her big doe eyes blink up at me in a daze. It’s clear by her blown out pupils that she likes the way I manhandle her. I’m practically roaring with this knowledge, realizing my instincts about her being submissive in bed were right.
Grabbing her jaw, I bring her mouth to mine, devouring it whole. There’s no need to ask permission. This beautiful flower blooms before me, opening up and letting me inside.
I take, take, take because she was made for me. My pretty little thing.
I’m lost in the push and pull of our tongues, our heavy breathing, and the brush of her erect nipples against my hard chest when it hits me. She’s still married.
“Anaya, I need to ask you something.”
“Okay… Yes.” She lets out a shaky breath, our eyes never straying from each other’s.
“Yes what, baby?”
She bites her plump bottom lip, the corner of her mouth tilting up in an almost smile. “Yes, Daddy.”
My cock pulses in response and it takes everything in me not to lunge forward, taking that dirty little mouth with mine. She’s fucking perfect.
“Good girl.” I stroke her bruised lip with the pad of my thumb before letting my hand trail down her luscious body, slowly caressing every curve on my way to the junction of her thighs. “Tell me. Does this little pussy need her Daddy? Does she need attention?”
Anaya mewls, my words making her back arch and sending her full breasts thrusting toward my face.
Unwilling to pass this up, my hand abandons its journey south and cups the peak, directing the pebbled nipple straight into my mouth. Fuuuuuuck. She’s delicious. “These tits, baby. They’re my new drug.” I whisper onto the tender flesh, taking the bud between my teeth and rolling it left to right.
Anaya lets out a noise of despair, “Austin. Please.”
I pull back, looking at the wanton mess writhing before me. If I were being honest, I’m not sure how much more I can take of this torture either.
Needing more, I release my grip before slapping the fleshy side of her tit, making it jiggle. Beautiful. Nothing short of it.
But like a dark cloud, visions of Ray’s driver’s license flashes before me, the memory threatening to rip this precious angel away from me. Fuck that. The last thing I want to be doing right now is bringing up that asshole, but it’s a necessary evil, so I do.
“Tell me, precious.” My hand trails to her lower back, making her arch toward me and sending her breasts pressing against my chest. “Ray is in his forties. Is that what you like? Older men?”
She shudders, but I don’t think it’s from pleasure. Anaya buries her head into my chest, refusing to answer, but I know I won’t move forward without knowing.
Both of my hands hold her to me, traveling up her smooth back and reveling in its softness. “Answer me, Monroe. I need to know if that’s all this is. You looking for me to fill the role of your missing Daddy?”
She sucks in a sharp breath, her small hands coming to my chest before giving me a hard shove. The unexpected action loosens my grip, giving Anaya enough room to rear her hand back before her palm slaps against my cheek, the sound echoing off the walls in the small room.
“How dare you?” Her wild hair matches the glint in her eyes, feral and chaotic. “Get. Out. Right now!”
She’s fuming and I swear I’ve never seen a more beautiful sight. Okay. So maybe I could’ve worded that better, but I’m not about to apologize. I need to know.
“No. I’m not leaving until I get my answer.”
She’s openly glaring now, and if looks could kill, I’d be a goner. “You get one answer, but then you’re leaving.”
A dark rumble resembling a laugh falls from my lips. “Oh, baby. I’m getting much more than that.”
She narrows her eyes, little nostrils flaring with indignation. “One. Answer.”
“Do you love him?” My chest squeezes as the words slip out, making me realize how vulnerable this question has made me.
How could this little thing have the power to destroy me with her response? In such a short time, she’s embedded herself into my heart, digging her tiny claws into me. And worst of all, I’m afraid the hold she has on me is permanent.
Anaya cackles, her laughter sending a wave of unease running through me. That is until I hear what she has to say. “Hell-to-the-no. That ship sailed when I tasted another woman on him.”
Rage. Nothing but blind fury fills me, demanding blood as retribution. He did what? No matter. He won’t live long enough to regret it.
“Austin?” Anaya is looking up at me, her anger nowhere to be seen. Instead, concern mars her pretty face. “You’re shaking and your face is all red.”
I take in a deep breath, trying to slow my racing heart. Is she afraid of me? If she saw the thoughts running through my head, she definitely would be.
Her slender fingers reach up and caress the cheek she’d just slapped minutes ago. “Are you okay?”
Wow. My heart stops in the wake of her kindness. Here I am, barging into her room, homicidal thoughts now invading my head and she’s worried… about me. Damn, if I weren’t already falling for the nanny, this is where I’d start.
Guilt hits me straight in the gut. She’s perfect. Too damn perfect for me. I need to let her go.
“I’m okay, baby.” I cup her face and bring her forehead to my lips before pressing a hard kiss to the damp skin. She deserves so much better than this—the monster I am. With a strength I didn’t know I possessed, I release my hold, ripping myself away and stepping off the bed.
“Austin?” Anaya’s confusion is evident, but this is for the best. I never should have crossed that threshold. I had no right.
Needing to rectify this, I walk away, lead weighing down each one of my steps the closer I get to the door. I’m leaving behind perfection incarnate because it doesn’t belong to me. It never could.
With one last glance back, I give her the only thing I can. My protection. “He won’t hurt you, Anaya. Never again.”
I close the door before she can say anything, knowing that my willpower is waning and it won’t take much to send me back in, taking her in my arms and having my way with her.
But that’s not what she needs. She doesn’t need my scars which far outweigh her own.
From this day forward, I vow to keep her safe. Something I failed to do with my own wife, the guilt of which still bears down on my soul, but I’ll be damned if I let that happen again. No, I’ll rip through heaven and hell just to keep Anaya safe. Even if that means keeping her safe from me.
