Past
Elsa didn’t show up.
I waited all day, but there’s no trace of her.
The chains clink behind me as I pace the length of the room.
I stare at the arrow she drew on the side of my arm and it’s starting to fade. I want to keep it. Every time I see it, I recall the focused expression on her face when she drew it. The line between her brows. The twitch of her nose.
Maybe she won’t come anymore.
Maybe the red woman hurt her.
I’ll save you. Her soft voice echoes in my head. I promise.
My pace quickens. She promised not to leave me here and I know she won’t.
I sit back down, my gaze locked on the door.
The wound hurts, and I’m warm and hot. Perspiration coats my temple and back. I don’t know if it’s because of the wound or the weather.
My head rests on the cold wall, eyes fluttering closed. Just a second. I’ll remain like this for a second.
I shake my head.
What if Elsa comes when I’m asleep?
She can come now…
Or now…
I must’ve fallen asleep because someone is shaking my shoulders. I tense, thinking about the red woman.
No.
Her hands aren’t soft and small. She doesn’t smell of cotton candy and Maltesers.
The moment I force my lids open, Elsa’s grinning face greets me. Her missing tooth is starting to grow.
She leans down, wraps her arms around my shoulders, and hugs me. Her joy runs in spades between us. Even though it hurts and I’m about to collapse, her energy is contagious. I can’t help but smile despite not knowing what she’s so happy about.
Is it weird that her happiness makes me happy?
“Daddy came home!” She gushes. “I’ll wait till Ma goes to bed and then I’ll tell him about you. He’s going to help you!”
My smile falls.
She frowns. “Aren’t you happy?”
“I am.”
“Then why do you look sad?”
Because if her dad helps me, I won’t see her again.
Mum never spent a day without me, and now that I’ve been away for a long time, she won’t allow me to go outside again. My father will do that, too.
Meaning, I won’t see Elsa any time soon.
“Smile.” She places her index fingers on either side of my mouth and pulls.
“Do you want me to go?” I ask.
She nods frantically. “I don’t want to see you bleeding and cold.”
“If I go, I won’t come back.”
“Why not? You can come back. We’re friends.” Her bottom lip trembles. “Right?”
“I don’t think I’ll be able to come back.”
“I’ll tell Daddy to take me to you.”
“Your dad doesn’t like my dad.”
“I don’t care. I like you. Daddy gives me everything I like.” Her fingers run in my hair. “Tonight, you won’t be hurt anymore. Wait for me, okay?”
She reaches into her dress’s pocket and I’m not surprised when she retrieves a small bag of Maltesers and stuffs it in my hand. “I’ll give them to you.”
She stands, then crouches back down and places a peck onto my cheek. “Wait for me.”
I do.
After she’s gone, I sit on the filthy floor, watching the door and the Maltesers she left in my hands.
I’ll eat them when she returns. Maltesers are too sweet and I don’t like them much, but I haven’t told her that. Elsa’s so enthusiastic about them and I like watching her eat them. Besides, she loves it when I share the chocolate balls with her.
My eyes flutter closed and my skin turns warm then cold, but I don’t sleep. I think about Mum and how happy she’ll be when I go back. Maybe Jonathan will take us somewhere and make Mum happy.
The door barges open.
I jump to my feet. It’s not Elsa.
The red woman strolls inside, clutching a horsewhip in her hands.
She’s wearing a long, sleeveless, red dress. Her golden hair falls to her shoulders and her lips are painted in bright red. Even her heels are red.
Like blood.
Mum used to tell me about the power of the darkness. She said the real monsters look more beautiful than angels.
The red woman is as beautiful as the angel in our garden.
I shrink into the corner, tightening my hold on the bag of Maltesers. The sound of the red woman’s shoes comes closer.
“Eli… Mummy is back.”
Her voice is calm and black like winter nights. At times like these, I wish I can feel Mum’s warmth and hear her soft words.
If I pretend to be Eli, she won’t hurt me.
“Did you miss Mummy, Eli?” She stands in front of me, a serene smile on her face.
“I did.” I miss my mum, Alicia.
She crouches in front of me and runs her red nails down my face. Goosebumps erupt in her wake. “I told you not to swim in the lake. Why did you?”
“I-I’m sorry.”
“You won’t repeat it, okay?”
I nod, twice.
She smiles and stands up.
Phew. She didn’t get angry this time. I’m about to sit back down when she stops and whirls around so abruptly, I jerk against the wall.
“What is that?” She shrieks, pointing at my hand.
The Maltesers.
I hide them behind my back. “N-Nothing.”
“I told you not to lie to me!” Her voice echoes around us. She grabs my hand, her nails digging into the skin.
I try my hardest to keep the bag of chocolates, but she snatches it away.
“Give it back.” I glare at her. “It’s mine.”
“You ungrateful little bastard.” She slaps me across the face.
I fall to my side onto the hard floor, my cheek stinging.
“I gave you everything, everything! But all you do is lie and play at the lake when you shouldn’t!”
The first lash of the horsewhip lands on my back. Something rips at my skin, and I scream.
“Mummy will fix it, Eli. Mummy will fix everything.”
Crack.
I wail. The pain is unlike anything I’ve felt before. It hurts more than when she cut my arm or when she chained me with the cuff.
“Stop…” I crawl to the corner on all four, shaking all over.
Crack. Crack. Crack.
She goes on and on… and on.
A sticky warm liquid travels down my spine and drips onto the floor.
Drip.
Drip.
Drip.
My eyes flutter closed and a tear falls down my cheek.
I’m sorry, Elsa. I won’t keep my promise.
