I woke with someone pressed up against my back, a warm breath fanning over my shoulder.
I didn’t pull away, only stared at my hand, which rested atop his on the bed. The skin on my ring finger was lighter from wearing my engagement ring for five years, and now it lay on my nightstand abandoned. And how could I ever wear it again? How could I ever face my fiancé again after everything I had done? Everything I still wanted to do.
Deep down I knew I didn’t want to marry Danilo anymore, but it was my duty, even now. I ran my fingertips over Remo’s hand, and he woke with a current of tension radiating through his body. I assumed he wasn’t a man used to sharing a bed with someone.
He exhaled and relaxed but didn’t say anything. I turned his hand over until his palm was up then traced the burn scars there, wondering how they’d come to be. My touch followed the scars up to his wrists, where crisscross scars fought for dominance with his burn marks. Remo’s breathing changed, became cautious, dangerous.
“Will you ever tell me how you got those?”
He bit the nape of my neck. “Why should I?”
Yes, why should he spill his guts to me? I turned around in his hold. His expression was forbidding, but his eyes held a hint of something even darker. “You’re right,” I whispered, holding his gaze. “I’m only your captive. The queen in your game of chess. Something meaningless, easy to forget the moment you give me back.” Even as I spoke the words, I couldn’t imagine Remo really letting me go, not with the way he looked at me, and I wasn’t sure if the realization terrified or relieved me. Because how could I return to the Outfit?
“Oh, Angel, forgetting you will be impossible.”
And I smiled. God help me, I smiled.
Remo shook his head slowly. “This is madness.”
“It is.” It was and worse … betrayal. Dad. Mom. Sofia. Sam. Guilt gripped me in its choking hold. I swallowed. “My family …” I didn’t say more.
Remo’s face hardened and he untangled himself from me and stood. My eyes took him in, the harshness of his expression, those cruel eyes, the scars and muscles.
Remo was the enemy. He was trying to destroy the people I loved by using me as his weapon. I couldn’t forget that. He put on his clothes and gun holster. Then he nodded grimly. “That’s the look you’re supposed to give me, Angel. Hold on to your hatred if you can.”
“Can you?”
He didn’t say anything, only smiled darkly. He turned around and left. The fallen angel tattooed to his back seemed to mock me because every day I felt a bit more like an angel falling.
Kiara picked me up around lunchtime. I could tell from the way she was looking at me that she knew I’d slept with Remo. Nino had probably told her, and Remo had told him and probably everyone else. I hadn’t dared to ask him if the sheets had arrived yet. The mere idea that my family and fiancé saw them drove bile up my throat.
We settled on the sofa. She’d ordered vegetarian Sushi, which was set up on the table in front of us. I didn’t see Nino anywhere, but I knew he was close and would storm in at the slightest sound of distress from Kiara.
We ate in silence for a while, but eventually Kiara couldn’t contain her concern anymore. She touched my shoulder, her eyes flitting to the bite marks on my throat. “Are you okay?”
I set down the sticks and met her gaze. “I’m a captive in these walls, and I betrayed my family. I let Remo dishonor me. I’m ruined. So what do you think?”
She pursed her lips. “You’re only ruined if you allow others to make you feel that way.”
“You don’t understand.” I snapped my lips shut, shame washing over me because everyone knew the stories about her. “I’m sorry.”
Kiara shook her head, a flicker of pain in her eyes but she straightened her shoulders with a smile. “I felt ruined for years … until I didn’t anymore, and then I was free.”
“If my family and fiancé find out Remo didn’t force me, they won’t forgive me.”
“Do you want to return to your fiancé?”
“Do you think I want to stay with Remo?” I muttered. “He kidnapped me. He keeps me locked in a room. He is my enemy. Sex won’t change that.”
Kiara regarded me closely. “Maybe there’s a chance for peace between the Outfit and the Camorra. You could be that chance. Something good can be born from an act of brutality.”
“But there won’t be. My dad, my uncle, my fiancé, my brother won’t ever agree to any kind of peace. They are proud men, Kiara. You know how Made Men are. Remo took me from them, stole my … stole my innocence.”
“It’s either stolen or given.”
I looked away. “They won’t see it that way. He ripped something from them, took something they considered their possession. He insulted my family, my fiancé. They won’t forget or forgive. They’ll retaliate. They’ll avenge me with brutal intent.”
“Do you want to be avenged?”
“Remo kidnapped me. He took everything from me.”
“Everything?” Kiara said curiously.
“Everything that used to matter.” I took my chopsticks again and continued eating, hoping Kiara got the hint that I didn’t want to talk anymore.
Remo came to my bedroom again that night. I had expected him and didn’t say anything as he dropped his gun holster on the ground then lay down beside me. I only regarded him, trying to understand him, myself, us. But I saw the same confusion in his eyes that I felt every time he was close.
We were both caught in an undercurrent, dragging us down into its unforgiving depth, unable to swim to the surface on our own. The only people who could save us only wanted to save one of us and see the other drown, but we were entangled. One of us would have to let go first to reach the surface.
And just like the night before, Remo’s mouth forced me into submission, lips and tongue and teeth, harsh one moment, gentle the next. He didn’t try to sleep with me, and for some reason it made things worse because I didn’t want him to hold back. I wanted him to take without consideration, without mercy. Because when he was something more than the monster I knew him to be, he took something I was even less willing to give.
He pressed against my back, breathing harshly, his erection a demanding presence pushing into me.
“When will you set me free?” I asked.
“Soon,” Remo murmured but didn’t elaborate. For some reason I heard the echo of the word “never.”
Never. Never. Never.
And it didn’t scare me as much as it should.
I considered asking about the sheets. Dante must have contacted Remo by now. But I was too scared, didn’t want to know their reaction. Remo’s lips brushed my shoulder blade.
“You always do that.”
Tension shot through his body as if I’d caught him committing a horrendous crime. “I think Danilo ruined your uncle’s plan to keep it cool.”
I stiffened as well. “What?”
Remo’s hold tightened, not allowing me to turn around. “Dante tried to pretend the sheets didn’t have the desired effect, but this afternoon Danilo called me, and he wasn’t as controlled as the cold fish wanted me to believe.”
I sucked in a shaky breath. “You talked to Danilo?”
“He was furious, murderous. He told me he’d cut my balls and dick off and feed them to me.” Remo paused and I tensed further. “And I told him that he could try but that it wouldn’t change the fact that I was the first man inside you.”
I wrenched myself out of his embrace, whirled around on him, kneeling on the bed.
Remo smiled darkly. My eyes caught the holster on the floor. I lunged, ripped the gun from the holster, released the safety, and pointed it at Remo’s head.
He rolled on his back, arms stretched out in surrender. There was no fear, no apprehension in his eyes.
I straightened on my knees beside him. “If you think I can’t go through with pulling the trigger, Remo, you are wrong. I’m not the girl from before who couldn’t cut your throat.”
Remo held my gaze. “I don’t doubt you can kill me, Angel.”
“Then why aren’t you scared?” I asked fiercely.
“Because,” he murmured, gripping my hips. I tightened my hold on the gun, but I allowed him to keep his hands on my skin. “I’m not scared of death or pain.”
Without lowering the gun, I straddled his stomach, and my core clenched at the feel of his muscles.
Remo’s eyes flashed with desire. I leaned forward, resting the barrel against his forehead. “If I kill you now, I’m free.”
“There are still my brothers and hundreds of loyal men who will hunt you down,” Remo said, his thumbs stroking my belly in a distracting way. I had already been wet from Remo’s earlier ministrations, but a new wave of arousal pooled between my legs now.
“But I’d still be free of you and that’s all I care about.”
Remo smiled darkly again. He lifted one arm and I tightened my finger on the trigger. “You can’t be free of me. Because I’m in there.” He touched my temple lightly, though it was another spot he should have touched because it was his presence in another place that scared me far more. “You will always remember that I’m the one you gifted yourself to for the very first time.”
I gave him the cruel smile he used on me whenever I got too close. “The memory will fade. Two times don’t matter after a while. I’ll sleep with Danilo for the rest of my life, and I’ll forget that there ever was a man before him.”
Remo jerked into a sitting position, his eyes flashing with fury. The gun dug into his forehead, but he didn’t care. His grip on my hip tightened, and his other hand cupped my head. “Oh, Angel, trust me when I say you’ll remember me for the rest of your existence.”
I lifted up and positioned myself over Remo’s erection. I touched my palm to his cheek, causing his eyes to flash with an emotion that scared him and me equally. I released the trigger but didn’t drop the gun. I lowered myself on Remo’s length slowly, despite the fierce twinge. My head fell back when he was buried all the way inside me.
“Devastating.”
I lowered my head, locking gazes with Remo.
“Devastatingly beautiful,” he murmured. I lowered the gun and pressed it to his chest.
“There’s nothing in there for you to shoot.”
I engaged the safety, wrapped my arms around his neck, and rocked my hips, the gun dangling loosely in my hand. Pain and pleasure shot through me. Remo groaned. I moved faster, lifting and falling. Remo held me tightly, his eyes dark and possessive as he let me be in control.
Remo’s teeth scraped my throat, leaving marks, and my nails raked over his back, leaving my own marks in turn. It was painful but I rode him hard and fast, relishing in the burning sensation. Remo sucked my nipple into his mouth, and his thumb rubbed my clit. Pleasure spiked fiercely, mingling with the pain in a delicious dance.
Both were spiraling higher and higher, and I knew one of them would eventually shatter me, and I longed for it. Needed it. Remo flicked my nub and pleasure overpowered all else. I cried out, dropping the gun as I desperately held on to Remo’s shoulders, my nails digging in. Remo held my gaze with fierceness and hunger, and I felt alive and free and weightless.
I was still shuddering from the force of my orgasm when Remo flipped us around, locking my knees under his arms, parting me wide and thrusting into me in one hard push, going so much deeper than before. I arched up, lips parting in a choked sound, half moan, half whimper. Remo didn’t pause. He slammed into me, hard and fast, shoving me into the mattress over and over again, ripping every last shred of innocence from me. The gun lay beside us on the bed.
Remo had been right. A bullet to his head wouldn’t free me of him. At this point, I wasn’t sure if anything could.
REMO
Sitting on the sofa in the game room, I stared down at my phone. Two missed calls from Dante. The last from yesterday. Three days since my entertaining call with Danilo. I couldn’t bring myself to talk to Dante, knowing I had him right where I wanted him.
“It’s time to end this. Dante called me today. He’ll exchange Scuderi for Serafina.”
“I’m Capo. I decide when and how to set her free.”
Nino leaned forward, arms braced on his thighs. “Remo, if you have feelings for her—”
I cut him off. “I’m not like you. One woman won’t turn me into an emotional mess.”
He narrowed his eyes but his expression remained calm. “Then send her back. Fabiano is getting impatient and so am I. There’s nothing else to gain from this. Dante won’t give us more than Scuderi. You already made them believe you tortured and raped Serafina. They are on their knees, but Dante is Capo. He won’t give up more than his Consigliere.”
“Next time he calls, I’ll take his call,” I said with a shrug.
Nino assessed me. “I told you there would be no winners in this game.”
“We are the winners.”
He shook his head but didn’t say anything.
I stood and went over to the boxing bag. Kicking and punching it didn’t help with my fucking inner turmoil, and Nino’s judgmental presence didn’t help either.
I kicked the bag once more then stalked upstairs and burst into Serafina’s bedroom. She was reading on the windowsill. By now, Adamo must have brought her half of our library. She put the book down and stood. In the last few days, a gradual power shift had started and I couldn’t allow it.
Serafina moved closer, scanning my face cautiously. She stopped in front of me. Instead of dealing out harshness like I’d intended to, my eyes took in her soft lips, lips I couldn’t get enough of, lips that drove me insane with desire.
“You have a very strange look on your face.”
“I can’t think about anything else than having you on your knees in front of me with those perfect lips around my cock.” It was a half-truth, the only truth she’d ever get.
“I was on my knees once,” she hissed.
I shook my head. “That doesn’t count. You can be on your knees and still be in control.”
“I won’t kneel.”
“That’s a shame considering there’s no better way to bring a man to his knees than to kneel in front of him while you suck his cock. Didn’t you want to bring me to my knees?”
She pushed me back and I sank down on the edge of the bed. I pulled her between my legs so her knees pressed up against my erection. I slipped my palm between her closed thighs and rubbed her through the fabric of her panties. “I wake with a fucking boner every morning, dreaming about your lips and your tongue, Angel. How it would feel to fuck your sweet mouth.”
She was burned into my fucking mind, not just the feel of her body …
Her brows drew together, but her mouth opened as her breathing deepened. Using my thumb, I grazed her clit while my other finger slid along her slit. Her panties soon stuck to her folds with her juices. “I eat your pussy almost every day. Don’t you ever wonder how it would be to return the favor? To control me with your mouth?”
Her eyes flashed and she moaned when I pressed my hand harder against her center. Slowly, I withdrew my hand and smiled darkly. I gripped her hips and pressed down, not enough to make her knees buckle but to show her what I wanted. She resisted so I loosened the pressure and finally she lowered herself to her knees, head held high. My cock hardened further at the sight of Serafina before me. I unbuckled my belt and unzipped my pants before I took my cock out. I began stroking myself, swirling my thumb over my slick tip.
Serafina watched with parted lips but narrowed her eyes when she noticed my smirk. After another swirl of my thumb, gathering my pre-cum, I brushed her lips and pushed into her mouth. Her tongue tasted me hesitantly, and my fucking dick twitched. Serafina noticed, of course, and smiled in triumph.
I pulled my finger out and placed my hand over her neck, but I didn’t push her toward my waiting cock, knowing she’d resist again if I tried to coax her into doing what I wanted.
Finally, she reached out, curling those elegant fingers around the base of my cock. She squeezed experimentally, and I stifled a groan. And then Serafina leaned forward and slid my tip into her mouth. She licked the tip then sucked, unpracticed moves that drove me insane with desire. I began thrusting into her mouth, driving my cock deeper into her, but not all the way in, still holding back when I’d never held back for a woman in my entire life.
My balls clenched every time she hollowed her cheeks, and the sight would have brought me to my knees if I weren’t already sitting. Kneeling before me, challenge and triumph in her blue eyes, Serafina owned me. Body … and whatever black soul was left.
My phone rang and I tightened my hold on her neck when I took the call. “Dante, what a pleasure,” I got out.
Serafina tried pulling back, her eyes going wide, but my hand on her neck kept her in place as I thrust into her mouth. She glared and scraped her teeth over my dick, which made my eyes roll back and my cock twitch. I smirked. She’d have to bite down much harder for me to release her. Pain only turned me on more.
“I’m not calling to exchange pleasantries,” Dante said coldly.
I turned the loud speaker on and loosened my hold on her neck. Serafina jerked back, but I grabbed her arm and hoisted her up. Then I pulled her onto my lap, her back against my chest, one of my arms wrapped around her chest. My feet shoved her legs apart and kept them spread eagle. Serafina scowled but couldn’t say anything. I brushed two fingers over her folds, finding her fucking dripping with arousal. I grinned and shame flashed across her face. “That’s a pity,” I said to Dante.
I slid two fingers into her and began fucking her while my other hand cupped her breast.
“We should come to a solution,” Dante said. I could hear the barely restrained fury in his voice.
“I’m sure we will,” I said as I slid my fingers in and out of Serafina’s pussy and swirled my thumb over her clit. “You know I want Scuderi. I want you to hand him to me in person.”
Serafina’s muscles clenched around my fingers as I fucked her slowly. She twisted her head back and bit into the side of my neck. My hold loosened, and she wrenched free of my grip and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door shut.
“In two days. In my city. I want you to bring him all the way to Vegas. You get Serafina. I get Scuderi. I want her fiancé there as well. I’d like to meet him in person.”
Dante was silent. “We will be there.”
“Nino will send you the details. I’m looking forward to meeting you.” I hung up, but the triumph I felt lasted only a moment. My eyes found the door behind which Serafina was hiding.
Two more days.
Then I’d set her free.
It would be up to her if she flew straight into Danilo’s cage …
My chest constricted but I pushed past the sensation. Serafina was never meant to be mine.
I stood, and tearing my gaze away from the door, I left.
