“Has he texted yet?”
“Not yet.” Nat didn’t even get annoyed after answering the question the same way for what must have been the hundredth time. She was as worried as Preston, checking both of their phones every few seconds while he drove and her mother slept in the back seat.
“You shouldn’t have asked him to do it, Natty. Ethan’s too cocky and your brother—or…whatever—is just going to get extra pissed.”
“Ethan’s smart, Preston. You know that.”
“That’s even worse! Smart people are too sure they’re right!”
“But how could he be wrong! You really think he doesn’t know how to tie a knot a wolf can’t escape?”
“I think your brother would chew his own leg off to get at whatever is pissing him off! That’s what I think!”
Nat made a small sound and looked out the window, worry flooding her eyes. Was he right? Caleb was very single minded in general and especially so as a wolf. But as an out of control wolf? She swallowed at the memory.
Perhaps she had been selfish. Maybe she was wrong to ask Ethan to risk himself. But…
But she would do it again in a heartbeat. Caleb meant more to her than anything in the world. And Ethan had thrown her to the wolves with his sister, after all! She was glad to see Preston had thawed towards him, but Preston didn’t care about Caleb the way she did. Or…at all. Not that she could blame him, but still.
Exhaling, she leaned her head back against the seat and closed her eyes. Just a few more hours of this. That was all. A few more hours and hopefully Caleb would be back to normal. And if he still hadn’t been able to control himself, at least they’d have some answers and could figure out where to go from there.
Because there was no way she was letting him go. Not ever. Not when she knew how much he loved her and wanted to protect her—even from himself. Would she have left him if he had some medical condition that stole his mental faculties? Of course not! She’d be right by his side, looking for the best medical treatment possible and trying to stay safe in the meantime. This was no different.
Caleb had given up his life of freedom for her. He’d given up being a wolf time and time again. For her. And he was ready to do it once more. To reject this part of himself that…that was him! And not just when he was in wolf form. She saw it all the time! Caleb was a wolf. A strong, proud, fiercely loyal, pushy, loving wolf.
And she loved him. All of him. When he was tender and when he was furious. When his touch made her melt and…and when it terrified her!
Thoughts of the previous night tore through her mind. She’d been so afraid. So stuck with horrible memories of the men who had touched her before. Men she’d nearly forgotten during her years with Caleb. His touch had washed everything away.
But when she’d felt him probing at her, she’d remembered. How their disgusting bodies had felt pushing into her. The fear. The pain.
For a moment, she’d forgotten this was Caleb. This was her wolf. And whatever madness came over him, she knew him. She believed in him—even if he didn’t believe in himself!
Her eyes opened and she stared at the dashboard, her brows pulling together in a furious line.
That’s right. She did believe in him. She shouldn’t have left. She should be with him in this and if he went crazy, she should be there to help him.
“Preston, turn around.”
He darted a glance at her, stark worry in his eyes.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just realized I shouldn’t have left. No matter what Caleb said.”
Preston didn’t probe further, taking the nearest exit to get back on the highway and head back home.
“What about your mom?”
Nat turned to look in the back seat, chewing her lip.
“She’s not going to like it but…we can have her committed. I’ll say she’s suicidal. That will keep her safe for a couple days. We can stop at the hospital before we head to the mountains.”
“The mountains?”
She nodded. They hadn’t told her where they were going, but she didn’t think they would want to be anywhere near her place just in case Vick showed up. And since neither of them were responding to their texts, chances are they were out of range.
So she had a very good idea of where they’d gone.
“Don’t worry. I’m pretty sure I know where they are, and there’s no cell signal up there. And if Caleb is out of control when we get there, well…”
She drew a deep breath.
“I think it’s time for me to handle him alone.”
The visit to the hospital took longer than expected, even though Preston had helped her with the paperwork, feverishly filling in everything he knew before pacing while he waited for her to finish. The light was fading when at last they made their way up the winding mountain road.
“Nothing on your phone?”
She shook her head, feeling as pale as he looked. It had been hours since they’d heard anything. If things had gone as planned, they should have heard by now.
“That’s our car.”
“No shit,” Preston muttered, but she heard the tension in his voice.
Her heart raced as he parked beside it, her eyes searching the area frantically. She didn’t see anything.
“Maybe you should wait here,” she whispered, starting to open the door.
His brief snort was the only answer before he shoved his own door open and stepped out.
Silence surrounded them. Too much silence. No crickets. No birds. No animal cries. Just the wind blowing through the trees.
“Preston, I really think you should wait in the car,” she whispered again. The blood pounded in her ears, every beat of her heart sending vibrations through her body that she could feel on her skin.
Where were they?
A dense, dark line of trees waited for them, their gnarled branches twisted together and reaching for the sky. Heavy brush at the base created a wall, barring entrance, but for a small expanse she knew well.
She glanced at Preston, but he showed so sign of backing down. Okay. She’d just have to stay in front of him.
Taking a deep breath, she stepped toward the dark passage.
Leaves crackled underfoot with every step, the crunch of the brittle fragments declaring their presence to the expanse around them. Holding out a hand, she stopped Preston once they passed beneath the trees, her heart pounding wildly. Silence.
Struggling to adjust to the faint light inside, she peered down the path, looking for some sign of Ethan and Caleb. Of where they’d gone.
She looked up at Preston, at his worried young face, and tried one more time.
“Please go back,” she whispered. “He won’t hurt me. But…he would hurt you.”
“And Ethan,” he said, swallowing and staring into the forest. “I’ll go when Ethan goes.”
A chill stole over her, an icy grip tightening in her chest. But she turned back to the darkness. And stepped forward.
Crunch.
Pause. Listen. Silence.
Crunch.
Stop. Silence.
Deeper and deeper into the woods. The light behind them faded to nothing, and the twilight sent only the faintest shimmers through the trees above. All was dark. All was quiet.
They nearly stumbled over the body in front of them.
“Ethan?” Preston’s frantic voice cut through the night as they dropped to their knees, both of them reaching for the boy lying so still on the ground.
Something wet covered Nat’s hands the moment she touched his body, and she froze.
“Ethan?” Preston’s voice was more choked now, his hands running over him, and Nat nearly collapsed in relief when a small whisper responded.
“What are you doing here? We said we’d call…”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” Preston said furiously, beginning to lift Ethan in his arms. “I fucking told you, dude.”
“Are you seriously saying I told you so right now,” came the slightly annoyed response. But he didn’t try to stop Preston from lifting him.
“What happened, Ethan? Where’s Caleb?” she whispered, her worried eyes sweeping the area around them. She couldn’t keep them safe if she didn’t know the direction he might come from.
“He shifted before I could tie him up. He didn’t mean to. I wasn’t expecting it…” His voice faded, and Preston’s voice was rough when he answered.
“You’re so fucking smart you’re stupid sometimes. Are you going to fucking die on me? Because I don’t want to carry you all the way to the car if you’re just going to fucking die.”
His voice cracked and he cleared it quickly, looking at Nat in worry. She nodded.
“I’ll walk back with you.”
Relief flickered in his eyes, and he lifted Ethan more securely in his arms, turning back toward the car.
A low snarl wrapped its way around the trees, coming from everywhere. Nowhere.
“Caleb?” Nat’s voice was tentative as she looked around. Silence.
Her hand gripped Preston’s arm, ready to pull him away if Caleb attacked, and the snarl came again. Deeper. Harsher.
Nat swallowed and dropped her hand. Silence.
“Caleb…where are you? Please…let me see you… I…have something…something I want…to give you,” she finished, her throat scratchy.
The wind blew around them while Preston stood, frozen with worry, his arms gripping Ethan tightly.
And an enormous dark beast with glistening fangs locked in a fierce, wild growl stepped between the trees.
“Caleb…” Nat’s heart ached with relief and fear. Fear for Preston. For Ethan.
But not for her. Because she knew Caleb. And he would never hurt her.
“Preston, take Ethan to a hospital. I’ll stay here.”
“Fuck. Are you sure Natty?”
“The wolfsbane. I dropped it,” Ethan whispered, stopping when Caleb’s growl bit out in a harsh bark, his snarl growing more wild.
“It’s okay. I don’t need it. Go on. I’ll be safe with Caleb.”
Tension held her body taut, worried they would argue further. And Caleb could move so quickly when he wanted to.
Preston looked at her in indecision before glancing down at Ethan and looking back up. This time with a nod.
“Wait—we can’t leave her here—he’s gone rabid,” Ethan tried lifting his head, but Preston subdued him, striding back toward the car with hurried steps.
“Shut up, dude! She knows him better than you and you’re bleeding all over me. And you’re not light, so just be quiet.”
His voice was already fading behind her as Nat stared at Caleb. Caleb. His eyes with a madness in them she’d never seen.
Caleb.
And she began taking off her clothes.
The wind whistled through the trees in soft whispers that swirled around her, chilling her bare skin as piece by piece her clothing fell at her feet.
“Caleb,” she whispered, the sound floating through the air between them. “I’m not afraid of you. I’m not afraid to be with you. Not anymore.”
A dark, deep chaos raged within the eyes that watched her—twin hollows of madness held in check by some thin thread that couldn’t hold. Crouching low, his body jerked with each soft pat of her clothes hitting the forest floor.
“You have always fought for me. You fight everything for me. Even yourself. But I don’t want you fighting yourself, Caleb. Fenri…”
His claws dug into the dirt in front of him.
“You’re mine. All of you. You’re mine. My wolf,” she said, her voice growing husky. Tremors racked her body. From the icy mountain air. From standing on a knife’s edge, hoping she wouldn’t slip…
He jerked back with a snarl when the last of her clothing fell to the ground, and she took a shaky breath.
“I trust you to take care of me. As I will always take care of you.”
Closing her eyes, she took one last deep breath…and slowly turned her back to him to fall to her knees and lean forward on all fours.
Blood pounded in her ears. The air vibrated against her skin with every beat of her heart. And she waited. Struggling not to shake. From the cold. From the fear she was trying so desperately to hide. That he was lost to her.
Sharp crackles of leaves sounded behind her, and she looked over her shoulder to see him in a type of madness, creeping forward only to rush back with a vicious shake of his head. The muscles of his enormous body tensing repeatedly, locked in some internal war.
“Caleb, it’s okay—Caleb!” Shoving herself to her feet, she swiped at the ground to grab her jacket and race after him when he thundered off deep into the woods. “Caleb, stop!”
Broken bits of branches and scattered leaves bit into her bare feet, and she struggled to get her arms into the soft hoodie while she ran, unwilling to slow for even a moment, to risk losing him.
“Caleb, please come back! Please don’t leave!” Tears choked her, and she wiped her eyes furiously with her sleeve. She needed to see. He was already so far away, and it was so dark!
She stopped calling for him, needing to hear which way he’d gone, needing to know which way to go, running, stumbling, desperately trying not to cry, trying not to cloud her vision.
She was his mate. She was. He chose her! He was still her wolf!
The harsh chill of the air tortured her lungs, but she hurtled ahead, leaping over fallen branches, ignoring when the forest floor cut into her flesh. Deep into the woods, twisting and turning to follow the only open passages she could find that she thought he might have used.
Until she could no longer hear anything but her own labored breaths and the wind whistling past her ears. Until the pain in her side bowed her over. And still she stumbled ahead. Crying freely now. Calling again, knowing his own ears would hear her long after hers had failed.
Because she wasn’t a wolf. No matter how much she wanted to be. Wanted to be what he needed. She was too fragile compared to him. And slow. And she couldn’t hear him. Couldn’t see any further signs of where he’d been. It was too dark.
She had lost him.
Fresh tears sprang to her eyes, and her head shook back and forth. No. He would come back. He just needed to run this off. And he would be back.
A deep sound of pain came from her throat, and she fell onto her knees, her arms wrapped around her body, rocking back and forth.
Except his eyes…they hadn’t been like they were before. They were too wild. And this was the forest. The home he’d abandoned for her. To live as a human, denying the wolf inside him over and over. For her.
And what had she done? Let him. Denied him as well. Too afraid. Wanting only the human part of him. Afraid to want the wolf.
But she wanted him now. So deeply and it tore at her until she screamed it into the night. On and on, screaming and sobbing, until her throat grew raw.
Nat knelt on the hard, cold ground, her chest shaking with each breath, staring numbly at her bare thighs. Listening. Hoping for any hint of a sound. Any whisper of hope.
But all was silent.
She waited. He would come back. He wouldn’t want her to get hurt. He would come back…
But the minutes crept by and the night grew darker. Colder.
Nat lifted her head at last, looking around. She’d run without thinking of anything but catching up to Caleb.
And she had no idea where she was.
Wiping her tears away, she stood on trembling legs, pinpricks running up and down her skin as the blood flowed freely once more. She couldn’t feel her toes, but perhaps that would be a mercy walking over the rough terrain. Wrapping her jacket around her more tightly, she turned back the way she’d come, the faint light of the moon glistening through the trees above.
Maybe Caleb would run back home. Maybe he just needed time.
A sharp pain stabbed her stomach, and she struggled to breathe.
Just walk. One foot in front of the other.
She plodded along, trying to guess at her direction each time she came to open pathways. Minutes passed by. Maybe hours. She didn’t know. She had no watch. No phone. Just a thin jacket and a growing sense of unease.
When the path she was on opened to a large, rocky creek, she knew she’d taken a wrong turn. But she was thirsty, so she scanned the area before quenching her thirst and starting to turn back.
A howl sounded in the distance, the mad shriek piercing the night, high and shrill. On and on it went until another call answered it, the screaming yelps filling the mountainside.
That wasn’t Caleb. And it wasn’t nearly far enough away.
Her heart pounding wildly, Nat turned back toward the creek, looking around frantically. Where could she go? Should she follow the creek? It should spill out eventually into a river, and maybe she could swim out far enough where no animal would chase her. How long could she last in the cold water?
When the shrieks suddenly went silent behind her, she didn’t hesitate, splashing into the shallow, frigid water to head downstream, hoping the water might mask her scent.
She stumbled along as quickly as she dared, afraid to end up bursting into another animal’s territory in her mad dash from the banshee creatures behind her. Coyotes. She knew their call. They weren’t large, but they would tear her apart if hungry enough.
The water grew deeper, and what little feeling she’d had remaining in her feet and lower legs disappeared completely. Worried she might twist her ankle on the uneven creek bed below, she slowed her pace, treading with extra care. Her teeth chattered, and she tightened her arms around her body, trying to hold in whatever warmth she could, while the sound of the rushing water filled her ears, masking further sounds from the forest. She glanced back over her shoulder. And her heart flew to her throat.
A pack of coyotes had emerged, bounding along the edge of the creek, their eyes bright and alert. On her.
She didn’t run. She could never hope to outpace them. There was only one thing she could do.
Scream.
