Kas stays inside me, his body trembling against mine. I run my hand over his back, tracing lazy patterns with my fingers, as he breathes heavily against my neck.
He lifts his head, looking me in the eyes.
“You okay?” I whisper.
He smiles, and I feel that smile everywhere.
“More than okay.” He presses a sweet kiss to my lips. “Are you okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No. I’ll probably be a little sore, as it’s been a while, but it was totally worth it.” I press my hand to his cheek.
Taking ahold of my hand, he turns his face in and kisses my palm. “It was…amazing.” When he brings his eyes back to mine, the look in them is reverent.
“You sure?”
“Are you unsure?” he challenges, teasing in his eyes.
“No. I just…you haven’t since…” I trail off, leaving the words I don’t want to say hanging. “And I haven’t in two years, and I was never exactly a porn star in bed before that.”
Laughter bursts from him.
Even though I love the sound, it’s pissing me off right now.
“Hey!” I slap him on the arm.
“Sorry.” He gives me a sober laugh.
Then, he brushes his lips over mine. I keep them stubbornly closed for about two seconds before caving and kissing him back.
“This…you and me, together…is incredible. I’ve never known anything like what I just felt with you.”
I want to ask, Not even with Haley?
But I don’t want to bring her up and kill the mood, so I say nothing.
He must read something in my eyes because he says, “Haley and I were just kids. Sure, she wasn’t my first. I’d lost my virginity when I was fourteen with a girl who was a few years older than me, and I’d slept with a few girls that year before Haley and I got together. So, yeah, I had a little experience, but we were still young and didn’t have a clue what we were doing. I still don’t. And I should be the one worrying if I was good enough for you. I’ve never been in bed with a woman before you, Daisy.” His hand caresses my hip.
“Trust me”—I lift my head and brush my lips over his—“you definitely know what you’re doing.”
“I guess all those years of watching porn have finally paid off.”
It’s my turn to have laughter burst from me.
Kas wraps his arms around me and kisses me. “Let me just go clean up, and I’ll be back.” He brushes his nose over mine before kissing the tip of it, and then he pulls out of me.
I wince a little at the soreness, but I hate the loss of him inside me more.
“Could you bring me a cloth to clean up?” I ask.
“Sure.”
I watch him walk to the bathroom and sigh. He has a great butt. Really tight and firm. And those shoulders…drool.
Kas disappears inside. I hear running water. He’s not gone for long before he’s coming back with a washcloth in his hand.
I reach to take it from him, but he moves his hand away.
“Let me.” He presses the warm, damp cloth between my legs, gently cleaning me.
I watch him, amazed at the depths of my feelings for this man I referred to as Kas-hole.
“The first time I met you…I never thought we’d be here.”
He stops cleaning me and looks at me with tender eyes. “I’m glad we are.”
“Yeah, me, too,” I whisper as my heart bumps clumsily around in my chest.
“All clean?” He checks.
I nod.
He takes the cloth back to the bathroom. I climb in under the duvet. Kas returns and climbs into bed beside me. He wraps me in his arms, so we’re face-to-face.
He softly kisses me. I press my hand to his chest, touching his scars. I feel him tense.
“I don’t see them,” I whisper. “I don’t look at you and those scars independently. I just see you.”
“I see them,” he murmurs. “And I hate them.”
I slide my hand over his chest and around to his back. “Can I ask you something?”
“Sure,” he says, but his eyes don’t look sure.
But I have to ask, so I take a breath and start talking, “I mean, I think I understand why you didn’t want me to see the scars. Because of the way they make you feel about yourself, and you hate them. But then I remembered that day when I walked in on you and Jude sparring. Your back was to me, and you didn’t have a shirt on that day. You went and put one on before I saw anything, but obviously, you had been shirtless around Jude. So, why do you feel okay with him seeing them?”
His eyes close briefly before reopening. “Well, I didn’t want to have sex with Jude, for starters.” He gives me a slight smile. “And Jude knows everything that happened. He’s the only other person who does—aside from my parents and, of course, you.”
“How long have you known him?”
“We met at group therapy when we were eighteen. I was seeing a therapist, but he also ran a group session for people who were suffering with various types of PTSD. He thought it would be good for me to join his group. Jude was also a patient at the group session. We got to talking and just clicked. He was the one who got me into parkour.”
“What about MMA?”
“That was me. I wanted to be able to”—his eyes skim away from me—“defend myself and the people I care about. Jude came along with me and found that he liked it, too.”
“You’re a team.” I smile softly.
“Yeah.” His eyes find mine again. “He’s a good friend.”
I don’t ask why Jude was in therapy because it’s none of my business. I’m just glad that Kas has him in his life.
He’s silent for a moment, and then he says in a quiet voice, “I was afraid…for you to see me. I thought, if you saw the real me…then you wouldn’t want me.”
I press my hand to his face. “I really like the real you. It was Kas-hole that I wasn’t so keen on.”
He gives me a look of shock. I fight to hold back my laughter.
The next thing I know, I’m flat on my back, and Kas is between my legs with his hands on my stomach, tickling me.
“No! Stop!” I squeal, trying but failing to wriggle out of his hold. “I’m really ticklish!” I gasp.
“Yeah, I can see that.”
He tickles me again, and I scream.
“Stop!” I’m panting for air because I’m laughing so hard.
And he’s laughing. The sound is beautiful, and it’s weaving itself around my thudding heart.
“I’m sorry!”
He pauses and looks up at me.
“I said, I’m sorry,” I pant.
“For?” He hovers a threatening hand over my stomach.
“For calling you Kas-hole.” I can’t help but grin when I say the name.
His smile mirrors mine. “You’re not really sorry, are you?”
Pressing my lips together, sealing my smile, I shake my head.
His eyes glitter with mischief.
In a flash, my arms are pinned at my sides, and his mouth is on my stomach.
Then, the bastard blows a raspberry.
“Argh!” I scream with laughter. “I’m sorry! I’ll never call you Kas-hole again!”
But, as soon as I say the name, the raspberry assault gets worse.
“Stop! I’ll pee myself!” I laugh, tears in my eyes.
I’m wriggling, trying to get free, but he’s so bloody strong.
“Okay!” I gasp. “I yield! I’ll never say the K-hole word again, I swear!”
He stops and lifts his head. “You yield?”
Something dark and dirty flashes in his eyes, making my belly flip. And that’s when I feel something long and hard pressing up against my leg.
He’s hard for me again.
“I yield,” I whisper breathily.
“So, that means you’re mine to do what I want with.”
I hold his eyes. Biting my lip, I nod my head.
He grazes his teeth over his lower lip. I shift restlessly.
“What do you want to do with me?” I ask on a hot whisper.
He moves lower, keeping my hands pinned by my sides, and he doesn’t answer with words. He answers by means of his tongue, pressing it against me, making me cry out in pleasure.
