I’d never put much thought into what it would be like to shoot someone.
I mean, it’s not like you ever think you’re going to be faced with the day when you have a gun in your hand, and a homicidal maniac is trying to kill you, so it’s going to be either him or you.
So, of course, it’s going to be you.
But pulling that trigger is nothing like you’d think it would be.
It’s not all glory where the bad guy flies backward, and I stand here, like a badass.
No. I’m the one who ends up on my ass. The kickback from the gun sends me flying backward.
And then, for what seems like the longest time, everything just stops.
The world goes kind of hazy, and it’s like the sound has been switched off.
The only thing I can hear is the sound of my own racing heart, pounding against my chest.
Then, it’s like the world slowly comes back into focus. And the volume is turned back up to loud. Every noise is being picked up by my ears. The sounds of traffic outside. The rattling of the windows as the wind blows against it.
Time restarts.
I’m on the floor with a gun in my hand.
And Damien Doyle is still on his feet, staring down at me in shock.
His hand is pressed to his stomach, blood seeping from the hole I just put in him.
“You fucking shot me,” he says the words like he can’t actually believe that I shot him.
Honestly, neither can I.
Body shaking, I manage to get to my feet. The whole time, I keep my eyes fixed on Damien and keep the gun pointed in his direction.
When I’m on my feet, I quickly glance at Kas on the floor and see that he’s slowly coming around.
Eyes moving back over, past Damien, I look at Cece.
She’s on the floor, sitting awkwardly against the base of the sofa, like she’s wriggled her way off the sofa to try to get to us. But she’s okay.
I exhale with relief.
My eyes come back to Damien, whose eyes are fixed on his blood-soaked hands.
I take a step closer to him, and his eyes lift to mine. He looks afraid.
Power and adrenaline surge through me, the likes of nothing I’ve ever felt before.
It’s like someone else has stepped into my body and taken me over.
Gun raised and pointed at Damien, I take another step closer, putting only a few feet between us.
Fear fills his eyes. “You-you don’t have to do this,” he stammers, stumbling back a step. “We-we can figure something out. I have mo-money.”
“Fuck you, Damien Doyle, you murderous sick fuck. Fuck you to hell and back.” I take a step closer and brace my feet apart.
I take aim.
“That first bullet was for me,” I say in a voice that I barely recognize. “This one is for Haley.”
Then, I pull the trigger.
The bullet rips from the gun and slams into his chest.
He falls back this time, staggering. His eyes lock with mine.
I stop breathing.
Then, he drops to the floor.
Silence. For what seems like forever.
“Daisy.”
My wide eyes swing to Kas.
And reality hits me.
I killed him.
I killed Damien.
The gun drops from my hand, hitting the floor with a soft thud.
“Oh God. I-I ki-killed him. I killed him…I fucking killed him!”
I don’t even realize I’m backing away until Kas grabs me, taking ahold of my upper arms. “Stop.” His voice is hard but calm.
I still in his grasp.
“Cece needs you.” He stares hard into my eyes. “Go help her.”
My eyes dart to Cece.
I race over to her and pull the tape from her mouth. She winces.
“Sorry. God, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
She nods. “Yeah. I think so. Are you?” Her eyes go to Damien’s body on the floor.
I can’t look.
“Yeah. Jesus, Ce, I’m sorry.” Trembling hands fumble at her binds, untying them.
“I’m sorry,” she counters. “I let him in. I didn’t know, Dais.”
“No. Stop now.” I take her face in my hands. “This wasn’t your fault.”
Tears fill her wide eyes, and my heart ruptures open.
“I thought he was…” Her lip trembles. “I thought he was gonna…and I couldn’t do anything.”
I get the ties on her wrist undone.
She throws her arms around me. “I couldn’t have handled it, Dais. If he’d…”
“Shh…it’s okay.” I smooth a hand over her hair. “It’s okay.” I ease out of her arms and untie her ankles.
She gets to her feet and hugs me again. Her body is shaking. Mine, too.
I’m afraid to turn around because I know, if I do, I’ll see Damien’s body again.
“Daisy.” Kas’s soft voice carries to me, turning me around.
I look at him, but my eyes instantly track to the body on the floor.
I killed a man.
My whole body starts to shake. “I killed him…Kas,” I whisper. “I shot him and—”
“No.” He grabs my upper arms again and lowers his head, so we’re at eye-level. Black eyes stare deep into mine. “You didn’t kill him, Daisy. Do you hear me? It was me that pulled that trigger. I was the one who shot Damien. Not you. Me.”
My head starts to shake. Tears fill my eyes at the enormity of what he’s saying. “No,” I choke out.
“Yes.”
“Please, Kas. I can’t—”
“Yes, you can, and you will. You’ll let me do this because there’s a kid out there who needs you. Jesse needs you.” He drives the point home with his eyes. “I killed Doyle. I’d come here to see you. Had heard your screams through the door and burst in to find Doyle trying to rape you. Cece was bound and gagged on the sofa. I lunged for Doyle. We fought. I managed to wrestle his gun off him. I got to my feet and pointed the gun at him, but he came for me again. So, I shot him. But he didn’t go down with that first bullet. He came again, so I pulled the trigger a second time, and he went down. All the time, you were on the floor, unmoving, in shock.”
“Kas, I can’t—”
“Yes, you can. And you will.” Releasing my arms, he takes my face in his hands. “You’ll do this because it’s the right thing to do. It’s the right thing for Jesse. God, I’m sorry I didn’t get here earlier. Jesus, Daisy, just coming in here and finding him and you—I could have lost you.” His eyes close, as though the pain of remembrance is too much for him to bear.
I lift a trembling hand and press it to his cheek.
He opens his eyes. The shine of tears in them nearly kills me.
He gently brushes his thumb over my swelling eye from where Damien hit me.
His eyes lower. Rage flares in his face as he takes in my half-naked state.
“Jesus.” The word is an agonized sound coming from him. “Did he?”
“No.”
“Thank God.” He pulls me into his arms.
I bury my face in his chest. His hand grips the back of my head, holding me to him.
Unwanted images flash through my mind. I shiver in his arms.
“You’re cold.” He releases me and takes off his shirt.
He holds it up for me to put on. I slip my arms into the sleeves. I don’t bother to button it up. I wrap it around me, keeping it in place with my arms, and I just breathe in his scent surrounding me.
He steps close to me and cradles my face in his hands, handling me like I’m precious goods.
He tilts my face up to his. “I love you,” he says.
I blink, surprised, my heart stilling in my chest.
“What I said last night—that it wasn’t in me to love anyone—I was wrong. So fucking wrong, babe.” He leans in and kisses my lips. “I love you like I didn’t know possible.”
I feel him move away a fraction.
I open my eyes. His are on mine, soulful and filled with so many other emotions that I almost can’t take it.
“I couldn’t save Haley that night,” he whispers. “But I can save you now. Let me take the blame for killing him. Let me do this one last thing for you, babe.”
I feel overwhelmed. My chest is so full with my feelings for him that I can barely breathe.
“You don’t have to—”
“I want to. I need to, Daisy.”
I stare into his eyes, understanding what he’s saying to me.
“Okay,” I whisper. “Okay, Kas.”
