Jaxson
I walked into the morning skate the next day with my chin held high.
I knew Vince would have loved to have seen me with my tail between my legs, with my head hanging. But I refused.
I wasn’t sorry.
I wasn’t sorry for the way I felt about Grace, for the way she felt about me, or for anything we’d done. The invasion of our privacy was against our will, and the only thing I was mildly apologetic for was that we couldn’t be the ones to tell Vince and everyone else about us. I hated that they found out this way, but again, that wasn’t on me.
The locker room buzz died in an instant when I walked through the door. I had on headphones, but nothing playing in them. I just didn’t want to field questions — especially not after spending all fucking day and night with the public relations team doing just that.
After Grace and Vince left, I had screamed. I’d thrown shit and stormed around like a beast until my rage could simmer. Then, I’d called coach, asking him where he needed me to be and what I needed to do to get this shit handled.
It wasn’t as easy as I would have liked. I wished we could threaten the news outlets with lawsuits, but they hadn’t leaked anything that was in the realm of revenge porn. It was all relatively wholesome content — other than the fact that they kept replaying the video where Grace had asked me to tell her something good, and I’d responded with my stupid remark about her going down on me.
Every time I thought about it, I had to pinch my eyes shut and force a breath. I was murderous thinking how many people had seen something meant for only us.
Still, I had to focus on what I could control — which wasn’t much. I had the team working on a statement, one I wanted to give as soon as I talked to Grace and got her permission.
As much as it hurt to know I’d let my team down, it hurt worse to think of the pain I knew she was in.
And I couldn’t even reach her — because she didn’t have her fucking phone.
I didn’t say a word or look at anyone in that locker room as I got dressed for our morning skate. We were facing off against New York tonight, and I had to find a way to get focused. Because if there was one way to make it up to my teammates, it was to show up and help us win a fucking game.
Tomorrow, we’d be flying to Atlanta for our first away matchup. My chest was tight with the resolve to get this all figured out before then.
I refused to leave Grace without her knowing that this changed nothing for me.
I still wanted her. I would give up all of it for her.
I just hoped she felt the same.
It killed me not knowing what was going through her head right now. I also hated that I couldn’t be there to hold her hand as we faced her parents — together. If I were her father, I’d want to kill me.
This wasn’t the way any of it was supposed to happen.
I jumped when a hand squeezed my shoulder, and I slid my headphones off one ear, turning to find Will and Carter behind me. Carter had a solemn smile, and Will wore his signature hard ass expression, but even that was tinged with sadness.
“You good?” Daddy P asked.
“No,” I answered honestly. “But I’m ready to play.”
He nodded, satisfied with the answer. Carter, on the other hand, looked like he wanted to hug me. I turned and slid my headphones back into place just in case he actually planned to.
Vince showed up late, looking like he’d slept just as poorly as I had. He froze at the sight of me, like he was surprised I showed up. All of our teammates watched us with bated breath, but Vince just scowled and stormed to his locker as I finished up and made my way out to the ice.
I wanted to talk to him. I wanted to squash all this shit. I hated the way he looked at me, like I’d double-crossed him, like I’d gone from one of his best friends to his number one enemy overnight. He was like a brother to me — and I didn’t know if I’d ever get the chance to make it right.
But for now, we had a game to focus on.
The morning skate before a match was always chill. It was a way to get loose and ready, and we were usually rambunctious during it. We’d chirp each other and play stupid games on the ice to shake off all the nerves.
But today, the rink was deadly quiet.
All we could hear were blades skidding across the ice and pucks hitting the net or the bar. Our DJ even seemed to play the music softer, like he was afraid blasting rap music too loudly would instigate a fight.
For the first part of practice, Vince stayed away from me, and I did the same. But somewhere around the thirty-minute mark, he shoulder-checked me into the boards.
I hadn’t expected the hit, and I slammed into the glass, staying there a long moment to force a calming breath. That little move alone told me how much all of this was affecting him, because if coach would have seen that shit, his ass would have been toast.
I went right back to skating and ignoring him.
Until the fucker did it again.
“That’s enough, Tanny Boy,” Will warned from the goal, but Vince didn’t so much as acknowledge him.
And five minutes later, as he was skating in the opposite direction I was, he slung his stick out lightning-fast and tripped me.
I hit the ice hard, breath knocked out of me the instant my chest made contact, and I didn’t miss the ohh that came from my teammates when I did. I hadn’t been skating at full speed. If I had, I knew Vince wouldn’t have tripped me — no matter how pissed he was. He wouldn’t want to put me at risk of getting truly injured, of putting our team out of a defenseman.
No, he’d known I’d be alright, but he wanted to make a point.
And now, my jaw was set with the determination to do the same.
I tried to calm myself down, tried to find that breath — but it was no use. I popped up off the ice and skated fast and furious across the rink to where he was watching me.
“You wanna do this now?” I asked. “Let’s fucking go.”
I ripped the Velcro from around my wrists and then slung my gloves off just as I reached him, and Vince dropped his stick, his eyes hard on mine as he got rid of his own gloves. I didn’t stop or slow down, didn’t wait for him to be ready. I plowed straight into him and landed the first punch right to his jaw.
It was madness after that.
Our teammates screamed for us to stop, several of them trying to break us up as fists flew. Every time they’d tear one of us off the other, we’d break free and go again.
I was distantly aware of the punches he landed, of how my lip split and I tasted blood — but it wasn’t enough to make either of us stop. We fought like it was game seven of the Stanley Cup playoffs, and the other had gotten a cheap shot on one of our teammates.
Daddy P had the most successful attempt at putting an end to it, standing between us with his hands hard on our chests. But Vince swiped his arm out of the way and shoved him hard, clearing the space long enough to connect his fist to my ear.
I hissed as the pain struck, my head ringing, and then I attacked, taking Vince to the ice in a tackle that would have earned me some attention from the NFL and pinning him there as I sat up and raised my fist.
A whistle blew, loud and long and right in my ear, making me wince and giving Vince just enough time to kick free. Then, all of our teammates stepped in, peeling us apart and holding us back from one another.
And in the middle of it all was Coach McCabe.
It didn’t matter that he wasn’t much older than I was. Coach commanded respect — he always had. He was severe and intentional in everything he did, and he had a way of making me feel like a child when he wasn’t happy.
Right now, he was fucking murderous, his chest heaving as he looked at me, then Vince, and back again.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” he said, his jaw tight. Then, he grabbed us both by the neck like we were little boys, and he steered us toward the bench.
He kept his grip firm even when we were off the ice and walking through the tunnel, and he didn’t stop when we hit the locker room. Instead, he walked us into the back hall and threw us into a dark conference room where we typically met to watch video.
Coach flicked on the lights, pointed at the space between us, and said, “Figure it out.”
Then, he left, slamming the door so hard behind him that I swore the entire arena shook.
Vince and I were both breathing heavy in the otherwise silent room, each of us wiping our faces and staring at the blood on our hands when we did. I flopped down in one of the chairs, and Vince leaned against the wall, folding his arms over his chest.
He wouldn’t look at me, and neither of us spoke.
I ran over it in my head a thousand times last night — what I would say to Vince when I got the chance to speak. But now, it all felt trivial and like it wasn’t enough. It was one thing to tell him I had feelings for his sister, but to have to try to explain it all after the phone leak was another beast altogether.
He was furious, and that was the easiest emotion to reach for. But I knew more than that, he was hurt. And he needed to be the one to speak first, to let it all out.
So, I waited, bending down to unlace my skates and pull them off. Vince did the same, ignoring me as our breaths evened out.
When the silence was heavy around us, Vince sniffed, wiping his nose with the back of his wrist and grumbling when he saw blood again. He blew out a long breath, then looked at me for the first time.
“I have nothing to say to you,” he growled. “And to be quite honest, if I had it my way, you’d be off this team and out of this fucking league. But we can’t always get what we want, can we? So, let’s just agree to stay clear of each other and focus on winning.”
He pushed off the wall like that was his final word and we were done, but I stood just as quickly, blocking his exit.
“That’s not going to fly.”
Vince tilted his head to the side like he was surprised at my audacity. “I don’t think that’s your call to make.”
“It’s not. It’s Coach’s, and our teammates out there who will feel this rift between us whether you decide to face it or not. Now, stop beating around the bush and say what you want to say.”
“I don’t have—”
“Liar.”
“YOU BETRAYED ME.”
His chest heaved with the burst, and I nodded, holding my tongue until he got it out.
“My whole life, I have been protective of Grace. Because she’s needed it. She’s too fucking good for this world, and my bet is that you know that, too. So, when I see my teammates or my friends drooling when she walks past them, I put an end to it quick. She’s not a fucking puck bunny, and she’s too fucking young for any of you pricks. I have always done what I could do to keep her from having her heart smashed, and I thought sitting her with you that night in Austin was the best bet to do that. Because I thought we were friends. I thought you respected me and would, in turn, respect her.” He shook his head. “Turns out I was feeding her to the wolf.”
“I never intended to cross a line — not that night and not after,” I explained. “I knew you trusted me, and I took that to heart.”
Vince scoffed. “Clearly.”
“I did,” I insisted. “But something happened that night that I couldn’t explain even if I had a fucking book to write it all out. You’re right. Grace is too good for this world. She’s also the kind of woman who has the power to walk into your life and shake you out of a haze — which is exactly what she did to me.”
Vince gritted his teeth, moving for the door again, but I slid in front of him.
“I understand that she’s your sister,” I said. “But she’s so much more than that, Vince. She is a beautiful human being who is autonomous of that label — but you and your family have never seen her that way.”
“Fuck you,” he said, slamming his hands against my chest. “Don’t talk about my family like you know us.”
“How would you feel if the roles were reversed, huh?” I asked, stepping right up to his face. “What if it was Grace who was the successful athlete, who your parents doted on and revolved their entire world around? What if you had no choice? What if you never asked yourself what you wanted to do because you didn’t feel like there was space for you? What if you were always just Grace’s brother? How would you feel?”
He narrowed his gaze, scoffing, but before he could refute it, I jumped in again.
“Don’t act like it isn’t true. Grace has always felt an unbearable pressure on her shoulders to be the happy one — no matter what. She’s never shared what her dreams are with you or your parents because there was never any room for her to have a dream.
“When you were upset or not playing your best, she did anything she could to make you feel better. When your parents were stressed about where you would go to college or what team would draft you, she was there to put a smile on their face. Every game, she was there for you. She still is,” I reminded him, hoping that would conjure up how she always answered every call before a match to do the dance for him that had become part of his pre-game rituals.
I thought I saw his brows smooth a bit, like I might have been getting through — so I kept on.
“Have you or your family ever asked her what she wants to do for a holiday, or how she wants to spend even one fucking night? It’s the Vince Tanev show, and to Grace’s credit, she’s been fine with that. In fact, I’d say she’s been your biggest fan since she was born. But you don’t get to sit here and tell me she’s your sister, like that gives you some fucking right over who she dates and what she does with her life. Frankly, you’re a fucking idiot if you can’t see that she is more than capable of handling herself. And she is allowed to make her own choices.”
Vince’s expression definitely sobered then, the line between his brows softening the more I spoke, as if he really never saw it until now.
“Grace has opened me up in a way no one else ever has,” I continued. “From the first fucking night we spent on that stupid bus. She made me laugh. She made me feel something other than numb. And when I saw her come to your house crying over that dumbass punk, yeah — I jumped at the chance to make her feel better. I asked her what she needed, and she said she wanted to drive. So, that’s what we did.
“And I know I should have told you then. I understand the risk I took and the way I broke your trust by going behind your back. But honestly, I had no fucking idea what I was doing. All I knew was that I felt a pull to her that I had never felt before in my life. Judging by the way you asked Maven to marry you after knowing her for less than nine months, my bet is you can understand that kind of crazy.”
Vince swallowed at that, his eyes falling to the floor.
“I see her, Vince,” I said, my voice softer now. “Not just the happy-go-lucky side of her, either. That girl has been looking for a safe place to break her entire life, and I gave her one. I could talk to you all day about it. I could make a fucking PowerPoint, but it wouldn’t change the fact that you will never understand what we have. No one will.
“What happened on that road,” I added, pointing toward the door. “It was something meant only for us. You think I don’t fucking hate that her phone got leaked? You think it doesn’t make my stomach turn that her privacy was violated, that the world is making assumptions about her based on jokes that were meant to stay between us? It fucking kills me. Alright? But we will handle it. Together. Me and her. Because I don’t care whether you forgive me or not. I don’t care if you hate me for the rest of your life. I am never, never letting that girl go.”
Vince lifted his gaze, looking at me for what felt like the first time since he’d stormed into my house. I felt like he was both sizing me up and seeing me in a new light. He narrowed his eyes a bit, like he was looking for some sort of sign that I might be lying. Then, he blew out a breath and ran a hand through his hair, slumping into the nearest seat.
He was silent for a long time, and then he shook his head and said, “I hear you.”
My next breath deflated out of me, and I realized then that I was shaking. I made my way to the seat next to him and flopped down, too.
“I didn’t know she felt like that,” he said quietly. “Which tracks, since clearly I’ve been so caught up in my own life, I haven’t thought to ask about hers. I’ve always been so protective of her…” He shook his head, pain etching his brows. “And really, I didn’t know her at all. It’s like she’s always been the ten-year-old little sister to me. I didn’t realize…”
“That she’s grown up now?”
He sighed, nodding.
“You know, if you would have just fucking told me you were interested in her—”
“You would have told me to fuck off,” I finished for him.
He opened his mouth to argue, but shut it again just as quickly. “Well, you still should have told me.”
“You’re right. And I planned to. We planned to. But just like the rest of her life, you don’t get to dictate when or how things happen. It’s her decision, and mine. You think we didn’t see how this would all blow up? You think we didn’t realize all the reasons we couldn’t and shouldn’t be together?” I laughed at that. “Trust me — no one has run over that list more than me. She’s younger than I am. She’s my teammate’s sister. She wants a life of adventure when I’m bound to the team and what it wants for me. We don’t make sense, and we tried to walk away from each other. We let ourselves have the summer and were willing to sacrifice what we felt because we knew what we were up against.”
I let out a soft laugh, eyes losing focus on my hands.
“But it was like fighting against a rip current, man. We couldn’t do it. We made ourselves both miserable in our attempt. And last night, we decided we’d face whatever consequences we had to, but we were going to be together.” I swallowed. “It fucking sucks that you found out the way you did, and I’m sorry for that. But I’m not sorry for loving your sister. I will never apologize for that.”
Vince frowned. “You love her?”
“So much so I was willing to face your wrath and every judgmental prick who had something to say about it. So much so that I was ready to walk away from everything if I had to — including hockey. So much so that I couldn’t walk away from her even knowing she could do better, be better without me.”
He sighed, sinking into his chair, and I knew without him saying it that he understood.
He felt the same way about Maven.
“I can’t undo what’s already done,” I said. “But I can promise you that I will do everything I can to clean up this mess. More than that, I can promise you that no one in this world will love her harder than I will, and I will protect her with my fucking life.” I balled my hand into a fist and hit my chest. “With my life, brother. I know that, in your eyes, no one will ever be good enough for her, and I’m not arguing that fact. All I’m asking is that you let me try to be. I’m asking that, for once, you listen to her and what she wants — and trust that she’s old enough to make her own damn decisions.”
Vince smirked, cocking a brow at me. “Did you rehearse that?”
“Maybe a few hundred times when I couldn’t sleep last night.”
He chuckled, sitting up and planting his hands on his knees. “I hate that you lied to me,” he said. “But… I understand why you did. And I know what it’s like to have to keep a secret like that when all you want is for the world to know. I… I’m sorry,” he said, shocking himself and me both. “For being such a beast that you couldn’t come to me and tell me the truth. I couldn’t help it. She’s my little sister and I just…”
“I know,” I said, clamping a hand on his shoulder. He stiffened at first, but then relaxed, nodding.
“You’re one of my best friends, Jax,” he said, lifting his gaze to meet mine. “I know we don’t talk about the heavy stuff much, but we don’t have to for me to know you’ve been through it. I know you work harder than anyone, other than maybe Daddy P — and that doesn’t count because that man is a machine.”
We both chuckled at that.
“And I also know that if anyone will take care of my sister the way I have tried to, it’s you.”
Emotion hit my throat like a fist with those words, and I swallowed, nodding. “Thank you.”
The corners of his mouth tilted up, and then he stood, wiping a bit of dried blood from his knuckle. “So, do we hug now or what?”
I stood, too, opening my arms for him to bring it in.
But before he could, I nut tapped him, and then took off running down the hall.
Vince hobbled after me, half-groaning and half-threatening my life as I swung into the locker room where our teammates were just coming in off the ice. I weaved through them with Vince chasing me, but this time we were both laughing, and when he finally caught me, he grabbed my underwear and pulled hard, giving me the worst wedgie of my life.
Carter jumped in on the fun, grabbing the back of Vince’s jersey and pulling it up over his head. That made Vince run straight into a locker door that was open and curse before he was chasing Carter — all while I attempted to dig my underwear out of my ass.
Daddy P rolled his eyes, but I saw the smirk he hid.
My chest was instantly lighter, my heart beating steadier. I knew there was still a shit show to navigate with the media, but with Vince’s blessing, I felt like everything else we had to face was like a basket full of kittens.
Today, I would focus on showing up for my team, on kicking New York’s ass and starting our season off with two home game wins in a row.
And tonight, I’d start my next adventure with Grace.
With just Grace.
I couldn’t wait to see where the road would take us this time.
