Grace
My parents wouldn’t let me go to the game.
For once, I didn’t feel like kicking and screaming and demanding to make my own decisions like the adult I was. Because as much as I wanted to be there for Jaxson and for Vince, I knew I wasn’t ready to face the swarm of cameras — professional or otherwise.
The entire country had their mind made up about me at the current moment, which was fine. I didn’t care. But I also didn’t want to hear their assessment of me screamed loud enough for the whole arena to hear. It was bad enough reading the headlines.
So, I sat on Vince’s couch with my parents and Maven, watching numbly and counting down the minutes to when it would all be over. I didn’t know what had happened, but my brother and Jaxson were both sporting fresh cuts and bruises on their faces and knuckles, and Jaxson had reached me earlier by calling Maven’s phone.
He’d assured me things were okay, and asked if he could see me tonight.
As if that was a fucking question.
Now, I was wishing I could fast-forward time to when I was in his arms.
Maven sat curled up next to me on the couch, and she squeezed my wrist when the first period ended. “Want to take a walk on the beach?”
I looked over to my parents, as if they might tell me no, but Mom smiled and nodded. Dad still looked a bit green from the events of the past few days, which was understandable provided the things being said about his little girl, but even he managed a slight tilt of his lips.
“You’re not in prison,” he said. “Just be careful and call us if there are any lowlifes with cameras out there.”
My eyes filled with tears — which had been a common theme for the last thirty-something hours. I was pretty sure my parents had seen me cry more in that time than in my entire life.
But this time, I cried because I was thankful, because in a situation where my parents could have been nightmares — they’d surprised me. Mom had held me and soothed me and assured me more times than I could count that nothing was my fault, and that I hadn’t done anything wrong. And Dad, though I knew the things being said about his little girl were driving him mad, was just as supportive. He had held me as I sobbed and told me he was there, that I wasn’t alone.
Neither of them had said a single bad word about Jaxson.
Then again — Vince had done enough of that for all of us.
I flung my arms around them both, hugging them tight as Mom let out a surprised, “Oh!” and Dad stiffened before hugging me in return.
“I love you,” I whispered.
They softened, leaning into me. “We love you, too, sweetheart,” Mom said.
When I pulled back, I held her hand in mine. “I want to talk to you guys and Vince,” I said. “When all the dust has settled.”
“Any time, whenever you’re ready to speak, we’ll be here to listen,” Mom promised.
I squeezed her hand, and then Maven and I ambled out into the humid Florida air.
I sighed when my toes hit the sand, finding comfort in that and the soft waves rolling in the distance. Maven threaded her arm through mine and led the way.
“I’m proud of you.”
I laughed. “For being stupid enough to leave my phone in the bathroom?”
“For handling this whole situation with grace. See what I did there?”
She winked and I nudged her, both of us toppling a bit in the sand before we found a straight line again.
“I mean it,” she said. “What happened to you… it’s completely fucked. I know very well how nasty people on the Internet can be, and I know this can’t be easy for you. But you’ve held your head high. You’ve faced your parents and your brother, and I know that had to be hard to do.”
“Especially when Vince essentially turned into a dragon.”
Maven chuckled. “I think it’s kind of hot when he’s ragey,” she confessed. “But not toward you.”
“I wonder what happened between them today.”
“Judging by their faces, they fought it out,” Maven guessed. “But, if Vince’s texts earlier, and the fact that Jaxson felt bold enough to call you through my phone is any indicator… my guess is that after they fought, they talked.”
My chest filled with hope. “Why do I still feel like I’m going to be sick?”
“Well,” Maven said. “You had your privacy violated, which never feels nice. And even though things are smoothing out, you’re still in very choppy water. The media isn’t going to quit.” She sighed with that. “And I imagine you and Jaxson have a lot to talk about.”
I swallowed. “Yeah.”
“What are you most nervous about?”
“I would have said my brother before all this,” I said. “But now… I don’t know. I guess just everything we’ve been hiding behind up until now, all the ways we don’t make sense.”
“Why, because he’s older?”
I nodded. “That’s part of it.”
“And because you want to travel the world and he’s stuck in Tampa?”
I chuckled. “That’s been part of it, too. Except…”
“Except now, you don’t feel that call to roam as strongly as you did, do you?”
I stopped, pulling her down into the sand with me. “You’re far too good at this.”
“Livia has rubbed off on me. I swear, that woman is a Jedi.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to travel anymore, because I do. There’s so much I want to see and do…”
“But you also love being with Jaxson. Here. You like the idea of a home.”
My eyes welled again. “Yes.”
“It’s okay to want both. Who’s to say you can’t travel while he’s busy with the hockey season? Meet him at away games when you can, come home to Tampa when you want to. And during the off-season, you two can travel together.”
My chest expanded with that dash of hope again. “You really think it could be so simple?”
“Judging by the way that man literally risked it all for you?” Maven shook her head on a smile. “He’s down bad, sis. And you are, too. The rest?” She waved a hand in the air. “Just logistics.”
I leaned a head on her shoulder, stomach floating on the wings of a hummingbird as I thought about it all.
If my brother really was okay with it, and so were my parents — I didn’t care what the rest of the world thought. Truthfully, even if they weren’t okay with it, it wouldn’t have mattered.
I wanted a life with Jaxson Brittain — rain or shine, hail or blistering snowstorm.
In just a few hours, I’d tell him that.
And we’d face whatever came next together.
• • •
After the game — which the Ospreys won by two — my parents, Maven, and I waited up for Vince and Jaxson. The second we heard cars in the driveway, I was sprinting out the door, and I didn’t stop until I was launching myself into Jaxson’s arms.
He’d just stepped up out of his vintage Porsche, but he caught me with a spin, holding me to him and breathing in deep like I was his own personal brand of oxygen. I threaded my fingers into his hair and kissed him, all the tension in my chest instantly releasing once I did.
“Are you okay?” he asked, sweeping my hair out of my face like I was the one with the bruises.
I thumbed the one coloring his left eye. “I think I should be asking that question.”
Jaxson grinned, and as he sat me down, my brother made a loud gagging noise.
“Yeah, listen,” Vince said, slinging his bag over one shoulder and draping his other arm around Maven. “I’m going to need to never see that shit again.”
“As if I haven’t had to watch you hang all over her,” I pointed out.
Maven held up a finger. “She’s not wrong.”
“That’s different,” Vince combatted. “We’re not as gross about it.”
“I call bullshit,” Jaxson interjected. “Pretty sure you mauling her in your lap on the party bus is the whole reason your sister couldn’t even stand to sit next to you, which led you to sending her back to sit with me.”
Vince blinked. “I really did this to myself, didn’t I?” He shook his head then. “Still, it’s not the same. We don’t make out in public,” he tried, looking to Maven for backup.
She grimaced, shrugging as if to say, “Well, if I’m being honest…”
My brother continued arguing his point as Maven laughed and dragged him inside.
When they were gone, Jaxson slid his hand down to intertwine with mine, and we both slowly made our way to my parents.
My father stood tall, chest puffed, and Mom smiled sympathetically at us both.
“Mr. Tanev,” Jaxson said. “Mrs. Tanev. I just want to say—”
“I’ll tell you what I told her,” my mom interjected. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Your relationship is your business and yours alone. I’m just sorry for what happened to you. It’s a horrid thing, and I hope whoever did it gets their karma.”
I leaned into Jaxson’s arm, hiding my giggle and blush. My mom was usually so proper. I loved when she let the mama bear side out.
“I hope so, too,” Jaxson said, shaking her hand.
He reached for my father’s next, who eyed that hand like a bug before finally taking it in a firm shake. He let out a throaty exhale like he was suppressing the urge to shoot flames. “We’ll talk more later, but for now, I just need you to know that’s my little girl, and if you hurt her…”
“Dad,” I groaned.
“I will do everything in my power not to,” Jaxson promised.
Dad seemed satisfied with that, at least for now, and he hooked an arm around Mom to lead her inside, leaving me and Jaxson alone.
At last.
He let out a long breath, tucking me into his side for a hug as he bent to kiss my hair. His scent made me nostalgic — the leather and fresh-cut cedar. It brought me back to our road trip, my heart squeezing at the memories.
“It’s been torture to be away from you through this,” Jaxson said. “I am so fucking sorry for what’s happening.”
“It’s not your fault,” I said, peeking up at him. “I’m the dummy who left my phone in a bathroom.”
“We all do that,” Jaxson argued. “This is on the piece of shit who decided they had a right to what was inside that phone.”
The team was doing everything they could to find out who the “source” was who’d leaked everything from my phone. Part of me hoped they’d find out who it was so that person would get fired or exposed. The other part of me thought that they must have been very sad and very desperate for money to do something like this, and I pitied them for that enough to not wish them any harm.
“Either way — what’s done is done,” I said. “We can’t control any of that.”
“I want to make a statement,” Jaxson announced, threading his hand in mine again and steering us toward the beach. “I’m so fucking angry at them for making you out to be some…”
“Whore?” I finished for him, and his jaw tightened, so I leaned into him on a smile. “I’m your little whore, remember?”
He growled, attacking my neck with kisses as his fingers dug into my side. I squealed with laughter until our feet hit the sand, and we both kicked off our shoes before continuing toward the water.
“I want to set the record straight,” he continued. “I want to tell the whole fucking world that we’re together, and that those photos and videos and texts were private — between two consenting adults. I’m also still trying to figure out if we can press charges against—”
“Why does it matter?”
He frowned.
“I’m serious,” I said. “Listen, I hate it as much as you do, but making a statement, defending ourselves… it only calls more attention. And trust me — those people who are posting those awful things about us? They’ve already made up their minds. Nothing we do or say is going to change how they think about the situation. If anything, it’ll just give them more ammo to drag us with.”
“Fuck,” Jaxson cursed, running a hand through his hair. He slumped down in one of Maven’s loungers by the water, and I took my seat in his lap. “You’re right.”
“Mmm, say it again,” I teased, kissing his neck. “Slower this time. Drop your voice a level.”
He tickled my sides until I was squirming, and then wrapped his arms around me, bringing my forehead down to his.
“I want to protect you,” he said. “I want to keep you safe.”
“From the media?” I laughed. “Babe, there’s a reason I don’t have social media. I don’t give two shits what strangers think about me. I’ve been weird my whole life. I’m the subject of a million drunk night out stories for people who don’t even know my name.” I shrugged. “Who cares what they think?”
He slid a thumb across my jaw, shaking his head. “You’re something else.”
“What I want to know is what happened between you and my brother.”
“Oh, we brawled on the ice this morning,” he said, and I laughed as I smoothed a finger over the cut on his lip. “Coach all but threw us into a conference room and made us stay until we figured it out.”
“And did you?”
“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I really think we did. But you know, I think you should talk to him, too. And your parents.”
“I plan to,” I promised. “I think there’s a lot I have been needing to say for a long time.”
“That reminds me,” he said, smoothing a hand over my thigh where I sat in his lap. “I didn’t get to tell you, but I set boundaries with my dad.”
My eyes shot wide. “You did?”
He nodded. “I did. I told him if he wanted to be in my life, he needed to be in it. No more coaching, no more shit-talking, and no more unwarranted advice. I told him I’d still support him and Mom, but that I wanted a real relationship between us.”
“And?”
He deflated a bit. “And I’m pretty sure I don’t have parents in my life now.”
My heart cracked, and I wrapped him up in a hug. “I’m so sorry, Jaxson.”
“Me, too,” he said. “I could hear Mom crying on the other end, which tells me she heard the whole thing. But, you know… she’s an adult, too. She could have grabbed the phone and talked to me. She could have put her foot down with Dad. Unfortunately, I don’t think that will ever happen, but I’m done making it my problem. I’m done being the punching bag.”
I squeezed where I held him. “I’m proud of you, but I hate that it went down like that.”
Jaxson pulled back until he could search my eyes with his own. “It’s okay. Because you’re my family now.”
My chest expanded, eyes prickling with tears. I groaned and swatted them away before they could fall. “I am so fucking tired of crying! Stop being cute.”
He chuckled, his hand sliding farther up my thigh. “I can be dirty, if you prefer.”
Heat rushed to my core at those words. “I will absolutely be taking you up on that later. But for now…” I played with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I want to talk about us.”
“What about us?”
“What happens now? What… are we?”
I hated the insecurity that slipped through with that, but I needed to know. I needed to hear him say it. After years of looking too far into situationships, and giving more feelings than I was getting in return, I didn’t trust my judgment — even when my heart begged me to. I needed words to affirm me, to soothe the anxiety rioting in my rib cage.
“Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”
I scrunched my nose at him. “Maybe not, if you’re going to be such a brat about it.”
“Oh, now I’m the brat?” Jaxson smirked, tapping my ass for me to lift it so he could reach into his pocket. Then, he had me hold out my hand, and he dropped a small, cool chain into it.
I frowned, holding it up to try to inspect it under the moon and soft light coming from Vince’s house. Jaxson pulled out his phone and shined the flashlight on it, and I sucked in a breath at the charm at the end of a chain.
A tiny silver star.
“I remember thinking you were insane when you read my palm in Austin,” he said, smirking to himself. “And I was fairly certain you were bullshitting.”
“Completely bullshitting,” I confirmed.
“But you nailed me down. Even then. You could see the weight I was holding, could see how stuck I felt before I even realized I felt it. Against all logic, I wanted to kiss you that night. I wanted to claim you even then. And when you swung back into my life two weeks later, it was as if I didn’t have a choice.” He swallowed, his eyes finding mine. “I don’t think I did. I don’t think I’ve ever had a choice when it comes to you.”
My heart swelled so big it felt like my rib cage was a prison.
“I told you in Atlanta that you burn brighter than anyone else in the room, little Nova,” he said, taking the chain from my hands. He began fastening it around my neck. “And if you’re a star, then you’re my star — my sun. From this moment on, I only want to exist in your orbit.”
I thumbed the charm where it sat on my chest, twisting to face him.
“As long as you’ll have me,” he added.
“I have a question first.”
“By all means. Ask anything.”
I twisted until I could straddle his lap, winding my arms around his neck. “Would you rather… spend next off-season on another road trip, or should we try something new. Say… a cruise? Maybe the Bahamas? Oh! Or the Med!”
He licked his bottom lip on a smile, framing my face with his hands and pulling me closer. “Oh, definitely the Med. But let’s charter something private. There are too many dirty things I can think of for us to do on a boat for us to have an audience.”
He covered my laugh with a kiss, holding me tight to him as I did the same. Every sweep of his tongue lit my heart on fire, and I clung to him like I’d never be close enough.
Before I could take that kiss where I really wanted to — which was to unlock my fantasy of being railed on a beach — Jaxson pulled back, holding his phone out again. He turned on the flash and pointed the camera right at me, making me laugh and shield my eyes against the light.
“What are your notes about today, Grace Tanev?”
I smiled on a breath, letting my hands slap against my thighs. “Today, I got a boyfriend.”
“Future husband,” he corrected, which made heat crawl down my neck as I smiled. I knew there was a lot I wanted to do before I had a wedding, a lot I needed to figure out before I could even decide if I wanted babies. But at the same time… I could picture it all with Jax. I could see us eloping to a national park, could see us jumping into a lake and trashing our tux and gown while a photographer caught it all on tape. I could see us raising a family, a little boy or girl who looked just like him.
Stealing the phone from his hand, I leaned against his chest, snuggling in as he draped his arms around me, and I held the camera out to capture us both.
“Tell me something good, Jaxson,” I whispered.
He swallowed, looking down at me instead of at the camera, and he pressed a slow, sweet kiss to my temple.
“I have you.”
