I tightened my black jacket around my waist as I walked through the hospital parking lot. Though only August, the sharp chill in the air required the extra layer, and I was thankful for it. Plus, hospital rooms always seemed to be several degrees cooler than other establishments. Maybe germs didn’t survive well when the temperature dropped. Whatever the reason, the lightweight overcoat was a necessary addition tonight, and I adjusted the fabric while I traipsed through the automatic entrance doors that spread open wide.
Heath had been in the hospital for a week and a half, which was a week and a half longer than he’d hoped. If it were up to him, he’d be at home, recuperating while he prepared lesson plans. But not at his home. There was no way he’d be able to navigate those stairs to his second story apartment.
His roommate, Paul, had been surprisingly incredible this week, helping Boone and me move the majority of Heath’s belongings into my spare bedroom at the other end of the house. Maybe we weren’t at that stage in our relationship yet—the one where our lives intertwined right down to waking and sleeping—but this was the only reasonable solution I could come up with. He would need someone to take care of him, and I was more than willing to be that person.
I passed familiar faces in the hall as I rounded the corner to the elevators. Spending any prolonged amount of time in a hospital made you realize that this was, in fact, home for many people. While it was looking fairly good that Heath might be discharged in a few days, there were others who would be here for months at a time. There were also some who would never leave.
Blessings were constantly showing up for us, just waiting to be counted.
I rode the elevator to his fifth floor and my favorite nurse at the front buzzed me in through the locked double doors.
“Hey, Mallory. Here to see the hottie in 23?”
Even under all the injury, Heath was still one incredibly good looking man and the nursing staff didn’t hesitate to appreciate that.
I flashed a smile. “He’s not sleeping, is he?”
“Even if he is, I’m sure he’ll wake right up once he finds out you’re here. Seriously, that man does not stop talking about you.”
Well then, let’s give him something to talk about.
The halls were quiet this late in the evening. While still visiting hours, it was close enough to dusk that most people had gone home to give the patients a little time for rest. Sharon and Boone had only been available to watch Corbin after a dinner they had planned with friends. I figured Heath would be surprised to see me so late, especially considering both Corbin and I had spent most of the morning by his side, reading board books and watching baby television programs. Nothing brought a contented gleam to Heath’s eyes like being around Corbin, who he had recently affectionately dubbed his “best little buddy.”
I was quickly falling in love with the way he loved him.
My heart swelled with that thought as I rounded the corner to Heath’s room. The blinds on the window were slanted at a degree that made peering into them impossible, but the low light slipping through hinted that he might be awake. I knew that Nico and Natalie were supposed to come by for dinner like they did nearly every day, and it looked like they’d already left for the evening. My fingers lighted on the door and tapped softly.
“Knock, knock?”
He cleared his throat before calling out, “Yeah? Come on in.”
When I toed the door open, the look on Heath’s face was enough to make me melt.
“Mallory!” The sheets rustled around him as he fought to sit up in the inclined bed. “You’re back!” He held out his arms as if to ask for a hug and said, “I thought I didn’t get you again until tomorrow.”
“You know I couldn’t wait that long to see you.”
“Come on over here.” He flapped his hands impatiently. “But first, press that button for me, would you?”
“The one to call the nurse?”
“Yep.”
I knew he tried to stifle it in an effort mask the pain, but Heath groaned as he adjusted his position in the bed. I pressed my finger into the red call button and didn’t let on that I could hear his discomfort.
“Nurse’s station,” a tinny voice echoed through the speaker.
“Hey, I, uh, just wanted to check to see if I need any vitals read anytime soon or if the doctor was going to be making his rounds or anything like that. Because if not, I’d like to rest for a bit without any interruptions.”
“Sure thing, Mr. McBride. You’re all current on your medications and the doctor just finished up his shift. The next one won’t be on for a little while. We’ll leave you alone.”
With a coy wink and smirk that dimpled his cheek, Heath gave me a thumbs-up.
“What do you have planned that needs so much privacy?” I lifted my leg up and over the railing and wedged my body into the space next to Heath on the bed, careful to slide his tubes and IV out of the way.
“Oh, gee, I don’t know.”
Slowly, Heath drew his face nearer to mine and lowered his mouth to my lips. He kissed me tenderly. Brought his hands to my jaw and brushed my cheek with his knuckles. I shivered all the way to my toes and pressed my body to his as much as the bandages and machines and monitors would let me. It wasn’t easy to make out with someone who was hooked up to so many different things. The only way to kiss was with caution. The aggressive build that seemed to come so naturally when we touched was something I fought against each time our lips connected. As badly as I knew he wanted me, the last thing I wanted was to physically hurt him.
While his body was fragile, I figured his eyes were fair game.
I pushed up to prop on my elbow and pulled out of our kiss. With one hand, I tugged at the belt around my waist and loosened it. A nervous blush heated my skin, fluttered my belly.
Heath stilled. His lips parted. “You got something under there for me?” His voice was throaty and raw.
“Maybe.” My heart rammed inside my chest. I pinched my eyes shut, like that might miraculously calm my nerves, but they still floated around in my stomach like a swarm of butterflies. “Please don’t laugh.”
Then, in one movement, I opened the front of my coat and slipped it from my shoulders, letting it fall to the bed. I couldn’t open my eyes. I couldn’t face the disappointment I figured his expression would convey. I shook with anxiety.
“You little thief.” Heath’s finger bopping against my nose made my unwilling eyes spring open. “I told you that was mine!”
My gaze dropped to the pink lace negligée that clung to my trembling body. “Oh yeah? You wear it often?”
“Only when I’m vacuuming. Housework is always more fun when you feel pretty.”
I pushed Heath’s shoulder and felt horrible when he grimaced in pain. “I’m so sorry!” I gasped. “I forgot.”
“It’s okay.” The words gritted through strained teeth. “But seriously, Mallory. You have to remember, I’m hooked up to all kinds of machines, and what you’re doing to my blood pressure and heart rate by wearing that thing is going to shoot it all off the charts. They’ll have the whole nursing staff in here in no time.”
“Oh.” I fumbled for the coat.
“Hey! What are you doing?” Heath pulled the jacket from my hands and threw it to the foot of the hospital bed. “All I said was that we’d set off some alarms. I’m definitely not opposed to that.” Then, scooting as much as he could without falling off the bed completely, Heath lifted the thin sheet and motioned me closer. “Come in here with me, would ya?”
I shuffled over and found the warmth of Heath’s body trapped under the covers.
“Good thing they’re not monitoring you, too, because I know this gown is doing all kinds of things to your heart rate. Nothing sexier than a man in a skirt.”
“Hey, don’t joke. Those Scottish men in kilts are actually pretty hot.”
“True. True.” He nodded his head at the observation. “But the ones with two legs tend to be hotter than the pogo sticks.”
My heart dropped. “Heath. Stop.”
“Mallory. It’s okay. I’ve come to terms with it.” His eyes tightened. “Sort of.”
“This is going to be a huge transition for you, Heath. It’s okay to grieve over it a little.”
“Oh, I’ve done my share of grieving these past couple of weeks, but it hasn’t been over my leg.” Leaning to me so his chin was pressed to the crown of my head, he kissed me softly there and said, “I’ve been grieving that fact that you have been here for me each and every day, Mallory. You’ve been by my side each moment.” His voice vibrated and he coughed to clear it. “I left you. I left you when you were in just as bad of shape. Probably worse. You woke up and I wasn’t there.”
My chest constricted. I took a breath to speak, but Heath talked over me.
“When I woke up and only Hattie was here, I figured it was my turn. My turn to suffer alone. It would only be right.” It stung to hear him speak those words, to think that payback on this sort of level even existed. I didn’t work that way. We didn’t work that way. “But then she’d said that you were the first person here. That you stayed with me until they pretty much forced you to go home and get some rest. Spend time with my little buddy.” I felt his warm tears drop onto my forehead but didn’t wipe them away. He sniffed and said, “I should’ve fought my parents harder. I should’ve made them let me stay. They, of all people, should’ve known how much you needed me during that time.”
“We were kids.” It had become a mantra, a way to excuse our broken history.
“I’m sick of saying that. I loved you then like I love you now, Mallory. And you deserved to feel loved by me. I left you.”
If he’d been in better shape, I would’ve punched him in the gut. Knocked some sense into him. I supposed it would’ve been the same as beating a dead horse, though, all the times we’d gone over this. “We need to stop bringing up the past. We’ve moved on from that. It’s fine. We’re fine.”
“I never moved on. Maybe in my actions, but never in my heart.” His thumb played on my bare shoulder with gentle strokes while he spoke. “I can’t thank you enough for sticking with me, Mallory. I think it’s going to get a lot worse before it gets any better, and I’ll probably be a dick and take out my frustrations on the people who least deserve it, but I need you to know that you being by my side is what makes all of this bearable. I can deal with not having a leg. It sucks, it’s going to be a bitch trying to get around school those first few weeks, it’ll be painful and awful, but I cannot—I absolutely cannot—deal without you.”
“You won’t have to.”
“But I would understand if, at some point, I do.”
My words weren’t sinking in, weren’t providing any confidence where he lacked it, so I took another approach. I moved in closer to Heath. Pushed my chest to his so the silk fabric of my nightie rippled against his skin. Trailed kisses along his strong jaw, dropping my lips to every cut and scrape that blemished him. His lips touched down on mine and we nipped back and forth, shifted forward and back on the thin mattress and squeaky bed frame.
Every movement was slow motion, the way I hiked my leg over his hip and tugged gently at his blond hair. I took caution with every step. His body had been so badly cracked, torn, and abused. I needed my body to heal him, to piece him back together and love him to health.
Had we not been in the hospital, I would have given Heath every part of me, right there. But I could wait on that. He had my heart, my life. Someday he would have all of me. I was his and forever would be.
All he had to do was ask.
