We lose in regulation to Boston, giving up two points. It’s our second loss this week to teams we should have easily beaten, and when I step on the team jet to head home, the mood is thick with frustration. We want to send a message this season. We’re out for blood. Get the fuck out of the way. It’s our year.
Jack is sitting in my seat. He and Tyler are watching film from the game.
“Sorry, man. Two seconds,” Jack says to me, holding out a tablet between him and Tyler.
“Nah, it’s good.” I pass by them and stop next to Morrison a few rows back.
He looks up from his phone and nods his head.
I drop into the seat next to him and glance at his screen. His little boy has his face smushed up close, talking, though I can’t make out what he’s saying.
Smiling, I pull out my phone to text Jade, then realize how late it is. Every time we lose on the road, she sends me a single message with only the middle finger emoji. It cracks me up.
Morrison says his goodbyes to his wife and son and then turns to me. “Sorry, man. I couldn’t find my headphones.”
“Nah, you’re cool.”
He sets his phone on his lap. The wallpaper is a picture of him and his family. The three of them are all smiles.
“Isn’t it late for him?” I ask.
“His sleep schedule is all fucked up,” he says, like I know what a sleep schedule is.
Even though most of my friends have settled down, and some are even engaged, their lives don’t feel that different from mine. Kids. That’s a whole other level.
It makes me wonder what the future might be like with Jade. We could travel in the off-season. I can take her to all the places she’s ever dreamed of going. More weekends and fun with our friends. Maybe kids at some point. I’ve never really let myself daydream about all that—my own family, but I like the idea a whole lot.
I can’t sleep on the plane, even though I’m dog tired. I’m too anxious to get home. By the time we land, and I make the drive to my house, all I want is to see my girl and then sleep for twelve hours. In that order.
I pull the Ferrari into the garage and cut the engine. My muscles protest as I unfold myself from the car. Everything seems to hurt worse after a loss.
The house is quiet, and I move softly, so I don’t wake her. I took a puck to the side of the leg last night and it left a nasty bruise.
I find her in the bedroom, but pause when she isn’t asleep like I expected. Her laptop sits in front of her, and she has on headphones. My movement startles her, and she jumps, then hits me with a big smile as she tosses her computer and headphones to the side and scrambles up to say hello.
“Hey, baby. You’re awake.”
“Of course.” She climbs me, wrapping her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist. “For seven whole days you’re mine!”
She squeezes me and her hands dig into another sore spot on my body. I don’t manage to cover my wince and Jade immediately drops down. “Are you okay?”
“Little banged up. Nothing a hot shower and ice pack won’t fix.”
“Are you tired?”
I shake my head. The last thing I want is to go to bed. I’m so excited to be home for the week. Leaving Jade gets harder each trip. Each time I’m a little more eager to come home to her.
I think of Morrison and his little boy. That has to be brutal, not seeing your kid every day. Though there are probably perks too. I see how the guys with families light up on family skate nights, watching their kids take the ice, knocking a puck around together.
“Good.” She kisses me and I pull her down onto the bed. We make quick work of our clothing and then Jade pushes me onto my back and scoots down my body.
“Whatcha doing, baby?” I ask, voice gruff as she kneels between my legs.
“Making sure you get a win tonight.” Her lips curve into a smile and then she’s taking me into her mouth before I can tell her that finding her in my bed waiting for me is all the win I need. Though, I’m not opposed to another.
Jade makes the sexiest noises while taking me to the back of her throat and swirling her tongue along my piercing. Her mouth is perfection, and I don’t want to stop her, but I can’t wait another second to be inside her.
Lifting her, I bring her on top of me. She eases down on my dick and then stills.
“Always so good,” she whispers, staring down at me. “Are you sure you’re real?”
“Pretty sure.” I lean up and lightly bite her nipple. She moans, so I do it again, then give the other one a little nibble too.
I can tell she wants me to continue, but she pushes me back down to the mattress and starts to ride me. Slow at first, driving me to the brink of insanity with the need to come. Her fingers dig into my chest as she increases the pace.
Only when I can tell she’s close, do I take over, sitting up again and kissing her while I use my hold on her hips to drive us both over the edge.
“Declan,” she mumbles as her orgasm continues to send spasms through her body.
“Jade.” I nip at her shoulder. “Baby. I’m real. This is real.”
The next morning, I wake up at my usual time, despite wanting to sleep in. Jade’s in the shower, so I get dressed and head downstairs to make breakfast before she has to go to work.
I don’t have to go to the arena today. My plans are to put the finishing touches on the upstairs hall bathroom. I need to switch out the faucet, change the doorhandle, and touch up the paint in a few places. I bought a clawfoot tub that should be here any day, and then it will be complete. Jade almost always uses my bathroom now, but I couldn’t resist getting her the tub of her dreams.
I scramble eggs, fry the turkey bacon (Jade replaced the real stuff), make some toast, and then cut up a cantaloupe. I’m more of a protein shake guy most mornings because it’s faster, but I could see myself making breakfast for her like this on all my days off.
When everything is ready, Jade still isn’t downstairs. I make coffee, grab a cup, and move toward the living room. As I pass by the counter, a stack of papers catches my eye.
The contract format makes me do a double take. I set my mug down next to it and pick up the papers. I scan quickly, brain racing to figure out what it is I’m reading. Then, flip back to the first page and start over. The hell?
“Good morning!” Jade’s chipper voice behind me catches me by surprise and I whirl around, contract still in hand.
“What is this?” I hold up the papers.
Her eyes widen and her smile falls. “I was going to talk to you about that.”
She takes the papers from me and moves into the kitchen to get her own mug of coffee.
“A reality show?” I ask, following her.
“Do you remember the woman, Olivia, we met at the charity dinner we went to with Leo and Scarlett?”
“Yeah, vaguely.”
“She’s the publicist for the show and thought I’d make a good addition.” She takes a sip of her drink before facing me.
“You’re not going to do it, right?”
“I said no,” she says, but something in her tone still has me on guard.
“But you want to do it?”
“It’s a lot of money. Plus, the possible exposure.”
I brace my hands on the counter. “We don’t need the money.”
“You don’t,” she clarifies. “But I barely make enough to cover my monthly expenses.”
“I can cover whatever you need.”
“For now, but what about in seven months when this is over?”
When it’s over?
“I wasn’t aware we had an expiration date.” My pulse is racing and my body tenses.
“You know what I mean. We agreed to stay married for a year. After that, even if we’re dating, I wouldn’t expect you to pay my way.”
I have no idea what to say. It feels like a punch straight through the chest. I’ve fallen in love with her. I’m not looking at the end of our agreement like my out. I’m in this.
“Say something, please,” she says.
“If you do the show, what does that look like?” I wave a hand around the room. “Cameras following us around everywhere we go and in our home?”
“Just me, but yes.”
“Like I don’t live here too,” I mutter. I’d have to tiptoe around my own damn house.
“We can set boundaries. Olivia promised that you wouldn’t need to appear in any shots if you weren’t on board and that it wouldn’t disrupt your schedule.”
“Jesus, you’re seriously considering this?”
“No.” She shakes her head. “Yes. I don’t know. It feels like I should if you’re not completely opposed.”
My brain spins, trying to decide if I’m wrong for not wanting her to do this.
“I know that you don’t like it, but can you at least think about how good this could be for me?”
“What about your job at the magazine?”
“I would keep it, at least until I figure out my next move.”
“I’ll give you the money right now. Take time off, write a book or whatever you want. You don’t need to do this.”
“I don’t want your money.” Her voice rises. “I want to do this on my own. I want to be something. This feels like my shot. I know you don’t want this thing between us to interfere with hockey, but maybe we can work it so that it doesn’t?”
I turn and run a hand through my hair.
She circles around me. “You’re telling me that you didn’t make sacrifices to get where you are?”
“It isn’t the same and you know it.”
“I can’t take back the mistakes I’ve made. I’m here and I’m just trying to make the most of it.”
“We’re a mistake now?”
“No.” She reaches for my arm, but I pull away.
“You’re choosing to let someone else help you, when I’m offering. I don’t get it. I want to help you and I’m not going to make you sell your soul or dignity to do it.”
“My dignity?” She looks downright pissed off. I guess that makes two of us.
“I love you!” I basically bellow the words at her.
Her wild eyes grow larger, and her mouth hangs slightly open, but she says nothing.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. This is not how I saw this morning going. It isn’t how I wanted to tell her that I love her and want to plan a future together. But from the look on her face and lack of response, we aren’t on the same page anyway.
Letting out a breath, I say, “I’m gonna take a walk.”
“Wait.” Desperation clings to her voice.
I stop in my tracks and look back at her. Her eyes plead with me, but she doesn’t say anything else.
“You can do whatever you want, Jade. You obviously have a plan for your life. Just do me a favor and figure out if I’m in it.”
