Three days. Sawyer had been MIA for three days. I’d been forced to tell Sage about my attack six years ago, because she was wondering why we were sleeping at Sawyer’s and he was gone. He must have told his parents, because they didn’t issue a missing persons alert; everything was just very quiet. I went to class, I ate lunch. I looked normal on the outside but inside there was a war going on. Where was he? Was he safe? Did he kill Vicon? Or maybe he was just going to mess him up a little, or scare him by leaving dead rabbits on his bed or something. Yeah … but then I remembered when he said that I was the only person who should have survived that night and fuck, I couldn’t sleep very well or eat very much, I just wanted to know he was okay. All I knew was that Walsh was missing too and there was comfort in the fact that he wasn’t alone.
The females on campus were a ball of nerves as well. The day after Sawyer left it was announced that he’d chosen his future mate and wife early, and would be announcing it this weekend at a special ceremony. I hadn’t really put two and two together and realized that by picking me we had to get married … or his entire family would die.
No fucking pressure.
Basically it was just another Wednesday.
I tapped my foot, finally all healed and sans walking boot, as Sage chewed a fingernail.
“He said a few days. It’s been three,” I whispered.
Sage nodded, leaning into the table. “He’s probably staked out where that asshole lives, where he works, stolen a keycard so he can get into his place of residence without breaking in… It’s a lot of work to covertly assassinate vampire royalty.”
My eyes widened and I blinked at her a few times. “You think he really is going to … kill him?”
Sage scoffed. “Only one hundred and fifty percent.”
Okay, okay … that was … I mean, did I want that raping asshole to live and do this to another girl? No. But killing him … it was dangerous and Sawyer was basically royalty too, so if he got caught…
My voice shook: “Why didn’t he just send a team or something?”
Sage raised an eyebrow. “Sawyer is in love with you, Demi. He’s not going to send a team to enact revenge and fight for your honor, he’ll want to do that himself.” She laid a hand over mine. “Besides, his wolf has probably taken over anyway. All rational thought is gone.”
Oh great.
Fuck.
I’d told Sage that he’d confessed his love for me but not about the curse. I also hadn’t told her that I was some freak split shifter. Now that my cuffs were off again, I wondered if my smell, or whatever attracted the vampires to me in the first place, was sending a beacon that said “kidnap me and drain my blood.”
“Holy shit,” Sage whisper-screamed and pointed to the cafeteria door. Walsh and Sawyer had just walked in, backpacks slung around their shoulders like it was just another school day. Sawyer scanned the tables, and when he saw me he broke into a grin and walked over.
My heart thumped in my throat as he casually sat next to me and pulled a tater tot off my plate, popping it into his mouth.
“Uhhh, hey,” I said.
“Hey.” He smiled like he was happy and he hadn’t been missing for three days.
Sage cleared her throat. “So … did you, uh, do that thing?”
Walsh and Sawyer shared a look, both grinning. “We had a wonderfully productive hunting trip, thank you for asking.”
Hunting trip.
Oh my God … he killed Vicon Drake.
The eight a.m. bell dinged and everyone around us stood. Sawyer leaned into my ear and whispered, “He’s never going to hurt you again, Demi. Or anyone else.” Then pulled back and tucked a few strands of blond hair behind my ear. “I’ll see you tonight?”
All I could do was nod. I guess when an alpha werewolf was in love with you, killing your attacker was a normal thing I would have to get used to.
“Nope. I have that surprise for Demi, remember?” Sage widened her eyes at him in a knowing, conspiratorial look.
Sawyer nodded, giving her a smile.
My brows drew together. “What is this surprise?”
Sawyer and Sage shared a look, and knowing smiles, but said nothing.
“It’s just a little something to make you happy. It was supposed to happen the day you went to the waterfall but…”
Yeah, that turned into a shitshow.
“Well … I look forward to said surprise.” Not really, I hated surprises, but if it was from the two of them, I was sure I’d love it.
I stood, and Sawyer leaned down to grab my backpack, handing it to me like a gentlemen. I noticed Meredith and a few others glaring daggers from the table nearby.
“See you … later.” I shifted awkwardly, and half waved to Sawyer.
With a halfcocked smirk, he leaned forward and grabbed the back of my neck, pulling me in for a kiss. I prepared for a light peck, but when I felt the wetness of a tongue, I opened my lips to deepen it, my tongue tangling with his for a moment before he pulled away.
“See you later.” He winked, and then walked away, leaving me the most hated girl in the school.
And I didn’t even care.
Sage and I walked out together and went our separate ways. She went to the security building for her training and I went to the arts building. As I walked, two guards trailed behind me. Quan and Brandon this time.
My mind slowly processed what just happened, the fact that Sawyer killed Vicon.
His words replayed on a loop inside my head and pinged around my soul, settling in my heart.
He’s never going to hurt you again, Demi. Or anyone else.
For the past six years, I never once thought that he could be doing this on the regular. That he would hurt another girl … I assumed since that “wild animal” had murdered three of his friends for raping me, he’d have been scared off. But what if he wasn’t … what if…?
The thought made me sick. I should have pushed harder for him to be arrested, I should have gone to the alpha maybe … but being banished, I had no rights.
My chest constricted as heavy emotions welled up inside of my body.
He’s dead.
He couldn’t hurt me or anyone else again.
Sawyer went hunting and slayed my nightmares. Tears leaked from my eyes as the reality hit me and I diverted from the open classroom door to the bathroom. Luckily, there was no one inside, because the moment I burst in the open doors I broke out in sobs. Rushing to the large bathroom stall, I opened it and slipped inside, sliding against the door to fall on my butt.
Vicon Drake stole something from me.
My virginity, my innocence, my youth, my safety, my ability to trust, everything. I’d shoved it all down because it was the only way to survive, but now that he was gone, it bubbled up to the surface, begging to be freed.
Before I could even think about it, I felt my wolf stir, and then she was walking out of my body, like a spectral ghost, becoming semisolid within seconds. It didn’t really hurt anymore, it was just a tightness on my skin and then she was there. No tearing of my clothes or fur on my arms. It’s like we were learning to become more and more separate. She turned and looked at me with those patient yellow eyes.
‘It was me that night. I’m sorry I couldn’t get the last one.’ Her voice was mine but deeper, and it hit me. She was the darkest part of me, split off to help me survive. She held all of those memories of that night, the ones I blacked out. She held them for me so I didn’t have to deal with them.
“Thank you,” I sobbed, and reached out to her as she nestled into my open arms and I wrapped her in a hug. I might be a demon, or a split shifter, or whatever the hell these fairy tales called me, but my wolf saved me that night. As far as I was concerned, I was a fucking survivor.
I legitimately had no idea what this surprise was. My mind was still chewing on the fact that Sawyer had straight-up disappeared for three days and killed Prince Drake. Sage drove me all around campus for thirty minutes, confusing me as to what this surprise was, and then turned the car around and parked back at the dorms.
I looked at her. “Woman, what in the hell are you doing?”
She grinned. “I had to waste time while your surprise was set up in your room.”
Emotion clogged my throat, she was clearly going to painstaking lengths to give me something, and that really touched me. I didn’t grow up with many friends. Mostly just Raven, and so having Sage here meant the world to me. She went to get out of the car and I grabbed her arm.
She looked back at me with her beautiful red hair splayed around her shoulders and I swallowed hard. “Thanks for being so awesome. Seriously, I couldn’t have survived the past few months without you.”
She grinned, and she looked a little like Sawyer when she smiled. “I always wanted a sister, and when you marry Sawyer, it will be close enough.”
I chuckled. “Well, he hasn’t technically proposed yet.”
And the very thought simultaneously had nerves crawling up my spine and excitement thrumming through my belly.
Sage looked back at me, halfway out of the car. “You know when you’re not around what he calls you to Walsh, and me, and all his guy friends? What he called you the day he ordered us to get you out of that shithole school and end your banishment?”
My stomach tightened into knots. “Wolf Girl?”
“‘My future wife.’” She emphasized the wife. “Hey, Sage, go get my future wife out of Delphi. Hey guys, I need to buy my future wife a camera, what is the best one? He’s never called you by your name, Demi. Not to me, or any of the guys he hangs with.”
A lightness fell over me, a pure feeling that I’d never felt before. It started deep inside of my gut and then grew upward until it feathered out of my chest and into my arms.
I’d never felt loved before. The guys at Delphi hit on me and I knew Isaac was attracted to me, but this feeling, feeling adored and loved and wanted, I’d never felt it in a relationship with a guy before.
With that, she left the car and beckoned for me to follow. I wiped at my eyes and scrambled after her.
“Did I mention I’m not a fan of surprises?” I ran after Sage, ducking into the dorm and down our hallway as she waved me closer.
“Hurry, we only have an hour!” she called out and checked her watch.
What in the world? Something was waiting for me in my room and we only had an hour to enjoy it? Was it an ice cream cake? Or make an ice sculpture… Or maybe—
Sage threw open the door and yelled, “Surprise!”
When I saw my mother, father, and Raven standing in my apartment, I burst into sobs.
“Those are good tears, right? I did good right?” Sage asked, frowning in confusion.
I reached out and tackle-hugged her, nearly knocking her over. “You did so good.”
When I pulled back, she was grinning. “Sawyer had to beg his dad, they can only stay for an hour.”
I nodded, so overwhelmed with emotion, and she turned to leave.
“No, stay. I want you to meet them.” I pulled her hand.
Her face brightened, green eyes alight. “You sure?”
I nodded. “Absolutely.”
We stepped into the room and closed the door.
My mom, dad and Raven were patiently waiting for me, standing in front of my couch. My dad was full-on crying; he was the emotional one. My mom was grinning, trying to look unemotional, but I saw the glisten in her eyes. Raven just looked around my room in wonder.
“Holy shifter balls, your dorm is amazing,” she said, causing my mom to shoot her a glare and she winced. “I mean holy shifter ball-oons, this dorm is amazing.”
I grinned, crashing into my bestie as she wrapped her arms around me. Her sage, frankincense, and lavender scent surrounded me; I missed that smell so damn much. That smell that said she was working all day on her spell work. “Holy crap I’ve missed you.”
I pulled away and introduced her to Sage.
“We already know each other.” Sage gave her a hug and I frowned.
Raven nodded. “She stole your phone and got my number and we’ve been texting to arrange this.”
I grinned at Sage, unable to keep from smiling. The two of them started talking and I moved to my father, who when I hugged him lifted me off the ground and spun me around. “I missed you so much, kiddo.”
Even at twenty-one years old, he still called me kiddo and I wondered if he always would. He set me down and picked up my wrists to look at my cuff-less arms. “You’re free.” A tear slid from his cheek and he quickly wiped it away.
I swallowed hard. I was free, but not really able to shift in front of others because I was a split shifter. But I wasn’t going to tell him that. I just nodded, smiling and giving him this moment. When I got to my mother, she was grinning ear to ear. Reaching out, she smoothed my hair like she had a hundred times. “This place suits you.” She looked around my dorm. “Never thought I would be back. Lexington was my dorm too. Room four.”
My eyes widened and I smiled. “That’s cool.”
My mom leaned into me and lowered her voice. “So tell me about Sawyer.”
I couldn’t help the full-fledged grin that graced my face. “He’s … perfect. Protective and respectful and sweet. I didn’t really expect him to be a nice guy.”
My mom chuckled. “Sounds like his father. Curt was a nice guy.” Something dark crossed her features and she frowned.
Then I remembered that she was banished Curt’s mating year, and I suddenly found myself wondering why. She must have read my mind, because her gaze flicked to my dad, who nodded, and then she looked back at me. “Can we talk privately in your room? I need to tell you something.”
The room pressed in on me, becoming smaller and smaller, and I nodded.
Holy crap. This was it, this was the moment when she was going to tell me why she got kicked out.
Breathe, just breathe.
I always secretly thought my dad murdered someone, or something really dark, to get our entire family banished from Werewolf City. Now I would hear the truth.
She stepped into my room and I shut the door behind me. She sat on the edge of my bed and patted the spot next to her. Seeing her sitting there, her long beautiful blond hair in a thick braid over one shoulder, I couldn’t help but remark at how much we looked alike. But there was stress behind her eyes, something that aged her more than her forty-two years, but damn she was still gorgeous.
We sat there a moment, just being in stillness, until finally my mother took my hand and faced me. “Your grandmother’s land, the land I grew up on in Werewolf City, bordered the Paladin Wild Lands.” My body went rigid, as I had no idea the Paladin’s would factor into this story.
“The Paladins are a rival pack, absolutely hated by the alpha and expressly forbidden to have contact with,” she told me.
I nodded, indicating she go on. She had no idea I already knew who the Paladins were or that I’d met one and he’d saved my life.
“But I was just a kid, I didn’t know that. So at nine years old when my foot got stuck in the barn slats while I was feeding the chickens, I wailed for help but my mom was vacuuming and couldn’t hear me.”
I leaned closer, desperate for this story. “But another boy did. He was eleven, and he burst into the barn wearing some kind of caveman getup and holding a spear.”
She smiled at the memory, and I immediately was reminded of the nice Paladin man who’d saved me and how he’d dressed so barbaric.
“I was frightened of him at first, but when he pried my leg free I gave him some fresh eggs for the trouble. Soon after that, we met at the border flags every day and exchanged gifts and told stories. He became my best friend.”
Holy shit, this was not what I expected. Would they banish my mom for having a Paladin best friend? That’s a bit insane.
I leaned forward. “What happened?”
My mom looked away, and when she turned back to me her cheeks were red. “His name was Running Spirit, but I just called him Run.” She smiled at the memory. “We grew older and his body started to change. He went from a boy to a man.”
Ohhh, so that’s where this story is going. I braced myself.
She blushed, seemingly lost in memories.
“On my fifteenth birthday, he kissed me and I fell in love with him. He was seventeen and said he would be going away for a while. Some kind of Paladin rite. He was the son of the alpha and needed to prove himself on some type of vision quest or something. He asked me if I would wait for him and I said yes.”
My heartbeat thundered in my chest and I nodded. “What happened? How long was he gone?” The story enthralled me completely.
My mom sighed. “Too long. I waited every day by the back fence for three years until I got my letter that Curt Hudson wanted me to attend Sterling Hill because it was his mate selection year.”
Three years? Holy crap, that was too long. Did he die?
Sadness crossed her face. “I had to choose to wait for him or go follow my dream of going to college. As you know, it was free, and this would be my only chance to get this kind of education and make a better life for your grandmother and me. I grew up poor and we had a small farm, but it wasn’t enough, even with the handouts from Wolf City … it was a hard life.”
A tear slipped out from my eye because I’d never heard this story and I couldn’t imagine having to choose between something like that. I’d never met my grandmother, but I spoke to her a few times on the phone before she passed away over a decade ago. Every picture we had of her she wore a dirty apron and was cooking or milking a cow. Now I understood why. I guess it was a lie to think every wolf inside the city borders was rich and taken care of.
“What happened, Mom? You can tell me.”
She swallowed hard and nodded. “I lied to you about not making the top twenty with Curt…”
I froze. Okay … was not expecting that. Oh Lord, please don’t tell me she had an affair with Curt and Sawyer was my half-brother or some shit.
She must have read my mind, because she laughed nervously. “I never even kissed him.”
All the air I’d been holding released from me in a rush, but she chewed her bottom lip. “I met your father the first day of class here. I liked him right away. Smart, funny, and cute. He kept his distance romantically because of the mating selection, but there was an undeniable chemistry there.”
I smiled thinking of my mom and dad falling in love.
“We started to meet in the library late at night to study. His hand would brush mine or I’d find an excuse to touch him. We quickly realized we were falling for each other, and I had somehow made it to the top five.”
Oh God, talk about awkward! “What did you do?”
Her lips puffed out as she blew air through them.
“Well, I’m not proud of this, but … on Christmas break I went home to visit my mom … and Run was waiting for me in the barn.”
I gasped. “Wait? What? He was back?”
She nodded, chewing her lip in anxiety. “He was back, he was alpha, and he was insanely good looking.”
I gulped, my heart torn at the story.
“Why was he gone so long?” I suddenly felt like I was watching a soap opera and needed to know every detail.
My mom shrugged. “We didn’t do much talking…” She let that sentence linger and my eyes went wide.
“I was dating Curt, falling in love with your father, and already in love with Run. I was a mess, so confused, and when he kissed me, all of that fell away and … we made love right there in the barn for the first time.” She winced.
Okay, embarrassing to hear my mom say that, but I needed to hear this story. “Wow,” was all I could think of to say.
She nodded. “I guess Curt was suspicious that I was secretly dating your father, so he had me followed, and a guard caught us in the barn.”
Oh shit. Plot twist. “Did they arrest you?”
She pulled her hand from mine and walked to the window. The curtains were closed but she stared at them and rubbed her temples.
“He was a Paladin, Demi. They killed him. Right there in front of me. Said he was trespassing and called it rape.”
Bile rose in my throat. To misuse that word made anger rise up in me so strongly I felt dizzy.
“Oh, Mom, I’m so sorry.” I stood and stepped closer to meet her at the window and she spun around.
“I’m not done, Demi.” She held out her hand as if she didn’t want me to come closer. Tears lined her eyes, but she blinked them back. I’d never seen my mom cry. Every sad movie we watched, my father cried with me but not my mom. She was the rock of the family, and seeing her eyes well up now shook me.
“I couldn’t let Run go like that, let them smear his name and call him a rapist.”
I nodded and she took a deep breath. “I told Curt what happened, that I’d known Run since he was eleven and that it was consensual, that it was my first time with him and that I loved him.” She pressed her palms to her eyelids and came away with smudged make-up and wet cheeks. “He was so mad, so furious that I chose a Paladin over him, that he banished me right there. He said he’d fallen in love with me during the selection, I had no idea.”
Holy shit … Curt must have really loved my mom … not that this was any way to treat someone you loved, but it explained the anger.
“I rushed to my dorm to pack my things,” my mom said. “Wondering what I would do for food and shelter, wondering how I could live in a human world alone … when your dad showed up to my dorm.” This time a sob escaped her and she clutched her chest. “He said he heard of my banishment and couldn’t bear to think of me out in the human world all alone. He told me he’d fallen in love with me somewhere during those late nights in the library and asked me to marry him.”
Now I was crying too. That was so my dad, such a sweetheart and always doing the right thing. Wow, my mom had three guys in love with her at the same time. Talk about drama.
“I told your father about Run and he said he didn’t care, that he knew I would grow to love him in time and we could take it slow.”
“That’s so Dad,” I half sobbed, and she nodded, smiling and wiping back tears.
“We took it slow, but I quickly fell in love with him. You know your father, there isn’t much not to love. He provided for us while I went to community college and got my teaching degree.”
I smiled, feeling lightness in my chest. This story was bad, but not as bad as I feared, and it just made me love my parents more.
“Thanks for telling me, Mom.” I went to hug her and she held up a hand.
I froze, a stone sinking in my gut.
“Demi, one month into living outside of Wolf City, we found out I was pregnant.” Her voice shook and I blinked back shock. What was she saying?
Her cheeks reddened. “Your father and I hadn’t been intimate all the way like that yet, and so … Demi, you’re half Paladin,” she blurted out.
The world swam around me as dizziness took over. What? Run was … my dad wasn’t my real father?
“No!” she growled. “Don’t you do that, don’t you fucking dare.” She cursed for the first time ever and it scared the shit out of me. “I see what you’re thinking. That man out there…” She pointed to the living room. “He pulled you from between my legs when you were born, he cut your umbilical cord, he changed every diaper, he stayed when most men would leave. That man is your father.”
I nodded, tears slipping down my cheeks as my chest tightened. She was right of course, but I couldn’t help but think of poor Run, who might have been a great father had he been given the chance. Still, it wouldn’t change my feelings for my dad, who I just loved more now after hearing this story. “Dad knows?”
She nodded. “Of course, I tell him everything. Demi … I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. It’s such a painful story for me and it doesn’t really matter. We started a family a little sooner than planned but that’s it. End of discussion. You were wanted. You were conceived in love and born of love and—oofh.”
I crashed into her, squeezing her so hard the breath rushed out of her lungs and into my ear.
“And I totally understand,” I told her, my voice breaking. Her arms wrapped around me and we held each other for a long while, until we finally pulled away, wiping our eyes.
“Do I look like a racoon?” she asked, wiping at some smudged mascara.
I grinned. “Just a little bit racoon.” I reached out and wiped some more black off of her cheeks.
She sighed. “That was heavy, but I feel better.”
I laughed. “I agree, we need ice cream immediately.”
And with that we joined everyone else in the main room. Sage ordered ice cream sundaes for all of us and I sat next to my dad, leaning into him so he could wrap his arm around me. When Sage was showing my mom and Raven something on the TV, I leaned in closely to my dad and whispered in his ear. “I’m so lucky you’re my father. I love you so much, Dad.”
He swallowed hard, a tear slipping from his eye as he pulled me in for a hug. “I love you too, kiddo. You and your mother are my whole world.”
I tried not to think about Curt banishing my mom and how unfair that was. I tried not to think of the nice Paladin man who got beheaded because of me when I fell down the mountain. I really tried not to think about what Sawyer would do if he found out what I was. I just let my dad hold me, and pretended everything was going to be okay.
After seeing my parents and Raven out to a car that Quan was driving, I thanked Sage for the surprise and slipped back into my apartment. Sawyer asked me to come over after, but I couldn’t; I needed to absorb the fact that I was half Paladin, that I was born of the blood of Sawyer’s family’s mortal enemies.
I looked down at my phone. I wanted to text him or PM him on Insta, but he wasn’t big on technology and social media. His WolfDude_4 profile only existed to like and comment on my photos.
Taking a deep breath, I called him instead.
“Hey, beautiful. You coming over?” he answered and I smiled.
“Actually I’m kinda wiped out emotionally. I was just calling to see if tomorrow was okay to meet up instead.”
“Are you okay?” His voice was suddenly protective and alert.
I nodded, and then remembered he couldn’t see me. “Yeah. Just some heavy stuff with my mom.”
“Oh,” he sighed. “I thought you would like having them here. Otherwise, I never would have gotten it approved.”
“No, I do. I have a really good relationship with my parents. It’s just…” I really wanted to tell Sawyer, but I didn’t think he could handle this and still love me, so I told a half truth. “Do you know why my mom was banished?”
His sharp intake of breath told me everything I needed to know. “Yes. She had a love affair with a Paladin during my father’s selection year.”
I winced. When he said it like that, it sounded bad, but hearing my mother tell the story was different. His words were true, but it wasn’t my mother’s fault she loved a kind man who she’d known since childhood.
“Sawyer?”
“Yeah.”
“Why do you guys hate the Paladins so much?”
He was silent a moment, then he breathed into the phone long and deep. “You know that story I told you about the curse that witch put on my family one thousand years ago?”
My heart threatened to jump out of my throat. “Yes,” I croaked.
Don’t say it. Don’t say what I think you are about to.
“Well, that woman was half Danai and half Paladin wolf, their alpha.”
Fuck. The Danai were the dark witches…
“So the Paladins are … like the Ithaki? Hybrids? They have female alphas?”
I’d never heard of such a thing; my head spun. Ithaki were fey hybrids, and Paladins were wolf ones. Holy shit.
“Yes. But the witch bloodline has obviously diluted over a millennium. Should I come over? We can talk about this more.” He sounded concerned.
My mind spun with all of this knowledge, but I shook my head. “No. No, I’m tired, I just want to process this and sleep.”
“Okay, yeah. See you at breakfast?” He sounded hopeful.
“See you then.”
When he hung up, I looked down at my hands and wondered if there was a way to see if I had any witch blood inside of me.
Obviously not. Oh my God, Sawyer would never marry me if he knew what I was…
My mind shuffled through all of this information until about one a.m. when I finally passed out from exhaustion.
