Thirty minutes after Colt left, I walked out on to the porch and held out the PB&J to Cheese. “Sandwich?”
He looked up from the paper he was reading while sitting out on the screened-in porch. Smiling, he didn’t appear at all perturbed to be my babysitter. “Thanks,” he said, taking the plate from me.
I sat down in the chair next to him. “I didn’t know anyone still read an actual paper.”
He chewed for a moment and then swallowed. “I like it. Makes me feel like I’m still connected to something tangible. That’s weird, right?”
“No. Not at all. So how did you get suckered into watching me?”
“I didn’t get suckered. It was an order, and I’m glad to do it. It’s an honor.”
“Why?”
He frowned. “Why what?”
“Why is it an honor?”
“Because you’re Prez’s woman.”
“I think you’ve been misinformed. Colt and I barely know each other. I’m staying here until Zip can get my truck and I can get out of town.”
“You can’t drive a truck with your wrist the way it is.” He nodded at my arm. “You know that, though.”
“Yeah, I do. About that other thing you said? I’m not Colt’s woman,” I insisted.
He looked at me long and hard. “Prez is not a man who invites women to his home. You could’ve stayed at the clubhouse. Or with Zip.”
“Heard about that, did you?” I asked in amusement.
What the hell had Colt told his brothers? What was I missing?
“Can I ask you a question?” I asked, wanting to change the subject.
“Sure.”
“What made you decide to become a Blue Angel? I mean, what was the appeal?”
He paused for a moment and leaned over to rest his elbow on his thigh. “I didn’t have a lot growing up. Dad has chronic back pain and he’s on disability. He spends it all on booze and pills. Mom does the best she can, but she works at the Winn Dixie—a cashier. There was never enough, but we made do. Shopping at thrift stores, coupons, that sort of stuff.
“Last year, my eleven-year-old brother came home from school with a black eye. He got into a fight because some kid called him trailer trash. We grew up in a trailer, so I know what it’s like to be taunted at school, you know? Kids are mean. They hear their parents say shit. They repeat it even if they don’t know what it means.
“I asked Silas why the fight started. You know what he told me? The kids were making fun of him because his jeans were too short and they could see his socks. He didn’t tell Mom about having outgrown his pants because he knew there wasn’t money to get him new ones. Not at the rate he was growing.” He shook his head. “As a member of the club I can provide for my brother.”
“You could’ve joined a different club,” I said, my heart breaking for the little boy that had been picked on. “Why the Blue Angels?”
“Because of what they do for the community. I knew if I joined the Blue Angels, I wouldn’t be earning a living in a normal way that people understand. Not a respectable nine to five. There are risks that come with being in the club, but what’s life without a little risk? But this is more than that. The reward is more than just financial security. I’ve got a family now, one I wasn’t born into, one that’s been made. And I can take care of Silas.”
I pondered his words. “What about your brother? Are you going to let him grow up in this world?”
“As opposed to…”
I blinked. “A world without bikers?”
“So he can learn what, exactly? Listen, it’s easy to judge what you don’t understand. It’s easy to judge what doesn’t fit into a conventional box. But here’s the thing. Our world isn’t normal. It isn’t widely accepted. And that’s okay. You just have to live your life and follow your gut.”
“How old are you, Cheese?” I asked.
“Twenty six.”
“How’d you get to be so wise?”
He smiled and looked down, appearing bashful. “Life’s too short, Mia, to live it for anyone else. Just remember that.”
Nodding, I got up from the chair to head back inside. “You can come in, you know. Hang out, watch TV.”
“Thanks.” He smiled, looking too boyish to be a biker. “But I’ve got my orders to stay outside.”
“Well, I’ll leave you to it, then.”
I had plans to leave him alone, but I wanted to take a shower before Joni showed up. And to do that, I needed someone to Saran wrap my cast. That had been Colt’s job. A sudden stab of loneliness at his absence caught me by surprise.
With a sigh, I went into the kitchen and grabbed the supplies before heading back out onto the porch. “Will you help me?” I asked Cheese.
“Sure.”
While he wrapped my cast I asked, “So, how did you get the nickname Cheese?”
“It’s not a nickname,” he corrected. “It’s a road name.”
“Right. How did you get the road name Cheese?”
“On the night of my initiation, the boys dared me to eat an entire block of cheddar cheese.”
“That’s a weird form of hazing.”
“It was all in good fun.”
“Did you do it?” I asked in amusement.
“Hell yeah, I did it.” He grinned. “The fuckers made fun of me all the next day because I didn’t leave the bathroom.”
“Charming,” I said with a snort.
Placing a final rubber band around my cast he said, “There ya go.”
“Thanks. What’s your real name?”
“Chester,” he said, his tone serious.
Well, at least I understood why he went by Cheese.
I headed back inside and took a fast shower. I was just pulling on a pair of new jeans and a red T-shirt when Joni arrived. With a smile, I offered her a cup of coffee, which she accepted.
“You didn’t have to come over and entertain me,” I said, placing the half-and-half in front of her.
“I know,” she said. “Though I have to say it’s not completely altruistic.”
“You want to grill me, don’t you?”
“Yep.”
“Sister’s prerogative, I guess,” I said with a smile.
“Definitely.” She tapped the rim of her coffee mug. “I’m just going to get down to it. Okay?”
I nodded.
“I think Colt wants to keep you.”
“What’s that now?”
“Keep you. Like, for good.”
“You can’t keep a person. I’m not a sheep in a petting zoo. You don’t just—what are you even saying right now?”
She took a sip of her coffee. “Let me give you a little insight to Colt, okay?”
I nodded, my heart pounding in my ears.
“He hasn’t been the same since our dad died. And that was nineteen years ago.”
“He told me,” I said slowly. “About your dad’s death.”
“Did he.” It sounded like a statement and not a question. “Well, that only confirms my suspicions. You got through his wall. Somehow, you did. In a short time, too. I’ve already seen him smile more, laugh more in two days than he has in years. And I know that’s because of you.”
Her words made me uncomfortable.
“I’ve never seen him behave this way around a woman.”
“Am I supposed to be flattered by that?” I asked, trying to stem the flow of panic.
“Yeah, you should be flattered. Because Colt has the biggest heart in the world, but he’s kept himself shut away.”
“It’s only been a few days, Joni. You know that, right? I don’t think you can assume I’m responsible for Colt’s change.”
“He told you about our dad’s death. Did he tell you about our parents? And how they met?”
I nodded.
“My dad knew my mother was the one the moment he laid eyes on her. And she had no qualms getting on the back of his bike and riding off into the sunset with him. Westons just know.”
“Weston,” I repeated. “That’s your family name?”
“Yes.”
“What’s Colt’s real name?”
“James.”
James.
“What about you?” I asked.
“What about me what?”
I smiled. “Who do you want to keep?”
She sighed. “Zip.”
“No.”
“Yeah.”
“Oh man. It all makes sense now. When I said he offered to let me stay in his home, you went all…”
“Yeah, I went all…” She shook her head. “I knew he was doing it to get Colt’s goat and to make Colt stand up and say he wanted you to stay with him, but it still hit me hard.”
“Why is there no you and Zip?”
“Because he sees me as Colt’s younger sister.”
“You are Colt’s younger sister.”
She shook her head. “You don’t mess around with a club member’s family. Like, you don’t fuck their sisters or cousins or anything. Plus, Zip’s kind of a whore.”
“Excuse me?”
“A man whore. A big, fat, man whore. No, not a big fat one. A big, hot, tatted one.”
“So he sleeps around,” I stated.
“Yup. It should totally be a turn off. I know that. But damn. He’s so fucking hot and I want to keep him and make cute little biker babies. But he avoids me and I avoid him and we both pretend we don’t want to rip each other’s clothes off.”
I laughed. “Plus, babies. What man isn’t terrified of a woman hungry for seed?”
“Do you really have to put it that way? You make me sound like a desperate woman.”
“Sorry.” I grinned.
“What about you?”
“What about me?”
“Do you want to make cute little biker babies with my brother?”
If I’d been drinking something I would’ve spit it out all over her. “You’re insane. I barely know him.”
“Uh huh.”
“I’m leaving town.”
“Okay,” she said like she didn’t believe me.
“I am.”
She snorted into her coffee.
“You’re cute,” she repeated, “but so oblivious.”
There had been no word from Colt all afternoon. Not that I expected any word from him.
Okay, that was a lie.
I had hoped he would want to check in with me, see how my afternoon with Joni was going or ask if I was taking good care of Cheese.
Joni cooked dinner and refused my help. She left early because she had a morning shift at the hospital. I waved goodbye from the porch and then turned to go back inside. Cheese was in the same spot. He hadn’t moved in hours except for one quick bathroom break.
“Thanks, Cheese,” I said.
“For what?”
“For keeping watch. Sorry it’s so boring.”
He flashed me a cute grin. “I’m glad it’s boring. It means you’re safe.”
“Do you guys really expect trouble?”
“Gotta be prepared for anything. The Iron Horsemen…”
“What?” I demanded.
He scratched his jaw with his thumb. “I shouldn’t say anything.”
I held my tongue but kept my eyes on him. Cheese caved. “Rawlins scares the shit out of most grown men. And the ones who aren’t scared of him are just too stupid to know they should be. It’s good you’re here and we can look out for you.”
A pang of emotion hit my throat. “Thanks.”
I went back inside and settled onto the couch, the cell phone Colt had given me by my side. I kept glancing at it, willing it to buzz. Turning on the TV, I listened to some asinine show playing in the background as I picked up the cell. Debating all of five seconds, I scrolled through the three numbers in the phone and shot off a text to Colt.
Hey.
As soon as I sent it, I wanted to take it back.
“Darlin’,” a low voice whispered. “Mia, wake up.”
“No,” I murmured, trying to sink deeper into the couch cushions.
There was a sigh and then I felt arms moving underneath me. I was being lifted and carried, my face pressed against a warm chest and soft cotton. I snuggled into the embrace.
“Ah, fuck.”
“Stop saying that,” I said, refusing to open my eyes. I pretended it was a dream; in my dream, I could be vulnerable.
When I was awake I’d have to ignore this thing between us.
He set me down on the bed in the guest room and settled the comforter over me. I heard the faint sound of rain against the window.
“Stay,” I whispered when I felt Colt begin to move away.
“Mia,” he said, his voice dark, pleading.
“Please,” I begged. I wiggled over to give him room. I heard the unbuckling of a belt and then the sound of jeans hitting the floor, and something heavy being set down on the nightstand. Colt climbed into bed next to me and pulled me into the wall of his chest. His body curled around mine as his lips brushed my ear.
I let out a sigh. “I’m not catching feelings.”
There was a soft rumble against my back as Colt’s hand wormed its way under my shirt and rested on my stomach. “Go to sleep, sweetheart.”
The next morning I woke up alone and confused; there was no evidence of Colt having slept in bed next to me. I bit my lip when I thought of him pressed against me from behind. I’d never felt safer.
After I got dressed in a pair of cut off shorts and a T-shirt, I headed downstairs, both dreading and hoping to see Colt. He was in the kitchen, dressed for the day and drinking a cup of coffee.
His eyes roved over me, lingering on my legs. “Mornin’,” he drawled.
“Morning,” I replied, heading to the coffeemaker and pouring myself a cup.
“You’re a very…active sleeper.”
His sensuous tone had my hand shaking, and I spilled the coffee I was pouring. I set the coffee pot back in its place and then grabbed the dishtowel hanging off the fridge to mop up the mess.
I looked at him over my shoulder. “What does that mean?”
Colt’s smile was slow. Hot. A rush of embarrassed desire flamed my cheeks, but I held his gaze. He didn’t lose his smile. I wanted to wipe it off his face. I dropped the dishrag and walked over to him. Just when I thought I was in control, Colt reached out to grasp my hips, hauling me toward him. He settled me onto his lap and then his hand was holding the back of my neck. His brown eyes looked liquid.
“Joni gave me some interesting insight about you,” I said.
“Oh yeah?”
I nodded. “She said something about you wanting to keep me.”
“What if I do?”
“What changed?”
“You get one life. One life to be free, to choose how you live. You want to leave town? I’ll make sure you can do that—and not have Dev on your ass. No use leaving town if you have to keep looking over your shoulder and feel like you’re on the run. But I’ve also been doing some thinking,” he admitted. “Ever since I walked into Dive Bar and kissed you. It was like I’d been surviving this whole time, but not really living.” He stared at me with deep brown eyes. “You get what I mean, yeah?”
I nodded. I knew what it was like to float from one moment to the next. Not really sad, but not happy either. Just…there.
“Each day we’re one step closer to the end. Don’t want to die and wish I’d really lived.”
I was drugged by his words. A spectator weighing in might think we didn’t know each other at all, that because of circumstances, I’d turned to him in an hour of need. But maybe Colt needed me too. Maybe we needed each other and it didn’t matter what it looked like on the outside.
We were close enough that I could smell the coffee and mint toothpaste on his breath. My tongue darted out to touch my lips and I swore his eyes darkened.
I went in for the kill. Our mouths met in ferocious hunger and our tongues fought each other for dominance. Colt’s hand on the back of my neck tightened and I leaned into him, ready for more, ready for it on the kitchen table.
A phone rang. Colt’s lips tore from mine, his face wreathed in annoyance at our thwarted lust.
“Fuck, why does this always happen?” He shifted me on his lap so he could get to the cell in his pocket and answered it. “Yeah?”
When I made a move to get up, he stopped me.
“Yeah, okay. Be right there.” He hung up and set his phone on the kitchen table. “I gotta go.”
“Okay.”
We stared at each other and then our lips were meshing. “I really have to go,” Colt growled against my mouth even as he kissed me again.
“I heard you,” I answered, tugging at his shirt, wanting to get to the skin beneath.
He pulled back and grasped my hands to still their wandering. “Not like this.”
“Not like what?” I demanded. “Every time I decide I want to have sex with you, we get interrupted.”
He didn’t smile from my jest. “If all I wanted was sex, it would’ve happened by now.”
“Well, that’s a bit arrogant, don’t you think?”
Colt’s gaze dropped to my traitorous nipples, but said nothing.
I rolled my eyes. “Fine.”
“I want you, but not like this. Not when you’re still confused.”
“Confused about what exactly?”
“Confused about what it means when I take you to my bed. It’s gonna mean something, babe. And I’m not sure you’re ready for all that.”
“What if I’m never ready?” I ventured to ask. Colt’s intensity scared me, but I valued his honesty.
“Then you were never meant to be my woman.”
With that pronouncement, Colt stalked from the kitchen, leaving me with a lukewarm cup of coffee.
