Where are you now?
Alessandro Romano’s POV
Staring at her back as my mind registered her words.
A disastrous kind of a storm broke inside me.
‘I was a mistake…I was discarded in dump……I don’t deserve happiness….you will not have to see this ugly face anymore…. don’t have to touch this disgusting body…. congratulations….goodbye……’
No!!
This can’t be it.
I should be happy that she finally decided to leave forever.
But then I don’t know why a feeling of dread enraptured inside me… like my very soul was getting separated from me.
Like by not stopping her right now I was committing the biggest mistake of my life.
She said she was a mistake…agreed …but she was my life’s most beautiful mistake.
Those years with her were the golden period of my life.
She said she is ugly….
Not the prettiest one in town I agree. With not the sharpest feature.
But she was pretty in her own unique way.
Like every feature not very perfect but when fitted together each one covered the others flaws and highlighted innocence.
A kind of beauty which can never be compared because of it’s uniqueness but can only be adored.
Disgusting body she said.
If only she knew how her touch burns my skin with lust and desire.
If only she knew how much self control it took not to engulf her perfect waist in my arms and inhale her sweet fragrance.
Her goodbye pinched like a needle in my heart and the ring she returned made my mind go blank.
The biggest fear of my life shook the very floor under my feet.
Can she be innocent?
The million dollar ring in my hand raised hundreds of questions and their answers made me doubt myself for the first time in my life.
But those pictures were true…she did used to see another man behind my back…
But did I ever listened to her side of story?
Why she did it? Who was he?
These endless thoughts were giving me a headache as I tossed around in bed.
Andrea’s touch no longer calmed me down.
Her arm hugging me felt like a trap and her presence felt suffocating.
I lifted up the duvet, released my self from Andrea and made my way outside to the balcony.
The winds welcomed me and the stars in the sky calmed me down.
‘You know Andro these stars tell me a story’
‘A story? When did stars started talking?’
I laughed at her stupid self.
‘Since the day I realised I have no one….since the day I learned that people who die become a star….’
Seeing the hidden sadness behind her words all my humour vanished.
‘These stars tell me that even when everyone changes towards me ….when people hate me….when I am unwanted they are still there for me……they are there to look after me…even though sometimes they may hide themselves behind the clouds but still they are there staring back at me again…’
I engulfed her from behind and placed a kiss on her neck inhaling her addicting fragrance.
‘But dear Saph they are too far away to protect you and look after you?’
She stilled and got lost in her thoughts as I enjoyed her closeness and her innocence.
A smile left appeared on my lips when I realised how seriously she was considering my question..
‘..hmmm…that….I never thought…’
‘Well let me tell you then…these stars send me to be there for you…to protect the one most innocent and vulnerable to this world…to be there for her when they couldn’t be there…’
She turned around and a hundred watt smile came my way followed by an innocent peck on my lips.
‘That’s not fair? I only get a peck for taking such a big responsibility…I don’t settle with instalments dear I want lump some..’
She blushed as I pulled her closer to me by grabbing her waist.
‘..you..have…to wait for that..’
‘I can’t when my prize is in front of me begging me to settle the transaction.’
With this I kissed her deeply until her face got flushed and my never ending desire satiated and got settled for the time being.
Here at this very place it happened.
It still felt like yesterday as I imagined that day.
Gripping the railing I tried to calm myself but how could I when the promise I made to her remained unkept and lapsed.
I don’t know where she would be now…if she even has a roof over her head…was she safe…..did she eat something….
I know nothing.
There at the club looking at her I kind of pitied her.
Gone was the figure I loved the most leaving a skinny body with dull eyes.
She looked weak and under nutritioned…
Just 6 months passed since I threw her out of my office.
But in this little time she looked like she suffered a lot.
The thought of her selling her body to earn money for a piece of bread boiled my blood.
That dress that barely covered her and displayed her body to other men burned me with jealousy that I never felt with anyone before.
She was mine and none had the right to even lay their eyes on what was Alessandro Romano’s.
These emotions were burning up my inside and I wanted to scream all this out.
I miss you…I will never tell you Saph but I do….
Her betrayal, deception and lies were at one side and my love for her at another.
My heart wanted to check her one last time.
To see if she was fine…
After seeing her today I wanted a confirmation that she is fine.
A confirmation that those dull eyes will get their light back.
Dialling my friend who is the number one investigation officer in town I closed my eyes
‘Hey man what’s up? Calling so late.. everything’s fine…?’
‘Hey Kevin…yaa everything’s fine I just wanted you to get me some information about someone…’
‘Mail me the details I will reach you as soon as I can…’
‘Thanks man.’
‘Anything for you Romano…goodnight.’
Taking out a cigar and lighting it.
I puffed a cloud of smoke and that’s how I spent my night.
Numbing myself to get out of her thoughts and coming back to my cold self to survive.
I just needed one last assurance that she is fine….to go forward and accept Andrea as my wife.
After a weak Sapphire Brown will die from this heart forever as my heart will belong to my loyal wife.
Andrea Stone.
3 days have passed and there is no trace of her.
I have contracted top of the investigation teams but it felt like Sapphire Brown vanished from the surface of the earth.
‘You bloody get paid for this work !! I want her within next 24 hours if not get ready to loose your job!’
Cutting the call I threw the phone on the couch and tried to calm myself.
The dread feeling in my heart was escalating each day and my mind again and again took me back to her.
The file in front of me had all that they could get on her.
Her house address…her work address.
The club told that she left the same day I met her…her house or should I say a single small room was locked since last 3 days and no one knew where she was.
An idea came to my mind and I grabbed the car keys and made my way towards her address.
Anything I can get on her would be enough.
The locality I reached was at the outskirts of the city…my car couldn’t go ahead and I had to park it behind.
This was the most dangerous area to live in with murders and rapes a very common scene.
Thinking that Saph lived here made me wonder just how difficult her life would be.
I reached the address to see a room with broken wooden frame and smell of garbage making it difficult to even breathe.
Breaking the lock I made my way inside to be welcomed with a small room with an old box TV..one single bed and a wall covered with hundreds of pictures.
I moved closer to examine them and what I saw made me freeze with shock.
There were our pictures from those times when we were together.
Some were my alone while others were of us together.
Each picture had a happy memory and I smiled remembering that time.
My hands automatically lingered on her smiling face.
How beautiful she looked.
But then a picture caught my eye that made me stop.
It was a latest one with me and Andrea hand in hand smiling at the camera.
Was she trying to explain herself that I have moved on with Andrea.
Looking around I ransacked all the racks and drawers but didn’t found much.
Finally when I was going to leave after taking some of her photos along with me my eyes locked on something lying under the pillow.
Pulling it out it was a beautiful diary.
A very elegant design covered the book cover and the words written on the first page filled my heart with nostalgia and longlines.
‘Personal diary of Aurora Sapphire Brown.’
Flipping through the pages of the diary at once my eyes saw how her handwriting. changed from a kid to an adult…as the dates and years passed with a flip my hand stopped on her last entry…..
Date 27th Feb
Time: 2 am.
I can’t sleep again…
The medicines are of no use when his eyes haunt my nights…
Those cold eyes were again looking at me with hate…
Hate is nothing new. I am used to it now…but his hate matters
His every word and every look matters.
But diary you know what the best part was?
He protected me!!
He stood in front of me when another man looked at me…
And his touch was enough to make my day.
The bruise on my arm he left is a token of his touch and I can still feel his strong grip on me.
I know you must be thinking I am crazy cherishing a bruise like it was a hickey but diary you don’t know what all love can make you do.
Especially when it is a long lost one and has no future.
He is expensive…I know…….I am rubbish under his feet…but when he touches me he changes this rubbish into gold.
Well that’s enough I won’t bore you with his talks again like I do every night
I will tell you something else…
Like today I had a sandwich!!
It was expensive…but worth it.
Those left over foods are so bad and not to forget those stale breads.
A hot filled toasted sandwich felt so good.
My co worker gave it to me as a gift for doing his shift.
But it will be the last I get…
I will not go back to that club again….
I don’t want him to come back in search of me.
Even though I know he won’t come back but still I can’t take risk…
He should not look back at me now..
He doesn’t deserve someone like me…
And yes last night I saw their new picture together.
Wow miss Andrea looked so good with him…
She is so beautiful!!
They both look so good together like they are meant to be!!
Jealousy…no I am not jealous…I would be the biggest fool on the earth if I compare myself with her.
It will be a disgrace to her if I compare us…she is a queen ..
Just few days are left by the way. They are getting married.
They both deserved the best and are the perfect couple…
I just hope he forgets me..
Even though there is nothing in me to be remembered off. Or love about but if he forgets me I guess I will finish this book with peaceful and a happy end.
I will be happy just by knowing he is happy.
Oh sorry again I came back to him …you must be bored listening to the same thing I tell you every night.
Okay so ….let’s write today’s poem…
I don’t know if tomorrow or any day after I will be able to continue you because you know my reasons…but for now here it is….
I wait for you every day.
I long your touch every night.
Don’t know why I want what I don’t deserve
But your eyes makes it feel that everything is right.
Love is a small thing to gift you by a lowlife like me.
But sorry that’s the only thing I can afford in this life.
You don’t need to accept my gift.
It demands no reciprocity.
But just remember that once you met a girl that no one cared about.
A girl that was invisible to this world and one day became an illusion.
Remember her as mistake or a lesson but please do remember the lonely one.
Sapphire Brown was not as rare as the blue gem Sapphire nor was she something special to be adored and kept.
She was just a piece of coal that got burned and came down to ashes to be flown away with the wind and disappear just like she never meant to exist.
Ps It’s raining outside now and I think the medicines finally decided to work. Goodnight dear diary.
As soon as I completed the entry on the page a sob broke out.
Teardrops landed on the diary as my fingers traced each word she wrote.
I don’t know if I have the heart to read my Saph’s diary.
To imagine and feel each and every day of her life.
But I had to do it.
I need to know her secrets to know the answer to the question.
Where are you now?.
