I twisted the vial in my hands over and over again. The tears had dried by now, and my face felt hot and sticky from crying, but my decision was made. There was only one thing I could do. Dante’s step rang in the corridor and I quickly pocketed the poison. The door opened and Dante stepped in, then stopped with a surprised look on his face when he saw me standing in front of the window.
“Valentina, what are you doing here?” His gaze swept over my teary face. “Did something happen? Are you alright?”
“We need to talk.”
Dante closed the door slowly, every motion deliberate and calculated. He knew something was up. I didn’t have to see my face to know it gave everything away, not only because of my swollen eyes. I had never been so shaken in my life as I was today. He approached me carefully, then stopped out of reach. I searched his face for something, some kind of gentleness, but he was only alert. This was the man who’d accused me of having cheated on him, who’d rejected our unborn child because he thought it wasn’t his. A man who never let me close. Would he ever love me? Would I ever find in this marriage what I so desperately wanted?
Dante’s cold scrutiny was such a stark change from Antonio’s tenderness and easy-going smiles. Antonio had promised me to give me what I wanted, to be a husband I deserved. Three years ago I’d have done everything to hear those words from him, even slipped poison into the glass of someone who wanted Antonio dead. But somehow in the last months of my marriage to Dante something had changed. My heart had moved on from one unattainable man to the next. Despite everything Dante had done and said, he was my husband and I had come to love him, no matter how stupid that made me. He was the father of my child, even if he didn’t want to believe it.
“Valentina?” A hint of impatience crept into Dante’s voice.
“I saw Antonio today.”
Dante frowned. “You went to his grave?”
“No,” I said with a hysteric note. “I saw him in person. He isn’t dead.”
Dante became still. I could tell that he wasn’t sure if he should believe me. He probably thought I was losing it. “What do you mean?”
Tears spilled out. “What I said. He isn’t dead.”
Dante’s face hardened but he remained silent.
“That’s why Frank contacted me. Antonio was there that night at the warehouse. He shot at us to save Frank. It wasn’t the Russians.”
“Why did you meet him without telling me after he tried to kill you once already?”
“I didn’t! He followed me into the pharmacy today.”
Suspicion was edged into Dante’s face. “Why didn’t you call Enzo? Where was he?” He didn’t sound like a husband, he sounded like he was my Boss and I was one of his soldiers.
“I don’t know. I was shocked. I thought Antonio was dead and then suddenly I’m staring at his face. I wanted to hear him out. He told me he faked his death to escape the Outfit and live with Frank.”
“And now he’s back. Does he want my forgiveness? I don’t have any to give. I hope he doesn’t expect me to give him a warm welcome. The only thing he can have is a quick death.”
I wrapped my arms around my middle. “He doesn’t want to ask for your forgiveness.”
Dante searched my face.
“He wants you dead. He and a few others want you and your father gone and take over power.”
Dante’s jaw flexed. “Do they now? And how do they intend to do that?”
“Antonio asked me to poison you.”
Dante’s eyes bored into mine. “Why would he think you’d agree?”
“Because he’s certain I still love him. Because he trusts me. Because it’s probably obvious to everyone how unhappy I am.” My hand unconsciously moved to my still mostly flat stomach. There was only the slightest bump visible when I was naked. Dante’s eyes followed the movement and some of the hardness around his eyes lessened. “And what did you tell him?”
I made an exasperated sound. “Would I be telling you about all this if I wanted to kill you? It was bad enough that you accused me of cheating and didn’t believe me when I told you I was pregnant with your child, although you are the only man I’ve ever been with. But this? Thinking I’d agree to kill you, this is too much, even for me.”
Dante walked up to me and touched my upper arms lightly. “I didn’t ask what you decided. I didn’t think you’d kill me. I asked what you told Antonio. There’s a difference.”
“I pretended to agree with his plan. I worried he’d find another way to kill you.”
“Probably. And I bet he would have tried to kill you too.”
I sucked in a breath. “Antonio would never harm me.”
“Are you sure? This is a man who goes to great lengths to get his way from what I know.”
“I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.”
Dante kept his hands on my arms. “Did he tell you who else is involved?”
I nodded numbly. “He mentioned Raffaele, but he didn’t want to tell me the other names.”
“Okay,” Dante said gently. “Do you have a way to get in contact with him?”
“You are going to kill him.”
“I’m going to kill them all, Valentina. I have to.”
I stared into his determined blue eyes. No hesitation, no pity, no mercy. “I have his number.”
“You will send him a text saying you gave me the poison and now you’re panicking because you don’t know what to do with my dead body. Ask him to meet you at the warehouse again.”
A tear slid down my cheek. Dante wiped it away with his thumb. “You know what’s strange,” I whispered thickly. “At one point, I thought I could never love someone as I loved Antonio, no matter how unrequited that love was. And today I’m condemning him to his death for another man who will never love me back.”
Dante’s fingers froze against my face. His gaze flickered, and some tiny part of me hoped he’d say that he loved me. It would have made things easier. He cleared his throat. “We shouldn’t wait too long. Maybe he’ll realize it was stupid to contact you and he’ll decide to go back into hiding. We need to reach him before that.”
I drew away from his touch, and nodded. I reached into my bag for my phone, my fingers brushing the vial with the poison. I should tell Dante about it. I pulled out my phone and opened a text. I quickly typed what Dante had told me and sent it off. Afterward, I anxiously stared down at the screen. Less than a minute later, I got a reply.
Meet me in 30 minutes. Bring the body. I’ll take care of everything.
“How am I supposed to get your body into my car?”
“I suppose dragging would work,” Dante said dryly.
I laughed, then choked up. “What now? You will need reinforcements.”
Dante shook his head. “I don’t know who to trust right now. Not until I’ve talked to Antonio.”
I knew he wouldn’t just talk to him and the thought sent a stab through my heart. “But what if Antonio isn’t alone? Isn’t it too risky for you to go alone? Maybe you should ask one of the guards. They have access to this house. If they wanted you dead, they’d probably have figured out a way to kill you by now.”
“I’d rather get a picture of the situation before I involve anyone else. It’s crucial that I don’t look vulnerable in front of my men. I need to be in control at all times. I will handle this alone. Once I know more, I’ll call my soldiers. They’ll need to see what I do with traitors anyway.”
I swallowed. “Can you kill Antonio quickly? You can get the information you want from Raffaele.”
“Raffaele might get suspicious and disappear, or he might not know everything Antonio does. I’ll have to make sure I find out exactly who’s involved in this.”
I touched his arm. “What if you get shot?”
“I can handle myself. I’ve fought many battles in my life. I wouldn’t be Capo if I hadn’t.”
“I should come with you.”
“No,” Dante said immediately.
“What if Antonio doesn’t come out until he sees me in my car? If they have binoculars they’ll see it’s you behind the steering wheel. They’ll run off and we’ll never find out who’s behind this coup.”
Dante regarded me with respect. “I won’t risk your life.”
“I won’t get out of the car. It’s bullet proof, remember? I’ll be perfectly safe.”
“You want to be there when I handle Antonio?”
I hesitated. That was the last thing I wanted. “No,” I said honestly. “But there’s no other way. Once the situation is under control and you call your men, I’ll leave.”
For a long time, Dante and I stared at each other. “You shouldn’t risk your life for me. And it’s not only your life on the line.”
“Nothing will happen to me or our baby. I know you will protect us.”
Dante didn’t say anything. I wished he’d say he believed it was his baby, wished he’d take back the hurtful things he’d said. “Let’s go then.”
Dante hid on the backseat of the car while I drove. As we passed the gate, Enzo gave me a strange look but didn’t try to stop me. Dante had two guns strapped into his gun holder and another one in his hand. There were also knives in the legroom, and I had a gun in the glove compartment. Not that it would do me much good. I’d never handled a gun in my life.
My pulse picked up when I steered the car toward the deserted parking lot in front of the abandoned storage facility. “We’re almost there,” I said.
“When you’re in sight of Antonio, try not to speak to me unless it’s absolutely necessary. He can’t know you’re not alone.”
The meeting point came into sight. Antonio stood beside his car. From what I could make out, Frank wasn’t with him, but he wasn’t alone. My heart picked up its pace and my hands became clammy as I clutched the steering wheel tighter. There was a second car. Raffaele and two men I didn’t know were inside.
“Antonio isn’t alone,” I whispered, barely moving my lips.
“How many?”
“Three others. Raffaele, and two men I don’t recognize.”
Dante pulled out his phone and brought it to his ear. “Enzo, prepare the crew. I need to dispose of some rats. Take only the inner circle with you.” He quickly gave Enzo the address, then he hung up.
I slowed the car and forced a shaky smile onto my face when I came to a stop a few feet from where Antonio stood. He looked anxious and kept glancing toward Raffaele who was getting out the car, followed by the man from the backseat. Why had Antonio brought Raffaele to a meeting with me? Raffaele hated me. He’d father see me dead than see me at Antonio’s side.
What if Dante was right and Antonio wanted to get rid off me too? I didn’t want to believe it. I turned off the engine. After another look toward Raffaele, Antonio headed toward my car. I tensed but forced my face to give nothing away. When he’d almost reached me, his eyes settled on the backseat and he jerked to a stop. His gaze darted to me for the briefest moment before his lips opened, probably to shout a warning. It was too late Dante pushed open the door and pointed his gun at Antonio. My stomach shriveled with sadness and guilt when the first bullet hit Antonio in the stomach, the second went straight through his right hand, which had been about to pull his gun. Antonio dropped to the ground, clutching his middle, face contorted with pain.
I clawed at the steering wheel with all my might. Part of my brain screamed at me to grab the gun from the glove compartment to have some kind of protection, but the other, the louder part was just screaming. Screaming in anguish and horror and guilt.
Dante was shielded by the bulletproof car door as he fired his next shot. The bullet tore through the throat of the man who’d gotten out of the car after Raffaele.
Raffaele was trying to reach the safety of his own car, firing bullet after bullet in our direction but none of them could burst through our protective windows.
When Raffaele dove for the passenger door of his car, Dante stepped out from behind the door which had been shielding him. My heart pounded wildly in my chest as he squared his shoulders and aimed calmly. In quick succession Dante pulled the trigger, hitting Raffaele first in his left, then in his right kneecap. Raffaele dropped to the ground, face twisted in agony. The man behind the steering wheel of the car hit the gas, not even bothering to close his passenger door, as he tried to escape and save his own life. Three other cars, Dante’s reinforcement, were already heading our way at dizzying speed, but Dante didn’t let the enemy car get away. He aimed his gun at the tires and hit them one after the other, causing the man to lose control of the car, which started spinning and finally collided with the abandoned warehouse. Airbags shot open, filling the car and hiding the driver momentarily from view.
I released a harsh breath, now that silence fell over the area, and kept my eyes straight ahead. If I looked back, toward where Antonio was slowly bleeding to death, I’d lose it. He shouldn’t have come to me, shouldn’t have asked me to kill Dante. He should have known better. Now there was nothing I could do for him, except hope that Dante wouldn’t prolong his agony for too long. Tears blurred my vision and my knuckles were stark white and hurting from my grip on the steering wheel. From the corner of my eye, I could make out Raffaele. His legs useless, he was dragging himself forward with his arms, leaving behind a streak of blood on the dusty asphalt.
The cars with Dante’s reinforcement came to a halt next to me. Enzo shot me a short glance before he jogged toward Dante. I didn’t know what they were saying, but Enzo walked toward Raffaele, grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and yanked him upright. Of course Raffaele’s legs gave away again, and Enzo started dragging him behind despite Raffaele’s cries of pain. With the help of Taft, they loaded Raffaele into the car beside mine.
Dante appeared at my window. I couldn’t even move to open it. My fingers, my body, my entire being seemed paralyzed. After a moment, Dante opened the door. He squatted beside me. It was an unusual enough gesture for him that my eyes settled on his face. “Valentina,” Dante said carefully. “Are you capable to drive yourself home or do you want one of my men to do it?”
I want you. I need you, now more than ever. “No, I’m okay. I can drive.”
Dante scrutinized me. His hair was still perfectly combed back, his suit as impeccable as ever. Nothing that indicated he’d just killed one man and wounded three others. “I’ll send Taft with you,” he said firmly. “It’ll be a while before I’ll be home.” He didn’t need to say more. I didn’t want to hear more. I nodded simply. Dante stood and waved Taft over, who slipped into the passenger seat without a word. He slanted me a quick look. I probably looked as if I was close to losing it. And that was exactly how I was feeling.
Dante hesitated before he shut my door and took a few steps back from the car. As if in trance, I pressed my foot down on the gas. I didn’t look back, couldn’t. I’d said my goodbye to Antonio this afternoon. No, actually I’d said goodbye to him a long time ago.
Taft kept looking my way. I was driving too slow, but he didn’t comment. My throat was tight and I was feeling sick, not the sickness I’d experienced as part of my pregnancy. This was something that seemed to take hold of my entire body, but I fought it. I needed to keep up appearances. Dante was a proud and strong man, and I was his wife. I wouldn’t throw up in front of one of his men. I wasn’t sure how long it took to reach the manor, but if felt like eternity. When I finally parked the car in the garage, I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I opened my door and stepped out. As I headed for the door leading into the house, my legs buckled. Strong hands grabbed me under the arms and stopped me from hitting the floor hard. Driven by pure determination, I forced my legs to stop shaking. “Are you alright?” Taft asked. “Should I call the Boss?”
“No,” I said quickly. “He’s got to take care of business.” Of Antonio. A new wave of sickness crashed down on me. I stepped forward, out of Taft’s hold, my head high and back stiff. Barely breathing, I made my way into the house and, clutching the banister in a death grip, I dragged myself upstairs. I stumbled into the master bedroom and straight into the bathroom where I emptied my stomach into the toilet. My abdomen constricted painfully and for a moment I froze in fear, but then the sensation was gone.
I stood and slowly, shakily began undressing, letting my clothes lay strewn about on the floor. I turned the shower on and stepped under the hot water stream, closing my eyes and finally letting sobs wrack my body. I leaned against the shower stall and slowly glided down until I sat on the cold marble floor. I pulled my legs tightly against my chest, and cried. Cried for Antonio, for the boy I’d grown up with, for the man I’d once loved, for someone I’d betrayed the Outfit for once before. But today I’d made a decision and it had been against Antonio. I’d known what it would mean for him, had known I’d signed his death warrant the moment I told Dante about the plan. And yet I hadn’t even hesitated. I’d chosen Dante and I’d choose him again. He was my husband, he was the father of my unborn child, he was the man I loved even if he’d never given me reason to. I buried my face against my legs, hurting, hurting so much I couldn’t stand it. There was blood on my hands now. I cried even harder.
***
That’s how Dante found me. I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, how long he’d been gone. I was shivering, skin shriveled and red from the hot water. Dante stood in the doorway for a couple of moments, watching me, before he strode toward the shower. He wasn’t wearing the same clothes he’d worn when I’d last seen him. He’d changed. Had to change. My throat closed up. I stared up at him, shaking and crying silently. He reached into the shower, still fully dressed and shut the water off. His cool blue eyes settled on me as I cowered on the ground. There was concern and sympathy, riddled with something raw and dark in his face. I didn’t move, couldn’t.
He bent down, slid his arms under me and slowly straightened with me pressed against his chest, soaking his expensive shirt. My fingers clawed at his shoulders almost desperately. He set me carefully down, but didn’t let go of me. I wasn’t sure I could have stood on my own. He grabbed a towel and started drying me unhurriedly, his eyes following his hands as they rubbed the fluffy fabric over my skin. I pressed my face into the crook of his neck, soaking in his familiar scent, now mixed with gunpowder and blood. Blood. Sweet and metallic. Blood, so much blood.
“Oh God,” I gasped, and gasped, and gasped but couldn’t breathe. Dante lifted me into his arms again and carried me into the bedroom where he lowered me on our bed. He took off his shoes and lay down beside me, cradling my face until my frantic gaze settled on his intense eyes. “Shh, Val. It’s okay.”
But it wasn’t, couldn’t be. “I killed him.” I squeezed my eyes shut against the images my mind created, but they were even more colorful against the black canvas of my closed eyelids. “I killed him,” I repeated over and over again, until I wasn’t sure if the words still left my lips or if it was an echo in my ears.
“Val,” Dante said firmly, his fingers on my face tightening. “Look at me.”
I peeled my eyes open, staring at the beautiful face of my husband. Beautifully cold. Not a flicker of regret.
“You did what was right.”
Did I? Sometimes it was hard to see the line between right and wrong from all the death and blood plastering the mob’s paths.
“You did what you had to do to protect me.” His fingers stroked my chin. “I won’t ever forget it. Never.”
“I told you that you could trust me,” I whispered.
“I know, and I do.”
I wanted to believe him, but he still hadn’t said anything about our child, still hadn’t admitted that it was his, that he’d been wrong to accuse me of cheating. Too proud, too stubborn. He must have known he was wrong all along, because if he’d ever really thought I had cheated on him he would have moved heaven and earth to find the man who touched me. I didn’t want to think about it, but as my mind shied away from one hurtful topic, it latched onto the next. “Did you get the names of the other traitors?”
Dante nodded grimly. “Yes. I’m fairly sure. Enzo and a few others are taking care of the less important rats right now.”
“What…what did you do to Antonio?” I knew I shouldn’t ask. It wouldn’t make things better. It would only add fuel to the fire that was my guilt.
Dante shook his head. “He’s dead, Val.”
“I know but what did you do to him.”
“If it’s any consolation for you, I focused my main attention on Raffaele. Antonio got a quicker death than any other traitor.”
Tears pooled in my eyes. “Thank you.” What kind of twisted world did we live in that I thanked my husband for killing my first husband quickly, for keeping the torture to a minimum. A world of blood and death. A world our child would be born into and grow up in, and maybe one day if he was a boy, he’d follow in Dante’s footsteps and kill and torture others to stay in power. An endless circle of blood and death.
Dante searched my eyes. “Val, you’re worrying me.”
I raised my head and pressed my tear-slick lips against Dante’s. He didn’t pull back, only watched me with furrowed brows. I drew back a couple of inches, my fingers curling in his hair, my eyes pleading. “Please,” I said quietly. “Make love to me. Just today. I know you don’t love me. Pretend, just for tonight. Hold me in your arms for once.”
Tumultuous wasn’t the right word to describe the look in Dante’s eyes, but it was the only thing that came to my mind. “God, Val.” He released a harsh breath, then he pressed his lips to mine, parting them and tasting me, tasting my tears, my sorrow, and somehow taking some of it away with every brush of his mouth. His hand ghosted over my collarbone, my arm, my side, my hip, like a whisper of a touch, barely there and yet the only thing I was aware of. He sat up and quickly unbuttoned his shirt before throwing it mindlessly to the ground and then his bare chest was pressed up against me, so warm and solid. He left cotton-soft kisses on my temple, forehead and cheek before he found my lips again for a kiss that took my breath away. His hand discovered my breast as if for the very first time, fingertips laying feather-light touches on my skin, laying claim to me without the usual burning possessiveness. I moaned against his mouth as his fingers traveled the length of my body to slip between my legs. He nudged them apart and then he lightly explored my folds, gentle and unhurried. I whimpered softly but Dante silenced me with another kiss before he nuzzled my neck and collarbone. When his lips finally closed around my nipple, I was already panting. Dante slipped one, then two fingers into me before he got off the bed and stood. He made quick work of his remaining clothes, and then he was on the bed, gloriously naked and hard. He settled between my legs and lowered himself to his elbows, molding our bodies together like we were one. He didn’t enter me. Instead his hand caressed my leg and raised it until it was curled over his back. His erection pressed against my inner thigh but Dante didn’t seem in any hurry. He kissed me, his eyes dark and probing as they watched me. He lightly petted my breast, making me ache for him to finally claim me.
He must have seen the need on my face because he reached between us and lined his erection up with my entrance. His claim didn’t come in one swift, hard move as so often in the past. It was a slow conquest and my walls yielded to him as they always did. I gasped when he was buried completely inside me. Dante cradled the back of my head, his forearms braced to both sides of my face and then he started to move in me. Time seemed to stand still as our bodies glided against each other. Was this love-making?
I wrapped my arms around Dante, trying to bring him even closer. Dante didn’t resist. He brought his face down to mine, kissed my lips, then my cheeks until his mouth brushed my ear. “I should have made love to you before,” he said in a low voice.
And I cried in response. I wasn’t sure if this was part of his pretense, and I didn’t care. In this moment, it felt real and that was all that mattered to me. When Dante shuddered under his release, he took me with him, and even afterward as he started to soften inside me, he didn’t pull away.
He lay on top of me, still buried in me, his breathing fanning over my cheek. I knew many women in our world preferred a beautiful lie to the harsh truth any day, and for the first time, I understood. After all that had happened today, I allowed myself that weakness. Tomorrow would be the time to face reality.
