Romero
After Lily had given me that blowjob, I spent the next day thinking about nothing but returning the favor with my tongue. It was a good thing that the mansion wasn’t the most dangerous place, because my focus was gone. I didn’t think I’d have done a good job protecting anyone if someone had attacked.
My cock was so hard it almost hurt as I waited in my bed that night for Lily to come over. When midnight rolled around and she wasn’t there yet, I almost went in search for her. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been that horny.
When my door finally opened and Lily walked in, I had to stop myself from shoving her up against the wall and bury myself in her. That was the one thing I couldn’t do. Many borders had already been crossed but that was where I had to draw the line.
Lily hopped into bed and kissed me eagerly. It seemed I wasn’t the only one who’d waited for this. “Gianna and Matteo were in the corridor, so I had to wait,” she said, her fingers already slipping below my shirt.
I loved her touch, but it was my turn. I grabbed her and flipped her on her back. She gasped in surprise. I hooked my hands in her waistband and slid her panties down her legs, then I paused. This was still new for Lily. I couldn’t treat her like the woman I’d been with before. “Is this okay?”
She lifted her legs to help me pull her panties over her feet. She nodded quickly. There was only need in her eyes. I smiled. I positioned myself between her legs and a hint of embarrassment showed on her beautiful face, but I didn’t give her time to think about it. I lowered myself to my stomach, pushed her legs farther apart and took a long lick.
And damn it, she tasted even better than I’d imagined.
Liliana
I’d heard girls talk about boys going down on them in school but I’d never been able to imagine how it would feel to have someone’s mouth on me like that. Would it be strange? Wet? Disgusting? Awkward?
It was none of those things. It was mind-blowingly wonderful. Or maybe that was only because Romero knew exactly what to do, how to nibble and suck and lick until my fingers dug into the mattress because I couldn’t take the pleasure anymore. And it seemed to get better every time we did it. Weeks past and every night Romero pleasured me with his mouth. He seemed to enjoy it as much as I enjoyed going down on him.
Tonight, he was taking his time and I had no mind to rush him. It felt too good. Romero’s stubble scratched me lightly at times and that intensified the sensations even more. He lifted his head and I huffed in protest.
He chuckled, but didn’t lower his mouth. “Tell me when you’re coming, okay? I want to know.”
“Okay,” I said, then moaned when Romero closed his lips over my clit and continued where he’d left off.
I could feel myself getting closer. My thighs began to quiver. “I’m coming,” I gasped, too caught up in my pleasure to be embarrassed about it.
Romero’s finger brushed my opening and then he slid it in. I arched off the mattress. There was a flicker of pain but for some reason it made me come even harder.
Eventually I lay motionless on the bed, trying to catch my breath.
Romero blew out a harsh breath. “Goddammit. You’re so tight.”
I couldn’t say anything in response, too overwhelmed by the feeling of him in me. He moved his finger slowly, stroking the inside of my walls, tripling the sensations in my body. He curled his finger and my hips bucked off the mattress as I gasped in surprise and another orgasm rocked through me. He pulled his finger out and actually put it in his mouth. I could only stare, strangely turned on by the sight.
Romero crawled back up to me.
A question burned in my mind. What if the brief pain had meant Romero had broken my hymen? It was ridiculous that I even had to worry about something like that.
Romero smoothed my brows. “Hey, did I hurt you?”
“No, I…I only wondered if…” I felt embarrassed to voice my worries.
Romero seemed to puzzle it together on his own though. “You’re scared that you aren’t a virgin anymore because I put my finger in you.” I couldn’t decipher the emotion in his voice. Was he angry? Annoyed?
He cupped the back of my head. “I wouldn’t do that to you, Lily. I wouldn’t just take your virginity without permission, and even then…” He shook his head. “I shouldn’t even think about taking your virginity. But you don’t have to worry. My finger isn’t wide enough and I didn’t go deep enough to do any damage. You’re safe.”
“I wasn’t scared, I just…” Yes, what? I had been worried. There was no denying it. It wasn’t that I didn’t want Romero. I did. But that was a huge step, one I couldn’t take back.
“It’s okay. You should be scared about that. Your life would be ruined if you lost your virginity before your wedding night,” he said in a strange tone. He wrapped his arms around me, so I couldn’t look at his face anymore. “I want you to be the one, you know?” I whispered into the dark.
“But I cannot do it,” Romero said, his fingers tightening on my arm.
“Why not?”
“Lily,” Romero said almost angrily. “You know why not. So far we’ve been lucky that we didn’t get caught. Your sisters and Luca are already suspicious as it is. Right now we could still deny everything and nobody would be able to prove the opposite, but if we slept with each other, then there would be evidence.”
“Evidence?” I huffed. “We aren’t planning to commit a crime.”
“In our world it is. We don’t play by the rules of the outside world and you know it.”
“We only want to be together because we love each other. Is that so bad?” I snapped my mouth shut when I realized what I’d said. I’d practically put the words “I love you” into Romero’s words when he’d never said them. I hadn’t either but I knew I loved him. Did he love me as well?
He’d become motionless and for a moment even stopped breathing altogether. “Fuck,” Romero whispered harshly. He pressed a kiss against my temple. “This is spinning out of control.”
“I meant it, Romero. I love you,” I said.
He was quiet. “You shouldn’t. We don’t have a future, Lily.”
My heart ached from his words. I didn’t want to believe them to be true. “You don’t know that.”
“You’re right,” Romero said eventually. He kissed my temple again and then neither of us said anything.
***
Mother had died with longing in her eyes and regret on her lips. This wasn’t how I wanted to end. I didn’t want to have a pile of ‘what if’s’ and ‘how could it have been’ in my head during the last hours of my existence. I wanted to look back and not wonder how wonderful life could have been. I wanted Romero. I wanted Romero to be my first, wanted to share everything with him. Right in this moment, I wanted nothing more, and I knew that even if I’d come to regret it, that regret could never be as torturous as the one I’d feel if I didn’t do it, the one where I’d always be left wondering how it would be to become one with the person I loved. Sometimes you had to risk something to live, and Romero was a risk I was willing to take. That was all I could think about as I relished the last few moments of my orgasm.
Romero climbed up my body and brushed a kiss across my lips. He was about to lie down beside me, as he always did after he’d taken care of me, but I held onto his shoulders. “I don’t want to stop tonight.”
He became very still. His dark eyes traced every contour of my face as if he was hoping for a hint of regret somewhere, but I knew he wouldn’t find any. I’d spent too many nights longing and wondering and wishing, and tonight I’d finally get what I wanted. Of course, I needed Romero’s cooperation but I had a feeling he wouldn’t refuse me. He was dutiful and responsible, but he was also a man, and he wanted me. I could see it in his eyes, and his erection pressed up against my hipbone was a pretty good indicator as well. “Lily,” Romero rasped, then cleared his throat. I had to stifle a smile. “That’s something that can’t be undone. Everything we’ve done so far is easy to hide, but beyond this point, there are ways to prove our…transgressions.”
I laughed softly. “Transgressions?” I lifted my head and kissed him. “How can this be wrong?” Of course, I knew that Father and many other people in our world could have written a novel on all the ways, but I didn’t care. There was no part in me that thought what we were doing was wrong, and that was all that mattered.
“We discussed this already. I shouldn’t do this. For God’s sake, I made a promise to Luca to protect you. How is ruining your life protecting you?”
“You aren’t ruining my life. I want this, doesn’t that count for anything?”
“Of course it does.”
I pressed myself against him and grasped his cock through his boxers. “I want you. Only you. I want you to be my first.” I wanted him to be my only one. “Don’t you want to be my first?”
Romero exhaled a laugh and kissed the corner of my mouth, then my cheek before his eyes burned into mine again. “You know how much I want you. I can hardly think of anything else.”
I curled my fingers tighter around his erection. “I know.”
He released a harsh breath, then let out a quiet laugh. “You’ve got me in your hands in every possible way. That’s not how it’s supposed to be.”
I smiled. It felt good to know that I had that kind of power over someone like Romero. But he held just as much power over me, and my heart. It was a scary thing, knowing that someone else had the power to crush your heart with a few words. Love was scary. “I want you to be the one, Romero. I don’t want anyone else. Please.”
He kissed me again, fiercer this time, and lightly thrust into my hand. He felt hot and hard, and I couldn’t wait to feel him in me. “Are you sure?” he asked, but there was hardly any vehemence behind the words.
“Yes. I want you.”
Romero nodded. Excitement and nerves burst in my body. I’d half expected him to be more against it, but I was glad he hadn’t tried to talk me out of it. Today I’d finally become his.
Romero
I was supposed to be the voice of reason, the one to protect Lily from herself and from me, but I wasn’t as strong as everyone thought I was. Luca believed in me, trusted in my dutifulness and restraint. He didn’t know me well enough. Trust and longing filled Lily’s beautiful blue eyes. She wanted me, and damn it, I wanted her more than anything. Every fucking time I’d fucked her with my finger, I’d imagined how it would be to have my cock in her, to feel her hot walls around me. I couldn’t deny her. Maybe if there had been a flicker of doubt on her face but there was none. I tasted her mouth once more. She was sweet and soft and irresistible. Her fingers around my cock tightened and she bucked her hips lightly – an invitation I understood only too well, and longed to accept. I pulled away from her lips. “Not yet.”
“But,” she started. I slipped my hand between her legs and entered her with my middle finger. She let out a low breath and opened a bit wider for me. I loved how fucking responsive she was. Always so wet for me. There had been plenty of moments in my life when I had felt powerful but giving Lily pleasure beat them all. She didn’t say anything else, only closed her eyes and relaxed, trusting me to make her feel good. I kissed her breast, then nibbled on her nipple as I slowly slipped my finger in and out. Her breathing quickened but I kept a steady rhythm. I moved lower and positioned myself between her thighs. I let myself enjoy the sight of my finger as it entered her perfect pink pussy. Everything about her was beautiful. I leaned forward, not able to resist a moment longer. I closed my mouth over her bundle of nerves and teased her with my lips and tongue while my finger kept thrusting into her, deeper and harder now. I could feel her hymen every time I pushed in. I pressed my tongue against her clit, and slipped another finger into her. I’d never tried it before and her walls clamped around me tightly. Her breathing hitched in surprise and she tensed under me. I circled her lightly with my tongue the way she loved it, then took her between my lips and suckled. The tension left her body and a new wave of wetness followed, making it easier for my fingers to enter her. I found a slow rhythm as I listened to the sweet moans and sighs coming from her lips. I could have listened to her forever. I never got tired of giving her pleasure. There was just no better feeling in the world than making Lily explode with pleasure, and the knowledge that I was the only one doing it to her. A darker emotion filled me. She wasn’t really mine, might never be. One day she might have to marry someone her father chose for her and then that man would see her like this. Unreasonable fury surged through me, but I pushed the feeling aside. This wasn’t the moment to think about those kinds of things. I didn’t want to lose control only because I let my thoughts stray to dangerous places. I wanted to enjoy every fucking second of this, especially because I didn’t know how many more chances we would get together.
I focused on Lily’s sweetness, until she finally came apart, stifling her moans in my pillow. I wished I could hear her cry out without restraint, without the fear of getting caught. One day. One day, I’d really make her mine. I’d figure out a way.
I pulled my fingers out and sat back, relishing the sight of her heaving chest as she enjoyed the aftermath of her orgasm. Slowly her eyes opened and she smiled. Damn it. That smile got me every time. I bent over her and kissed her, then I reached for the drawer in my nightstand and grabbed a condom.
Lily watched me, and the briefest flicker of nervousness crossed her face.
I paused. “Are you sure you want to do this?” I wanted to shoot myself for asking. I wanted nothing more than to be in her, to make her mine, to feel her walls around my cock. Why did I have to act all noble? Who was I kidding?
She licked her lips in the most torturous way possible and whispered, “Yes, I want you.”
Thank God. I kissed her lips again. I slid off the bed and got out of my underwear. My cock strained to attention. I quickly rolled the condom over it before I climbed back on the back. This wasn’t the first time Lily had seen me naked, but today there was a flicker of anxiety on her face when she watched my cock. I moved between her legs, letting my fingers trace the soft skin of her thighs.
There was only trust in her eyes. I didn’t deserve that much trust from her, and yet I fucking loved seeing it on her face. I supported my weight on my elbows and started kissing her gently. The tip of my cock rested lightly against her wet heat. I wanted to bury myself in her and it took every ounce of self-control to stay still and wait for her to relax under me. I hooked my hand under her thigh and pulled her legs a bit father apart. I looked deeply into her eyes, then I shifted my hips and started to push into her. I didn’t take my eyes off her as I inched into her tight heat. She felt so fucking amazing. Tight, and warm and wet, and I just wanted to push into her to the hilt. Instead I focused on Lily’s eyes, on the way she trusted me to make this good for her, to take care of her and be careful. Her face flashed with discomfort when I wasn’t even halfway in. I paused but her fingers on my shoulders tightened. “Don’t stop,” she said quickly.
“I won’t,” I promised. Stopping was the last thing I wanted to do. I traced my lips over her temple, then I pushed further into her until I reached her barrier. I didn’t tell her it would hurt. She’d only tense. I pushed the rest of the way into her. Her walls squeezed my cock tightly. I didn’t move.
Lily’s face was contorted in pain.
“It’s okay,” I murmured. “This was the worst part.” At least, I hoped it had been. She felt so tight around me, I was worried if I started moving, I’d make things only worse for her, but I couldn’t stay in her like that forever. And I really wanted to move, wanted to lose myself in her. “Lily?”
She gave me a shaky smile. “I’m okay. It’s not as bad as it was.”
That wasn’t really something a guy wanted to hear from the girl he was with. I wanted to make her feel good but I knew it would be difficult during her first time. Even though I wanted nothing more than to move, I decided to stay as I was and kiss her for a while. My cock screamed in protest.
“You can really move,” she whispered. And that was everything it took. I withdrew almost all the way before I slowly slid back into her.
She exhaled, fingers digging into my back. I slowed even further and tried to go not quite as deep and soon Lily’s body loosened under me. I made love to her like that for a long time, and when she responded with the first hesitant moan, I wanted to fucking scream in triumph. But I couldn’t last forever, not with the way her walls clamped around me and I had a feeling she wasn’t going to come. Next time she would. And there would be a next time, I knew that now. When it came to Lily, I couldn’t resist temptation.
I sped up even more until I felt my cock tighten and released into her. I held Lily tightly as I rocked my hips desperately, then I stilled.
She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against my chest.
“Are you okay?” I murmured.
She nodded, but didn’t say anything. I pulled back slightly and tilted her face up, worried she was crying. But she merely looked exhausted, and happy.
Relief washed over me. I pulled out of her slowly and removed the condom. Before I thrust it into the trash bin, I caught sight of the blood smeared on the condom.
For some reason it took that image to let reality set in. Fuck. What had I done?
“Romero?” Lily whispered. I lay down beside her and pulled her into my arms. She didn’t need to know my thoughts. I didn’t want her to worry.
It didn’t take long for her to fall asleep but I lay awake for hours. Eventually I slipped out of bed and walked toward the window. I stayed out toward the ocean for a long time. Regret wasn’t a useful emotion. You couldn’t undo the past. I turned back to the bed.
Lily lay curled up under the blanket, only her beautiful hair and peaceful face peeking out. She was deep asleep. I needed to wake her soon, so she could return to her own room. The sky outside the window was already starting to turn grey. Soon people would get up and it would be too risky if Lily was still in my room then. I should have sent her away immediately afterward for her own safety, but I didn’t have the heart to do it, and I didn’t want to see her go either so soon after what we’d done.
“Fuck,” I muttered. So far everything Lily and I had done had been risky but untraceable. But this, this could destroy Lily’s reputation and even start a war. Taking Lily’s virginity was a selfish thing to do. I knew better. I’d learned to make reasonable decisions over the years, to make decisions that were good for the Famiglia. But today I’d ignored my duty and my promise to Luca.
Lily sighed in her sleep and turned around. The blankets moved with her and the pink spot on the sheets became visible. I closed my eyes. Fuck. This was supposed to happen in her wedding night. But I knew that Rocco Scuderi would never give Lily’s hand to me in marriage. I was only a fucking soldier. Respected and honorable, but a soldier nevertheless. Despite my guilt over having taken Lily’s virginity, I knew I would do it again. I’d wanted to make her mine for so long, and this was the only way I could. At least now a part of her belonged to me, at least she’d never forget our night together, but I also knew it wasn’t enough. I didn’t want Lily to have only the memory of our shared night for the rest of her days, I wanted to remind her of the pleasure I could give her every night, I wanted to taste her, smell her, feel her every fucking night. I wanted to have her fall asleep in my arms and wake up next to me in the morning. I wanted to make her mine for everyone to know, but there was no way in hell I could do this without betraying Luca and the Famiglia. Luca treated me like a brother but if I did this, if I went against the Outfit by claiming Lily officially, he’d have to put me down like a rabid dog for the good of the Famiglia.
With a sigh, I walked toward the bed and bent over Lily. I brushed her hair away from her face. “Lily, you need to wake up,” I whispered.
Her eyelids fluttered and she turned on her back. The blankets slipped away, revealing her perfect breasts. Her nipples puckered at the cool air in the room. My cock stirred in response. I leaned over her. She even still smelled like me. Fuck. I was already getting hard again. She opened her eyes and gave me a sleepy smile. Happiness and trust shone on her face. Didn’t she realize that I’d destroyed her life last night?
A light blush appeared on her cheeks. I kissed her forehead. “You need to leave,” I said.
She froze, eyes filling with insecurity. “Did I do something wrong last night?”
Good Lord. I wanted to stab myself with my fucking knife. I was such an asshole. I should have never let it come this. Lily was a good girl and I’d ruined her. I kissed the spot below her ear, then her cheek. “No, you did nothing wrong, honey.”
She relaxed. She lifted her hand to the back of my head, looking hopeful. “Can we snuggle a bit?”
She sounded fucking vulnerable. Of course she wanted closeness after last night, and I wanted it too, but it was getting light outside. But the way she was looking at me I couldn’t tell her ‘no’. I slipped under the blankets and she pressed up against me. Her naked skin brushed mine, and all of my senses sprang to life. I pushed my lust down. This wasn’t the time. I stroked her hair. “Are you okay?”
She nodded against my shoulder. “I’m a bit sore.” She sounded embarrassed.
I pressed a kiss against her temple. And I wasn’t sure why I said it because it definitely didn’t make things easier but it slipped out, “I love you.”
She sucked in breath before whispering, “I love you too.”
I was digging my grave and hers too, only because I couldn’t control my dick, my heart and my mouth.
She let out a small happy breath. She didn’t seem to realize in how much trouble we were. I couldn’t stop feeling guilty. I wished I could say I would have acted differently if I got the chance, but I knew I’d sleep with her again. I’d wanted her, still wanted her.
