Liliana
I couldn’t believe Romero and I had actually slept together. I didn’t feel regret. Maybe it would come at some point but I couldn’t imagine it.
It had been painful and yet it was the happiest moment in my life so far. And afterwards when Romero had admitted he loved me, I’d wanted to tell everyone about it. Let them get angry, let them call me names, what did I care? I was happy, and that was all that mattered. But I knew better. Romero and I needed to keep it a secret. Maybe one day we’d figure out a way to make it official without causing a war, but right now I only wanted to enjoy our time together. The summer was drawing to a close but Father didn’t seem to want me back. Maybe he’d forget I existed and I could move to New York for good.
The first time I’d faced Aria and Gianna after losing my virginity, I’d worried they’d see something was different, but of course they hadn’t. Nobody suspected anything.
Maybe that realization was why I got more daring.
It was almost noon and I could hardly keep my eyes open. Romero and I had made love until the early morning hours, and once I’d been back in my room I’d only managed two hours of sleep before I had to get up for breakfast again.
“Why don’t you rest on the sofa for a while? You look tired,” Aria said when I yawned again. We’d been rifling through a brochure that detailed events in the Hamptons for something to do in the next few days. Sunbathing and swimming were getting old.
Gianna wiggled her eyebrows behind Aria’s back. “She does. She doesn’t seem to get enough sleep at night.”
Romero glanced over from where he stood with Luca and Matteo, but he didn’t seem worried. I decided to ignore Gianna’s comment. I stood from the table. “You’re probably right, Aria. I’ll lie down for a bit.”
Aria set the brochure aside and peered down at her watch before she looked over to Luca. “If we want to head out for lunch, we should leave soon.”
Luca nodded.
I walked toward the sofa, stretched out and closed my eyes. I almost immediately drifted off into a light slumber, only interrupted by the sound of Aria and Luca leaving, followed a few minutes later by Gianna’s and Matteo’s laughter as they headed for the beach. In the following silence, I felt my mind drift off again.
“I’m wearing you out,” Romero said from close-by.
I opened my eyes to find him standing over me with a smirk. Slowly my own lips curled into a grin and my sleepiness began to disappear. I hooked my leg behind his knee in an attempt to make him fall forward and preferably land on top of me, but Romero was too strong. After a quick glance toward the terrace door he leaned down, though, and gave me a kiss. When he was about to pull back again, I wrapped my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist.
“Aria and Luca are out for lunch, and Gianna and Matteo will spend the day on the boat. That leaves the house to us.”
Romero looked conflicted but when I pressed my core against his crotch, I knew I had him. He was already hard. With a growl, he lowered himself on top of me. Our lips eagerly found each other. After a few minutes of heated kissing and roaming hands, Romero drew back. “It’s too risky to have sex out here.”
“I know, but there are other things we can do,” I said, before I pulled Romero’s head back down for another kiss. He didn’t protest again, which might have also had something to do with the fact that I was rubbing his erection through his pants.
For some reason making out with Romero in the middle of the living room made things seem more real between us, like we could maybe be an official couple, and not just something that needed to happen in the secrecy of darkness.
My lips were raw from Romero’s kiss, but I loved it. Romero slipped his hand under my shirt and sneaked his fingers under my bra cup, finding my nipple. I gasped and arched off the sofa. Romero kissed me even harder. I swung my leg over his lower back, pulling him even tighter against me. I couldn’t wait to feel him without the clothes between us. Maybe I could convince him to risk a quickie in the living room.
A door banged and steps rang out, but there was no time to react before Aria appeared in the living area. “Lily, I–” She snapped her lips shut and froze, so did Romero and I. Romero pulled his hand out from under my shirt and sat back quickly. He held his arms in a way that was supposed to hide his erection, but I doubted he was fooling Aria. My eyes searched the area behind her back but Luca wasn’t there. That was the only good things about our situation.
Nobody said anything for a long time. I tried to reposition my bra and straighten my hair but I wasn’t doing a good job because my hands were shaking. “This isn’t how it looks,” I said, but stopped when I realized how stupid that sounded.
Aria raised her eyebrows as if she thought exactly the same thing. “That’s why I didn’t want you alone with her, Romero. I knew this would happen!”
“You make it sound like I had nothing to do with it. It wasn’t only Romero’s doing,” I said, but Aria hardly paid me attention. She was glaring at Romero. “Why are you back anyway? Shouldn’t you be having lunch with your husband?”
“Are you blaming me for this?” Aria asked incredulously. “Luca got a call that there was trouble in one of the clubs. Something with one of the Russian underbosses, so he dropped me off in the driveway and headed straight to New York. You’re lucky he didn’t come in.”
“If you tell Luca,” Romero began but Aria interrupted him. “I won’t tell him,” she said.
Romero helped me to my feet. “He’s your husband. You owe him the truth.”
What was he doing? He’d be in big trouble if Luca found out, and what if Luca told my father? I gave Romero a confused look but he didn’t react. Then another thought struck me. Maybe he wanted people to find out. Maybe he hoped Luca would approve and would figure out a way for my father to agree on a union between Romero and me. Hope flared up in me.
“Lily, can I talk to you in private, please?” Aria asked.
I nodded, even though my stomach turned from anxiety. Aria was my sister. I loved her and trusted her, but Romero was right. She was also the wife of the Capo, and I wasn’t sure where her loyalties lay. I followed her toward the dining room and then into the kitchen. She didn’t say anything until we’d both settled on bar stools.
“How long has this been going on?” she asked. God, she even sounded like the wife of a Capo, so grown up and responsible.
“A while. Almost since I came to New York,” I admitted. There was really no use in lying any more. And I actually wanted to talk to her about it. Romero and I had been keeping this a secret for close to three months.
Aria nodded slowly, her eyes full of worry. “I should have known. Sometimes I thought I saw you exchanging those secretive looks only lovers do, but I didn’t want to believe it.”
I wasn’t sure what to say, if she even expected me to say anything. “We tried to hide it.”
“Of course, you did!” Aria whispered harshly. “Oh Lily. This is bad, you know that, right? If Dad finds out all hell will break lose. You’ll be in major trouble, and not only that. Father might very well start war over this. After all, Luca promised to keep you safe while you were in New York and having one of his men have an affair with you is definitely a breach of that promise.”
“Affair?” I said offended. What Romero and I had was so much more than that. “You make it sound like it’s just about sex.”
Aria’s eyes widened. “I didn’t mean it like that, but…wait a second. Please tell me you haven’t slept with him yet.” Her expression was so pleading and anxious, I almost considered lying to her.
I bit my lip. “I really love him, Aria.”
“So you did sleep with him,” she said quietly. She made it sound like it was the end of the world.
I nodded. “And I don’t regret it.” I was so glad that I got to share that moment with Romero. I wanted to share so much more with him. Every time I’d slept with him in the last few weeks, I’d grown closer to him, though I didn’t think that was possible.
Aria leaned back and released a long breath. “Father will kill you if he finds out. After the thing with Gianna, he’ll completely lose it.”
“Mother told me to be happy shortly before she died. And Romero makes me happy. I want to be with him.”
“Lily, Father won’t allow it. No matter what any of us says, he won’t let you marry a mere soldier from New York. He can’t gain anything from such a union, not when I’m already married to the Capo and Gianna to the Consigliere.”
“I know,” I said in a whisper. “But…I…” I trailed off. I knew Aria was right. I’d known it pretty much from the beginning. I hated that I had to apologize for loving someone, for wanting to be with that someone. It shouldn’t be like that.
Aria took my hand and linked our fingers. “Some women manage to fake their virginity on their wedding night. Maybe you can do that too. And it’s not like Father has already set up a wedding for you, so we can figure something out until then.”
“Aria, I don’t want to marry anyone else. I only want Romero. I mean it, I love him.”
Aria looked into my eyes for a very long time. I wasn’t sure what she was hoping to find there but I gave her time. “You do, don’t you?” she said, resigned. “What about him? Does he love you?”
“He said it after we made love for the first time.” I’d hoped he would say it again after our first night together but so far he hadn’t. Maybe he wasn’t the type to say it out loud very often.
“Are you sure he’s serious about you?”
“Of course, didn’t you hear what I told you?” I said, but even I could hear the flicker of uncertainty in my voice and I wasn’t sure where it was coming from.
“Some men say things they don’t mean after sex because they feel guilty.”
My eyes widened. “He wouldn’t do that. And if you’re saying he only tried to get in my pants, that’s ridiculous. You know Romero, he wouldn’t use me like that.”
“No, you’re right. Romero isn’t the type and he wouldn’t risk so much for sex. He must care about you if he goes against Luca’s orders.”
“You won’t tell him, right?”
“I told you, I won’t. He’s got enough on his plate already, I don’t want him to worry about this as well. We’ll figure something out. But until then, please be more careful. I’m not going to tell you to stay away from Romero because I suspect you’d just go behind my back, but if someone else finds out, things could really get out of hand.”
“I know,” I said. “Romero and I will be careful.”
Aria pressed her lips together. “And there’s really no way that you’d consider breaking things off with Romero?”
“No,” I said without hesitation.
She smiled sadly and hopped off the bar stool. “I want to talk to Romero now.”
I pushed to my feet and grabbed her arm. “Why? Will you try to talk him into leaving me?”
“Do you really think I’d do that to you?” Aria asked in a hurt tone.
I felt bad instantly but Aria had changed over the years. Maybe it was because she’d taken more responsibilities as Luca’s wife, but sometimes I thought she acted too much like a meddling mother when it came to me. I didn’t doubt she always wanted what she thought was the best for me, only problem was I wasn’t sure if we both agreed on what that was. “No. But why do you want to talk to Romero?”
“I just do,” she said stubbornly. “Please stay here while I go talk to Romero. Do me that favor.”
“Aria, please don’t make a bigger deal out of this than it is.”
“Oh Lily, this is a much bigger deal than you think.” she said before she walked off.
Romero
I wanted to tear my hair out in frustration. We should have been more careful. I usually never let my guard down. I always anticipated possible risks. Today I’d failed on so many levels, it was pitiful.
Aria advanced on me. She looked royally pissed. And I couldn’t blame her. She stopped right in front of me, her blue eyes blazing with anger. “How could you do that? What were you thinking?” she hissed. “But you probably weren’t thinking, at least not with your head.” She made a gesture in the general direction of my crotch.
My eyebrows shot up. This was so unlike Aria. “This isn’t only about sex.”
“Lily said the same thing, but what is it then? You know the rules, for God’s sake. It’s ironic that I have to remind you.”
“I know the rules,” I said tersely, getting angry. But Aria was the last person I should be mad at. She was right.
“Lily said you slept with her.” Aria shook her head. “God, Romero, if someone finds out, Lily will be ruined. Or do you intend to marry her?”
“I can’t. You know that. Your father would never allow it, and if we went against his wishes that would mean war.”
“I know. So why did you do it?”
“I didn’t push Lily if that’s what you think,” I said. Did she think I’d forced her sister somehow? “Lily wanted it too.”
“I don’t doubt it. I see how she’s looking at you. She loves you. Of course she wants to sleep with you, but you should have known better!”
“I know. What do you want me to say? That I’m sorry?”
“You’d be lying,” Aria muttered.
Indignation shot through me but she was right. I wasn’t sorry that I’d slept with Lily, at least not enough that I wouldn’t do it again. “Are you going to tell me to stay away from her now?”
“You’d be going behind my back. And Lily would hate me if I tried to get between you and her. You’ve slept with her already, so it’s not like it matters if you do it again as long as you are careful not to get caught and not to get my sister pregnant.”
“Are you going to give me the talk?” I said in amusement.
“I’m serious. If Lily gets pregnant, then things will get really bad.”
“We’re careful.”
“As careful as you were when I caught you on the sofa?”
“I mean it. Lily won’t get pregnant.”
Aria covered her face with her hands. “God, I can’t believe we’re having this discussion. I wanted Lily in New York so she’d have some fun, but not that kind of fun.”
I wasn’t sure what to say. Guilt weighed heavily on my shoulders, but like Aria had said it was too late now.
“Would you stay away from her if I threatened to tell Luca?” Aria asked as she lowered her hands.
“No,” I said without hesitation.
“Good,” she said, throwing me off track. “At least that means you’re serious about her. Maybe we can find a solution for you and my sister. Let me think about it.”
“I’ve been thinking about it for a long time but maybe you are more lucky than me. Unless we want war, we’d have to convince your father to agree on a union between Lily and me.”
“Gianna and I married for political reasons. Why should Lily not be allowed to marry someone she wants?”
“If I was more than a soldier, then maybe your father would consider it.”
Aria’s eyes lit up. “You could become a Captain with your own group of soldiers. You’ve been working for Luca for so long and he always says you’re his best soldier. The only reason why he hasn’t already promoted you is because he trusts you with me and doesn’t want anyone else as my guard.”
I stared at her. Usually the position of Captain was handed down from father to son. Soldiers rarely received the honor of becoming Captain.
“Father still hasn’t found a husband for Lily. That’s a good sign. Gianna and I were long engaged when we were Lily’s age, so maybe he’s open for suggestions and it would be a good move to improve relations between New York and Chicago again.”
“You’d make a good Capo too,” I said with a smile.
“I’m married to a good Capo, that’s all.”
“You are,” I said. “But I don’t want to become Captain only because you talk Luca into it. I haven’t worked this hard for a pity promotion.”
“I won’t have to talk him into it, and Luca never does anything because of pity. You should know that.”
I nodded. She had a point. “Once you tell him, there’s no going back. He might not take it so well. I went against his direct orders after all. That’s still a crime.”
“Yeah, you did,” Aria said. “But he loves you like a brother. He’ll forgive you. I’ll just have to figure out a way to break it to him.”
“I could talk to him. I have to own up to my actions.”
Aria shook her head. “No, I can be more convincing than you, and he can’t stay mad at me for long.”
I laughed. “You Scuderi women have a way with men.”
Aria smiled for the first time since she’d found Lily and me on the sofa. I took that as a good sign, even though I wasn’t so naïve to think that I’d become Captain tomorrow and then Scuderi would gladly accept me as his future son-in-law. This would be a difficult battle.
