again, but unlike my chronic headaches, this time, I’d done it to myself. There was a time when I’d enjoyed myself at Reno’s version of a business meeting—a private room at Savage Beauties with enough strippers for each of us to have two in our laps if we wanted. Those days had come and gone, though. The routine was stale. Now, I had to drink myself stupid to get through the night.
I deserved to feel like a sweaty ass crack with all the ways I’d abused my body last night. Thank Christ I finally washed away the scent of desperation, cheap perfume, and the beer someone had splashed on me. I’d been too far gone to take care of it last night, but fresh from the shower, I felt like a brand-new man.
My boys were up and moving about by the time I made it downstairs. Julien was bugging Zadie—from more of a distance before I got pissy with them both—and Marco was slumped at the kitchen table with one of his regular fucks sitting beside him, typing away on her phone. I pulled up a seat on his other side, keeping watch on Zadie cooking and Julien running his mouth.
Marco’s mouth turned up in a smirk. “You look like dog shit.”
I gave him a once-over. “Pot, kettle, man.”
“No way. I didn’t imbibe half as much as you. Julien and I had to carry you into the house. You were toasted.”
I rubbed the center of my forehead. “I took it too far.” I glanced at the girl. “Cover your ears, sweetheart.”
With an eye roll, she tugged her hood over her head, unfolded herself from the chair, and stalked into the kitchen to check out what Zadie was doing. I kept my eye on her to see if she’d talk any shit to my pet, but she just peeked at the stove, then propped a hip on the counter, adding herself to Zadie’s audience.
“What’d Reno have to say?” Marco asked.
“Remember when we caught Schiffer pushing scripts and he mentioned Reno isn’t in that line?”
Reno dealt in street drugs, always had. Mostly weed, but also coke and MDMA. That wasn’t his primary money earner, and since I handled most of that end, he let me decide what products we were going to push. I’d seen enough bugged-out meth-heads to be certain we didn’t want to go there. For a time, I’d had a lucrative side business selling performance enhancers to athletes, but I’d stopped that. The end of college was hurtling closer, so I was slowly pulling back, easing my way out.
And Reno was having trouble with that.
“Yeah, I remember.”
“He wants me to find a source for scripts, specifically Oxy. He’s all buzzed about it. Wants it to happen soon.” I cupped my forehead, pressing hard at my aching temples.
“You’re not going there.” Marco wasn’t asking. He wasn’t involved in my business, had never wanted to be, and he couldn’t stand that I was pushing for my brother.
“No, I’m not going there,” I agreed. “Having a calm conversation with my brother is next to impossible. Add in a chick grinding on his dick while shoving her tits in his face, and it’s a no go. So, I drank that shit away. I’ll have to deal with him in time, but last night wasn’t it.”
Marco clucked his tongue. “Just another fucking way to reel you in. You see that, right?”
“I see it.” As soon as I had my college diploma in my hand, I was out of the business. Going legit and all that. Reno knew and had known from the very beginning. He had his thing, and I was going to have mine. He’d agreed to my conditions before I’d started working for him. I was in my second semester of my junior year now, and the end looked all too real. I sensed his low-level panic. And when Reno panicked, nothing good came of it.
Case in point, he was all hyped to move into pharmaceuticals, with me at the helm. That wasn’t happening. He was my brother, I’d throw down for him, I’d take care of business for him, but I was not getting pulled any deeper, not when it was nearing time to walk away.
Marco’s girl came back, slipping into her seat. Julien followed, holding two platters filled with pancakes, eggs, and bacon. Zadie trailed behind him with a bowl of fruit. They set everything on the center of the table, and Julien took the last chair, wasting no time in serving himself a heaping helping of everything.
I grunted. “You’re going first?”
He waggled a brow. “Yep. I set the table and I carried the food. I automatically score higher on the scale than you bitches.”
I’d give him that, even though he was annoying the shit out of me.
Zadie hovered beside the table, gnawing on her bottom lip. Her eyes were trained on the table. Her fingers fidgeted with the hem of her shirt.
“Did you eat?” I asked her. “I guess it’s lunchtime. Did you eat lunch, mama?”
She shook her head. “No, but that’s okay. I’ll grab something at the dining hall.”
“Considering you’re staying for a while, I don’t think that’s a great plan. Take a seat. Grab a plate.”
She looked up, scanning the table. “There are no seats. I’ll just si—”
I scooted back from the table and patted my thigh. “Here’s your seat. Come here.”
She didn’t have to move for me to notice how utterly stiff she was. Her shoulders were so rigid, they were nearly around her ears. This was a far cry from the girl who’d woken me up this morning. I didn’t like it. Not at all.
I slapped my thigh harder this time. “Move your ass, pet, and put it in my lap. Now.”
Marco’s girl drew in a sharp breath. She’d been around a few times and knew damn well not to utter a word. As for my boys…well, I felt their attention on me, but mine was solely focused on Zadie, who was slowly rounding the table.
When she got close enough, I tugged her into my lap, where she perched like a bird on a high wire, ready to fly away at any moment.
Nah, I definitely didn’t like that.
“Relax,” I murmured, sliding my hand under her hair to cup her nape. “You’re not going anywhere, so pretend you like me and lean into me.”
She released a breath, and some of the tension eased from her shoulders, but most of it remained.
“It’s gonna be like that, huh?” Squeezing her nape, I whispered in her ear. “Gonna act like an uptight princess all of a sudden?”
She shook her head and turned so her nose grazed my cheek. “No. I’m just uncomfortable.”
“Mmm. Maybe you just need some food in you.” I picked up a forkful of eggs, holding it up to her mouth. “Eat.”
She hesitated before parting her lips and accepting the offering. I liked that, seeing her lips wrapping around the tines of the fork. Me being the one to offer her nourishment, Zadie taking it into her body. My dick swelled behind the loose fabric of my joggers. No doubt she felt it growing thick and hard under her thigh.
We continued like that through breakfast, one bite for me, one for her. She never relaxed, never leaned into me, and it was driving me out of my mind. She’d been sweet when she’d showed up this morning, and all I was getting now was bitter.
“This was the shit, Zadie.” Marco wiped his mouth and fell back in his chair, rubbing his stomach. “Thanks, girl.”
“Yeah, I hope they’re paying you enough.” Marco’s hookup dragged her fork through the syrup on her plate. “Please don’t tell me you’re cooking for these fools out of the kindness of your heart.”
Zadie shook her head, her fingers clutching the edge of the table. “No, I’m not cooking for them out of the kindness of my heart.”
I slid her hair to one shoulder and nuzzled the crook of her neck. She shivered. “Zadie’s my good girl, and she’s very much appreciated. Don’t worry about what she gets paid.”
Zadie was like a board in my lap. All her soft had gone rigid. Her head was bowed, avoiding not just my eyes, but everyone’s. It bothered me. Really fucking bothered me. And I had no idea how to get it back.
The girl shrugged. “I’m just sayin’—”
I was not in the mood for anything this girl was just sayin’. My head pulsed with pain. The only person I was in the mood for was Zadie, and she was very clearly not in the mood for me.
“Marco, is there a reason there’s a stranger at my table talking to my girl? Questioning my shit? ’Cause if there is, I’d like to know.”
Marco turned his hand over. “I don’t know why she’s questioning your shit, but she’s gonna stop right now.” He wrapped his hand around her wrist and tugged until she stood up. “Come on, baby girl. Time to hit the road.”
She followed him willingly, sliding her hand up the back of his shirt. He was tipping his head down to hers as they turned the corner. I had a feeling it wasn’t quite time to go yet. Marco would handle her, it just might involve his dick in her mouth—and knowing him, she’d tell him thank you for the deposit when he was done.
I let my head fall against Zadie’s back, closing my eyes and rubbing it back and forth. It felt better, just doing that, feeling her warmth through the thin layer of her shirt, her sweet berry scent soothing my aching skull.
“Headache?” Julien asked.
“Yeah. I thought I was going to kill it with breakfast, but it’s settled in.”
Julien had been around me long enough to know the deal with my headaches. He got up, filled up a refillable bottle with water, shook out some pain pills, and brought them to me. Zadie tried to shift out of my lap, but I held her there with my hand anchoring her hip while I swallowed the pills and guzzled water. It would help, but it’d take a while.
“Go back to bed, man,” Julien urged. “You went way too hard last night. I’d almost say it serves you right to feel this bad but…” He shook his head, trailing off.
“But you’re not a sadist?”
He chuckled. “Nah. Now, get your ass in a dark room until it fades.” He got up from the table, grabbing the plates and platters.
“Let me help you.” Zadie tried to push to her feet, but I kept her in my lap, rolling my forehead on her shoulder. “Amir, stop. I need to clean up.”
“I’ve got it, princess.” Julien grinned at her over his shoulder. “You saved my stomach this morning. Washing a few dishes is the least I can do. Now, take my boy to his room and force him to rest.”
I nipped at her ear. “I think that sounds like a really good idea. Take me to my room, princess.”
“I need to remake your bed.” She lifted her chin but kept her eyes down.
“Then let’s go do that.”
My bedroom was blissfully dark. When I closed the door behind me, it was quiet too. Zadie’s shoulders stiffened at the sound of the door clicking shut, but she moved forward, making my bed with efficiency that in no way surprised me. I watched her from the doorway, enjoying the way she looked in my room, like she belonged.
When she finished, she stood by the foot of the bed, her hands clutched in front of her. “If that’s all, I’ll leave you alone. I didn’t get any studying done yesterday, so—”
“No, that’s not all. Get in bed with me.” I winced at the sound of my own damn voice. Jesus, if I could have extracted my brain from my skull, I would have. That held more appeal than the sharp, stabbing pain.
Zadie stepped forward. “Is it that bad?”
“Yeah. It’s that bad.” I pushed her back until her legs hit the bed. She sat down, swinging her feet onto the mattress and scooting over to make room for me. Stretching out beside her, I rolled to my side and shoved my face into her cleavage.
Berries. Rain. Warmth. Zadie.
“Talk to me, mama.”
“About what?”
“Anything. Tell me a story. I don’t know. Just talk.”
Her small hand rested on the center of my back, barely there. “Okay. Um…I’ve always thought it was kind of funny when you called me ‘mama.’ When I was born, my parents fought over what to name me. My dad wanted Sadie, but my mom liked Zadie better. She said it was more unique and had pizzazz.” Zadie giggled, and yeah, I could picture Felicity saying exactly that. “She won because…well, she’d just given birth and that trumps everything. But my dad, he’s a little bit of a ballbuster, so he started calling me grandpa out of spite.”
“Grandpa?” I murmured.
“Mmhmm. He’s Jewish, and Zayde is the word for ‘grandpa’ in Yiddish. My mom hated it so much, but the nickname stuck. To this day, when I talk to my dad, that’s what he calls me. I don’t know if he remembers my actual name.”
“Don’t think I’m going to call you grandpa.”
“No, I wouldn’t want you to.” Her hand glided up my back to the base of my head. Fingertips pressing into my scalp, she rubbed up to my crown then back down. “Does this feel okay?”
“Fuck yeah. Keep talking.”
“Zadie doesn’t mean grandpa. I don’t want you to think my mom would have done that to me. It’s just an alternate spelling of Sadie, which means princess in Hebrew. Sometimes my dad would call me ‘princess grandpa’ to drive her really nuts. It’s really no wonder they’re divorced.” She sighed. “More?”
“Keep talking, princess.”
Her fingers were working magic on my scalp, scratching and rubbing in smooth, rhythmic motions. My head was resting on her perfect, magnificent tits, and my arm was circled tight around her middle, trapping her against me. The pain in my head hadn’t eased, but her lilting whisper made it bearable.
“My dad is the most gentle man I’ve ever known. He hates seeing suffering and will do anything to end it. A bleeding heart, my mom says, but I don’t know. I think he just has an exceptionally good heart.”
The beat of her heart thrummed against my ear. Steady, easy, soothing in its predictable pattern. When I got headaches, I always preferred complete silence. That was before I’d known what it was like to lay my head on a soft, pretty tit and listen to an angelic voice talk-sing me a story about her really nice dad.
“We lived in this big, old house in Oregon that had a shed in the back I still think is haunted. A mama raccoon moved in one year and had her babies. My mom wanted to call animal control because, of course, mama kept digging through our garbage, but my dad wouldn’t hear of it. When the babies got bigger, they moved on, but something went wrong, and a baby got left behind. I guess because it was missing a paw.”
Her cool fingers trailed down the side of my face, soft as feathers, then back to my forehead, cupping it firmly in her palm. I almost shuddered from how good it felt. She had no fucking idea what kind of relief she was bringing me.
“My dad couldn’t leave the baby there. He scooped it up, held it in front of me, and said, ‘Grandpa, meet your sibling, Charlie.’” She giggled softly. “Charlie was adorable and snuggly. Dad hand-fed her and built her all kinds of contraptions to keep her busy. It was an utter disaster, but we both loved her too much to admit defeat until we had no choice. Dad found a wildlife rescue sanctuary for her to live, and he ended up volunteering there. He still does, even though Charlie is long gone. He calls me all the time to tell me about the animals that come in. ‘Grandpa, your new sibling, Arthur, has arrived.’ My mom never understood it, but I did. I think because I’m just like him. I can’t stand to see anyone suffer. It physically pains me, even if it’s a stranger. Even if it’s my captor.”
My mouth curled at the edges. I liked everything about her story, and I heard her message loud and clear. She wasn’t comforting me now because she liked me, more like it was a compulsion, part of her nature. She should have known by now I had no problem taking full advantage of her nature if that meant I got to have my head on her tits and her hands rubbing my head.
“I like your dad,” I said.
She exhaled. “Yeah, I do too. I don’t know yet if I’ll go back to Oregon when I’m done with school, but I can’t imagine always living so far from him.”
“Not a Cali girl, Zadie?”
“I don’t really fit in here.”
“It’s a big state.”
She breathed out a laugh. “That’s true.” She slid her fingers through my hair. “I don’t really know what I’ll do. What about you? Are you a Cali boy, Amir?”
“Can’t picture myself anywhere else. I don’t think I’d fit in at a wildlife sanctuary in Oregon.”
“It’s a big state.”
That made me laugh. “You trying to get me to move to Oregon with you, mama? Is that what this is?”
“No, I’m not that naive.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Nothing.” She cupped my forehead again, spreading warmth all over my pain. “Shhh. Close your eyes. No more talking.”
I wanted to argue with her, but there was a railroad spike driving through my skull every time I spoke, so I took orders, shut my fucking mouth, and closed my eyes. I’d done nothing in my life to deserve this kind of treatment, and truth be told, I’d stolen it for myself.
I didn’t feel the least bit guilty about it either.
My conscience was so clear, I fell asleep with my head on Zadie’s tits, her hand in my hair.
When I woke up, she was gone, the sheets cold. I didn’t like it, but she’d be back. And I’d decided I wasn’t letting her go at the end of the semester.
She’d be pissed I was reneging on our agreement.
But what did she expect? Everyone knew there was no honor among thieves, and I had every intention of stealing my soft little princess and keeping her as my own.
