Ithink I made a mistake.
No, it’s not a probability.
The fact that I’m even thinking about it is a clear indication that I did make the fucking mistake.
And I’m in the middle of an even bigger mistake.
Grabbing an empty glass of water, I stare over my kitchen counter.
If someone had told me I’d witness a scene such as the one in my living area, I would’ve paid their therapy bills.
Maybe this is an indication that I should start with my own therapeutic session. The reason is simple. As strange as the view is, it feels…fucking right coupled with all the wrong emotions I shouldn’t entertain.
Nicole, who graduated from multitasking school with flying colors, is helping Jayden do his homework while going through her pending assistant tasks.
Her brother, Jayden.
A nine-year-old little fucker of epic proportions. He’s almost like a younger Nicole but with more bite and less snobbishness.
As much as I hate to admit it, the little fucker has grown on me since I first met him a week ago. Not only is he as allergic to stupidity as I am, but he has a sassy mouth that nearly rivals his sister’s.
Almost.
It’s part of the reason why I opened my home to them. I told Nicole I wouldn’t be driving back and forth to her shabby flat for dinner and demanded she bring it to me.
Although her place should be listed as a noise, danger, and life hazard, that’s not actually the real reason I no longer want to go there.
The thing is, I couldn’t keep seeing her in her skimpy robes and then have to get up and leave with a hard-on bigger than Mount Everest.
Naturally, she gave me a piece of her mind and blathered about how not everyone can afford a luxurious flat. She has this annoying tendency where she likes to express whatever’s on her mind.
She usually goes red at my biting replies, though, so we’re basically pushing and pulling with no strings attached.
Anyhow, after she agreed to bring me dinner every night—correction, after I gave her no choice—I provoked Jayden so he’d suggest that he’d tag along. I wouldn’t have said it myself if I were on the brink of death.
Even I know that their shitty, humid flat is not good for his condition. Not to mention the endless noise that can be heard through the paper-thin walls.
Even the cat is constantly jolted awake by a sudden thud or scream in that hellhole.
The same cat that’s currently rubbing against my sweatpants and leaving hair galore. In the span of a week, she ruined exactly five of my suit jackets and dirtied double that amount of the rest of my clothes.
And yes, even the cat, Lolli, had to come along. Jay insisted not to leave her alone.
Lolli.
Jesus fucking Christ. Nicole couldn’t be more predictable than a criminal who’s been caught red-handed pleading not guilty.
The cat mewls, probably trying to get my attention, so I sigh and lower myself to pet her. She purrs, headbutting my leg, and then she jumps on my knee.
“Give you an inch and you’ll take a mile, huh?”
She just meows in response and it almost sounds like a whine.
What the fuck am I doing?
Jesus.
Not only have I opened my house to Nicole but also to her brother and cat.
And the worst part is that my flat feels…full. There’s no emptiness echoing from the walls or the biting edge of loneliness.
Though that dreadful atmosphere does return after I drive them home later. Which defies the whole purpose of my not going to their awful neighborhood that could turn into a crime scene at any second.
Still, I couldn’t let them take a taxi.
Not at night, when the psychos and predators come out to play.
It’s enough that she ran away from England. However, something tells me that wasn’t only because of Jayden.
Uncle Henry saw the bruises on her face, not the baby’s. She was the one who was hurt.
I didn’t ask, because she would’ve brushed me off. Which is her modus operandi for everything lately.
More specifically, ever since I casually mentioned that I would fuck her.
Well, not so casually, considering that I wanted to make it a condition to keep her job.
Harassment much? Probably.
I should be on the law circuit’s black list, not on the front of every single one of its magazines.
The job was hers anyway, but the fucking part was my way to make her feel like she means nothing.
She doesn’t.
Which is why I have to fuck her to prove a point. Ever since she barged into my life again, I’ve been constantly hard like a teenage boy with hormonal issues and abstaining like a fucking priest.
Now, I could’ve fucked a random brunette. Like those two girls I kicked out the day she came here and I touched her beauty mark.
I was positively hard at that moment, but not for them or their less than subtle advances. I was hard for her.
The woman who’s driving me bonkers and becoming a problem in my scheme to take over the world. Sorry, I mean, to regain control over my life.
And I had to come all over my hand like a caveman because Nicole wasn’t excited about my offer to fuck her out of my system.
She was disgusted by it.
I could see that emotion written all over her delicate features and could hear her say her famous line, “Eww, gross. Not in this lifetime, loser.”
And I might’ve become a colossal jerk as a response. It was either that or bend her over my desk and take her from behind like an animal in heat.
I need to take care of this business as soon as possible. The more she lurks in my fantasies, the harder it’ll be to chase her away.
And that should happen soon-ish. Today, if my dick has any say in it.
The trial for Jayden’s custody is a few months away, and after that, I’m going to refer her to another branch of W&S in some other state.
I can’t live with Nicole in the same city and also hope to be able to breathe properly.
That’s simply not going to happen.
“She likes you.” Jayden’s voice interrupts my bewildered musings as he stands in front of me, motioning at Lolli, who’s practically sleeping on my lap. “Even more than me, the traitor.”
I smirk. “I’m the likable type.”
“Not to Nikki.”
This little jerk needs to be less direct about his words or I’m going to strap some duct tape to his mouth.
“Your sister has terrible taste,” I say loud enough for her to hear me.
If she does, she doesn’t show it, because she’s still engrossed in the tablet. I doubt she’s even noticed that Jayden left her side.
“No, she doesn’t.” He still takes offense on her behalf, crossing his arms over his awfully juvenile Minions T-shirt. “Just because she doesn’t like you, doesn’t mean she doesn’t like others.”
I narrow my eyes, then continue to pet Lolli. “Others?”
“Yeah, Nikki has a lot of guys wanting her.”
A red-hot feeling forms a haze over my vision and it takes everything in me not to revert to the bitter cunt I was eleven years ago.
When a lot of fucking wankers wanted her, too. When they looked at her like they wanted their tiny dicks inside her every hole.
But I didn’t have to worry about it much, because she always, without exception, told them, “Eww, gross,” and looked at them as if they were dust on her pristine shoes.
All of them.
Every single one.
Except for the fucking cunt from that night.
Pretending I’m fascinated with Lolli’s black furry head, I ask, “She introduced them to you?”
“No, she says she doesn’t have time for them.” There’s a grim expression on his face. Guilt.
He feels sorry, probably figuring out he’s the reason why his sister doesn’t have time to live her life.
This kid is too sharp for his own good.
“She could have time for me,” I announce out of nowhere. “Considering we work together almost every day”
It’s Jayden’s turn to narrow his brown eyes on me. “You still haven’t proved yourself worthy, Dan.”
“I make triple digits from the attorney job alone. I work with mega international corporations and a sovereign family in Europe, not to mention I have more money than ten generations would be able to spend, even if they flew first class to Mars. Oh, and I have a model’s face and body that photographers won’t stop moaning about. I’m the best choice you have.”
His eyes widen, but then he clears his throat. “That’s only on paper.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You’re the perfect candidate except for one small detail. Nikki still doesn’t like you.”
“That is not true.”
“Don’t think I didn’t notice that she avoids you every chance she gets.”
I clench my fist, stopping myself from strangling Lolli and Jayden with her.
“That’s because she’s playing hard to get.” Or she’s actually disgusted with me, judging by her horrified expression.
“What does that mean?”
“Not so know-it-all now, huh?”
He lifts his small chin. “Either tell me or I won’t support you.”
“You’ll support me anyway, because you know I’m the one.”
“Keep telling yourself that, Dr. Evil.” He places a hand at his hip, like Nicole. “Now what does playing hard to get mean?”
“That she pretends she’s not interested so I’ll chase her more. Girls do that all the time.”
“Why?”
“No clue. Ask them.”
He regards me for a bit. “In that case, I’ll grant you a chance.”
“Grant me?”
“Yeah, consider yourself on a trial period.”
“I’m honored,” I mock.
“As you should be. I don’t do this all the time.”
“Wow, Your Majesty. That’s so benevolent of you.”
He grins, showing me his missing teeth. Then he reverts to his serious expression. “Hey, Dan. If you hurt my sister, I’m going to scratch your BMW and burn your luxurious apartment.”
“I’ll sue you for property damage.”
“I’m a minor. You can’t sue me.”
“I sure as fuck can and you might go to juvie for it.”
“Fine.” He rolls his eyes. “I’ll pay someone else to do it.”
I can’t suppress a laugh at how serious he sounds. “You can still get in trouble for it, and next time, don’t tell anyone your plans or it could be used against you.”
“Oh.” He scratches his chin like an old man who’s channeling wisdom. “Good to know.”
“That would be legal advice and I get paid by the hour. Since your only fortune is your Minions collection, I’m not interested in it. I demand another currency. You’ll help me.”
“First of all, I didn’t ask for legal advice, so I refuse to pay for it. But I will help you under one more condition.”
“What now?”
“Can you tell me how to get away with murder?”
I pause at the serious tone in his voice, the sharp gleaming in his eyes. It’s not a question he asked for the sake of asking or due to curiosity. He’s actually harboring such thoughts.
“You have someone you want to murder?”
“No,” he blurts. “I’m just wondering.”
“You can’t get away with murder, Jay.”
“Yes, I can. Aren’t you a lawyer who helps people get away with it?”
“That’s a criminal defense attorney. I deal with international companies.”
“So you’re the boring type of attorney?”
“The richest type. I travel to a lot of exotic places, too.”
His eyes shine brighter than light. “Really?”
“Yup.” Though I skip the fact that I don’t find pleasure in it.
He kicks an imaginary pebble. “Nikki and I have never been anywhere. Well, I was in London when I was a baby but I don’t remember that, so it doesn’t count.”
“You never went back to England?”
“No. That’s where my father is.” Jay purses his lips.
“I assume you don’t like him?”
“No, he’s a twat.”
“You met him?”
“Once. He came to visit us two years ago when we used to live in Colorado, and Nikki told me to hide, but I heard him saying bad things to her and—“
“Jay!”
He startles at Nicole’s voice before his small body goes still. She’s near us now and probably heard the last bit of the conversation.
Her face has turned a bright shade of red and her fingers tremble as she motions to the table. “Go finish your homework.”
Jayden lowers his head, giving me an apologetic glance, and drags his feet back to where he left his homework.
Holding Lolli up, I put her near her bowl of food and stand to my full height. Nicole plants her hands on the counter and gets in my face, even though the surface separates us. “Stop talking about unnecessary things with Jay. Anything that has to do with his father is prohibited.”
I try to ignore the way her tits strain against her white shirt or how a blush creeps up her delicate neck.
Try being the operative word since my dick is in a constant state of stimuli and is warring with my briefs and trousers as we speak.
I’m surprised I can speak in a human tone. “Are you sure prohibition is the best way to raise a child who’s asking about how to get away with murder?”
Her eyes that resemble the most exotic plants widen. “He…he asked that?”
“He’s a lot sharper than you think and happens to notice things, even when you try to hide them.”
“What else did he say?”
“What are you willing to do to find out? I have an interesting currency I’d like to try.”
Her cheeks turn a bright, shiny crimson that makes her resemble a tomato.
It’s her cue to run in three, two, one—
“I’m not willing to do anything,” she blurts, then whirls around and joins Jayden.
I grab the edges of the counter and curl my fingers around it so hard, I’m surprised none of my tendons snap.
If I was suspecting it before, there’s no doubt now.
She is avoiding me.
Whether it’s repulsion or something else, I have no clue. All I’m sure about is that it’s provoking my nasty side.
Breathing in a harsh intake of air, I storm to my home office and make some international phone calls. Work always keeps me grounded enough to keep me from thinking about needless fucking things.
Like the goddess with a body of sin sitting in my living area.
Apparently, work isn’t a solution either if all my brain thinks about is a Pornhub version of Nicole.
Jesus.
I retrieve my phone in a desperate attempt to find a distraction—that’s not Pornhub.
The text I find on my screen allows me to breathe easier.
Astrid: Still alive?
I grin, typing back.
Daniel: Shagging the whole of NYC as we speak.
In my head. And not the whole of the city, just a fucking annoying someone in the middle of it.
Astrid: Have I told you that you’re a pig lately?
Daniel: In as many colorful words as your palettes. I’m kind of desensitized to it after fourteen years of hearing it, little bugger.
Astrid: Wow. I can’t believe we’ve known each other that long. Maybe we should start celebrating milestones.
Daniel: You sure you want to add more dates to the number of birthdays you have to keep up with, considering all the spawns you keep giving birth to?
Astrid: There’s a thing called a calendar. And did you just call my children spawns?
Daniel: All children are.
All except for Jayden because he acts like a thirty-year-old. I contemplate telling Astrid that Nicole has a brother, but that will bring on a whole other line of questions that I’m not ready to answer.
Naturally, I’ll tell Astrid about Nicole.
Eventually.
After she’s no longer working with me and belongs in the past tense.
Or maybe I can get away with not mentioning her to Astrid at all. There’s no love lost between the two women and…fuck, I don’t want to see the disappointment on my best friend’s face if she finds out I’m lusting after her evil stepsister.
It was that way in the past, too. I hated wanting Nicole despite knowing my best friend’s feelings toward her.
Astrid: I’m going to throw this back in your face when you have your own kids, Bug.
Daniel: Not foreseeable for the next five to six decades.
Astrid: You’d probably be dead around that time.
Daniel: Exactly.
Astrid: You really don’t plan to get married and have kids? Ever?
Daniel: Marriages are overrated. They’re just a glorified contract for a socially acceptable whoring agreement. They’re messy, full of betrayals, and usually end with sloppy divorces and a hefty check for the solicitor.
Astrid: Just because your parents’ marriage was messy doesn’t mean all marriages are. Look at mine.
Daniel: Three kids and thinking about a fourth? How is changing nappies going for you, Bugger?
Astrid: I can’t believe you’ve become so cynical, Bug.
Always was. Just tried to hide it with a charming façade in the past.
Daniel: I’m a realist.
Astrid: How about kids then?
Daniel: Wrong number. Not interested.
Astrid: Damn you lol. I mean, who will inherit your fortune? Who are you making all that money for?
Daniel: A million and one cat organizations. I would’ve given them to your children, but they have the King surname and have been richer than me since they were fucking toddlers, so I’m going for the next best thing.
Astrid: I can’t believe you’re choosing cats over actually fathering children.
Daniel: Everyone has different priorities. Mine include not changing nappies.
But even as I text that, my mind reels to when Aspen first told me about Nicole’s custody case.
For some illogical reason, I hoped—no, I wished—that Nicole had been raising our child. After all, I didn’t use a condom that time.
It didn’t matter that the maths didn’t align and that if she actually had been pregnant, she would’ve shown during our senior year.
It didn’t matter that in my head, she cheated on me with that fucker.
At that moment, I wanted Jayden to be mine and hers. A link that would connect us for years.
That was crushed to pieces once I saw the official documentation, but I asked her the question anyway.
It was worth it, if not for anything else but to see the surprised expression on her face.
Astrid and I text back and forth for half an hour, then she ignores me when Levi comes home.
Or he probably distracted her.
I lose count of the number of times he kisses her, open-mouthed, while we’re on a video call, just to force me to end it. I try to give him the middle finger by continuing to watch, but apparently, hearing Astrid moan is my limit.
That’s similar to imagining my mother having sex.
And now, I need bleach for my brain.
I stand up and go to grab a coffee, completely intent on ignoring Nicole’s presence.
But the moment I step into the living area, I pause.
Because they’re asleep. All three of them.
Jayden is holding on to the remote as a film plays on the TV. Despicable Me. No surprise there.
Lolli is curled up to his side and Nicole’s head is lying on the sofa beside them while she’s in a sitting position, the papers and the tablet snug on her lap.
I should wake them up and send them home, but the peacefulness of the whole picture keeps me rooted in place.
It’s the first time in…ever that I’ve seen Nicole off guard. Looking almost soft.
And my dick hardens against my sweatpants.
Fuck.
I endure the discomfort for long enough to get some blankets and go back to them. I cover Jayden first, then take away the remote and switch off the TV.
Carefully, I remove the papers from between Nicole’s fingers and move her so she’s more comfortable on the carpet. It’s thicker than the floor in her flat. The better option would be to carry her to a room, but she’d probably wake up.
Lolli peeks at me like a sneak as I place a pillow under Nicole’s head, then cover her.
What? I glare at the cat. If she gets sick, I’ll be the one without an assistant.
Lolli gives me a haughty glance as if thinking, Whatever makes you sleep at night, mate.
A moan mixed with a sigh rips from Nicole’s bitable lips and I remain there, perched over her like a fucking devil.
My fingers latch onto the cover, then I slowly trail them to her frail neck, to the visible veins beneath her transparent skin and the delicate contours of her face.
She’s like a fucking sin waiting to happen.
A sin I should’ve committed a long time ago.
Her lids flutter and I retract my hand before I act on some disturbing necrophilic thoughts.
I glare at Lolli, the only witness of my fuckboy moment, then stride to my room, shutting the door behind me not so gently.
I spend ten minutes pacing, another fifteen minutes doing push-ups, and another ten minutes contemplating Pornhub for real.
But here’s the problem, I don’t need fucking Pornhub.
It’s not just any gratification that I’m after. My dick’s tastes have become singular and pickier than my stomach about food.
After getting rid of my clothes, I step into my shower and hit the cold water button.
The state of my hard-on, however, updates from mildly annoying to I probably need to fuck the nearest object. Slamming one hand against the shower wall, I grab my cock with the other one and jerk off like a teenager with anger issues—hard, fast, and with the intention to get the bloody hell off.
I jam my eyes shut, feeling the snarl lifting my upper lip as I pump the length of my dick.
And just like that, her face appears in front of me. The same face she made when I fucked her that time when she made me her first. The same goddess-like body she had back then.
Her tits are round and full and tipped with dusty pink nipples that make my mouth fucking water.
Her pussy is smooth and waiting for me to fuck it the hell up.
I’m thrusting inside that pussy now, over and over, until her moans echo in my ears, bleeding into my veins and infecting my system.
This is the reason I hate blondes. I always, without exception, see them as her.
With brunettes, I can keep my distance. I can pretend that my type isn’t the only woman with whom sex ever meant something.
Her moans echo in my ears and I up my pace, pretending that my brutish, callous hand is her inviting, delicate pussy.
A gasp reverberates around me and I frown. They’re supposed to be moans, not gasps.
Slowly, I open my eyes and stare at the source of the sound.
Nicole stands in the doorway of the bathroom, her limbs shaking and mouth open in an O.
Fuck me.
What are the chances that I’ll empty down that pretty throat that keeps bobbing up and down with her swallows?
Only one way to find out.
