“I’m not doing this.”
I throw away the vegetables I’m supposed to be preparing, but Dad catches them before they reach the sink, then pushes them against my chest. “Keep cutting if you want to eat tonight.”
“We can just order something.” I’m in in no mood to cook, because not only was I ambushed by my family out of nowhere, but Elsa and Teal have been with Anastasia for exactly twenty-three minutes and fifty-four seconds, talking about fuck knows what.
Maybe my twin sister is bringing up the psycho side of both of us and telling her what an absolute arse I am.
Maybe they’re hurting her.
A strong hand clutches me by the shoulder, swinging my attention to the present. “Relax, it’s going fine.”
He’s smiling and has the audacity to be all relaxed. Though this is in fact his usual mood.
Ethan Steel might own a large corporation, but he doesn’t show his business beast side in front of us.
I don’t remember the last time I saw him mad, and when he is, it’s usually because of his children—us.
“You don’t have the right to say that when you brought them here without telling me. This is a low blow and I’m officially not giving you a present on Dad’s day.”
“First of all, I can’t take sides with you. That’s a sure way to start a war. Second of all, if I don’t get my present, I’ll just bring them both back here again.”
I narrow my eyes and he narrows his back. “Now, chop-chop. No takeaways.”
Sighing, I grab the potato and start chopping. I can’t help glaring at him now and again. Despite being in his mid-fifties, Dad looks way younger than that. His hair is still a dark blond with barely any white strands and his eyes are a deep blue, which is the only thing he passed down to Elsa—his biological daughter.
The look in his gaze is wise and collected, as if he’s seen the whole world and nothing could perturb him anymore.
He comes from money—old, powerful, and influential. However, he didn’t only use what he inherited to get where he is today. He invested it and started countless business ventures that made him tenfold richer and more untouchable than his father ever was.
But when we were growing up, he didn’t allow us to be spoiled by that money, never let us use it as a blanket excuse for our actions or a crutch we could fall back on when things didn’t work out.
We have one motto in our family—everyone is responsible for their own actions.
Even Dad himself.
Sometimes, it feels as if he brought together people who could never fit in the same puzzle, and yet, we somehow do.
We’re somehow the most cohesive family I know.
Despite our dark and bloody past.
“Since you’ve brought the whole of London, why didn’t you finish the job and invite Agnus so he could cook?”
“He came with us, but he chose to finish some pending work at the hotel.” He smiles at the mention of his childhood friend/right-hand man-turned-husband. “And he’s Dad to you.”
“No way in fuck will I call him Dad after I’ve known him as Agnus all my life.”
“Teal does that just fine. Or you could call him Papa, like Elsa does.”
“Eww, no way in fuck. And Elsa does that just to egg him on. She still doesn’t like him, in case you didn’t notice.”
“She’ll get there.”
“Those are empty dreams and you know it, Dad.”
A dark look covers his features and I realize I fucked up by reminding him of facts he doesn’t like to think about. My father’s personal life has always been a mess of epic proportions. His first wife, Elsa’s mother, was a psycho who captured me and Teal after we ran away from our mother, because she wanted us to look like her lost son.
As if that wasn’t enough, he was shot by her and spent nine years in a coma, during which time, Agnus took care of us. And when he woke up, it was like he’d become a different person. When we were young, he used to be more outgoing, but after sleeping for almost a decade, he changed.
The only person who stood with him through it all was Agnus. That man can be mistaken for a mute and Elsa calls him a psycho to his face, and honestly, he does have antisocial tendencies, but I knew early on how much he cared for Dad.
In fact, he only took care of us in his absence for Dad’s sake.
What surprised me, however, was when Dad invited the three of us to a family dinner and announced that he and Agnus were in a relationship.
While I always assumed Agnus was fluid orientation-wise, Dad is the straightest person I know. And he still is, I guess.
He once told me that Agnus is the only man he’s attracted to. It’s not about his gender, it’s about him.
So for the first time in his life, he has stability with the one person who understands him the most. The fact that there’s bad blood between his only biological daughter and his husband has always sat wrong with him.
And in hindsight, I shouldn’t have brought their animosity up, so I redirect the convo to a topic Dad likes—praising his husband.
“By the way, I got the annual report of the portfolio Agnus handled for me, and the profit tripled.”
A rare smirk tugs his lips. “He knows what he’s doing.”
“Obviously. I have more money than I can ever spend.”
“You could start your own firm.”
“Not yet. I need to get a few more years of experience first.”
He fixes me with a glare.
I search my surroundings, then focus back on him. “What?”
“Did you send Agnus a thank-you gift for tripling your profit?”
“He doesn’t like those.” I resist the urge to mention that Agnus is a bit antisocial.
Okay, a lot. I’m a million percent sure that he would’ve become a serial killer if he hadn’t met Dad early on in their childhood.
“Send it.”
“Fine. Is he coming over here later?”
“No, he’ll spend the night at the hotel.”
“Why?”
“I told you, for work.”
I squint. “Since when does Agnus choose work over being your shadow?”
“It’s a special type of work. Drop it.”
“Hmm.”
Dad pauses mixing the soup and stares at me. “What?”
“I’m curious, is all.”
“And I’m curious about your girl and the reasons why you didn’t introduce her to us. Is it not serious with her?”
My spine snaps in a line at his swift way of changing the subject and putting me in the limelight. I take a moment to think, then say in a low tone, “It’s not that. It’s…different.”
“Different as in, you don’t wrap it when you’re with her?” A smile tilts his lips, amusement shining in his eyes.
“How did you…? I’m going to fucking kill Daniel.”
“It was Ronan, actually. He animatedly told the story to approximately thirty people at a party. It was entertaining.”
I close my eyes and take a deep breath. “Please tell me Teal and Elsa weren’t there.”
“They were the first in line.”
“Fuck.”
“It’s due to that piece of information they decided to tag along.” He continues mixing the ingredients slowly, taking his time with the task.
Dad has always been the type of person who doesn’t rush into anything. Whether it’s business or his personal life. He’s steady, almost never provoked, to the point that it’s creepy sometimes.
“Are you going to define “different,” Knox?”
“I don’t know how to explain it. I guess I feel more at peace when I’m with her, a little less perturbed, maybe. Just…not stuck in my head or with my shadows or in the past.”
“Interesting.”
“Do you think that’s normal?”
“Depends on your reasons for feeling that way.”
“What if I don’t know those reasons?”
“You do. You just don’t recognize them yet, which is to be expected considering you closed yourself off for decades.”
“I…didn’t close myself off.”
“Yes, you did.” His voice takes on a more soothing tone. “The first day I met you, you were this scrawny kid with protruding bones and marks all over your body. You were obviously hurt, hungry, thirsty, and scared. You were so scared, you shook with it, but even then, at eight years old, you pushed Teal behind you and came out first. Even though it seemed like your brain told you to run, you didn’t. You stood there, head held high and eyes never looking sideways. It was as if you were giving the world the middle finger and telling it that you wouldn’t run anymore, you wouldn’t hide. You wouldn’t be told what to do. From that point on, you’d fight. For yourself and your sister. You had a fire in your eyes, one that rose from the ashes of sealing your past. That fire is the reason I decided to raise you, Knox, but I always knew it hid a deeper layer, a layer you refuse to face, even as an adult.”
My grip tightens on the knife and I take a deep breath to slow down the fucking pounding in my chest. “What do you want me to face, Dad? My whore mother who sold us out for some drugs or the father whose identity she didn’t even know? They’re both gone, and it’s pointless to think about them.”
He faces me, a dip appearing between his brows. “That’s where you’re wrong. They’re may be gone, but the damage they left behind isn’t.”
“I’m fine, Dad. I’m a lawyer, the youngest partner in the firm, in fact, and bloody brilliant at what I do. I’m not a criminal or a lowlife or a manipulator. I. Am. Fine.”
“That’s what Teal said before she broke down.”
I pause, letting the knife fall to the chopping board because I’m tempted to jam it against my own veins just to see blood.
That was one of the reoccurring thoughts I had as a teen, but I resisted, knowing it would make Dad and T sad. There was no way in fuck I would be the cause of misery for the people I cared about the most.
He meets my gaze, his voice lowering even further, as if he doesn’t want to disturb my shadows. “Teal only got better when she faced it, Knox.”
“I’m not her.”
“No, you’re not. You’re worse. At least she recognizes something is wrong and doesn’t go pretending everything is perfect. You need to start doing the same if you wish to keep that girl. No woman likes a man trapped with demons from his childhood.”
Before I can say anything, the door to my bedroom opens and my focus immediately shifts in that direction. Teal comes out first, alone, wearing her poker face, which is a typical expression of hers.
She really only laughs and smiles easily around her husband and son. Gone are the days when I was the only one she smiled at.
I might have hated Ronan a bit at first for taking her away, but I couldn’t hold a grudge for long, considering how much he means to her.
How alive she is when he’s around.
Elsa is arm in arm with Anastasia, who’s now wearing a pair of my sweatpants, and although she’s rolled them up her stomach, they’re still skimming the ground.
Fuck. Seeing her in my clothes is a fucking turn-on.
Would I be yelled at and blacklisted from the next Christmas family gathering if I kicked everyone out so I could fuck her against the door?
I’d probably take that risk.
However, my master plan is put to a halt when I realize Anastasia’s attention isn’t on me.
She’s focused on something Elsa is showing her on her phone and smiling. It’s soft, demure, and appears genuinely happy.
“So that’s your son?” she asks in that delicate voice of hers.
“Yeah, his name is Eli.”
“He…doesn’t look anything like you.”
“I know.” Elsa furrows her brow, appearing dejected. “He’s taking after his father and grandfather, but I’m holding on to a slight bit of hope that his personality will at least resemble mine.”
“Don’t hold out too much hope, princess.” Dad interferes with his usual warmth, as if we weren’t having a heavy as fuck conversation just now. “He’s becoming a King more and more.”
“Dad! You’re supposed to be on my side. Don’t you want your grandkid to take after you?”
“Well, I still have Remi and the dozen children Knox said he’s planning to have.”
Anastasia’s eyes widen and her cheeks flush a deep shade of red while Elsa grins.
“I never said that.” I try to be calm but fail.
“Really, now? I’m pretty sure I heard you say before how comfortable you feel around—” I place a hand to his mouth, cutting him off mid-sentence, and shake my head.
His eyes shine and Teal steps between us, staring us down, which is comical at best because we’re tall and she’s so small that it takes effort on her part. “What are you two hiding? Let me in.”
“Nothing you need to worry about, T. And you might need to stop craning your neck before you sprain it. I don’t want Ron on my case.”
“Screw you.” She elbows my side.
“Oh, you’re fucked, T.” I release Dad to grab her ticklish spot. She starts snorting and begging me to stop, but I don’t.
It’s how I used to cheer her up when she was down, which was most of the time, before she met her husband.
I catch Elsa telling Anastasia, “I’m the grown-up in all of this. Excuse the children’s behavior.”
“You’re on, Ellie,” I say, then Teal and I bring her into the midst of us. Even though she tries to fight it, she’s helpless when we both attack her ticklish side.
“I’m sorry, Jane,” Dad tells her with a smile. “My children aren’t usually this immature.”
She shakes her head, grinning, though her mannerisms are still reserved. “You have a beautiful family, Mr. Steel.”
“Ethan is fine. After all, you’re part of us now.”
I expect Anastasia to be shy, maybe shocked, but her smile drops and she looks absolutely horrified.
As if a ghost from her past has appeared in front of her.
