I shift the car in park before leaning my head against the steering wheel. Closing my eyes, I take a deep breath. I normally come on Sundays, but since tonight is my first shift at Fireflies, I want tomorrow to just hang out and recover from the late night that I’m sure it will be.
I left Jack at home this time. I don’t want him to see her in the shape she’s in. The doctor called earlier this week and said that her vitals have been deteriorating. They don’t know how to fix her.
When she had her stroke, her heart stopped for a few minutes, which meant that her brain wasn’t getting any oxygen. They have done everything they can. It’s up to her to come back to us. Right now, we just wait.
I don’t register anything on the walk to her room. I think I take the elevator, but I don’t remember pressing any buttons.
Seeing her like this is unbearable. I can’t not visit because no matter how bad she gets, this could be my last time seeing her. Every time could be the last time. This pain is insufferable, but one day, I will wish I could feel it just one more time. Because she will be gone … for good.
I don’t know how I’m going to even process that, let alone tell Jack. He idolizes her. But it’s weird; sometimes, I feel like kids are better at dealing with death than adults. Maybe it’s a time thing—because we’ve known them longer. Or maybe kids are just purer, less selfish. They want their loved ones to have peace, be pain-free.
But me? I’m definitely selfish.
I turn the handle on her door, and my heart constricts. Her cheekbones have sunken in more. Her skin is paler than normal.
She looks … well, she looks like death.
My feet find their way to my chair, and I scoot up next to her, taking her hand in mine. A lump instantly grows in my throat. I open my mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.
I drop my head down to our intertwined hands.
Mom … come on. Mom, just wake up. Please. I can’t speak the words out loud. That would make this far too real.
I just want her to hug me, to hold me, to tell me everything will be okay. I just want her back.
The lump grows but refuses to burst free. I want to cry. I want to let everything out—every ounce of pain, frustration, anguish. But nothing comes. The dam is just too well built.
Stroking my thumb over her cool hand, I start singing the lullaby she used to sing to me every night as a kid. “Lullaby and good night, with roses bedight. With lilies o’er spread is baby’s wee bed.” Each word gets quieter and quieter as I go, drifting into silence again.
“I love you, Mom. Come back to me.” My lips press into the bluish skin on her hand.
I spend a good hour or two just sitting with her. I tell her about the job and the fun costumes and stuff. She would be excited for me but maybe a little hesitant that it’s at a nightclub.
I avoid the Alec topic at all costs, but he keeps popping his way into my mind.
I don’t speak of him once, but I definitely think of him repeatedly. And his stupid smile.
I feel a little better after leaving the hospital, having vented to my mom and getting out some of my frustrations.
Charlotte and I have to go shopping today.
Every Saturday, there’s a theme. Something fun, sometimes a little crazy. Tonight’s theme is angels—dark or light, up to us. I think Char wants to get a dark angel costume, but I’ll probably just stick to the classic white-winged angel.
But we have absolutely nothing to put toward this look—or any of the other looks for that matter. Next weekend is vampires, then it’s witches, then mermaids, then pirates, and then God knows what.
It does have a magical quality to it. Like stepping out of reality, which can be nice. Especially right now.
When I pull up to the house, Jack is outside, playing catch with Josh. Thankfully, Josh’s school is only part-time right now. So, he is always the one to pick Jack up and drop him off whenever I can’t.
Honestly, I’d be lost without him and Char. Hands down, I would not be able to do this alone.
Jack misses the catch when I draw his attention. He immediately lights up, waving to me. I can’t help the smile that stretches across my face.
Pulling into the garage, I barely get my door a foot open before Jack is trying to get in the car and onto my lap.
Laughs burst out of me. “Hi, buddy. How was your day?”
He throws his arms around my neck, pulling me into a tight hug, and my heart sinks to the floor. “I missed you, Mom.”
Sometimes, it’s too much—the love I have for this little human that I made.
I wrap my arms around his small body. “I missed you too.”
We sit in our hug for a moment before the little ball of energy needs to move again. I swear he has Red Bull pumping through his veins.
He hops off my lap and takes off for the yard again.
My brain hasn’t fully caught up with the present. It’s still in that hospital bed, stuck in that stale room.
I grab my bag and drag myself inside. I’m in no mood to go shopping. I’ll have to make something work for this costume from my own closet.
Would I be the world’s worst employee if I called in sick on the first day?
Ugh.
I glide up the stairs to my room, wishing I could’ve stayed with my mom longer—or not gone at all. I can’t get the image of her out of my head; it’s burned in place.
I kick my door open, and my jaw falls to the floor. My eyes burn. Sprawled on the bed are fluffy white angel wings; a gold halo headband; a low-cut, long-sleeved white bodysuit; and a white faux leather miniskirt.
Next to it are about ten shopping bags stuffed full of what I can tell are all the costumes I could ever need.
“You didn’t answer my text. And when you’re with her, that normally means it’s bad. So, I thought I’d do this part for you.” Charlotte comes up behind me, wrapping her arms around my shoulders.
I can’t find the words. I can’t find anything. I’m utterly frozen, completely overwhelmed.
She just squeezes me harder, kissing the side of my head. “I love you, Lu. I’m always here if you need to talk.”
Lifting my hands up, I squeeze her arms. My voice is hoarse, quieter than a pin dropping. “I love you too, Char.” My eyes fall shut as I revel in the contact given by my best friend.
After what feels like seconds or maybe hours, she pulls away, leaving me with my heavy thoughts.
I make my way to my bed, in shock with the haul. She really went all out. Grabbing the closest bag, I dump it onto my bed.
Red devil horns fall out along with a lacy bodysuit, which, holy moly, should probably never be worn in public. But I mean, I’d get hundred-dollar tips in this outfit. Although they might think it’s a different kind of club.
I move to the next bag, finding glue-on fangs, red eye contacts, and an exposing outfit to go with it.
After emptying out all the contents of the haul, I stare at it in awe. She got everything I could possibly need. And the girl knows my sizes.
I put everything away, except for the angel costume. I roll the tote out from under my bed, which stores my less-worn shoes. I know I have a gold pair of heels or something in here somewhere.
I lift up my black thigh-highs, and ta-da, I reach in, pulling out the chunky gold heels. They’re absolutely stunning. I’ve only ever worn them once, but I’m glad I held on to them because they’re perfect for this. The thick heels are all bejeweled. And they lace up my calf about three inches above the heel counter.
Oh, I’m going to feel incredible in this.
After curling every strand of my brown hair, I head downstairs and take over for Josh. After a couple more hours of trying to tire Jack out, it’s crunch time.
I walk into my bathroom with a little pep in my step. I think this job could really be something great in my life right now. It is definitely pushing me out of my comfort zone wardrobe wise.
Reaching into my makeup bag, I pull out my foundation and begin applying it with my sponge, noticing the little smile on my lips.
Once my makeup is done and I have highlighted the shit out of my face and applied a clear gloss, I change into my outfit for the night. I normally would have changed into my outfit before putting my makeup on because putting a top on after makeup, especially a white top, is fucking hard. But thankfully, I’m wearing a bodysuit tonight.
I step into my new long-sleeved bodysuit and slip my white leather skirt on. Finishing the look off with my heels.
To be honest, I could get used to these dress-up nights. I haven’t had this much confidence in years.
Grabbing my angel wings and my purse, I head downstairs to Char, who’s been waiting on me for a solid twenty minutes.
She expels the most dramatic sigh when I finally step into the living room. “About damn time.” She turns to me. Her eyes bulging. “Hot damn, Mama! Look at you!”
I give her a little twirl while laughing. “Not so bad yourself!”
Her dark angel costume is killer, almost an exact opposite look of mine. She has a long-sleeved black bodysuit on with a black leather skirt and heels, a black halo, and wings—of course.
“Hey, guys. Have a good ni—” Josh cuts off when he sees us. His lips tip into a half-smile. “Well, I think I might just be able to quit my job. Because you guys are going to make us rich tonight.”
I purse my lips, suppressing the chuckle wanting to escape. “No, sir, you definitely cannot. Not with how much Charlotte spent on these outfits. Plus, you do data entry from home. Like, shut up. It’s the easiest job ever, and you’re making bank.”
He walks up to us and gives each of us a kiss on the cheek. “You both look great. Have a good night. Be safe. Call if you need me.”
Char and I both lean in to give him a kiss on the cheek at the same time, leaving nice, sticky lip prints on his cheeks.
“Bye, Joshie.” Char wiggles her fingers at him as we head out the door.
After we get in the car and Char starts the engine, music blasts through her speakers, deafening me. I’ve never smacked a button so hard in my life.
“Oh my God, do you really have to listen to your music that loud?” I laugh and am partially in shock that she has any hearing left at all.
She gives me her famous side-eye and snickers. “Yes, actually, I do. It’s a full-body experience.”
I can’t resist my laugh at her. “Luckily, you’ll only get about another five years before you can’t listen to anything.”
“Ha-ha.” She mocks.
We drive the short distance to Fireflies with the music at a low volume—thank goodness. I try to calm my nerves as much as I can, but the closer we get, the worse it becomes, and the tighter this skirt feels.
When we finally pull into the employee parking lot, I am ready to jump out of my skin.
I’m not usually nervous for a new job, but I really don’t want to mess this up. I need this money, and I’m not going to find another job that pays this well for a college student.
I let Char lead the way through the back entrance, and an oversize bodybuilder opens the door for us.
The man leads us to the employee lounge to drop our stuff off before heading to the main room.
When he pushes the door open with an Employees Only sign, my steps falter.
An employee lounge? Ha! This feels like it should be the VIP lounge for the most pristine guests.
A giant glass chandelier hangs from the center of the raised ceiling. Lounge chairs line the wall with small round tables accompanying each one.
“Are you kidding me right now? You’re seeing this too, right?” Char walks ahead of me into the room and heads toward the door labeled Lockers.
I trail quickly behind her, still in shock.
The wall of lockers doesn’t disappoint either. Although we quickly drop the shocked act because there are two other girls in here. They are talking in a hushed tone but end their convo when we get closer.
Their costumes look great.
One of them has a cute blonde pixie cut, and she’s decked out with white glitter for the night. She’s literally shimmering under the lights. I can’t wait to see it under the flashing lights in the main room. She offers a sweet smile when she turns our way.
The brunette grins as she turns to us, and she is the first one to speak. “First day? Laura and Charlotte, right?”
I’m stunned at the fact that they already know our names and still a little shook with the decor, so my response is lagging. “Yeah, I’m Laura, and this is Charlotte.”
They each introduce themselves and offer their hands, and we shake them. The brunette’s name is Hannah, and she is a shift lead. The pixie blonde girl’s name is Callie, and she is a bartender. And also Hannah’s best friend.
They show us where to clock in and out on the computer system back here.
After we briefly talk to them, we follow them through the door of the locker room that leads to the main corridor of the building. Music is pouring out of the main room—aka the club. The DJ must be setting up.
Hannah and Callie follow the music and take us with them. It seems so much bigger with all the lights on. The DJ is set up on the stage on top of the bar. I really do work at the coolest place.
The circle bar’s entrance and exit is a small break in the bar top that you can just go through. Mila is talking to two guys when we approach. They look like bartenders based on their aprons.
The music is intense inside the bar with the DJ up above us. My listening skills will need to be on point. Good thing I’ve raised a toddler, so I am fluent in gibberish. Drunk people and babies speak the same language.
We grab Mila’s attention as we approach. She isn’t dressed up in a costume like the rest of us. She’s rocking leggings, a black bralette, and an open blazer.
“Nice to see you two. Your costumes look great. This is Mark and Eli, two of my best bartenders. They have each been here over a year. They are going to get your training started. I hope you’re quick learners. Lights off in ten.” And with that, she walks off and out of the room.
Char offers her hand to the boys, who each take it. “I’m Charlotte, and this is Laura.”
After shaking Charlotte’s hand, they shake mine, and I catch Eli’s gaze drifting a little too low. Yeah, one more time, and I’ll put him in his place.
I know my boobs are practically on show in this top right now. I expect the ogling from drunk customers. But I expect respect from my coworkers.
Mark grabs a binder from below the bar and flips it open. “Tonight, you guys will mostly be handing out drinks and running them to tables. Your mixing training isn’t till the next shift. That takes a little more time to get the hand of. But this binder is here when you need a quick reference if you can’t remember a drink. You’ll pick it up as you go from watching us to making your own.” He slides the binder back under the bar top. “We’ll get into that more next time.”
Char and I are intently watching him, trying to take in as much as we can. He shifts a couple of feet over to one of the computer screens.
“Here, I’m going to show you how to enter a tab and how to ring a customer out. You guys will help us out with that tonight while we mix the drinks; it’ll cut the time down between customers.”
We get up behind him and watch him tap through a bunch of buttons. It seems pretty simple; it basically walks you through it. The first option on the screen is single or tab. If you click single, it just pulls up the screen to enter the drink and bill the card. If you select tab, it will pull up all the already-open ones and has an option for adding one.
After we finish going through some quick computer training, he shows us how all of the tables are set up and how to figure out which drink goes where.
Near the walls of the room are round tables. Each table has a built-in mini ordering tablet—locked into the table, of course. Anyone who orders from them has to have a tab set up, so we don’t have to worry about handling any of the money. Each table is numbered with a light on the wall above it. I can’t believe I’ve never noticed them before.
Eli explains that they split the bar into a semicircle—two bartenders taking one half and two on the other.
He takes us through a mock order, and I’d like to say we are doing pretty damn good. After a couple more tips and tricks from the boys, Callie and Hannah join back up with us after doing some prep work on their half of the bar.
“How do you guys feel? You ready?” Callie asks, hopping up onto the counter.
Char answers for us, immediately going into conversation with all of them. It’s always been so easy for her like that.
I like the group though; it seems like we’ll all get along. And everyone seems nice so far, so that’s a plus. My gaze and mind shift back to the table numbers on the wall. I’m in disbelief that I didn’t notice them.
“… ass grab,” Hannah says, immediately grabbing my attention.
“Wait, what?” I ask.
“I was saying that if any guys—or girls for that matter—get a little too handsy tonight, let Claude or Axel know. They will get them out in no time. Honestly, they will probably be the one pulling them off you. They’re really good about keeping us safe.” Hannah pulls Callie off the counter as Mila approaches.
“Good to know. Thanks,” I tell her.
“No problem. We take care of each other here. If someone is making you uncomfortable, let us know. Mila doesn’t put up with that bullshit,” Callie adds in.
Mila leans back against the counter. “Damn straight. Five minutes out. Lights off in two.”
Someone near the door grabs her attention.
“Duty calls.” She pushes off the counter.
The last few prep minutes are spent laughing and joking around with the group, and before we know it, the lights go off, and the floor beneath my feet lights up.
With no one walking on it, except Axel and Claude, it reacts to the music.
Dear God, how much money does this place make?
The music above us is thumping, and if I thought that was loud, I stand corrected. Because the second those doors open, it sounds like thunder is booming through the room. I had no idea people could make such noise.
The first couple transactions are slow, but Char and I soon catch on, and after an hour in, we are killing it. It feels like I’ve been doing this forever. It is so easy to settle into.
“Laura!” Mark shouts to me over the music.
I take off for him, ready to input and process the order.
But when I approach, curly brown hair and blue eyes I recognize are looking back at me. His eyes drop quickly, taking in my body, and I feel my blush follow his stare.
Cam has a way of making me feel his gaze. But if Cam is here, that can only mean one thing—Alec is here somewhere too.
“I like the costume.” Cam winks at me. “Can I steal you for a dance later?”
Mark steps slightly in front of me, turning his face to me. “Do you know him? I can send him out if you don’t.”
I rest a reassuring hand on his shoulder and nod my head. “Yeah, I know him. He’s a friend.”
“All right.” He grabs Cam’s card and goes to input it himself.
“Protective, is he?” Cam’s lip twitches as he nods to Mark, tracking him with his eyes.
“We all are of each other. We don’t put up with the creeps.” I smirk at him.
“So, now, I’m a creep?” He stretches his hand closer to mine. “How about that dance?”
I get flashbacks of the last time we danced together. Whew, I think it just got warmer in here. The flashback shifts, and I imagine Alec behind me with his strong hands on my hips. Fuck.
There’s no way I can dance with Cam, knowing Alec’s here somewhere. I don’t want anything from Alec, but I can guarantee that I would be seeing more of him if I let Cam grind and feel me up like he did last time.
“Maybe next time. It’s my first night. I’m trying to make a good impression.” I shrug my shoulders, trying to play it off.
“Is this about Kos?” he asks me blatantly.
I immediately shake my head—maybe a little too hard. “No. What? Why would you say that?” My words lack the confidence they need.
“I see the way he looks at you, even in the few brief instances it’s been, and I know you guys have a history.”
Mark returns and slides him his card.
“I’ll catch you later, Laura.” Cam smiles and shakes his head, walking off.
History? What did Alec say about us? He looks at me? A thousand questions flood my mind, and I’d be lying if I said that butterflies weren’t flying around in my stomach right now.
Eli calls me over, and off again I go. He has a tray of drinks ready to go to a table. “Number eight. Thanks, Laura.” He turns and greets the next customer.
I load the tray in my arms and carefully make my way to table eight, making sure I am constantly aware of the dancers and tipsy people all around me.
The table is full of guys, all a bit older than me. Maybe late twenties, older thirties.
“Hello, boys,” I greet them flirtatiously. I want the tips as big as I can make them.
The one on the right leans back in his chair and slowly scans me head to toe, but a cold shiver follows his gaze.
Tips, tips, tips.
I pass out the drinks and set the last on a coaster next to an empty stool.
Making my way back to the front of the table, I fold the tray across my chest. “Can I get you boys anything else?”
A tingling sensation burns into the side of my head, and I turn to the table a few down.
My stomach drops to the floor.
Some prissy blonde is practically trying to put her boobs in Alec’s face, but when I look at him, his gaze is locked on to me. My whole body heats up, and I quickly turn back to my table.
Each of them is looking at some part of me, but none of them are meeting my eyes. I clearly have all of their attention.
The one on the right leans forward, a little too close to my face. “How about your number?” He reaches out and tries to touch my cheek.
I start to take a step back, but big arms go around my waist, and a wave of alcohol floods my nose. Looking up, I see the occupant of the empty stool. He pulls me tighter against him, and every hair on my body is standing up. I want to scream, but nothing comes out.
All of a sudden, I’m ripped out of his grasp and pulled into another set of strong arms. But these are firmer yet gentler. They hold me like I’m important, like I matter, like I’m theirs.
Hearing a grunt, I turn and see Cam punch the handsy guy straight in the nose, and a popping sound rings in my ears. But if Cam’s fighting him, then who’s—
“Are you all right, Lu?” Alec’s voice warms my ear and neck.
He spins me in his arms and looks me over for visible injuries. I can’t help the giggle that comes out of me. A big smile instantly breaks across his lips, creasing the dimple in his left cheek.
“What’s so funny?” He lightly shakes his head.
“He was feeling me up; you won’t find any cuts or bruises.” I’m still giggling and starting to think that maybe I’m not so okay after all.
His gaze shoots to the guy behind me, still being held up by Cam and the rest of the team.
If looks could kill.
When his gaze returns to me, all the harshness is gone. “Are you okay?” His fingers start slowly rubbing up and down my arms where he’s holding me.
My breathing slows, and I can feel my heart gradually calm down.
I nod my head. “Yeah, th-thank you.”
He pulls me closer to him, and I let him. His fingers continue to soothe me, keeping a consistent rhythm. And maybe it’s the adrenaline talking—definitely the adrenaline talking—but I wish he would use his fingers and that rhythm on a certain spot between my legs.
Nope. That’s wrong! Stop thinking about his hand between your legs.
Dammit.
When he rests his chin on my head, I inhale a sharp breath, and a whole different feeling washes over me. It’s like being back in time. Except now, he’s built like Hercules, and he could bench, like, two of me. Alec holding me like this makes the world around us disappear.
But I can’t find comfort in this. I just can’t.
I pull out of his arms. “I have to get back to work. Thanks again.”
Turning to see if the missing boy is still alive, I find no one there. The missing guy and his buddies are long gone, probably thanks to Axel or Claude—or both. Cam and the team are gone too.
Alec grabs my wrist, but his touch is as light as a feather. “Lu, wait.”
I turn, giving him back my attention even though my mind is telling me not to.
He rubs the back of his neck, rocking his weight back and forth, still lightly holding my wrist. “Can I see you sometime? Coffee, lunch, dinner, whatever you want.”
My chest warms at his question. But I can’t deny the fact that the only reason we aren’t together right now is because of him.
But with my mom being sick, I’ve learned one thing. Life is short, and most of the time, it fucking sucks. So, when something makes you happy or even brings you an ounce of joy, you grab on to it, and you never let go.
Fuck, I’m going to regret this.
“Yes.”
When we get home, I crawl under my covers, eager to fall asleep. But seconds of tossing and turning build to minutes and then an hour.
Why am I so restless?
My mind automatically starts replaying tonight’s events like a movie. When it gets to the part where Alec’s rough hands were on me, I start to get an idea of why I can’t sleep.
My hand drifts under the covers, finding the waistband of my panties. My eyelids flutter closed as I imagine Alec’s hands on me again, on them trailing down my arms, onto my sides, sliding between my legs—
STOP.
Fucking hell.
I switch the main character out in my mind to someone with no strings attached.
Brown curls and bright blue eyes come into view.
Cam and I are alone in my room.
I face the wall as I slip my shirt, bra, pants, and panties off.
“I’ve wanted to do this since I saw you,” Cam growls as he races toward me.
The cool wall against my face does nothing to lessen the fire burning between my legs. He wraps one of his large hands around both of mine, locking them behind my back. He slides his foot between mine, and in one motion, he widens my stance.
Cam leans into me. Pressing his nose into my hair, he inhales deeply. His voice is raspy and deep. “Laura.”
A shiver rolls down my back, causing me to push backward into him.
He moans and bites down on my earlobe. “So. Fucking. Sexy.” With each word, he sucks on my ear.
Cam releases my wrists and spins me around to face him.
I’m panting. My fingers pick up pace as my legs fall open wider.
Cam boxes me in with his arms. His gaze is carnivorous, and he is about to devour me.
He drops to his knees and looks up into my hooded eyes. “Watch me.”
My tongue wets my lips as he trails his hand from my ankle, up to the slight bend of my knee, to the highest point of my inner thigh. He repeats the motion with his other hand.
Placing a hand on either side of my entrance, he studies my sex, memorizing every crease and fold before glancing up once more and saying with pure desire, “So. Fucking. Sexy.”
He gasps and his tongue laps against me. He seals his lips over me, sucking with ferocity, and then his tongue flicks over and over.
Biting down on my lip, I circle harder, faster, feeling release nearing.
My fingers thread in Cam’s hair, pushing him against me. He slides a finger into me, pumping in and out. A second joins, and my toes curl into the floor.
So close.
I circle faster and faster, but release won’t come.
Harder and harder.
Cam stands up and drops his pants and boxers in one motion. He hooks one arm under my leg and pulls me toward him. His huge cock throbs against my thigh.
He lines himself up with my wet entrance and thrusts hard and fast inside me. I yelp in pain and pleasure. He doesn’t wait for me to adjust. He thrusts into me again, and I cry out his name.
Frustration creeps into my mind. I should’ve come already. Fuck!
Cam fucks me harder and harder, faster and faster.
My body craves more, needs more. But Cam can’t give it to me.
Fine! FINE!
A strong, callous hand wraps around my throat. My jaw unhinges with desire.
“Be a good girl for me, Lu,” Alec’s husky voice sings in my ear. “Watch me make you come.”
My eyes unevenly flutter open, and darkened hazel eyes pierce my core.
Alec pulls out until his tip starts to slip out of me. He slams back into me hard, picking up the pace with every thrust.
His grip on my throat tightens, and he lifts my leg higher, hitting deeper inside of me.
“Come on, Lu,” Alec demands. “You’re taking it so well. Good girl,” he praises.
I bite down on my lip as I fall headfirst, spiraling into bliss.
Fucking Alec. Stupid, stupid Alec.
