I woke slowly, bit by bit, rising up from the depths of my dreams only to be dragged under again, until finally I rose all the way to the surface of my consciousness and hovered there.
The first thing I became aware of were the smells. Mostly fresh linen from the soft pillow beneath my head and the thick comforter pulled up over my face. Once I lowered the blanket, there was the mouthwatering smell of bacon and coffee. It permeated the room until I threw off the covers and sat up, getting my bearings.
Enzo.
I heard him moving around in the other room and quickly got up to use the bathroom and brush my teeth. When I was finished, I splashed some water on my face and ran Enzo’s comb through my hair, wishing I had something I could use to pull it back off my face. I finally just tucked the sides behind my ears.
The bed was made when I emerged, and my suitcase was lying open on top of the comforter. The one I’d left in the trunk of my car. My shoulder bag was next to it, my cell phone lying on top.
The folded bag that contained all of the money I’d saved up was nowhere to be found.
Enzo’s voice came from the doorway, and I looked up to find him leaning against the doorframe, his hair still wet from a shower I hadn’t heard him take, wearing a pair of black, low-hanging sweatpants and nothing else, his arms crossed over his powerful chest and his expression carefully blank as he studied me. Except for his eyes. His eyes were as expressive as always. And right now, the way he was looking at me made me feel like prey.
“I had your car towed here from the club. Where is the charger for your phone?”
I had to think for a second. “Um, I might have forgotten it at Jade’s. Did you go through my stuff?” I didn’t ask how he’d gotten into my car without the keys. I could guess.
He ignored my question. “I’ll have the concierge get you another charger. Are you hungry? I had breakfast brought up from the kitchen.”
I was having trouble keeping up with my thoughts. Possibly an aftereffect from the drugs? “Yeah. Yes. I’m starving.”
“Good.” He sounded relieved, like food would solve everything. And actually, to us Italians, it kind of did.
But instead of going back out to the other room, he walked over to the bed and sat down. “Before we eat, come here, please.”
I hesitated, but only for a second, before I walked over to him. It wasn’t because I was afraid of him. It was just…I didn’t know what it was. A reaction to waking up and not quite believing I was here. Reaching for my hand, he pulled me forward until I stood between his legs. In a complete swing of emotions, I had the sudden impulse to throw myself into his arms and hug him tight, but I restrained myself. Taking a deep breath, I forced myself to hold still.
“I just want to check your skin to make sure the irritation from the bleach is calming down.”
I still didn’t feel clean, but now that my head was clearer, I could probably resist the urge to shower in bleach again.
When he stared at me meaningfully, I held out my bare arms. The skin was still a little irritated, but not nearly as red as last night. “I think it’s okay.”
But, of course, he wouldn’t be happy until he checked for himself. “Let me see.”
I held out my arms again and he took each one, turning it this way and that as he checked for any serious damage. “How is your wrist?”
I tested it. “Sore, but better.”
“Good. Where else did you wash?”
I could tell by his tone that arguing with him would be futile. Lifting my shirt, I showed him my stomach.
He looked at it, but didn’t tell me I could lower my shirt. Instead, I watched as he slowly raised his hand and skimmed his fingertips along the waistband of my yoga pants, his touch soft on my irritated skin. “Still so beautiful,” he murmured.
My heart skipped a beat, and when it resumed its pace, it started to race. I closed my eyes as I swayed toward him, my lips parting on a surprised breath that I could still feel excitement from his touch.
One of his hands covered mine where it held the bottom of my shirt, and he lifted it higher, exposing the bottoms of my breasts. Leaning in until he was barely an inch from my sensitive skin, his nostrils flared as he breathed me in before he withdrew.
I was surprised at the disappointment that struck me. But then my breath caught when I felt his touch wander over my ribcage and up, up to the full underside of my left breast.
Slowly, he lifted my shirt higher, until I was fully exposed to the cool air all the way up to my collarbone. My nipples puckered with the chill, and I saw and heard his sharp inhale. His fingertips slowly circled one, and then the other.
I felt drunk. My eyes, half closed, were on his mouth. I’d never seen such perfect lips on a man. Not too full. Not too thin. And I wished more than anything that he would lean forward again and take my nipple between his teeth. There was a heavy pull on my womb and a rush of moisture between my legs as I imagined what it would feel like. If I stepped forward just a bit, and he bent his head down, I could make it happen. But I just…I couldn’t.
“Beautiful,” he said again. He had no idea how badly I wanted him to touch me. And how completely terrified I was that he actually would.
I bit back my moan of disappointment when he carefully lowered my T-shirt. “Anywhere else?” he asked. His voice was husky with longing.
I shook my head, not trusting myself to speak.
He suddenly stood up from the bed, forcing me to take a step back. My eyes landed on his chest, all tatted skin and muscle, and I swallowed hard.
“Sera?”
My name was soft on his lips, part question and part plea, and my eyes rose to meet his. His were…hungry. It was the only way I could describe it. I held my ground for only a few seconds more and then I stepped back away from him. “Is the food still warm?”
I felt his eyes on my face, but I couldn’t look at him. “It should be,” he told me after a moment. “If not, I’ll send it back to the kitchen and get more.” Then he waited for me to precede him from the room.
I turned away from him, trying to understand what it was I was feeling. I could identify an attachment to Enzo now that hadn’t been there before that asshole from the club threw me in his trunk. Was it just because he’d rescued me? Or because he was really the only person I had right now? The only other friend I had was Jade, and she thought I was long gone. And for her own safety, I wanted to keep it that way.
“I ordered a bit of everything,” he said as I made a surprised sound when I saw how much he’d ordered. “I wasn’t sure what you liked.”
“Thank you,” I told him. A multitude of trays were lined up just inside the sitting room. They’d even brought in a small, square table and two chairs and set it over by the window. A vase sat in the middle with two red roses, identically bloomed. A coffee cup and a glass sat at each setting.
I picked up my plate to serve myself, but Enzo took it from me with a shake of his head. “Sit down. I’ll get it for you.”
Still shook up from what had just happened in the bedroom, I sat down at the table. I left him the seat where his back would be against the wall, knowing he would just move me if he needed to so he could sit where he could view the entire room. Soldiers were like that. It was ingrained in them from a young age when they were groomed to become the killers they were.
“Coffee? Or juice?”
I blinked, startled from my thoughts. “Both, please. With cream and sugar.”
“I have a doctor coming up to see you in about an hour,” he informed me as he filled my plate.
I didn’t like doctors. I’d seen too many of them in my life. My father would have the status of my virginity confirmed on a weekly basis. “Why? What kind of doctor?”
Setting the full plate of food down in front of me, he briefly met my eyes before he took my coffee cup to fill it. “I want to make sure you’re physically okay, Sera.” He brought my cup back, setting the cream and sugar on the table near me.
I felt my face heat as a wave of embarrassment swept through me and I ducked my head. If there was anything wrong with me now, I didn’t want anyone to see it. The doctor would know what happened to me. He would know how I’d been used…
“Hey.” Enzo lifted my face with a hand cupped around my jaw. “Don’t do that. You have nothing to be ashamed of. None of this was your fault.”
My eyes filled with tears, even though I knew he was right.
Seeing them, he dropped down to his haunches in front of me, pulling my chair around until I was facing him and taking my hands. “You can’t let them win, baby girl,” he told me, and although he spoke softly, there was an edge of steel in his deep voice. “Don’t let them fucking win.”
I sniffed back my tears and nodded. I always thought of myself as a strong person. I had to be, growing up with my father. But being sold into prostitution was not something I’d ever imagined myself dealing with.
“We’ll have the doctor check you out, make sure there was no damage, especially since you were drugged and may not have been aware, or remember what was going on.” He paused, his dark eyes consuming me as they searched my face. “Is there any chance you’re pregnant?”
Even though I’d thought the same thing, the fact that he was asking caught me off guard. “I don’t think so. I think I had my period right before you showed up. That’s why he washed me.” The only other explanation for the dried blood on my thighs was something I didn’t want to think about.
Though he didn’t move from where he was or tighten the hold on my hands, I sensed the way his entire body became rigid. “Who washed you?”
“The guy who ran the house. The one I told you about. He just”—I thought back to that last day, trying to see through the fog of my memories—“hosed me down outside.”
Enzo looked at me like he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “He fucking hosed you down? Like a goddamn dog?”
I remembered the ice-cold water hitting my naked skin like a thousand needles. But still, “It was good to feel clean,” I told him.
He clenched his jaw, clearly not liking what that implied. I glanced at him. He was angry. Because he cared for me? Or because he considered me his property and someone else had touched something he owned without his permission?
After a long moment, he brushed back my hair with his fingers and stood, the movement smooth and graceful. “We should eat before breakfast gets cold.” Turning my chair back around, he pressed a kiss to my temple and went to get his own food. As he spooned eggs on his plate, he said casually, “If you need to talk to someone about what happened to you, Veda has a really good therapist that she likes. I’m sure she would make time for you.”
I picked up my fork as he sat down across from me. My stomach growled as I looked down at the pile of food he’d given me. “Who is Veda?”
“My boss’s woman. Luca.”
Luca, the underboss. “Oh.”
“Do you want me to make an appointment? You don’t have to worry about the cost.”
“No,” I immediately told him. “Thank you, though,” I added when I realized how short I sounded. I’d had enough of therapists to last me three lifetimes. And after the last one accused me of stealing things because I wanted my father’s attention, I’d be perfectly happy never to see one again.
“Sera, it might help,” he said.
I set my fork down. “How am I supposed to talk about something I don’t even remember?” That wasn’t true. Not completely. I did remember some of it. Times when I wasn’t given my next dosage on time and the stupor began to wear off. Or when the pain forced its way through. But even so, what was there to say? It happened. And now it was over, thanks to the man sitting across the table from me. I just wanted to forget all of it and go on with my life.
“Maybe you can talk to me,” he said. “If you want to.”
I stared at him across the table. This hard man who was trying so hard to be patient with me. I could see the way he practically vibrated with the effort it took him.
“I want to know everything about you, Sera. The good and the bad.”
His words jostled something inside of me. I looked down at my plate and cut off a bite of pancake with my fork, sticking it into my mouth.
“What?” he asked. “What’s with the face?”
The syrup was sticky sweet on my tongue, but it was hard to enjoy it with him sitting there staring holes in me.
“Sera. Goddammit. Talk to me.”
So much for that patience. I sighed and put down my fork. “I can’t. I don’t want to. I just want to forget it ever happened.”
“It’s not that easy, Sera.”
“Why not? I just want everything to go back to normal. Why can’t you just let it go?” My eyes burned with tears. I didn’t want to think about what happened to me. I didn’t want to talk about it. I just wanted to eat this food that tasted so fucking good to me and then I wanted to take another shower and maybe zone out on a stupid show on Netflix.
He sat back in his chair. “Because I should’ve stopped you from leaving. I should’ve found you sooner. I should’ve protected you, Sera. And I didn’t.”
“I’m a grown woman, Enzo. One who makes really bad decisions sometimes. And you won’t always be there to protect me.” We sat staring at each other across the table. He didn’t like that answer. But it was true. “Besides—”
“Don’t even fucking give me the ‘we barely know each other’ bullshit,” he bit out.
“But it’s true,” I told him softly.
He shook his head, but he didn’t say anything else. Lifting his chin toward my plate, he said, “Stop fighting with me and eat your breakfast. The doctor will be here soon.”
Grateful to stop talking, I dug back into my pancakes. I felt like I hadn’t eaten in…well…a week.
We’d just finished when there was a knock on the door.
“I’ll get it.” Enzo ran into the bedroom first, pulling on a black T-shirt as he walked over to the door.
The doctor Enzo had called was a short, portly woman who looked to be in her fifties with kind eyes and a business-like manner. She took me back into the bedroom and chased Enzo out when he tried to follow us, then closed the door in his face after telling him we’d be out shortly.
I almost smiled at the shocked look on Enzo’s face right before he was shut out.
“Okay, let’s take a look at you,” the doctor said after I’d gone into the bathroom and changed into a gown. I’d gotten to thinking while we were waiting for him that it wouldn’t be a bad thing to get an exam. Although I felt okay, Enzo was right. I could have some kind of internal damage. Or worse, I could be pregnant. The doctor indicated for me to lie on the edge of the bed where she’d covered the mattress with a sterile sheet. “I apologize for the lack of a professional setup. Just lie here like you normally would on an exam table and scoot down to the edge, leaving your heels on the bed. Enzo told me you’ve had a rough time this past week.”
I handed her the clear plastic cup I’d just peed in. “You could say that,” I told her as I got into position.
“I’ll try to make this as quick as possible,” she told me.
Sitting down on the chair she’d pulled up to the bed, she told me to relax my legs, and I did, letting my knees fall open. She had a bright light standing next to the bed. I wondered where it came from. “How often do you make house calls like this?” I asked her to take my mind off what she was doing.
“Oh, you’d be surprised,” she said. “I’ve been working for the family for quite a few years now. I have an office, but I rarely use it. I don’t mind, though. It gets me outside.”
I stared at the ceiling and tried to relax.
“Do you remember having any pain, Sera?”
“Some cramping. I thought it was my period.”
“And when did that start?”
“I don’t remember exactly. It usually only lasts three days. Sometimes four. I’m on the pill, but I wasn’t taking them this past week.”
She made a knowing sound. “Were you due to get your menstrual cycle?”
I tried to think back. “Honestly, I don’t remember. But they’re in my bag. I could check.”
“Okay. That’s fine.” She pulled her instrument out of me and pulled the gown back down over my knees.
I lowered my legs and sat up.
“I didn’t see anything that won’t heal up pretty quick,” she told me in a sympathetic voice. “But if you have any pain or any other concerns, call me right away.”
“Okay.”
“I don’t know everything that happened to you, but if you feel up to it, it’s perfectly okay to have sex again. Or to wait. It’s up to you and what you’re comfortable with, Sera. But physically, you should be fine. And you can go ahead and start taking your pills again.”
I nodded to let her know I understood. “Can I go get changed?”
She smiled. “Yes. I’m finished.”
“Thank you,” I told her. “For coming here and doing all of this.”
“No need to thank me,” she said. “Mr. Delligatti paid me very well to make a house call.”
After I was dressed again, I joined her and Enzo out in the other room. The doctor was giving Enzo a full report, and she smiled again when she saw me. “The preliminary pregnancy and STD tests came up negative, but I’ll send them to the lab just to be safe, so still take precautions until you hear from me.”
I nodded, as a feeling of relief nearly overwhelmed me. “Thank you.”
She handed me a card. “Call me anytime if you need anything.”
Taking it from her, I thanked her again.
“Thank you, doctor,” Enzo told her as they shook hands.
I watched Enzo as he walked the doctor out to the hall with mixed feelings. Now there was nothing to keep him from insisting I live up to my end of our deal.
Only thing was, while I was lying in there, I decided I wanted out.
