We’re sitting on my couch in the living room.
Danny, Kane, Rooker, Lopez, and Zeke stand outside on my front porch. Danny and Rooker are smoking cigarettes, as they’re all deep into a conversation. I’m watching them through the large window that allows me to see my front yard. It’s my favorite place in the house to relax and read books when I have a view like that.
“Violet, I still can’t believe you’re here. How the hell are you?” I ask her. Violet has healed, at least physically. I’m not sure about the battles she has to endure mentally.
“I’m doing better.” She sighs, drinking a sip of her beer.
“And you’re here with Zeke?”
I see the way they look at each other. There is definitely something going on.
She nods.
“He has helped me in a lot of ways. We’re friends,” she murmurs while taking another swig of her beer, and I know there’s something more than she’s letting on. As she drinks more, she looks through the living room window. The blinds are pushed up entirely, and my dark green curtains are pushed on either side.
Nobody looks at someone like that if there isn’t intimacy being shared.
I want to bring up Damon, but how? I want to share my condolences. Her story broke my heart, and I prayed for his return every night. Knowing the outcome kills me.
I don’t want to imagine what it’s doing to her.
“I’m sorry about your baby.” Violet turns to me with a glimpse of sadness in her eyes.
I stiffen when she mentions my son.
The thought of looking down at my c-section scar makes me cringe. I don’t want to talk about it. I’m instantly angry, curling my fingers on my scrub top, but I know it isn’t fair. She didn’t do anything.
I can’t think of the child I lost because a part of me blames myself.
Maybe I should have put Shane in jail way sooner and not let our history or his upbringing affect my judgment. I was stupid. So fucking stupid to think he was not capable of murdering me.
Then another part of me…
Blames Danny.
As I turn away from Violet, I drink some of the sangria he made me. I give her a quick nod in acknowledgment.
I look out the window and find Kane’s attention on me. The organ inside my chest skips a beat as a wave of guilt washes over my mind.
He flares his nostrils, biting down. I can see that his jaw flexes when he watches me, but it’s short-lived. Then he looks back to Lopez.
I break away from him so quickly before anyone can notice the glance we shared. I look around to see if anyone caught that and realize I’m in the clear. Rooker pats Danny on the back like he’s proud of him, and I wonder what they’re talking about.
I need to tell Danny about Kane’s confession, and I will tonight.
It isn’t right. I know it isn’t right. A small part of me thinks about Kane, but I’m too overwhelmed with grief to give it any more thought. He will always have a special place in my heart, but he’s starting to blur those lines. I’m barely holding on. All I know is that I care about him. How couldn’t I?
He’s always been sunshine.
“All right, girls… I’m going to shoot my shot with Mr. Slaughter over there. Wish me luck.” Meredith gets off my couch and starts going out the front door. Something small slithers through my emotions when she begins her conquest to Kane…and I wouldn’t say I like it.
I shrug it off.
“You don’t need it. Go, get him, girl,” Emilia eggs her on playfully.
I fake a smile as I turn back to Violet. “You’re out of the military now?”
“Technically, yes, but I just couldn’t do it anymore. I feel like I don’t have a place there anymore. It feels meaningless now that Damon is gone,” Violet whispers and chokes up when his name leaves her shaky lips. She looks away from me and stares at the floor.
“I might join again when I feel like I’m ready.”
There are no words. I have no words to give because there aren’t any.
She twirls her beer in her hand as I embrace her. I place my hand on her shoulder comfortingly before I let her go.
“So I’m going to ask you again.”
My eyebrows raise.
“Have you ever experienced love at first sight?”
She asked me this when we first met in Iraq.
She gives me a playful smile, like she already knows the answer to her own question. She looks at Danny through the window and then back to me, giddy.
I turn my gaze to Danny. His dark blond hair is styled and combed the way I love it. Zeke and Rooker also roar with laughter, drinking more of their beers down. He’s smiling, laughing, and looks more at peace than I’ve ever seen him. Before he revealed the gruesome details about my brother’s death, he was killing himself slowly with alcohol. His confession about feeling responsible for his death haunted him. And now?
He’s happier.
Shitty things keep getting thrown into our lives, but Danny has been making sure that I’m always okay since the attack. He’s been taking care of me, putting me first. He even took a leave of absence and used up all his free days.
We’re healing each other.
Small white flurries of fog escape from their mouths as they laugh. I feel relief that Danny has been able to stay strong for the both of us. He hasn’t spent time with his team since the attack like this.
Heat swarms my cheeks and chest.
“Love at first sight with Grim Reaper…the deadliest special operator in the entire military? I’m impressed. I was always told he had a heart of ice and skills of a cold-blooded killer, incapable of committing to anything more than his career.” She tries again.
“Yes…yes, it was love at first sight. At least for me, it was.” I smile, biting my lip as I remember when he told me he didn’t dance at El Devine. We haven’t said those three words to each other, but he doesn’t have to. He shows it enough. He isn’t a man of words like he told me once before. He’s a man of action. A clip of nostalgia plays in my head when I remember wearing my cowboy boots, ordering a daiquiri while a mysterious tattooed man wearing a black hat watched me.
“That night at El Devine changed my life forever. I knew I loved him then and I know I love him now.”
