I wasn’t just losing control of Bound. I was losing it altogether. With Braxton around, I didn’t know which way was up.
This wasn’t going to work.
She was Bound now, and that wasn’t changing until the tour ended, but that didn’t mean we had to torture ourselves in the meantime. The moment we reached Arizona, I was having her ass sent to another bus. All the easy access made it impossible to think of anything else. Braxton would be safer sticking her head in a lion’s mouth.
My chest was still damp from my shower when I yanked my T-shirt over my head, but I didn’t care.
I was on a mission.
Leaving the bedroom, I followed Braxton and Rich’s voices to the front of our bus. Loren was still sleeping off another binge in his bunk. I wanted to be pissed at him for breaking our pact, but I understood him for the first time in years.
Braxton had that effect.
“The collection is huge,” I heard Rich recite. “They have over fifteen thousand from all these different places.”
“Sounds amazing,” Braxton gushed. “I can’t believe I’ve never heard of it.”
“I think you’d like it.”
Neither of them said anything more, and it wasn’t because they noticed me standing there. I couldn’t see Braxton’s face, but Rich practically had hearts in his eyes.
I couldn’t catch a goddamn break.
First Loren, and now it looked like Rich would be a problem too. I shouldn’t have been surprised.
History was simply repeating itself.
Clearing her throat, Braxton broke the silence before I could trample on their little moment. “Do you think we’d have time to see it? If you don’t already have plans, I mean.”
“No, I don’t have plans,” Rich rushed to say.
Instantly, I wracked my brain for some shit to keep him busy until the show. I had a goddamn mutiny on my hands, and Braxton was the cause. She had me wanting to go against myself most days, and she wasn’t even my type. I liked something I could bend.
Seeing enough, I made my presence known. Rich had the good sense to look guilty. Braxton watched me with those big round eyes like she saw into my soul and couldn’t look away.
“Good morning, Houston.” Sensing my mood, her tone was wary. Maybe she’d survive us after all.
Ignoring her good-natured greeting, I got down to business. “The show takes priority over whatever you two have planned today. We’re on stage at nine and not a minute later.”
“Of course.”
I laughed to myself, knowing that I’d pissed her off, but she didn’t want me to know.
“You could join us,” Rich invited. I was surprised he’d want me tagging along while he followed Brax around like a love-sick poodle. “We’re hitting up the museum.”
I knew without him elaborating which museum he referred to. The Musical Instrument Museum was by far the most interesting sight Phoenix had to offer, and it was still a snooze fest. They had a zoo and hiking trails with amazing views, but I doubt Braxton would be interested.
“I just hope you’re a better tour guide than Loren,” Braxton teased Rich. There was still tension between her and Loren. After witnessing that little scene they made in the bathroom three days ago, I expected no less. “He offered to show me Vegas and then took me to some reincarnated version of Molly’s Game.”
Rich and I made eye contact when she described The Palace. Loren was an idiot. I wondered how much money he’d thrown away this time. It’s been six years since his father disowned him, and Loren was still flipping him off any chance he could.
“Loren only understands what serves him.” Leaning against the small kitchen counter, I crossed my arms as I looked her over. She still wore the clothes she’d worn to bed. Thankfully, I hadn’t caught her walking around in her fucking underwear again. “If you’re smart, he won’t have to show you twice.”
Of course, she was quick to catch on.
“What do you mean if I’m smart?”
“It remains to be seen.”
“Only if you think I give a shit what you think of me.”
“You’re not special, Bambi. It’s understood that you do. Everyone does.”
She let out a laugh that was entirely humorless. “It must be exhausting to be so in love with yourself.”
“Why am I not surprised that you wouldn’t know, little girl? Let me guess…you respond to every little slight so everyone will assume you’re strong, and no one will know how insecure you really are.”
She regarded me with no emotion, nothing to give her away. “Little girl?” she repeated pointedly.
“Are you even old enough to drink?” I knew she was, but I wasn’t missing the opportunity to ignite her fire.
“I’m twenty-two, asshole.”
She called me that so much it was starting to sound like an endearment to my ears.
“Wow,” I returned, feigning awe. “Old enough to drink for one entire year. Clearly, I had you all wrong.”
“I’m only interested in your respect. You can keep your understanding.”
“Stop throwing yourself at my bassist, and maybe you’ll earn it.”
Braxton shot out of her seat, and I thought she’d take a swing at me. She had the intent in her eyes but no real conviction. It would have solved all my problems. I could choke the life from her, claim self-defense, and find a new guitarist—definitely someone who didn’t tempt me at every turn.
Rich, who’d been silent, seemed to read my mind. Standing to shield Braxton from me if he had to, he begged me with his eyes.
“I was not throwing myself at him.”
“Uh-huh.”
I didn’t want to talk about the two of them anymore. I didn’t even want to think of them fucking as a possibility. If one of us claimed her, she’d be off-limits forever. Knowing this made me want to put my fist through a wall. Braxton spoke before I could.
“Why are you so threatened by me?”
“Come again?”
“You behave like a boy who’s just been told he has to play nice with girls. You trample, growl, and puff out your chest just to show me who’s in charge. It’s been three months, Houston. I’m still not convinced, but I finally know the reason why. I’ve been asking for your respect when I should have told you that you haven’t even begun to earn mine. I’ll make it super clear and easy for you, caveman. Start with this pretense that you hate me and drop it.”
“I see.” Stepping toward her, I tossed Rich a warning look when it looked like he’d try to stop me. “And what if I’m not pretending?”
“I haven’t done anything to you.”
I held her stare for a moment just to gauge if she was serious and snorted. “I’m not buying this babe-in-the-woods bullshit, Bambi.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do,” I returned with finality. I knew it because every time we got too close, her demons called out to mine.
By now, Rich had both hands gripping his black hair, his silver and gold-flecked gaze wild with indecision. He wanted to come to Braxton’s rescue but wasn’t sure if she was worth the risk. Our friendship was rocky enough without this extra catalyst, which was why she had to go. If I were in his shoes, there’s no question what I would do.
I would have never let her attention be stolen in the first place.
“Leave.”
Rich had his rare moments of defiance—like now when his gaze shifted to Braxton, silently asking if she wanted him to stay. He wasn’t a pussy by any stretch. He just didn’t like making waves.
I was always wound tight, Loren forever the rowdy one, which left Rich to be the calm before and after the storm. We balanced each other until Braxton came and tipped the scales.
“It’s okay, Rich.”
Even after giving him the okay to leave her alone with me, he stood there a moment longer.
“I’ll be in the shower if you need me,” he finally told her before disappearing behind the door I’d just come through. The moment the sound of his footsteps faded, and the bedroom door closed, I was on Braxton.
“You shouldn’t have done that.” The ponytail she’d pulled her hair into this morning was now in my grip. It’s what I’d been longing to do since the day she wandered into Savant’s conference room and turned my world on its head. When her neck was arched, leaving her throat exposed, it was all I could do not to sink my teeth in. “And you shouldn’t keep pretending you’re not aware of what will happen if you keep giving me lip.”
“You’ll kill me?” she tossed back, reminding me of my bullshit threat a month ago. I wanted to fuck with her head, and though I succeeded in convincing her, I failed to make her give a shit. I shook my head as a smile crept up on me.
The longer I knew Braxton, the less I understood her.
“Let me go, Houston.”
“Convince me that we understand each other.”
“I told you what it would take,” she returned.
“I don’t respect you, Braxton. I never will. You’re useful, but that doesn’t make you our equal.”
For a moment, the little hope she held vanished from her big, round eyes. She looked lost and frustrated until that defiant gleam I hated so much returned tenfold. “Then what are we even talking about?”
“We’re discussing the inevitability of you doing as you’re told. I’ll make sure of that.”
“Will you? Good luck with that. The only time I bend is when I’m getting fucked, but we’ve already established that it’s not happening between us.”
Unprepared for her response, my hold loosened, so I let my hand fall. I didn’t back away from the temptation of her body this close to mine, though. “Last chance, Bambi. Look down or bow down. Just show me who’s in charge.”
She smiled at me.
What I felt from that simple gesture, that unspoken challenge…I wasn’t this excited when Bound scored a record deal or received its first platinum. Braxton made life more than just interesting.
She made it worth living.
Loren and Jericho challenged me, but neither of them ever made my dick hard while doing it.
When I took hold of her again, it was her hips I caught before I yanked her into me. There was no space left between us now. No guarantee I’d let her go this time.
“That’s your problem,” I whispered to her when she refused to break our stare and submit. “You’re always bringing a knife to a gunfight, Fawn. You should have gone for my balls.”
One day, I’d figure out how she managed to appear both innocent and insolent at the same time. This was the paradox of Braxton Fawn—to look like heaven on earth while wreaking havoc on my peace of mind.
Fear and acceptance of what was about to happen crashed together like a wave returning to the sea. It was the moment I crossed the line I’d drawn with no remorse.
There was only the undeniable truth that I was fucked.
