What the fuck were we doing?
I glanced at the back of Matt’s blond head. He’d passed out about an hour ago and was sleeping soundly. I, on the other hand, was wide awake, my mind spinning.
So much for not fucking around with my best friend. I smiled derisively into the darkness and rolled onto my side. Matt scooted closer and pressed his back against mine. I might be a bed hog, but he was like a heat-seeking missile, especially lately.
I’d sucked my best friend’s dick. Again. And fingered him. He’d asked to blow me, and he’d enjoyed it. A part of me was still in shock that any of this was happening, but a bigger part was worried it would eventually ruin our friendship.
Matt was like me in the sense that baseball was his main priority. Playing ball was our dream, and we’d never do anything to jeopardize our chances of being scouted.
That was the main reason neither of us dated. I had the added hurdle of having to walk a very thin line of discretion because of my sexuality, but Matt was on the same page as me. Romance and dating were complications we didn’t need.
I was no stranger to fuck buddies, but the buddy part for me was usually a stretch. I’d had semi-regular hookups in the past, and I’d messed around with a few casual friends over the years, but the fact that Matt and I were so close added a layer of intimacy and comfort to the sex I wasn’t used to.
Keeping emotionally detached from the people I fucked was easy when I didn’t care about them beyond both of us getting off. Things with Matt were so much deeper. Knowing I was the first guy he’d ever messed around with set off some primal instincts I hadn’t known I had. Making him feel good, seeing him enjoying what I was doing to him, was almost as hot as the act itself.
I closed my eyes and tried to clear my mind. I needed to stop obsessing over this and just go with it. We were both adults, we obviously had some wicked sexual chemistry, and we knew what this was and wasn’t. We’d set ground rules, and we’d never had trouble communicating in the past.
We could do this. I just needed to turn off the part of my brain that loved to catastrophize and focus on all the worst-case scenarios.
I was a chill guy, but years of moving around and always having to be the new kid had affected me more than I wanted to admit. I didn’t form attachments the way others did. Every time we moved to a new town, a new province, I’d gone to school with the same mentality. That it was just temporary. That we’d only be there a few years. Then we’d pack up, and the cycle would start all over again.
When I was young, it hadn’t been a big deal. Making friends was easy when you could instantly bond with someone at recess because you both liked dinosaurs or watched the same cartoons.
Middle school was when things started to change. I’d learned to be the outgoing and carefree guy who could waltz into a school and make friends with everyone from the band kids to the mathletes. Confidence and a smile went a long way when every connection you had was superficial.
Damon was the first real friend I’d ever made. The only one who’d not only put an effort into staying my friend when we weren’t in the same city or didn’t see each other every day but who’d also managed to break down my walls and get me to share the more personal parts of myself with him. I’d felt an instant connection to him and was closer to him than I was to my brothers.
What I felt for Matt went beyond that. From our first meeting, I’d known we were going to be the best of friends. We’d been introduced during our first team meeting at Rutherford. Him as the junior pitcher, and me as the junior catcher. Coach had told us he planned for us to take over the starting spots when the current crop had graduated, and advised us to get into a groove.
Matt had given me one of his million-watt smiles and started babbling about obscure ball trivia. When the meeting was over, he’d asked if I wanted to go grab lunch together. We’d sat in a small café near campus for nearly three hours, chatting about everything and nothing.
Within a week, we were texting day and night and hanging out whenever we didn’t have practice. We’d also been each other’s anchor during hell week. The seniors that year had been a bit insane and sneaky as fuck, so Coach hadn’t been aware of just how bad things had been. We’d helped each other through it, and it had bonded us in a way that had cemented our relationship both on and off the field.
The bed shifted as Matt rolled over. A heavy arm circled my waist, and a leg pressed against the back of mine. He let out a soft, contented sigh, his hot breath ghosting over my neck.
Matt was a tactile person, and we were no stranger to casual intimacy. But cuddling while we slept was a new development.
He tightened his arm around me, pulling me so I was flush against his body, and brushed his nose over the back of my neck. His dick, hard and hot, pressed against my ass.
Fuck. He felt good behind me. I’d always preferred guys who were as big and strong as me, and Matt’s body was a work of art. Feeling all of him like this was as comforting as it was confusing.
Fuck buddies didn’t cuddle all night, and nothing about what Matt and I were doing was casual. Yes, it had an end date, but nothing between us could ever be completely casual.
Blowing out a breath, I relaxed into his embrace. We had our team workout in the morning. I needed to get some sleep.
“Wake up.”
I snuggled into my pillow and ignored the voice behind me.
“Come on, sleepyhead.” Matt chuckled and slapped my ass under the covers.
“Go away.” I pulled the pillow over my head.
The covers disappeared, and cold air prickled my skin. I shivered and curled up in a ball.
“Such a grump.” Matt’s hand ghosted over my hip, then trailed down my other thigh. “I know one way to wake you up.” He slid his hand to my cock and gripped my morning wood through my sleep pants.
“Fuck,” I muttered into the sheets, the pillow still over my head as nerves deep in my body zinged and woke up.
“Come on. Show me those pretty eyes, and maybe I’ll do something with my hand.”
“No fair.” I shoved the pillow off the bed and looked over my shoulder at him.
He lay behind me, propped up on his elbow. His eyes gleamed with lust, and a little smile tilted his lips.
He dropped a quick kiss on my cheek, then settled behind me, spooning me tight like he had last night. With a low groan, he slipped his hand under the waistband of my pants and fisted my hard shaft.
“Fuck.” I reached back and grabbed a handful of his ass. I loved how it felt in my hand, so tight and firm.
Matt stroked me, his grip strong. His erection bumped against my ass. I rolled my hips, fucking into his hand and rubbing against him.
“Fuck,” he muttered and pressed closer. “That feels good.”
“How much time do we have?” I rasped, my voice still hoarse from sleep.
“About thirty till we have to leave.”
“Want to try something a bit different?”
He paused his strokes. “Yeah. Sure.”
“Get on your side, and we can do a sixty-nine.”
He groaned and let go of my cock.
We sat up and shoved our sleep pants down around our asses. Matt stretched out on his side, his abs rippling and his cock jutting out, hard and inviting.
I flipped over. Big hands grabbed my ass and hauled me into position. Wet heat wrapped around my cockhead, and a tongue dipped into my slit.
“Holy fuck.” I gripped his base and swallowed him down. His taste exploded on my tongue—sweet and salty and so perfectly him.
He bucked his hips and moaned around my length. The vibrations sent a flurry of pleasure racing through my body. Fuck. I wasn’t going to last if he kept that up.
We sucked each other, our paces frenzied and our hips thrusting. I was mindful not to push too deep, but Matt didn’t hold back. He fucked my throat like a man possessed, grunting and groaning around me as he used my face. I fucking loved it.
Matt came hard and shoved his dick deep down my throat. The combined sensation of him coming and the vibrations on my cock were too much, and I came in an explosion, shuddering and shaking as he swallowed me down.
“Awake now?” he teased.
“You could say that.” I chuckled and sat up.
He did the same, smiling happily. “I’ll skip my shower. We don’t have time for both of us to take one.”
“Take one with me.”
“Yeah?” He perked up.
“Yeah.” I pointed to my bathroom. “It’s not like we have to worry about getting caught.”
He shuffled closer and pressed a soft kiss against my lips. I kissed him back, not letting myself get too deep into it, since we had to get to our workout. He pulled away a moment later, grinning goofily at me.
My chest clenched. I liked knowing he was smiling like that because of me.
We climbed out of bed and peeled off our clothes. Matt followed me into the bathroom and leaned against the counter as I started the water.
“Your ass is ridonculous.”
“Ridonculous?” I arched a brow at him and wiggled playfully. “You mean it’s so magnificent you need to make up a word to describe its awesomeness?”
He slapped my ass cheek hard enough that I yelped and jumped away.
“Ow.” He shook out his hand. “That thing should come with a warning label.”
“Watch the pitching hand.” I rubbed the stinging spot. “Imagine trying to explain that to Coach Nix.”
He snickered. “Sorry, Coach. Gotta rest the old mitt ’cause Crawford’s ass hurt it while I was smacking it.”
“Love how you twisted it so it’s my fault you hurt yourself slapping me.”
“Wouldn’t have slapped it if it wasn’t such a huge target. Totally your fault.”
“You’re just jealous.” I shoved the shower curtain back and stepped under the spray. “Get that skinny butt in here.”
“Jealous of what?” He got in behind me and gripped my hips. “Not being able to find pants that fit? Having every pair of jeans turn into skinny jeans?”
I bumped my ass back against his crotch. “Admit it. You’re totally jelly.”
He ground his half-hard cock against me. “Keep that up, and we’re going to be late again.”
“Ugh.” I reluctantly pulled away. “Damn Cooper and his cockblocking.”
Matt’s laughter was drowned out as I stuck my head under the water to wet my hair.
“We’d have more time if you didn’t pull your Sleeping Beauty routine every damn morning.” He pinched my ass. “Switch places with me. It’s fucking cold with you hogging all the hot water.”
The shower stalls in the jock dorms were generous with deep tubs that were perfect for soaking sore muscles in, but it was a tight squeeze with the two of us constantly trading places to share the water.
“I’m not sure that was any quicker than doing two separate ones.” Matt smirked and rubbed one of my towels over his wet skin.
“Probably not. But I’ll take any excuse to see you naked a bit longer.”
His eyes softened, his expression going shy. “Yeah?”
“You’re fucking hot.” I tossed my towel onto the counter and cupped his face in my hands. “And I don’t just mean your looks.”
His cheeks flushed, and his blue eyes were bright and hopeful.
“All of you is beautiful, babe.” I pressed a soft kiss against his lips. He sighed, and when I pulled back, he was smiling.
I dropped my hands and slipped back into bestie mode. “We’d better hurry.”
He nodded grimly and opened the bathroom door. “Last thing we need is to get in shit for being late again.”
