“be my friend, hold me”—Breathe Me by Sia
Colin
“Colin!”
I guess I’m awake now.
“What the hell, Aaron.” Aaron is standing by my bedroom door, leaning against the doorframe. I struggle to look at him as my eyes still have to get used to the light.
“It’s eight in the goddamn morning!” he yells, stepping into my room. “You’ve missed morning practice!”
Oh shit. Not again.
“You could have woken me up, you know.”
“No.” He fake-gags. “I preferred not walking in on you and my sister.”
“Walk in on me and Lily?” Right. She stayed the night. Took a lot of convincing to do, but she stayed.
It was already 11 p.m. when she wanted to leave because she was tired. But we were in the middle of a movie marathon. With that I mean she made me watch Twilight. Apparently, it’s very educational.
It’s not.
All I learned is that a way too old Vampire guy falls in love with some way younger human girl. It’s not exactly what I would consider interesting, but Lily could ask me to watch Titanic five times in a row and I would do it.
“Dude, you know Lily and I aren’t actually dating, right?”
“You’re not?” Aaron takes a seat by my desk. He stares at me dumbstruck, waiting for what? confirmation?
“We’re not. We’re just hanging out, as friends.”
“Friends my ass.” He lets out one loud laugh, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “When I came back home last night and wanted to ask you something, you were all cuddled up together. That’s not exactly screaming ‘friends.’”
“Cuddled up together?” I repeat. I don’t recall being cuddled up to Lily.
Aaron shrugs, leaving me sort of clueless. “She’s downstairs, by the way, making breakfast for all of us.”
I sit up, narrowing my eyes at Aaron.
“Chill, Lily loves to cook. Neither of us asked her to.” Once again, he chuckles. He turns in my chair, facing my gaming setup. I don’t usually play games, I don’t have much time for it, but I never got rid of it either. “Miles is totally digging her. It’s so annoying.”
Now that gets more of my attention than anything Aaron said before.
In less than a heartbeat, I’m standing on my feet, finding myself sprinting downstairs. No way in hell will I let Miles King get close to my girl.
She’s not even my girl. But to hell with it anyway. Lily doesn’t need Miles clinging to her ass.
“MILES!” Even I’m surprised by my tone. I never scream at my friends, ever. Except on the ice, but that’s a different kind of screaming. It’s not filled with anger…mostly, anyway.
Lily is standing in front of the stove, wearing nothing but a t-shirt that is only roughly hanging over her ass. She is swaying her hips to some music. And, of course, Miles is enjoying the show.
I love that guy, but if he dares touching what’s mine, I will have to cut off some hands.
She’s not yours, I have to remind myself. I ignore my own reminder though. She is mine, for a long as she is alive.
“Good morning, captain never-showing-up,” Miles greets me. “That’s going to be another day of the fairy costume.”
“Like I care,” I snap.
“Someone’s a bit grumpy.”
“Fuck off.” I make my way over to Lily. She is making pancakes. It smells delicious. But to hell with food right now.
“Be so kind and take care of these for a moment,” I tell Grey as I scoop Lily up from the floor, throwing her over my shoulder.
She yelps, hitting her hands against my lower back, telling me to set her back down. But I don’t. Instead, I carry her back upstairs into my bedroom.
At least I don’t have to deal with Aaron right now. He was smart enough to leave my bedroom.
I set Lily down on the floor once I closed the door behind us. “Stay right there,” I say in a strict tone, walking toward my closet.
“You’re not my father, you know.”
“Aware of that.” I look though my clothes, trying to find anything she could wear. “There is still no need for you to shake your ass in front of Miles. Not like that.”
I take out one of my hockey jerseys, knowing they will be way bigger on Lily than the t-shirt she is wearing.
“Jealous?”
“Furious.” I put her arms up once I’m standing back in front of her, pulling the jersey over her body.
“You can’t be mad at Miles for being there.”
“I’m not,” I tell her, still feeling my blood boil. “Miles is like a brother to me. I would share anything with him. Anything but you.”
“You don’t own me.”
“I don’t,” I agree. “Doesn’t mean I appreciate him gawking at you.”
“He wasn’t gawking,” she protests. “Miles is actually fun to hang up with, you know.”
“Jesus, Lily!” I brush my hands through my hair in frustration. “If you want to fuck him, just ask him. Trust me, he will be in your pants in a heartbeat.”
I expect Lily to freak out on me. But she isn’t. I know I went too far with saying what I had, yet she doesn’t seem mad.
“Can you take me home?” Lily sounds…upset. Her voice trembling, and when I look at her, she’s quivering.
Is she afraid of me now? What have I done?
Panic streams through my system. I don’t want Lily to be afraid of me. “Lily,” I say quietly, sighing. She looks at me with fear in her eyes. It breaks my fucking heart.
“Colin, please. I want to go home.”
-♡–
I follow Lily to the dorm rooms, walking her inside. I don’t want to leave her just yet. We haven’t exchanged a single word after she told me she wanted to go home.
The tension between us has never been this thick. It’s almost painful.
At least she doesn’t complain when I walk her inside.
“I’ll see you in class then, huh?” I offer her an awkward smile, she returns none.
“Yup.” Unlocking the room door, she steps inside but she doesn’t close it yet. “Are you not coming in?”
“Do you want me to?”
“I don’t know,” she admits, awkwardly. It hasn’t even been this awkward after our involuntary kiss.
“I should go then,” I say. “You’re not sure if you want me here, that’s an obvious ‘leave, Colin.’”
“Colin, I like your company. But this is awkward, and I hate it.”
“I’ll see you in class,” I tell her. “Oh, you like coffee, right?”
“I do,” Lily answers. The confusion is written all over her face. I don’t blame her. It is an odd question.
“I’m taking you coffee tasting later.”
She starts to laugh, leaning her head against the door for support. “I’ve heard of wine tasting, cake tasting, even soup tasting. But never once did I hear someone say, ‘I went coffee tasting.’”
“It will be fun, trust me.”
She has a point though. Coffee tasting isn’t something a lot of people do. Might as well be a one out of one thousand situation. But driving around the city, going to taste every coffee the café has to offer sounds like fun. And like a lot of caffeine.
Caffeine aside, we will find the best coffee in the city. That way Lily and I can have a spot. Our spot, with the best coffee.
That being said, I say goodbye to Lily and leave to get back home.
I need to take a shower before classes start. And I need to call my father to beg for forgiveness. Okay, I don’t have to beg for it. All I really have to do is tell him why I missed morning practice.
I could so easily tell my father about Lily. Tell him what she is going through. He would excuse me for the rest of the week, maybe even the next as well.
But given that Lily is suicidal, he would try to contact her parents. And I can’t have him do that. Lily would murder me.
