Staying at Josie’s did nothing for my mind. I grew anxious, I paced around her floors, and eventually she cut me loose. Not that I didn’t want to hang out with her at her beautiful studio apartment or anything, but Porter kept popping up into my mind. I mean, why the fuck was I so afraid of making my brother angry? If he didn’t want to get on board with my happiness, that was his issue. Not an issue I had to fix. Fuck my brother’s feelings on this shit. Porter made me happy and I loved him. I had loved him my entire life, and now I had the chance to be with him.
So, it felt like a no-brainer as to where I needed to be.
“Porter? Have you been drinking?” I asked.
I figured he wasn’t at my place because of my threat. But standing here in front of him when he smelled like alcohol turned my stomach. Had he backslid because of me? Maybe he hadn’t stopped and I simply didn’t notice. I couldn’t love another alcoholic again. I saw that down-spiral once and was helpless to stop it, and I couldn’t do it again.
I left him once over it and look what happened. Don’t judge him for it.
“Astrid. What are you doing here?” Porter asked.
My eyes fell to the plastic bag of empty alcohol bottles. “How—how much did you drink?”
“No kind of hard liquor, I promise. I came to my senses before that happened.”
My eyes whipped up to his. “What?”
I watched him walk past me and I turned toward the stairs. He shuffled down them before he paused halfway and looked up at me. He beckoned with his head for me to follow so I reached into his apartment and grabbed the door knob.
And after closing his front door, I rushed to his side.
“I will admit that I had several beers before I came to my senses. But for my liver, that’s a quick shower.”
I snickered, even though it technically wasn’t funny. “How many beers?”
He drew in a deep breath. “Six? Seven? I shotgunned them, so half of it is on my kitchen floor anyway.”
I sighed. “But… the liquor bottles?”
He leapt off the last few steps before holding out his hand for me. “Poured it all down the drain. Still got the water running, too.”
I slipped my hand into his and walked down the rest of the steps. “I’m proud of you for that. I can only imagine how hard that was.”
“Eh, don’t praise me just yet. I cleaned out my fridge and pantry, but I’ve still got three stash places around the apartment. Once I get it all poured out, then we can celebrate.”
He tried to let go of my hand, but I squeezed even harder. And when he shot me a quizzical look, I interlocked our fingers. His face softened and his eyes flashed with happiness. He pulled me to his side and kissed the top of my head, making butterflies shoot off in my gut. I loved this man and everything that came with him, and if he was strong enough to stop himself while drinking then I was strong enough to stand up to my brother.
And as we walked to throw the bottles into the dumpster, I thought things couldn’t get any better than this.
“I’m really proud of you, you know,” I murmured.
He led me away from the dumpster. “I’m done with that shit. It won’t even come into the house. Or my apartment.”
I nodded. “And I’m not really a drinker unless Josie and I are going out, so there’s no random bottles of wine at my place or anything.”
He kissed the top of my head again. “I’m really glad you’re here.”
I tightened my grip on his hand. “I’m glad I’m here, too.”
“Come on upstairs, I’ll show you my bare bones place. It’s the place of an alcoholic right now, but I hope to breathe some personality into it eventually.”
I giggled. “I’d love to see it anyway.”
We walked up the stairs, hand in hand, and when we entered his apartment I saw what he was talking about. I didn’t really see it before when I closed his front door, but now that my eyes were bouncing off the walls of the place he called “home,” I saw what he meant. He didn’t have much furniture other than a rickety couch, a cracked flat-screen television, and the bed in his bedroom was just a mattress and box-spring on the floor. I walked into his tiny bathroom and wondered how the hell he survived this every morning. I mean, the shower itself looked like it was much too tiny for him.
“Can you even get under that showerhead?” I asked.
Porter snickered. “Not in the slightest. I have to bend over every time I want to wash my hair.”
“Yikes. We need to get you out of this place.”
“Well, my lease is up in a couple of months and I haven’t put in an intent to stay, so I guess I should start looking for other places.”
“You could come stay with me.”
He froze. “I can’t believe you’re actually offering that.”
I tugged him out of the bathroom. “You could always say no.”
“No, no, it’s not that. I think it’s a great idea. I’d love to spend more time with you that way. Plus, I’d be able to secure your safety, which means the world to me.”
My cheeks flushed. “Thank you.”
He cupped my cheek as we stood in his bedroom. “But Brooks. He owns that house, right?”
I shrugged. “I’m not paying him rent, so it’s not like he can evict me.”
“But he can get you for squatting or some shit, I’m sure.”
I sighed. “We can’t be afraid of him forever. We can’t just side-step my brother and your best friend because he doesn’t like this arrangement. And if he really wants to get petty enough to throw us out because I’ve offered for you to move in, then we don’t need him anyway. That’s not the kind of family I want in my life, and that isn’t the kind of best friend you deserve.”
He closed the distance between us. “I love you Astrid. And I’d love to move in with you.”
Tears crested my eyes. “I love you too, Porter. And I can’t wait to move you in.”
His lips teased mine as he bent down toward me. “My drinking days are gone, you have my word. I’m going to work on getting the help I need to make sure I never fall down that dark hole again.”
I feathered my lips against his. “Such magical words.”
He kissed me softly. “I promise you, I’m going to start going to A.A. meetings. I’ll find a sponsor. Someone to help keep me on course.”
I kissed him gently back. “You astound me every day, handsome.”
His hand ran through my hair. “And above all, I promise never to do anything that compromises my ability to protect you and be there for you.”
My knees grew weak. “Kiss me.”
“I thought you’d never fucking ask.”
The second his tongue collided with mine, I felt like my heart might actually burst from within my chest. My arms blanketed his neck, holding tightly to him as he pulled my body against his own. We stumbled over to his mattress and fell toward it, letting the old fabric suck us in until we couldn’t move. And as I giggled against Porter’s lips, he snickered.
“Maybe we should just toss my bed out,” he murmured.
I giggled profusely. “Yeah, I think I can actually feel your box spring.”
He slid off the bed and held out his hand. “Come on. I’m hungry, and I think we’re going to need fuel for the journey ahead.”
The darkness of his eyes shivered me to my core. I took his hand in stride and he pulled me up, stumbling me on my feet. I fell against him and felt his muscles catch me. His arms wrapped around me as he steadied me on my feet, and when I peeked up at him I found nothing but love and adoration staring back.
“You feeling pizza or burgers and fries?” he asked.
I smiled. “Pizza. Easier to eat in bed that way.”
He growled. “A woman after my own heart.”
He captured my lips one last time before we started out of his apartment. He walked me out to my car before he headed for his bike, then away we went. I followed him to the one pizza place in town that had a drive-thru and we put the pizza, breadsticks, and two-liter drink in the backseat of my car.
And when we barreled into the house, we made our way upstairs.
“Please tell me we’re eating naked,” Porter said.
I heard his clothes dropping in the hallway as I carried the food into the bedroom. “Is there any other way to eat while in bed?”
I set the food down on the mattress and quickly shedded my clothes. But before we could even wiggle our way into bed, a pair of lips attached themselves to my neck. Porter kissed and nibbled. Licked and sucked. And while the tantalizing smells of pizza and breadsticks lingered in the air, his tongue held me captive.
“Porter,” I moaned.
He slid his arms around my waist. “You taste like dessert.”
I giggled. “Shouldn’t we eat dinner first, then?”
So, to answer me, he spun me around and crashed his lips against my own. He pushed his tongue between my lips. He pressed himself against me, his muscles sinking into my curves. My pussy lips became wet for him. My muscles trembled for him. The whole of me caved as he cloaked my back with his arms, kissing me with a passion I’d never felt before.
And it caused me to forget all about the food on the bed as we sank to the floor of my bedroom.
