Field training: Day 41, hour 17
“Oh, fuck yeah.”
“Oh my sun god, your cock is so big, Aran.”
“You like that, you little slut?”
“You’re the best fuck I’ve ever had!” Sadie shouted dramatically.
Smack.
Slap.
Water sprayed as we both threw our fully clothed bodies against the shower wall. We were sopping wet and giggling like lunatics as we pretended to have aggressive shower sex.
Sadie smacked her hand against her thigh loudly and screamed, “Ow, harder, baby!”
Smothering my laughter, I backed up so I could take a running start, then threw myself, limbs spread wide, against the shower wall.
The floor vibrated from the intensity of my body slam.
“Oh, how you punish me so deliciously,” Sadie moaned wantonly while she fell onto the floor, silently laughing.
Once again, I backed up and flung myself into the wall.
“So hard!” Sadie put her fist into her mouth to muffle her laughter.
Holding my forearms together under the spray, I slapped my hands back and forth as hard as I could.
“Oh sun god. Aran. What are you doing to me?” Tears streamed down her face as she lay in the fetal position, laughing. “No, really,” Sadie whispered up to me. “What was that slappy thing?”
“It’s okay, baby. Let Aran blow your mind!” I yelled as I shrugged, not entirely sure why Sadie had decided we needed to mimic aggressive lovemaking so all the recruits could hear.
Sun god knew they’d had enough orgies in the last few weeks that nothing I could do would even faze them.
A horrible realization hit me. “Wait, Jinx is out there.”
Sadie waved a hand dismissively as she whispered furiously, “She 100 percent knows we’re faking it. Plus, I couldn’t just let those fae fuckers walk all over you.”
I sighed and slid down onto the shower floor beside her, exhausted from the last hour and mildly concussed from when I’d slipped and accidentally kissed the shower floor with my skull.
Sex was hard work.
“Ugh, I love aftercare with you!” I yelled just to make it clear that I was a considerate lover who cared about women, unlike all the men.
“Good call.”
We relaxed together in comfortable silence.
The warm spray pummeled both of us, and memories rolled through me.
Last time we’d lain in the shower together, I’d been riddled with bullet wounds and Sadie had just saved the girls from a kidnapping.
Sadie spoke quietly as she sidled closer to me and linked our pinkies together. “When I first saw your roommates, I was like, ‘Holy sun god,’ and thought you were living any woman’s fantasy. Wow, the three fae hunks with the neck tattoos. And the blond one is…wow. Just wow.”
Sadie fanned herself with her hand.
“Yeah, but their personalities.” I held my thumb down.
Sadie sighed heavily and moved her head so the water hit her face-first. “Yeah, they opened their mouths, and oh boy. They fucking suck. Why are you letting them treat you like crap?”
I closed my eyes and tried to explain it to her. “Trust me, I’m not trying to. But it’s a little difficult when we’re training twenty-four seven and fighting monsters. Also, I’m just one of the guys, remember? This is probably some weird hazing shit men do to other men.”
Sadie didn’t look convinced.
“I don’t know, it seems super personal. I’d say they were obsessed with you, if they weren’t fucking terrifying and giving off enough anger waves to make the don seem tame.”
I mimed shooting myself in the head. “Yeah, it’s fucked up.”
“Do you want me to break you out of this place?” Sadie’s expression hardened. “I will do it; just say the words. I really don’t mind starting a diplomatic emergency.”
For a second, I imagined what it would be like to run away from this nightmare.
But then all I could picture was the dying people. The voices in the flames. What I’d already done.
I shook my head sadly, fingers raised as I played with the scalding spray. “I’m afraid this place has already corrupted me. I couldn’t just walk away, even if I wanted to.”
Sadie stared at me sadly.
I opened and closed my mouth, struggling to put it into words.
Struggling to explain there was no escape from Elite Academy because it had already poisoned every facet of my life.
The ungodly were still out there, expanding and slaughtering. And for some reason, the tree had chosen me.
I finally said, “I’m afraid it’s put me on a path I can’t walk away from.”
Because for the first time, I could see a purpose for my life that didn’t involve being slaughtered for my throne.
Sure, that was still a problem that hadn’t gone away. But there was a chance I could go years, decades, centuries before my problem was found out.
They’d appoint an interim monarch, and just maybe they’d give up the search and assume I was lost forever.
I’d just get slaughtered fighting monsters in foreign realms. For some reason, I liked that option more.
“I know exactly what you mean,” Sadie whispered. “It’s time I told you about what really happened at the ball.”
I turned my head toward her.
Our faces hovered inches apart, and the weight of the realms was heavy between us.
For the next hour, I listened with horror as Sadie explained the reason behind Dick’s abuse. The voice in her head and the army she was fated to lead.
When she finished, I gaped at her and struggled to process the situation.
“A war that involves gods? I wonder if it’s connected to the ungodly?” My intuition was screaming at me that everything was connected. “And you’re sure Dick had no idea what the poems were?”
“He had no idea.”
I shivered. “Well, it’s a man’s voice, so it’s not the moon goddess. And if it’s not the High Court, then who could it be?”
“A devil?” Sadie offered. “I was researching powerful beings that could be contacting us, and they kept coming up.”
I racked my extensive knowledge of different species, but I had nothing. “What are they?”
“Remember the poem in the beast realm about the place called hell? Well, I used the Mafia library, and apparently a devil is an extremely powerful creature from the angel and demon realm.”
I asked the important question: “The Mafia has a library?”
“Yeah, and it’s the biggest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Apparently, it was modeled after the library in the Olympus realm.”
“Alexandria?” I breathed in awe.
“Yeah, you’ve heard of it?”
“You haven’t?”
Sadie waved her hand. “Yes, I’m uncultured and apparently know nothing and basically flunked out of school. Moving on. So you know how Dick has wings and is apparently an angel?”
I nodded. It had been shocking to see the crystal-blue wings arching high into the air at the ball.
I’d always been amazed by the detailed paintings that showcased naked men and women falling from the sky, wings extended, as they plummeted from the stars.
Seemed less exciting now that I’d seen one in real life.
He hadn’t sparkled with an otherworldly glow and, for the most part, had just seemed like a normal man with wings.
Sadie continued her story. “Well, apparently angels and devils are from the same realm.”
I pictured an entire realm of people with wings, and amazement washed over me.
“According to ancient books in the library, they’re closely related species. Angels are from the cold side of the realm and live in snow, while devils are from the hot side that burns with constant fires.”
Sadie paused for dramatic effect.
“The book said they’re the strongest species in all the realms, and they were recruited by the sun god himself to be his defenders. Because all angels and devils possess unfathomable rage and have the ability to raze the realms.”
Sadie lowered her scratchy voice like she was sharing a grave secret. “But the angels are always painted and talked about because they’re basically the sun god’s ambassadors who help maintain realm-wide peace. But the devils, they’re his secret forces. So cruel and horrible that they fight in the shadows.”
Sadie pretended to stab the air with an invisible dagger. ‘The text said they were so heinous that the sun god would lose the worship of the realms if people saw his devil soldiers. If they ever knew the horrors they committed in his name”
The hot water splattered around us as we contemplated her words.
Devils and angels.
Realms serving the sun god directly.
Rage and unfathomable power.
I sighed heavily.
Why is everything always so violent and dark?
“So if angels have wings, what do devils have?” I imagined a world of fire, ice, and cruelty.
Sadie sighed. “That’s the thing: no one knows. Just something so horrible that the sun god would lose everything if it got out.”
“Sounds terrifying.”
She smiled with excitement. “It is! Now enough about the fate of the realms and all my drama. Tell me about yourself. What have you been doing at this creepy school?”
“Oh, sweetie, you have no idea.”
“Hit me with it.”
So I did.
Sadie grimaced when I told her about the stabbing ceremony at the tree.
Her expression fell further when I explained the Black Ocean.
When I recounted the thirty-mile run, her mouth gaped and she looked at me with sheer horror.
“No.”
“Yep.”
“And how fast were you running?”
“Sub-five-minute pace.”
Her golden skin paled, and she shivered with dread. “So what would happen if you didn’t get the time?”
“Lothaire beat me with his baton and threatened to kill me.”
Sadie gaped at me. “Holy fuck. I would be dead if I were chosen for this place. Like kaput. Not a chance in the moon goddess I’d survive.”
“Yeah, I honestly thought of you a lot during the runs. Still do. Thank the sun god it was me who was sent to this place and not you.”
Sadie’s red eyes were saucers. “And Lothaire drank my blood. He said it tasted powerful, like he was tempted to recruit me.”
“And that’s not even the worst part.”
She gasped dramatically. “How could it get worse?”
“Have you ever seen a monstrous creature rip from a person’s flesh, like they were wearing it as a suit?”
“No?”
“Let me tell you about the ungodly.”
A half hour later, Sadie was on her hands and knees, asphyxiating. “I think I’m going into shock. Moon goddess, you were just explaining the creatures, and I feel like I’m having a heart attack.”
The endless weight on my chest was smothering, and I couldn’t help but blurt out, “I hear them in the flames.”
“What?”
“I think it’s the voices of the villagers I’ve slaughtered.” I swallowed thickly around the lump in my throat and whispered, “Maybe even the ungodly themselves. Just like Ascher described.”
“Oh, Aran.”
“I can’t sleep. I close my eyes, and I see them.”
Every. Single. Night.
Sadie slung her arm around my shoulders and pulled me tight so my larger body was cradled on her lap under the hot spray.
I couldn’t stop sharing. It was equally horrible and cathartic to unload everything that had been eating me alive.
“My back burns unmercifully all the time, like the wound is festering. But it doesn’t itch like it did in the beginning. It’s more of a constant ache. I don’t know if Mother lied or if the enchantment is fucked up. But it’s not just when I’m turned on.”
“Turn over.”
Sadie gently maneuvered me so I was belly down on the cold tile, and she pulled up my sopping shirt.
She inhaled sharply.
“What is it?” The warm water slammed against the wound and helped alleviate the never-ending sting.
“Fuck.” Sadie touched my side gently, and her fingers were trembling.
“What is it?” I repeated with more force.
I’d avoided looking at my back in the mirror because I didn’t want a reminder that I was mutilated for all eternity.
“The good news is I think the letters are starting to fade a little. They’re not glowing as brightly.”
Relief hit me like a punch. Is Mother’s enchantment finally fading?
Sadie’s voice trembled. “Has someone stabbed you in the back? Carved you open?”
“What? No.” Relief died a swift death.
Her pruney fingers slowly traced across the skin between my shoulder blades, and I almost crawled out of my skin at how sensitive it was.
“You have two parallel cuts running along your shoulder blades. They’re extremely deep and look painful as hell.”
“What?”
“They’re on either side of your spine.”
“Do they glow blue like the letters? Maybe it’s some delayed sequence in the enchantment.”
“No,” Sadie whispered, her voice so quiet I had to strain to hear it over the water. “These gashes are pink and bloody. Like you’ve recently been sliced open.”
“Maybe it’s some leftover wound from the last battle with the ungodly?” I suggested, even though I healed most wounds within a day, so that didn’t make sense.
“No, these are perfect. Surgical.
“You need to get this looked at by that witch you were talking about. You need to heal this.”
“No,” I snapped and pulled my shirt down as I sat up. “No one can see my back; you know this.”
Sadie’s eyes darkened as she glared at me. “You cannot suffer like this. I will not fucking allow it.”
“There is nothing we can do,” I snarled back, not sure why we were getting worked up.
“There has to be something.”
“There is no solution for me. No fated mates to help lessen the blow. No amount of love and support could save me.”
The words tumbled from the darkest corner of my soul, the insecure girl who was jealous of everything her best friend had found.
“I refuse to believe that.” Sadie’s eyes glowed bright red in the darkness of the shower, an imitation of the eclipse outside.
“I’ve already accepted my fate.” I straightened my shoulders and tried to radiate competence for my best friend.
Tried to show her I was strong enough to handle the shit hand I’d been dealt in life.
“Well, I refuse to accept it for you. Mark my words: someday you are going to be a powerful queen, with mates who worship you, and you’ll be so fucking happy you won’t even know what do with yourself.”
I laughed at the imagery.
When I thought of my future, I pictured gruesome battles, crippling PTSD, loneliness, and drowning in my own mind.
“If I have your love and support for the rest of my life, that’s enough,” I said honestly.
Because it was true.
Women like Sadie were so full of life and special that they couldn’t help but pull men into their orbit. She’d been through so much, yet she still managed to be so sweet and full of life.
I’d told her once that her soul was white, and I meant it.
I’d been extremely high, and for a second, I swore I could see into her very essence.
It was bright and pure.
I didn’t need to see souls to know mine was not. If Sadie was lightness in the face of suffering, then I was darkness surrounded by pain.
There was no man that could complete me.
Because I was already complete.
Completely fucked up.
Abruptly, Sadie launched herself into my arms and burst into shuddering sobs.
I held her as she cried for both of us, grateful that one of us could still feel.
By the time we emerged from the bathroom, we were soaked to the bone and emotionally drained. I carried Sadie, who always got sleepy after she cried.
“Really, Egan?” Malum snapped as soon as I walked into the bedroom.
I ignored the mercurial king and put Sadie on the floor in front of my bed while I helped towel her off.
The revelation that my back was splitting in two from random wounds was more important than whatever taunts the men had for me.
“We’re trying to fucking sleep. Could you maybe not fuck your slut so loudly?” Scorpius snapped.
I growled but ignored him as I toweled Sadie’s long white hair. She giggled at being called a slut, and I rolled my eyes.
She was so predictable.
I was still confused why any of the men even cared. Hypocrites.
After Sadie was dry, I helped tuck her into my bed and then focused on drying myself off.
From the bed across from mine, John’s eyes were dark flames, and he was glaring at Sadie like he wanted to kill her.
In fact, the kings were all openly sneering at my best friend, who was cuddled into my bed and murmuring bullshit about being sore tomorrow.
“So you’re not a virgin who’s into men?” Malum snapped.
“Excuse me?” I looked over at him with confusion, convinced I must be having hearing failure. What is he talking about?
John snapped, “We thought that’s why you never joined the orgies.”
“Um.” I gnawed on my lips as I tried to figure out what a dude would say in this situation.
Sadie giggled loudly. “Oh, Aran fucks all right. Big dick energy.”
I was going to murder her.
If possible, the tension in the room ratcheted up until it felt like lightning was crackling in the air.
Horace laughed at Sadie’s comment, and the demons looked back and forth like we were free entertainment.
I put on my best toxic male impression and drawled, “Obviously not,” as I pointed to Sadie.
Malum’s steel eyes hardened like he was trying to cut Sadie with his gaze. John made a joke about me having a micropenis.
Please. We both knew I was hung.
I grabbed a clean sweat suit and changed in the bathroom, then climbed into bed and snuggled Sadie close to me while giving her a big kiss on her forehead.
How dare they assume I was a virgin that was into men.
Was I a virgin? Yes.
Was I into men? Yes.
But it still didn’t give them any right to assume things about me. Nosy fuckers.
Sadie was a warm weight against me, and for the first time in forever, I immediately started to fall asleep.
My eyes popped open. “Jinx. Where did she go?”
“I’m a horrible mother,” Sadie murmured like she was worried but then started to snore aggressively.
Glad one of us was responsible. Kind of.
“I’m over here, dumbass.” Jinx was lying upside down in the wingback chair next to the flames.
I relaxed with relief.
“Wait.” I narrowed my eyes through the dark. “Are you tattooing yourself? Where did you get that?”
Jinx dipped a needle into ink and continued to stab it into her forearm. “Yep. Scorpius gave it to me.”
“You’re only twelve. Stop it!”
“Oh, shut up,” Jinx and all the men chorused in unison.
“I recommend a neck tat,” Scorpius said in a civil tone like he was actually encouraging a twelve-year–old to tattoo her neck. Who did that?
“Actually, I just turned thirteen,” Jinx snapped like that made everything better.
“Um, I still don’t think—”
“Shut up, Egan!” Malum bellowed.
I huffed and turned over in my bed. Jax better not blame me if Jinx gave herself a neck tattoo, because I’d tried my hardest.
Then I proceeded to pass the fuck out and get the best sleep I’d had in weeks.
I woke up with my arm wrapped around Sadie’s throat. I’d been choking her out in my sleep. Sadie woke up with a smile.
It was just like old times.
