I RUN my palms over the skirt of my dress. The white nylon fabric is unwrinkled—pristine, just like my pure little life.
I hope he dirties it by the end of the night.
Just before I turn around and walk out of the bathroom, I grab the silver ring from the counter and slip it onto my finger.
In just a few minutes, everything this ring represents will be gone.
I smile as I walk out of the bathroom and into Cole’s bedroom. When he looks up from his phone, he smiles warmly. Thank God, he’s come out of his somber mood.
I’ll think about his marriage comment later. I already knew he was scared of commitment. It doesn’t necessarily mean he won’t take the risk of being in a relationship with me, especially if the next hour is as spectacular as I think it could be.
“You’re wearing white,” he says.
“Yeah, I want to recreate all the things I always planned to do on my first time, except I want it way, way filthier. I probably would have worn white lingerie on my wedding night, but this was the best I could do on short notice.” I lift my hand in the air. “I’m also wearing my purity ring. I would have given it to my husband before we had sex, but I think I’d rather wear it. It seems dirtier to have it on while you’re railing me.”
He chuckles softly, shaking his head. “This is so fucked up.”
“You think so? Purity culture isn’t really Biblical, so it doesn’t feel like blasphemy to me, but we don’t need to do it like this if it creeps you out.”
“It doesn’t. You’re just so different than I thought you would be.” His smile grows lazy. “You’re kind of a little freak.”
“Only because you make me so comfortable.” After I plop down on the bed, I plant a kiss on his cheek. “Okay, I have one more thing to show you, and you’re going to die laughing.” I reach into the pocket of my dress and pull out the tattered paper. “I wrote a letter to my future husband when I was thirteen, and I want to read it to you.”
“Oh my God.”
I laugh. “I know. Just wait till you hear it. I spent so much time trying to word it eloquently, and it’s so basic. It also took me probably an hour to make all of my letters perfect, because I wanted it to look really pretty for my husband.”
“That’s kind of sweet.”
“Oh, it is. So sweet and so sad. Okay…” I take a deep breath as my gaze drops to the calligraphy letters. “‘Dear Future Husband. Today I made a promise to God that I would wait for you. I’m saving my first kiss and my first everything…’” I giggle. “Isn’t it so sad that I had to say ‘everything’ instead of ‘sex’? I couldn’t even write out the thing I was promising to save. Okay, I need to skip some of this because it’s a bunch of evangelical jargon. Oh, this is the best part right here. The ending. ‘I pray that you will wait for me too, but it’s okay if you don’t. You might be on a different journey than me, and I trust in God’s plan. No matter what happens in your life before we come together, know that I already love you with all of my heart, and I will love you forever.”
I let the paper fall to my lap, heat enveloping my chest. “It’s so embarrassing. Could there be any less sexy foreplay?”
When Cole stays silent, I turn to him. His brows are drawn together, and his gaze is unfocused. “I think it’s really sweet,” he finally says.
What is this shift in his mood? He looks more like he did an hour ago after that wretched conversation at the coffee shop.
“Sort of, but I didn’t really know what I was saying. All of these letters are very similar, because our youth pastors usually guide us on what to say. Most of the girls at my church wrote something like this.”
“Yeah, but I bet you really meant it. It’s very like you to love someone without them having to earn it, and to stick by them no matter what.”
I nod slowly. There’s no reason to tell him that I don’t think that part of me was ever healthy, or that I’m glad it’s starting to change. He’s clearly touched by my letter, and I don’t want to spoil the mood.
I’m startled when he grabs me by the shoulders and presses a hard kiss against my lips. His mouth moves to my jaw, and he starts trailing it down my neck. “You’re an angel,” he whispers against my skin.
“Mmm.” The bedroom version of his usual endearment is so much better than the earnest one.
“That feels good.”
When his mouth returns to mine, he immediately slips his tongue inside. His kiss is frantic—
almost desperate—as if he’s searching for something. When he sucks my lip into his mouth and bites down, I gasp. He stiffens before pulling away.
My gaze falls to his rapidly moving chest. “Sorry,” he says breathlessly. He turns away and runs both hands through his hair. “I’ve wanted this for five years. I think I’m losing my mind now that I’m about to get it. We might need to take breaks.”
“Cole, no. I don’t want you to stop yourself. I want you unhinged, like you were last night.”
He smiles warmly. “We can be rough after you’ve gotten used to sex, but not right now. I could hurt you.”
“I want you to be rough.”
He sighs heavily. “It was different last night. My tongue couldn’t hurt you.”
“Believe me when I say I want it to be rough. I don’t even mind if it hurts. I actually kind of liked it when you bit me. I want it to be filthy and rough and a little painful.” I place my hands on his cheeks and stare into those dark brown eyes. “I want you to make me impure.”
Something ignites behind his eyes. He grips me by the hair and yanks my head back, sending a tingling pain into my scalp. After pressing a soft kiss against my neck, he bites down softly. Heat coils in my belly.
“Is this what you want?” The words are delivered through clenched teeth.
“Yes,” I gasp.
He grips my hair tighter. “You need to tell me if I hurt you too much. I won’t do this if you’re going to pretend everything’s fine when you’re in pain.”
“I won’t.”
“I don’t believe you. I think you’ll see how turned on I am, and you won’t want to spoil the moment for me. I won’t be rough with you unless you swear to God you’ll stop me if I really hurt you, and I mean that literally. Swear to your God right now.”
I frown. “Could I promise to God instead? I don’t believe in swearing to God.”
When his eyes grow wide, my face heats. Goodness, he probably thinks I’m so childish. “I know it’s just semantics…” My voice is faint.
“It’s okay.” He loosens his grip on my hair as he presses a gentle kiss against my cheek. “Promise to God, then.”
I meet his heavy-lidded gaze. “I promise to God that I’ll tell you if you hurt me too much.”
“Good girl.” His eyes grow fierce. He yanks me back onto the bed. The burning pain in my scalp warms my whole body.
“That didn’t hurt?” he asks.
“It hurt, but I liked it.”
He groans as he crawls on top of me and settles his weight over my body. Wow, he’s heavy, and his chest is as hard as concrete.
“Filthy girl,” he says. “Do you want my cock now?”
“Yes,” I whisper.
He grips my chin. “Beg for it.”
Heat prickles over my skin. I open my mouth and close it. Why is it so hard to talk this way when I love it when he does it?
He laughs softly. “You can do it, Angel. Be a good girl and beg for my cock.”
I avert my gaze from his. “Please give me your—” I lower my voice, “—cock.”
“That was good, but I want you to say it louder. Say ‘Cole, I want your cock’.”
A jolt of heat shoots into my groin. Why is it so much hotter when he says it? With effort, I raise my voice. “Cole, I want your cock.”
“Are you wet for me?”
I swallow. “Yeah.”
He slips his hand into my underwear and trails his fingers downward. They reach the slippery dampness, and he rolls them around a bit before groaning. “You’re soaking wet, filthy girl.”
When his fingers press inside of me, I intake a sharp breath. He pulls out abruptly, lifts them to his face, slips both into his mouth, and sucks. His eyes are closed, as if he’s savoring the taste.
Goodness, I never thought he would want me this much.
When he opens his eyes, his gaze roams my face for a moment before he smiles. “Are you ready to become impure, Angel?”
“Um… Yeah.”
His brows draw together. “Is something wrong?”
“No, I just…” My skin prickles. “Could you chase me first? I really liked it when we talked about my fantasy last night, and I think I want you to chase me and drag me back to the bed.”
His lips part. He stares at me for a moment. “Are you serious?”
“Yeah.”
His eyes grow wide before averting from mine. “I never thought you’d be this kinky. Not in a million years.”
The tension leaves my shoulders in a rush. That dazed look in his eyes is not disgust.
It’s awe.
He kisses me hard and fast. “Alright, I’ll give you a running start. If you make it outside—which I doubt—head in that direction.” He gestures with his head, smiling afterward. “I don’t want my dad seeing us and calling the cops on me.”
I squeal before pulling myself out from under him and hopping off the bed. “When you catch me, I’ll struggle a little bit, and I want you to tell me I can’t get away.”
His mouth drops open. “I can’t believe this,” he mutters before shutting his eyes and laughing softly. “Alright, my little freak, this is getting into territory even I’ve hardly explored, and I’m not doing it without a safeword. If you really want me to hold you down while you’re struggling, you need to come up with something to say if you need me to stop. Something that will really catch my attention, like ‘pineapple’.”
“What about ‘purity’?
“That’s perfect.” He leans forward, his nostrils flaring. “I’m not feeling particularly patient—” he gestures between his legs, “—so you’re only getting a five-second head start.”
“Sounds good,” I shout before turning around and rushing toward the door.
“Cheater,” he calls out, and I giggle as I run through his small living room. I make it to the slider door and yank it open. Pounding footsteps sound behind me, pulling me into that dark, primitive world.
I’m being hunted.
Heat pulses through my body and settles in my gut. I’ve only made it a few feet onto the patio when a pair of hard arms wrap around me and yank me into the air.
“That was not five seconds,” I shout as I wiggle from side to side. “I want a do-over.”
“Nope.” He pulls me against his chest.
“Let me go!”
He squeezes me so tightly I can hardly take a breath. “No.” His voice is deep and dark. “I caught you. You’re mine now.”
He lifts me and sets my belly on his shoulder. After gripping my thighs, he carries me back into the house. His big footsteps make my head bounce against his back. When we make it into his bedroom, he tosses me roughly onto the bed.
I glance up at him, and his eyes are dark and sparkling.
He liked that just as much as I did.
“Take that off now,” he says, pointing to my dress. “And look at me while you do it.”
My face heats, but I don’t hesitate. His eyelids grow lazy as I lift the skirt of my dress to my chest.
When I pull it over my head and expose my breasts to the air in the room, cold shame starts to coil in my stomach, but it vanishes the moment I look at his possessive gaze.
“Underwear too. Now. And spread your legs open when you’re done. I want to look at you.”
I grab the elastic at my hips. Even as nervous as I am, I’m able to pull my panties down slowly and enjoy the darkening of his expression. After I toss them on the floor, I open my legs.
The little sound he makes is almost a whimper. He doesn’t move for a moment, and the silence in the room grows thick as he stares between my legs. Shame starts to tingle over my skin, and I can’t help but drop my gaze to the carpet.
“No.” His voice is hard. “Look at me now, or I’ll spank you.”
My stomach flips over. Oh my God, I never thought I would want something like that. It was humiliating being spanked by my parents. Why is the thought of being bent over his lap making electricity shoot through my veins?
“I caught you,” he says. “You have to follow my rules now.”
All my instincts tell me to look at him, even though I want to be spanked. I keep my gaze fixed on the carpet, and my cheeks fill with heat. I never disobeyed my parents on purpose. Even playful disobedience feels extremely naughty.
“Alright.” In my periphery, I see him march in my direction. “Time to be punished.”
In an instant, my belly is set on top of his hard thighs. His warm hand brushes over my bare butt, and heat fills my gut.
“Oh fuck, Livvy. You have such a beautiful ass. I’ve wanted to touch it for so long.”
I grin. “I bet you wanted to spank me two nights ago when I ran off.”
He laughs. “I did. If you’d only told me I could, my resolve would have vanished. I’d have fucked you then and there.”
I hum. “I want you to fuck me now.”
“No.” His voice is rough. “You’ve been naughty.”
The sound of his slap echoes across the room. The sting sets in a few seconds later, like tiny needles pricking my skin. Jesus, help me, his hand felt stronger than wood. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. He is a pitcher.
“Wow.” I gasp.
He smooths his warm palm over my butt. “Are you okay, baby?”
“Yeah.” I gulp in a deep breath to ease the pain. “I don’t think my parents ever even spanked me that hard.”
“Oh shit. Am I traumatizing you by doing this?”
“No,” I say quickly. “I really like it. I think I like pain.”
“Hearing you say things like that is like a fever dream.” His voice drops low. “You’re going to get a lot of it. I’m going to spank you more, and then I’m going to shove my cock into your tight pussy.
You’re going to take it like a good girl. Do you understand?”
I whimper. “Yes.”
The pressure of his hand settles on my lower back. “If you move at all while I spank you, you’re getting fucked right away, and I won’t be gentle.”
My vision turns into slits. “Okay.”
A hard slap resounds, and this time the sharp pain makes my gut clench. I wiggle a little, just so I can get the punishment I crave.
He holds me tightly. “Looks like you want my cock.”
His big fingers squeeze into my waist as he flips my back onto the bed. After settling his hard body over mine, he grabs my wrists and pins them over my head. He’s so heavy, I can hardly take in a breath. “I’m going to hold you like this,” he says, “so you know you can’t get away, but then I’m going to be gentle with you.” He presses soft kisses from my jaw to my collarbone. “Like this.” He talks between kisses. “Because I can’t just hurt you. You’re too sweet. Even when you’re naughty, I want to make you feel good.”
I swallow. “But you are going to hurt me. You’re going to shove your cock inside of me.”
His groan is almost a growl. “It’ll only hurt at first.” When he sucks my nipple into his mouth, I whimper. “But then I’m going to make you feel so good. I want to keep you. I won’t let you go but I don’t want you to run away from me again.”
A smile tugs at my lips. I love that he knows exactly what to say in my private fantasy world.
“What happens if I try to run away?”
With one hand wrapped around my wrists, he sets the other on the back of my head and brushes his fingers against my scalp. My eyelids fall shut, and when he grips my hair and yanks my head back, I gasp.
“You’ll get punished. That way you’ll understand you’re mine now.” He lets go of my hair and sets two fingers on my clit.
I thrust my hips forward. “Yes!” The word is a plea.
“I won’t let you go, Angel, but I’m going to make you feel so good that you’ll want to stay with me forever.”
When he starts rubbing my clit, I whimper.
“You’re going to beg me to stick my cock in you.”
“Yes! Please, Cole.”
“Not yet.” He rubs faster. “Is this how you like it?”
I shift back from his hard fingers, trying to find my rhythm. “A little softer.”
He eases his touch to a little more than a tickle, and it’s perfect. Electricity spreads from my core to the tips of my fingers and toes. “Of course,” he whispers into my ear, “you’re soft. Soft and sweet like an angel, and I’ve wanted to soil you from the moment I laid eyes on you.”
“Cole!”
He lets go of my wrists and places a palm over my mouth, pressing down hard. “Not now. Only when you come.”
I moan, and the sound is muffled against his hand. Abruptly, he withdraws his hand from my clit, and my hips jerk at the loss of his touch.
“I’m going to fuck you now.” His eyes are nearly shut.
“Yes.”
As he gets up to undress himself, I look away for a moment, nervousness starting to flutter over my skin. The sound of plastic ripping open makes my whole stomach flip over. That must be the condom.
This is really happening. In a moment, I won’t be pure anymore.
Cole
I’M NEVER LETTING her go.
Those soft brown eyes stare up at me as I grab my cock and place it between her legs. As I start to work my way inside, a warm wave washes over me, making me dizzy. “Oh Christ, you’re tight.”
“Too tight?” As soon as the words are out, she winces and turns her head. “Sorry. What a virgin thing to say.”
Oh God, she’s sweet.
And all mine.
I grab her by the chin, gritting my teeth as she clenches around me. “You’re perfectly tight, but you’re still going to take all of me, Angel. Do you understand?”
Her eyelids grow heavy. “Yes, Cole.”
When I push myself all the way inside, I let out the groan I’d been holding in. It sounds like a roar to my ears.
It’s only when I start to move that a shred of humanity pulls me out of my primitive sexual haze. I glance down at her, and those pretty dark brows are drawn together.
I place my hand on her cheek. “Oh Livvy, baby. I forgot to ask you if it hurts.”
She shakes her head. “It doesn’t.”
After running my fingers from the back of her neck to her scalp, I grip her tightly by the hair. “Tell me the truth, Angel. You promised to God you would.”
“It’s just a little uncomfortable, but it’s already going away, and I don’t want you to stop. I want you to call me a good girl again.”
Tenderness tightens my chest. “You are a good girl, taking my whole cock.”
When she stares up at me with those big, beautiful eyes—full of awe and trust—I lose myself.
Here she is, my angel. I caught her, and now that I have her by the hair with my cock deep inside her, I’m never letting her go.
I’ll be good to her, but I won’t let her go.
“I’m going to mark you,” I say. “So that everyone knows you’re mine.”
“Okay…” It sounds like a question.
I lean forward and lick her neck before biting down. She hisses, but I don’t think I really hurt her.
I pull away and look down, loving the red print on her pretty skin.
“If anyone asks you about that, say Cole gave it to you.” I grab her hips before thrusting hard.
“Because I own you now.”
She whimpers, nodding frantically. “Yes!”
“I own every part of you.” I grip her by the neck and squeeze tightly. “Say it. Say, ‘Cole, you own me’.”
She thrusts against me, clearly trying to find her own rhythm, but I won’t let her. Not until she gives me what I want. “Cole, you…”
I give her neck a squeeze. “Say I own you. Say it!”
“You own me.”
Her words flow through me like a drug, and my eyes fall shut. I ram into her tightness again and again, clenching my teeth to keep the unbearable pleasure from sending me over the edge. I need more. So much more.
“All of you,” I say, as I trail my fingers down her big, luscious ass. I slip one finger between her cheeks and press it into her tight hole.
She shrieks, and I laugh. “That’s mine too,” I say. “Every part of you. Oh God, Livvy, I’m going to fuck all of it. Fuck you raw.” I pound into her so hard that her head presses into the wall.
“Cole!”
“Yeah, you like that, don’t you? Filthy girl. My fallen angel.”
“Yes!”
Her dazed eyes tell me she’s close to coming, so I place my hand on her skin and trail it down until I find her clit. I rub softly up and down, and she releases a soft little whimper. Her pussy clenches around my cock. The pleasure is so overwhelming, I could die.
When I slam into her again, she stares up at me with her brow furrowed and her lips parted.
It’s the look.
The look that makes me feel like a hero and a dark villain at the same time. A look that stirs ancient feelings of subduing and conquering.
When I remove my hand from her clit, her eyes widen. “Cole?”
She’s sexually frustrated, and God, I shouldn’t be doing this. This should be about her pleasure only.
But I can’t help myself.
“Tell me you’re mine forever,” I whisper into her ear. “And I’ll let you come.”
“You’re…” I pound into her, she intakes a sharp breath. “You’re mine.”
“No.” I grip her shoulders and dig my fingers into her skin. “Say, ‘Cole, I’m yours forever’.”
She whimpers. “Cole, I’m yours forever.”
Pleasure radiates throughout my body. I’m so close to coming. I have to grit my teeth to fight it. I place my fingers on her clit and rub slowly.
“Yes!”
I increase the pace of my fingers, and each thrust into her sends spasms of heat throughout my body. “Say it again.”
Her brows draw together. “Say what?”
“Say, ‘I’m yours forever.’”
“I’m yours forever!” This time, she shouts and moans as her body flails every which way.
“Yeah, that’s it. Come for me, baby.” When I increase my pace, she screams. She clenches around my cock in pulses, her eyelids falling nearly shut.
“Oh fuck, you’re so gorgeous,” I say.
Just as her body grows limp, I pull out of her and yank off the condom. “You’re going to take all of my come.”
I put my hand around my cock. After only one stroke, electricity shoots from my core and pulses through my veins. Fuck, this is the most unbearable pleasure of my life. Come spurts out of my cock onto her belly, and a dark possessiveness settles over me.
She’s mine.
My mind is blank for a few blissful moments. It’s just me and the soft angel in my arms. The voice of regret is so distant now, it’s hardly a mutter.
But as the seconds pass, and the post-orgasm bliss starts to fade, and the voice gets closer.
This was only her first time, and she has her whole life ahead of her.
She’s not really yours forever.
