My sweet Rose arrived in her hometown a little while ago. She had been sending me texts all day about what she was up to. I snapped a picture of the hot chocolate I was drinking beside the fire with Lisa, sending it to her with a smile.
Rose: You have hot chocolate, but I have joe.
She replied with a picture of a cup of coffee and a big burly tattooed man who looked like he could butcher people for a living. Rose has some interesting company.
Lucas: Should I be worried?
Rose: Ha! No way. Joe’s my mom’s ex, my tattoo artist and my therapist all in one. You’ll meet him when we come here together.
I smiled, knowing she wanted me to come with her next time. It made me happy to know she wanted to introduce me to others. She’s not afraid to show me off.
Lucas: And when will that be? I’m not a very patient man, you know.
Rose: How about the week after the championship?
Lucas: Sounds perfect. I miss you. I’ll let you focus on Joe now.
Rose: I love you
Lucas: I love you too.
Rose: In case you’re wondering, I miss you too.
I can’t wait to have her back in my arms. I am going to devour her when I see her again. I won’t let her out of my sight. She is going to be kept in bed with me all day.
‘What’s Liv up to?’ Lisa asked with a knowing smirk.
‘She’s catching up with an old friend.’
‘That’s good. I’m glad you guys are getting some time to yourself. You are so attached at the hip. That can’t be healthy.’ Lisa gave me her unwanted opinion. I rolled my eyes at her, making her do the same to me.
‘Who asked you?’ I bit back.
‘Don’t get snappy with me. I’m saying you guys need to remember you’re two separate people. You can’t be with each other all of the time.’
‘You two stop it. This is supposed to be my gift, so no bickering,’ Mom scolded us.
‘Sorry, Mom,’ we said in unison.
‘Jinx!’ Lisa pointed with a laugh. I rolled my eyes again at her.
‘We’re not five, Lisa.’
‘Oof, tell that to the laws of superstition when they come for you with bad luck for breaking my jinx.’ I watched her shake her head like she was so disappointed in me. I was glad to see she was still being herself after what had happened. The guy hadn’t bothered her since Rose beat the ever living shit out of him. I am sure Viking Man and Mr. Clean sealed the deal. I would have shit myself if I were left alone with those two after a small girl beat me up.
‘Lucas, why did you bring so many journals?’ Mom asked, picking one up. I ran quickly towards her, taking the journal from her hand before she peered inside it.
‘They’re Rose’s old journals. The ones she’s letting me read.’
‘Hmm, that’s quite a lot of them. Why is she making you read them all?’ Mom’s brow pinched in the middle, a bit upset.
‘She isn’t making me. I wanted to, and she allowed me to,’ I corrected her.
‘I don’t think I would ever want my boyfriend reading my journals. Especially not my high school ones. She’s either very brave or very naive.’ Mom gave me her unnecessary commentary.
‘Weren’t you and Lisa about to go shopping?’ I reminded her, ready for her to stop talking about Rose.
‘Yes, we’re going now. Call if you need anything, and stay out of trouble while we’re gone.’ She pinched my cheek for a moment before heading towards the door with Lisa.
‘No problem. I’ll keep myself busy.’ I held up the journals to let her know I’d be reading. I heard the car we rented back out of the driveway and onto the narrow road which led to the cabin. I know they’ll make it and be fine, but I hate thinking about them driving in the snow. I tried to push the thought out, replacing it with Rose’s journal.
Dear Future Me,
Ian still has not written back. It’s almost the end of June. Should I have gotten something by now?
To distract myself and to try to get out of the house I used the bike Ian left to try and find a job. Guess what? We did it! It was super random and very weird, but we have a job at the Iron Work Tattoo Parlor starting tomorrow. I was inquiring in different restaurants and fast food places when I heard a strong male voice from across the street.
‘Hey, kid!’ A large intimidating man called to me. I didn’t know what to say, but I didn’t shy away. ‘Come here, redhead.’ he called me over to me.
I crossed the street a bit wearily of the large man. I figured I could probably take him if I needed to. When I got to him, he folded his arms in front of his chest and looked down at me.
‘Are you looking for a job?’ He had asked me.
‘Yes, I am,’ I answered cautiously.
‘Perfect, you start here tomorrow,’ he told me, going back into the tattoo shop I’m almost certain I’m not even allowed inside of. I didn’t say anything, allowing myself to have the small victory of finding a job. I guess we’ll have to see how it goes.
A hopeful, Past You
I smiled, imagining the same large man from her picture randomly telling her she got a job she didn’t even apply for. This must be around the time she starts to get tattoos. I wonder which one she got first?
Dear future me,
Joe is the man’s name who gave us the job yesterday. He said we look too nice to be greeting people, so he placed me in the back, helping clean and sanitize everything.
Joe is a big guy with many tattoos himself. He does nice work on everyone, but they complain because it isn’t exactly what they asked for. Joe makes it better, so much better. He gives them what they want in a better way and they should honestly be grateful. I watched him work on a lot of people today. There were some crazy tattoo ideas and some very emotional ones as well. Joe did both jobs with the same seriousness.
I like the place. They play good music, the people all look intimidating, but are all very nice. Besides, I like getting to see how tattoos are done. I liked watching someone’s skin come to life with ink. I wonder if I could get one too. It would be nice. I’d let Joe do mine. I like his work the best, even if it isn’t exactly what you asked for.
Joe was annoyed with me a lot of the time. He scolded me when I did something wrong, taking it and doing it for me. I will learn, and I’ll get better. I don’t like doing a bad job on anything. I’ll impress Joe.
A determined, Past You
P.S. Still no word from Ian. Hopefully, soon.
I loved having that picture of Joe now. It was nice to have an image to go along with the man she wrote about. I found myself almost laughing, picturing Rose in there working. I think I like this Joe already. I think I see what happened with Ian now too. He ghosted my sweet Rose. Fucking asshole. How dare he worm his way into her heart and then rip it out when he moved?
He could volunteer in all the non-profit organizations and be the nicest guy on the planet. I still wouldn’t like him for hurting my Rose. I hope Rose feels the same way. Would she give him the time of day if he popped up in her life again? I would hope not, but I wouldn’t stop her if she did. It’s her life and if she wants to reconnect with him as a friend, then I’ll bite my tongue.
Lucas: I think you forgot to say ex-boss in your description of Joe.
Rose: Oh God, you’re already there?
Lucas: I’m determined to read my journals before you graduate. Trying to get through your high school years by the end of this semester.
Rose: Don’t judge me too much. I’m over here blushing.
She sent me a picture of herself, with her cheeks prominently tinted a rosy red. She is so beautiful, especially when she blushes.
Lucas: I don’t judge, babe. I only tease 😉
Rose: I know you do. I’m still sore from your teasing :p
The reminder of what we’d done before I left rushed all the blood straight to my dick.
Lucas: You’ll be sore again when I see you, Rose. There’s no getting away from it.
Rose: I can’t wait.
I can’t wait either.
Olive’s P.O.V.
After talking with Joe for most of the afternoon. I decided to head to the bookstore. The one, according to Joe, dad’s girlfriend works at. He told me her name and described her in Joe-terms to me yesterday.
‘Blank skin, very plain. She’s got a long neck that could use some free birds. Dark hair, and a round face that screams innocence. She’s young too.‘ He told me.
So now here I am, stepping inside some book shop to spy on dad’s girlfriend. I wonder if she even knows about me? Has she seen any pictures of me? I know there is only one hanging on our wall. Any pictures with mom had been burned away when I turned 12, leaving one hanging frame of me when I was a baby, sporting a big toothless grin. I don’t think she’d be able to recognize me from that picture, even if she had seen it.
I grabbed a book off a display table, flipping it and looking interested in it as I eyed the dark haired woman behind the counter. Her name was Daisy, according to the name tag. She had a round face, a long neck, and dark hair. So it’s gotta be her right? I continued to walk around the store, looking at her through the shelves or past books. I hid in an aisle with my head peeking out to watch her. She would rub the small bump on her stomach every now and again, letting me know she was pregnant. This must be her. Joe wasn’t kidding. She looked young. Probably around my age. That’s so fucking gross. Why would she be with dad?
I forgot to pay attention to my surroundings as I watched her closely. I was looking to see if she had any marks on her. My eyes were trained at the hem of her sleeves to see if any bruises would show when they moved. She didn’t seem to wince or act like she was in pain. For now, she seemed safe, and so did my little sibling.
‘Red?’ His voice sent a chill down my spine. It was a voice I had dreamt of countless times, only it was deeper, raspier with age. I gripped the edge of the shelf in front of me, trying to keep myself from turning immediately. I swallowed down the emotions that were building up inside me. ‘Is that you, Red?’ What is he doing here?
I turned slowly, meeting those blue eyes I had once fallen in love with. He’d grown more, but he wasn’t as tall as my Knight. His hair was still that golden blonde, but he styled it differently. It was long at the top falling towards his ears in a purposeful mess. It seems, like wine, he had only gotten finer with age. His eyes met mine, and I almost lost my grip on my self control.
‘Ian?’ I finally spoke.
‘So that is you!’ He smiled widely now, making my heart race the way it used to for him. ‘You’ve changed, Red. You look great!’ He added, only making me blush.
‘You too,’ I said awkwardly as he stepped closer, invading my personal bubble. For a moment, I thought he was going to kiss me. I panicked, almost punching him before I realized he was going past me. He peered his head around the aisle curiously.
‘What are we looking at?’ He asked me as he scanned the place. I’d forgotten how carefree he was. I grabbed the back of his loose jacket, pulling him into the aisle again before he was spotted.
‘You’re going to get me caught,’ I lightly scolded him in a hushed voice.
‘Ooo, who are we spying on?’ He gave me that playful smirk of his. The one that let me know he was ready for mischief and gossip.
‘None of your business.’ I brushed him off. As much as I have missed him, he’s the one who chose to end our friendship when he didn’t reply.
‘Come on, Red. Pretty please?’ He gave me the same smile he used to give me in high school. His pretty, please smile, I called it.
‘That’s not going to work anymore. I’ve grown, Ian.’ I started to walk away only to be met by dad’s figure approaching the store, blocking my only exit.
‘Shit,’ I muttered under my breath, causing Ian to lean over me again to see what I was looking at. I felt the radiating heat from his chest against my back. His shirt lightly grazed my own. Before I knew it, he was pulling me back into the aisle. He took his jacket off and placed it on me, pulling the hood up to cover my hair. I placed my arms in the sleeves, only because I needed the jacket to hide.
I pushed all the red under the hood and tightened the strings. Ian leaned forward again, closing the space between us. My heart was racing against my chest, wondering what he was doing. His sweet eyes held mine for a moment before he put a book in front of me. It was a thick book, he had me cover my face with it. His hand stayed leaning against the shelf over me, covering me from the main aisle.
A few minutes passed, and neither of us moved. I kept my eyes on the book he had handed me. I was actually reading it, trying to distract myself from Ian’s close proximity. It was about how to forgive those who have wronged you. I have a hard time with that one. I tend to drop them from my life and pretend they don’t exist. Seems healthy enough to me.
‘I see who you were spying on now.’ His voice tickled my ear as he whispered in it. ‘He brought her food.’
I sighed, finally looking into his eyes again. Damn him, damn those eyes, and damn these emotions that are wanting to confuse the hell out of me.
‘I don’t want to talk about it.’
‘Bull. You totally want to talk about it. I can see it ready to burst from those lips.’
‘I don’t want to talk about it with you. Is he gone now?’ I asked him, moving away as best I could.
‘He’s gone.’ He nodded with a sad smile.
‘Thanks for your help,’ I said, taking his jacket off and handing it back. ‘Goodbye, Ian.’ I started to walk off, only to be grabbed by the wrist and pulled into his chest. He held me tightly in his warm embrace. The one he’d give me when he knew I was going through something rough at home. His familiar scent enticed my mind and my heart. A sweet nostalgia gripped my heart tightly.
‘I swore if I saw you again, I wouldn’t let you go. Why didn’t you write to me, Red?’ My heart squeezed, feeling like it would pop soon. I pushed away from his chest, only to be gripped more tightly.
‘Why didn’t I write to you? Why didn’t you reply? I wrote to you. I wrote to you many times actually, and every day I would check the mail and there would be nothing. It was maddening, and eventually I gave up, snuffing out the last ray of hope in my life.’ I pushed him hard, making his grip loosen enough for me to see his face.
‘I never got one, Red. I checked every day too. I wrote to you as well, only they’d always come back as return to sender. They were left unopened.’ He looked at me tenderly. He didn’t sound like he was lying, but it was hard to believe.
‘That doesn’t make sense. I never saw your letters, not once.’ I shook my head, furrowing my brow.
‘I’ll show you, Red. I kept them all.’ He relinquished me from his embrace, only to take my hand and rush me out of the bookstore.
‘Ian, hold on,’ I said lightly. He was so determined he didn’t hear me. He continued to drag me down the street amongst the historical red bricks of almost every building. ‘Ian!’ I shouted his name this time. He stopped immediately, turning to face me.
‘Red, please. You don’t understand.’ He shook his head.
‘You don’t understand.’ I told him as I ran towards the nearest trash can and puked my guts out. All these surprises had turned my stomach sour again. I felt a large, warm hand rub my back as I puked. It was comforting. It didn’t matter how much time had passed, Ian will always be Ian, and my heart will always have this bittersweet feeling towards him.
‘Are you okay now?’ He asked me when I finished throwing up.
‘As good as I can be.’ I wiped at my mouth with the back of my sleeve.
‘Where are you staying? I’ll drive you there.’
‘I’m at the Water Street Inn, but I can get there just fine on my own,’ I told him, standing straight to try to appear better than I felt at the moment.
‘Alright, I’m going to grab those letters from home. I’ll see you there, Red.’ He ran off, knowing I was going to argue.
‘Ian no!’ I yelled after him, seeing him stick his fingers in his ear to pretend like he couldn’t hear me. He’s still so annoyingly playful. What’s he doing here anyway?
