The morning sickness has been easing as time passes. I wake every morning and stare at the now outdated ultrasound pictures. Today we are going to a gender reveal ultrasound place. We’ll get to see our little bean again. I wonder what it’ll be? Boy or girl?
‘I can’t wait to see my little bud again.’ Lucas smiled at me. I nodded, leaning against him, feeling the same excitement.
‘What do you think, boy or girl?’ I asked him.
‘Girl. She’ll be my little Rosebud.’ He nodded looking only at the ultrasound picture held onto the fridge by an old floral magnet.
‘I say boy. He’d be my little Knight,’ I countered with a smile.
We walked hand in hand towards the front door, seeing our reflection in the tinted glass. The place felt like an overly decorated doctor’s office with pink and gold frills. They want to freeze their clients stiff as I froze my ass off, waiting to be called. Lucas held me close, providing me with some warmth. About 15 minutes later, we were called to follow the technician. She led us to a side room with a door that wouldn’t close all the way. Goosebumps erupted all over my arms as the chill air hit me. It was colder here than in the lobby.
I lay on the frozen vinyl examination table, lifting my shirt as the technician instructed. The cold air was uncomfortable, but the moment my eyes landed on the growing baby inside me, it didn’t matter anymore. My eyes misted over again. I guess they will have the same response anytime I see my child. I felt Lucas’ large hand in my own as he squeezed it. We watched as the technician maneuvered the wand over me.
She’s a girl!
‘Congratulations, guys. You’re having a girl!’ The technician announced as she snapped a picture between our child’s legs with the words, it’s a girl, over it.
We spent a few minutes watching and seeing our baby look more like a baby. She was beautiful, but still so small. I couldn’t help the tears streaming down my face from the pure joy and love I felt. Lucas wiped them away, but his eyes were pink and misted, too. I was happy to see he was willing to cry over our child. He loved his little Rosebud as much as I.
‘What do you think?’ Lucas asked as he spun around the center of the room. It was gorgeous with its glass walls and ceiling. This place was beautiful inside and out, absolutely perfect for our wedding.
‘I love it!’ I exclaimed with a smile.
The Brooklyn Botanic Garden was like this little oasis tucked away in one of the largest cities in the world. There were a plethora of trees, flower borders, and pastoral lawns. There were shrub roses, tall bearded irises, grandiflora roses, and so many more beautiful flowers planted here. It made this place look so beautiful. The colors were vibrant and laid out perfectly.
A beautiful lily pool sat outside the glasshouse, and the view left an indelible impression on me. Perennial and annual flowers bordered two large rectangular pools. There were water lilies and lotus scattered throughout. Tulips surrounded the west side of the pool, along with alliums and other spring bloomers. Since we’ll be having our wedding in the fall after our baby girl is born, they probably won’t be in bloom anymore. Still, this place was magically beautiful and felt absolutely perfect for tying my life together with Lucas’.
‘I like it too.’ Lucas beamed his beautiful smile at me.
We walked around more before we found our tour person again and decided to book our day—September 28th, before it gets too cold, but not until after the summer heat. We had thought about our date for a few months. My mind barely had room for school between wedding and baby planning.
Thankfully, my grades have not slipped in the slightest, but I do get a lot of looks when I enter my class with my rounded stomach. I often feel their stares and judging gazes on me, but I ignore them. They mean little to nothing; the only opinion that matters is that of mine and Lucas, and we are currently over the moon.
Lucas paid to have me get an ultrasound every month so we could see our baby. This is the one time I’m happy he’s rich. It’s a lot less stressful to plan a wedding when you don’t have to worry about a budget, or where the money will come from. After this, I’m going wedding dress shopping with Lisa, Hailey, and Sarah. Lucas pouted that he couldn’t come too. It was adorable, as I rarely see him act so cute. Lisa teased him about it for a few hours until he got annoyed. They were an interesting pair of siblings, constantly annoying one another yet caring for each other deeply. I know they are so close despite their clashing personalities because of their shared trauma.
We left the garden reluctantly. It was such a beautiful place and quite large, too, offering a variety of greens and venues alike. The smells were enchanting, unlike those of the city. I was happy we found this little piece of heaven. We’ll have to come here more often, even after our wedding, to enjoy nature. Lucas was driving me to meet Hailey, who would take me to a dress shop she knew in town.
‘Have fun.’ Lucas kissed my forehead as he dropped me off with Hailey. ‘I’ll miss you.’
‘I’ll miss you, too.’
Lucas and I have not spent a moment away from each other since he returned from his trip with his mom and Lisa. He works in class while I nap or sleep at night. I find myself resting a lot more now. Growing a baby is exhausting.
‘Let’s go, chica. We have a lot to see and many dresses to try on.’ Hailey smiled, linking her arm with mine the way she always does.
I will not lie; I’m more than excited about this part. The little girl in me is singing and jumping for joy. I’ve always wanted this moment and pictured it with my mother. I am sad I can’t share this with her, but I am glad Sarah is here to experience this. She and I got closer after we announced our pregnancy. She’s been giving me care packages every weekend and checking in on me daily through texts or calls. Sarah is a wonderful, sweet, and protective woman. She’s so excited to have a grandchild.
We haven’t told Lucas’ dad about the baby or the wedding. Lucas says it’s best to wait until after the fact for both. He’s worried his dad will try to do something. I haven’t spoken to my father since Lucas punched him in the jaw. Joe hasn’t reported anything with Daisy either, so things are going as well as they can. We entered the dress shop, and a salesperson greeted us immediately. The many white dresses lining the walls and mannequins with the comfortable couches placed throughout the store gave it a fancier feel. I couldn’t believe the sheer number of gowns. It felt like there were a million and one different styles and kinds of dresses. All I knew was I wanted to try on as many as possible.
‘Of course, the size will differ once you have the baby. This is more so we can find the right dress and then come after the baby is born to get the right size.’ Sarah explained as the attendant seemed unsure what size gowns to get for me.
‘We’ll want a dress that doesn’t press against your stomach as you’ll have had a baby. As young and beautiful as you are, your body is still going to need more than a few months to return to its pre-pregnancy stage.’ Sarah added as she looked through dresses. She had taken charge of the situation already. Lisa grabbed her mom by the shoulders and sat her on the couch with a look of warning.
‘Calm down, mom. Let her enjoy the moment, hmm?’
‘Right. I’m so sorry, Olive. I get ahead of myself sometimes.’
‘No, it’s completely fine. I appreciate the advice and guidance,’ I said with a small smile. I hadn’t thought of most of what she had said.
I tried on what felt like a trillion dresses. We determined I was not one for Cinderella-like gowns. The puffy bottoms were too itchy for me and too much to handle. The mermaid gowns were out of the question with how tightly they hugged my figure. Finally, I decided my wedding dress needed to have an A-line figure, lace designs, and be floor length. Those were my three main points. After a few hours, we were all starting to grow tired, but that’s when we found it.
The dress checked my three criteria. It was floor length, cascading around me on the sides and back but staying at my ankles in the front so I wouldn’t step on it while I walked. The bodice was made with intricate lace detailing and had a split down the middle between my breasts. The sleeves were a quarter inch and made of lace and silky white fabric. The lace extended over the bottom of the dress. It didn’t cover the entire base, with lace stripes down the front and sides. It was perfect. This is my dress.
Olive: You’re coming to my graduation, right?
#1 Best Friend: I wouldn’t miss it for the world.
Ian’s reply made me feel better. He and I hadn’t spoken much since Christmas. I know he meant it when he said we were still friends, but he needed time to get over me. We still text, but it wasn’t daily like it had been before Christmas. It made me a bit sad, but I know it’s for the best. Hailey, on the other hand, texts and calls multiple times a day and drops by every other day with something new. Yesterday, it was a little red bracelet made of yarn. I’m meant to put this on our child when she’s born. Hailey made me swear I would, so I did.
‘I’ve been thinking a lot about what we should name our little Rosebud,’ Lucas said as he rubbed his hands over my growing baby bump. He’d been reading my college junior year journal. He’s a couple of journals away from the one he’s been desperately wanting to read…his journal.
‘Okay, what have you come up with?’ We’d been thinking of names for a couple of months now, but nothing has felt right.
‘Abi,’ he said, and my eyes instantly watered. My pregnancy hormones have been wild, causing the craziest mood swings. I cry so quickly now over everything and anything. Yesterday, I bawled because I forgot I had eaten the last peach and had to have another one. Lucas ran to the store and got me five more right away. He’s been so patient and understanding with me. I swear he’s the perfect man.
‘Are you sure?’ I asked, feeling like maybe we should honor his mother in some way too.
‘Yes, I’m sure. Abi Rose Porter. What do you think?’
‘It’s perfect.’ I nodded my head, shedding overly emotional tears. Lucas held me close as he rubbed my arms. He placed his hand over my baby bump and began to talk to our baby girl…to our Abi.
‘You hear that? You’ve got a name, Abi. Do you like it? Kick once for yes and twice for no.’ I smiled at his antics, loving it when he spoke to her. She kicked at his hand once, making us both smile widely.
‘She’s a genius already,’ Lucas said with the biggest smile yet.
‘She is your daughter.’
‘Our daughter. Rose, you’re so damn intelligent. You’re about to graduate top of your class from Colombia with a hard ass degree, Miss Aerospace Engineer. If Abi gets her intelligence from anyone, it would be you.’ Lucas always lifts me up, and refuses to let me be modest. He says I need to acknowledge my worth.
We spent the afternoon cuddling while we finished making our wedding plans. We had our cake, our colors, our catering menu and our venue. I have the dress I want already picked out. I need to get the right size after I have Abi. All we have left to do is ask our best friends an important question. Hailey will be my maid of honor and Leo will be Lucas’ best man. We need to find a cute way of asking each of them.
‘I can’t wait to marry you, Rose. You’re doing so amazing with everything. I don’t know how you manage it all. Three more weeks until you graduate, two and a half months until Abi’s here and four and a half months until you become my wife.’ He kissed my nose, my cheeks and my forehead as he spoke, leaving my lips for last.
I found myself hornier than usual with these pregnancy hormones, but it’s also super uncomfortable to have Lucas inside me. He’s been so patient and kind with sex. I can get so uncomfortable when he’s inside of me, so instead; he’s pleased me with his tongue or his fingers multiple times. I always feel guilty after, but he tells me not to, and he means it, too. He doesn’t care about his sexual needs being met right now. He promises to ravish me on our wedding night. I can’t wait.
The warm May air and blistering sun, mixed with the black cap and gown, was not a fun way to spend a few hours. At least the seats were cushioned and comfy as we listened to the dean give his speech. I was graduating, and I couldn’t be more excited. I had worked hard for four years, keeping my grades up and my GPA at 4.0. The college has taught me so much.
These last four years have been an experience of a lifetime, not just on campus or in class. I learned how to live, how to pop out of my shell. Hailey met me first, followed by Davis and Carter. I made the mistake of dating Julius, but that led me to Lucas. Because of it, I met Leo on campus and got to see Lucas again. I reunited with Mom, suffered her loss, stood up to Dad, and discovered what actually happened with Ian. Now I sit here waiting to be called ceremoniously to show I have done what I set out to do. The accomplishment I felt was beyond the moon.
I stood to the side of the stage until my name was called with my many accomplishments. The cheers from the crowd were loud and distinctive to the people I most loved. I could see Lucas standing alongside Ian amidst our group of friends who clapped like normal people. I blushed, but I loved the way they cheered for me. Having my flimsy paper in hand I made my way off the stage and back to my seat until the whole thing was over.
‘Liv!’ Hailey waved me down as she pushed past the crowd that had now formed on the lawn. It was a prong of people maneuvering around one another in an effort to find their people. Thankfully, because of my pregnant state, people parted for me without much effort. I walked hurriedly towards Hailey, who took me to the rest of the group.
‘Congratulations!’ Sarah said as she handed me a bouquet of large flowers. She seemed like a proud mother, making me almost cry again.
‘Thank you.’ I smiled at her.
‘You did it, Red! I knew you would.’ Ian hugged me tightly with his wide tooth grin. He held me for a moment until Abi kicked against him. He let me go with wide eyes as he looked down at my swollen stomach.
‘She likes to kick when she feels something pressed against my bump,’ I explained with a loving smile as I rubbed my belly.
‘She’s going to be a fighter, like you.’ Ian’s words hit me hard. I hope she never has to fight.
‘I’m so proud of you, Rose.’ Lucas was next to congratulate me. He pulled me into his tight embrace as he kissed my lips passionately. He was full of love and radiating such joy. I think we both were. Hailey was surrounded by her own family as they congratulated her. She smiled at me as she noticed me watching, then she and her whole family walked over to us.
‘Can you believe it? We’re all done. No more lunch at the commons, or coffee at the little cafe. No more late night studying, or early morning classes to race to. We’ve done it, Liv.’ Hailey seemed so emotional as she spoke. She was right. I hadn’t thought about how graduating meant we wouldn’t be seeing this place much. I’d grown quite accustomed to the campus, and life inside it. Now it’s time to venture out into my career field and put this degree to use. But somehow I think I will miss this place.
‘We’ll still meet up for lunch every Sunday and catch up on life, right?’ I asked, not wanting to lose touch with her now, knowing we won’t see each other every day on campus.
‘Of course, Liv! I wouldn’t miss our dates for the world.’ She smiled her bright smile. We hugged each other for a while, feeling an overwhelming bittersweet feeling. Why are graduations actually kind of sad?
