What the hell am I doing?
She’s my little sister’s best friend. She’s always been completely off-limits. And if I wouldn’t have just come to my senses, I definitely would have claimed her lips with my own. I like the effect I have on her; it feeds my ego, but in a different way than other girls ever have.
I never gave a shit about what they cared about. Impressing them wasn’t something I was trying to do. It’s not my fault they were always just drawn to me and we fell into arrangements like the one I had with Hannah. Olivia, on the other hand… her thoughts and opinions matter to me.
And knowing I have an effect on her gives me a boost of serotonin that gives me a rush. It’s almost like a high. Olivia is an addiction and she’s one that once she invades my bloodstream, I’ll never be able to go without her.
“So, are you going to tell me where we’re going?” Olivia questions me as we head toward the center of the city. She’s been silently staring out the window, as if she’s been trying to avoid me with being confined in such a small space with one another.
“I already told you,” I tell her, looking at her from the corner of my eye. She isn’t looking at me, but instead staring through the windshield. Snow begins to flurry from the dark night sky above us, landing on the glass before disappearing. “I want to show you around town.”
“That doesn’t really tell me much,” she deadpans, turning her head to me. I glance over, meeting her gaze briefly. “You can either just tell me now or prepare yourself for a million different questions.”
A chuckle rumbles in my chest and I pull the car off to the side of the street. Bringing it to a stop along the curb, I put it in park and kill the engine before turning to look at her. “Can you do something for me tonight?”
“That depends.”
“You can ask any questions except for what we’re doing and where we’re going.” My lips lift in a grin as I give her the best puppy dog eyes I can muster. “Live life on the edge a little with me?”
Olivia sighs, her shoulders dropping in defeat. “How am I supposed to deny you when you’re looking at me like that? I think I like the grumpy Sterling better. He’s more of an asshole.”
A laugh escapes me and Olivia looks at me like I have three heads. Licking my lips, I shrug at her. “Maybe you’re rubbing off on me, sunshine.”
Her lips part and she looks as if she’s going to say something in response, but she doesn’t. Instead she clamps them shut and I laugh to myself as I climb out of the car. As I walk around the front of it, Olivia is already getting out on her side. Her eyes are bright as they find mine and I step over to her, holding my arm out for her to slide hers through.
“What are you doing, Sterling?” she breathes, tentatively taking a step toward me as she slips her arm through mine.
The thought didn’t fully cross my mind until now. What am I doing? There’s no sense in dwelling over a small gesture like this and overthinking it. I’m just going to go with it—with her—tonight.
“Let’s play a game,” I murmur, catching the soft scent of her floral perfume.
Olivia tilts her head up to look at me. “What?”
“You’re not Olivia tonight and I’m not Sterling,” I tell her, knowing in the back of my mind that this is a terrible idea. Quite possibly the worst one I’ve ever had. I don’t know where I’m going with this either. This is only going to end horribly.
“Then who are we?” she asks, her breath hitching.
The corners of my lips lift as I wink at her. “Whoever we want to be.”
Olivia stares at me for a moment, her cheeks a rose tint from the cold air. My heart is in my throat as I wait for her response. Part of me is beginning to even regret suggesting such a thing.
“Okay,” she smiles, taking me by surprise. There’s a look of mischief in her eyes and it’s foreign. Olivia always plays it safe, but not tonight. Tonight, she wants to play. “Can we get some food, though? Because I am starving.”
“That’s our first stop,” I tell her, my legs moving as I pull her along with me.
There’s a crêperie at the corner of the block. In the past three years that I’ve been at Wyncote, I’ve never been here once. But I remember when we were younger that Olivia always loved crêpes. She and Stella used to have me take them to one back in our hometown all the time. And even when I stopped taking them, they still went there together.
It’s Olivia’s favorite food and I want tonight to be special for her.
As we reach the end of the block, I lead Olivia to the front door, releasing her arm as I pull it open. The aroma of pastries floats out around us and Olivia looks up at me with a huge grin on her face as I hold open the door for her.
“You remembered,” she says softly, her voice filled with emotion. She catches me off guard with the way she’s looking at me like I’m the sun. But she’s got it all wrong… I’m just merely a cloud hanging in her sky.
“I’ll always remember.”
Olivia stares at me for a moment, her face almost looking as if she’s seen a ghost as the smile falls from her lips. Something unreadable passes through her expression before she recovers and heads inside. I follow after her, feeling a little off as we walk up to the counter.
After looking at the menu and ordering our food, we find a table tucked away in the corner. Olivia is quieter than normal as we wait for someone to bring out our food. Her questions are superficial and her smile is fake. I know the look on her face right now. It’s the mask she wears for everyone. It’s not the smile she has reserved just for me.
The one that feels like a tornado tearing through my chest.
I answer her questions, and most of them seem to be about hockey. I’m not here to talk about any of that with her, but I play along. If I want her to play my game tonight, I need to let her lead right now until she’s feeling comfortable again. I’m just not sure what made her feel uncomfortable in the first place.
After we finish eating, we both bundle back up and put on our coats before stepping out into the frigid night. As we walk down the street, it feels as though the distance between us is growing. Her arm isn’t in mine like when we first got here and I find myself missing her warmth. I want her floral scent surrounding me, invading my senses until I can’t think straight.
Taking a chance, I sidestep, moving closer to her. Her arm hangs down by her side and I slip my hand into hers. Olivia half stops, glancing up at me with her eyes wide. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I’m crossing a line that I swore to myself I would never cross. This was a place I never wanted to go because I knew what giving in to that temptation would do.
“Sterling,” she murmurs my name softly, the sound like velvet as it slides across my eardrums.
“No, babe,” I say quietly, my eyes finding hers as snow flurries begin to fall around us. “Remember, we’re whoever we want to be tonight. Don’t overthink any of this. Just live on the edge with me.”
She stops completely and I halt alongside her. Her warm palm is still pressed against mine, our fingers laced together. “What happens if I fall?”
Fuck.
My throat constricts and I swallow roughly over the lump lodged inside. Her eyes desperately search mine as my heart pounds erratically in my chest.
“Then I’ll be the one to catch you.”
