“Sterling Austin Barrett. I am extremely disappointed in you.”
I roll my eyes, holding my phone to my ear as my sister scolds me like she’s our mother. “I did exactly what you asked me to do, Stella. You never asked me to befriend her. Just to keep an eye on her and make sure she’s safe, which I have been doing.”
“I don’t care. You know how Liv is. She doesn’t make friends so easily because she’s such an introvert. She needs someone to help pull her out of her shell.”
“I’m the last person who is going to pull her out of her shell. You do realize who you’re talking to, right?”
Stella scoffs. “Please, Sterling. Don’t act like you’re not a people person. You just get a bug up your ass every now and then, and that’s when you shut everyone else out. You know how to talk to people. Just make my best friend fucking happy, please?”
Inhaling deeply, I sigh. My eyes fall shut and I roll onto my back as I stare up at the ceiling in my bedroom. “And how do you propose I do that, exactly?”
“Maybe be nice to her for starters?”
It’s my turn to scoff. “I am nice to her.”
“Yeah, right,” Stella half laughs. “I’ve seen how you are with Olivia before. I don’t know what happened that you got such a chip on your shoulder toward her. At one point, you seemed like you enjoyed being around her and then you just went cold on her.”
I swallow hard over the lump that forms in my throat. I didn’t think Stella noticed. Thankfully, she isn’t questioning my reasoning, but she’s definitely noticed that I kept Olivia at arm’s length. And if my sister knew why, I think it’s safe to say that she would agree with it. She would completely understand, especially because she wouldn’t want her best friend to get hurt.
And I’m fairly certain that is the only thing I would do to her.
“Okay, so what else other than being nice to her?”
Stella is silent for a moment. “Hang out with her. Take her out and show her around. She seems so goddamn lonely and I hate that for her. Can you just do me a huge favor and be a friend to her?”
My breath catches in my throat. First, she wanted me to keep an eye on Olivia and make sure she was safe. Now she wants me to be her fucking friend? How the hell is that going to work out?
It isn’t.
“Look, Stell,” I start, but she abruptly cuts me off.
“No way, you’re not getting out of this, Sterling. I’m practically begging you. Please just make some time for my best friend and make her feel like she’s not alone there?”
I fucking hate this. I hate my sister for doing this to me and for putting me in this position. She knows exactly what she’s doing. She’s been doing this kind of shit to me since we were kids and she knows how to take advantage of me. I’ve always had a hard time of telling her no and when she gets like this, it’s almost like I can see my kid sister, begging me to push her on the swings or something.
I can’t say no to her, even if I want to.
“Fine,” I tell my sister, my voice coming out more as a sigh. I don’t know whether it’s from defeat or what exactly. I’m not looking forward to this for all of the wrong reasons. It has nothing to do with not wanting to make Olivia feel like she has someone here.
It’s simply because I don’t want to be that person for Olivia. I can’t be that person because I know I can’t let myself get close to her. There’s something about her; there’s always been something about her, and it wouldn’t take much for me to fall off the edge with her.
I can’t let that happen. I refuse to let that happen. And the closer I get to her, the harder it is to resist.
“Wait, really?” Stella questions me, the surprise heavy in her words. “You’re just going to agree like that and not make it difficult.”
“Don’t make me change my mind,” I warn her even though there’s a lightness in my tone. I may be hard on my sister sometimes but it’s for her own benefit. That doesn’t mean I’m not going to give her some shit too. That’s exactly what we do when we’re getting along, even though some people might think we’re actually being serious.
“Okay, okay. I won’t push anymore.” Stella pauses for a fraction of a second, yelling to someone in the background. “I gotta go, bro, but if I hear a bad report from Olivia, I’m going to come there and beat your ass myself.”
A laugh rumbles in my chest. “Yeah, I’m sure you will.”
Stella is almost half my size. Okay, that’s an exaggeration. She and Olivia are both about the same height, which is easily a foot shorter than me. Not to mention the lifting and workouts that I have to do for hockey. The only thing Stella does to work out her lungs is smoke weed. She couldn’t hurt a fly.
And knowing Olivia… sweet, soft Olivia. She wouldn’t let Stella beat me up even if she is her best friend. She knows how our relationship has always been, but if there’s one thing she wouldn’t stand by, it’s violence.
Stella ends the call with a quick goodbye and the promise of checking in with me later in the week. I don’t know why she feels the need to do that. It’s not like I’m not going to stand by my word. But then again, Stella knows how I am with obligations.
She just doesn’t know how I am when that obligation is Olivia Davis.
The girl I can’t seem to get out of my fucking head.
The next morning, I’m out of the house before any of the other guys, heading to campus. I know how Olivia operates. She’s the type of person who would be at class waiting outside the door before it started. She’s very neat and orderly. I don’t know if she has some form of anxiety or what it is. She creates her own safety nets and they have to remain intact.
Getting to class early is one of her safety nets. She likes knowing what to expect and I appreciate that about her. She’s smart and cautious, even if she doesn’t like to live life on the wild side. That’s one thing I always liked about Olivia. She was never like the other girls. Peer pressure didn’t mean shit to her willpower. If she didn’t want to do something, she wasn’t going to do it.
And I’m not sure if hanging out with me is even something she really wants to do.
Just like I suspected, as I walk into the main building, I find Olivia sitting on a bench by herself. She has AirPods in and her nose is buried deep in a book. She doesn’t notice me when I first step inside, out of the cold. I like it that way. It isn’t often that anyone can see her like this. It might seem like she’s usually in her own little world, but she’s constantly observing everything. There isn’t a detail she doesn’t take in from her surroundings.
But right now, seeing her like this… she is lost in her own little world. Nothing from the outside matters to her and I like it. I like the innocence of it all. The way her mind is captivated in some grand story, one that most likely is far from reality.
A smile tugs on my lips and I step deeper into the foyer area, heading directly toward her. I don’t stop until I’m standing by her feet. Olivia lifts her head, her hazel eyes wide as they meet mine. She quickly closes her book and plucks out her AirPods as she looks up at me.
“Hi,” she says softly, her voice like velvet as it slides across my eardrums. “What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same thing,” I reply as I drop down onto the bench beside her.
“Stella put you up to this, didn’t she?” Olivia questions me, turning to face me. “Look, I appreciate it, but I don’t need a babysitter.”
Her words feel like a knife in my chest. My sister must have talked to her before she called me. I’m not surprised with the way that Stella schemes, but I can see how it’s affecting Olivia. She’s uncomfortable under my gaze and now it’s even more uncomfortable because she thinks that I’m just here because my sister asked me to be.
And I’m not even sure if that’s the full reason why I agreed to do this.
“What if she isn’t behind it? What if I’m here because I want to be?”
A harsh laugh escapes Olivia and it sounds foreign coming from her. The only laughter that I’m used to hearing slip from those beautiful lips is the kind that sounds like music to your ears. Like a melody that you feel in your soul, the kind you play on repeat.
“Yeah, right.” She rolls her eyes at me, which is just as unusual for her. “I talked to Stella last night. I know she called you as soon as we got off the phone. We don’t have to do this, Sterling. Let me save you from putting yourself through any misery and tell you that I’m okay with not being friends.”
She completely catches me off guard. This isn’t the sunshine Olivia that I’m used to and I’m not sure how to respond. It has to be from her anxiety or something, the fact that she’s lashing out like this. It’s an uncomfortable situation for her and I don’t want her to feel like that at all. I want to be one of her safety nets, not something that causes her any anxious feelings.
“She did call me,” I admit quietly as I slide my hands into the front pocket of my hoodie. “But that’s not why I’m here. She doesn’t like that you’re practically all alone here, and I don’t either.”
“I’m fine, Sterling,” she insists, her voice cracking. ‘I’ve made a few friends and I’m getting along here just fine. I don’t need you checking in on me or feeling any type of obligation.”
“And who are your friends? That douchebag you’ve been hanging out with?”
Olivia fights back a smile, ducking her head as she grabs her book and slides it into her bag. “Noah is a nice guy and he’s just a friend, not that it concerns you.”
I can’t help the jealousy and irritation from the thought of the two of them together. He better not put his hands on her. They better just stay friends. Or there’s a strong possibility that I may lose my mind. She may not be mine, but she’s not allowed to be anyone else’s.
Ignoring the comment about Noah, I switch back to the real conversation that we were having. “Stella did ask me to make an effort to hang out with you, but she’s not the reason why I’m sitting here right now. You’ve known me all of your life, Olivia. When have you ever known me to do something that I don’t want to do?”
Olivia lifts her gaze back to mine with a thoughtful look swirling in her irises. She knows that I’m right. If I didn’t want to hang out with her, I fucking wouldn’t. It’s that simple. I may be doing what my sister asked, but it’s because, for whatever reason, I want to.
Even if I know that it’s a bad idea.
I can’t believe I’m fucking saying this shit, but I can’t stop the words before the escape my lips. “Let me be your friend, Olivia. Even if it’s just temporary. Just let me be someone who can be there for you.”
Olivia stares at me before rising to her feet. “I appreciate the offer, but I know how you feel about me, Sterling. You’ve made it crystal clear that I’m a nuisance and you can’t stand me.”
She’s so far off base, with no idea of how I really do feel. And I’m the asshole who has led her to believe that this is how I really feel. She abruptly spins on her heel, heading toward the staircase that leads up to the second floor. “I have to get to class,” she tosses over her shoulder.
I watch for a moment, completely speechless, as she begins to ascend up the stairway. What happened to my sunshine Olivia? Or is this one of her layers that she doesn’t show to the outside world? That thought alone makes my body warm, my heart swelling. She’s comfortable enough with me to show one of her hidden layers.
“Olivia, wait!” I call out after her, hopping off the bench as I begin to sprint up the stairway after her. She stops in the middle, turning around to face me as I stop on the step below her. Where we’re standing, it has her elevated and at eye level with me.
She stares at me, her eyes searching mine as she waits for my reasoning for running after her. I swallow roughly over the lump in my throat and shift my weight on my feet as I get lost in the depths of her eyes. I never noticed the small golden flecks that float in her irises.
“You’re so far off base with how you think that I feel,” I admit, my voice just barely above a whisper. I don’t know what the hell I’m saying right now, but I can’t stop it from coming out again. Something about her strips away my filter. “You aren’t a nuisance and believe it or not, I can stand you.”
“So, why are you so cold to me, Sterling?” she questions me, her eyes desperately searching mine with pain laced in them. “Why do you act like you want nothing to do with me? And now you want me to truly believe that you want to be friends and it’s not just because of your sister?”
“I can’t give you all the answers, Liv,” I tell her, the sorrow evident in my words. “I’m sorry. If I could, I would, but I just can’t… not yet, at least. I know that it’s asking a lot, but can you just trust me on this?”
She’s silent for a moment, staring back at me like she doesn’t know what to say. “Okay,” she says softly, completely catching me by surprise. “I have no reason not to trust you. That’s one thing you’ve done right.”
Another knife to the chest.
“Give me a chance to be your friend?”
She stares at me, chewing on the inside of her cheek as she considers my question. It feels like an eternity, waiting for some kind of a response from her. I don’t care if she throws it in my face and attempts to reject me. She knows I won’t leave it at that. My sister may have initiated this, but now I’m just rolling along with it script-free.
“Fine,” she agrees with a slight hesitation in her voice. “I don’t know what you mean by friends, but sure. We’re friends now, Sterling.”
There’s something off about her. A coldness that is a stark contrast from her normal warmth. Perhaps she’s just giving me a taste of my own medicine. She’s letting me feel the same frigid air she’s felt radiating from me whenever we’re in close proximity to one another.
Her lips part as if she’s going to say something else, but they quickly close and she turns away from me. I watch her lift one foot to take a step away, but I can’t let that happen. Reaching out, I grab her wrist, attempting to stop her.
And it works.
Olivia stops, mid-step, and turns back to look at me. Her eyes look down to my hand wrapped around her wrist before her gaze meets mine. There are so many lingering questions but she swallows them all down. Which is another new thing for Olivia. Usually the questions flow from her like a goddamn river. I know that I should let go, but I like the way her skin feels beneath my palm.
Soft and warm, just like the Olivia I know she’s hiding from me right now.
I can feel her pulse beneath my fingertips and I can’t help but smile. It isn’t a flashing grin, but the corners of my lips lift slightly. Holding on to her gaze, I stare directly at her.
“I want to show you around town tonight.”
Olivia frowns slightly. “I have plans already.”
“Cancel them.”
Her eyebrows tug together. “I can’t just cancel them on short notice. That’s not how I am and it’s rude.”
“Sure you can. Do it. I’ll pick you up around six and we can go explore the city.”
Olivia’s lips part and I release her wrist, immediately feeling her absence as I turn around and begin to walk back down the stairs. I know the longer I stay, the more she’s going to try and fight me on this. She should know better; she knows I get what I want. And what I want with her is a chance to show her that I can be her friend.
“Sterling, I can’t,” she calls out after me.
I don’t turn back around to look at her as I head back toward the front door of the building. “Six o’clock, Olivia,” I tell her over my shoulder. “Be ready.”
Without giving her the chance to say anything else, I head through the door and slip back into the cold morning air.
I don’t give a fuck who she has plans with already.
Because she has plans with me instead now.
