“Where are we going?” Ruby asked for what felt like the millionth time.
I didn’t want to tell her. She’d be mad. But I didn’t know what else to do. This was a solution, and once she graduated high school, things could change.
I hoped.
“You’ll see,” I said more calmly than I felt.
When I pulled onto the street, Ruby could see him. He was waiting outside his house, hovering impatiently for our arrival.
“Kenzie, no! You said we would never come back here. You can’t be serious.” She was yelling everything I felt.
I pulled into the driveway and stopped the car. Mac was opening my car door before I had a chance to say anything to Ruby.
“There they are!”
I flinched.
“Yes, we’re here,” I admitted.
“Well, come on inside. Ruby, you too, now. Come on in.” Mac excitedly bustled us in.
He seemed really different ever since I confessed that I needed his help. He was back to being that kind father figure we had needed when our parents died.
He held the door open for us. “You’ve been here before. The living room is to your left. Ruby, why don’t you have a seat there on the couch?”
Ruby stood, hugging herself. I didn’t blame her. Mac’s house had a funny smell to it.
“Kenzie, sit. I’ll go get us some refreshments. We have a lot to talk about.”
He left us alone in the living room.
Ruby spun on me. “What are we doing here, Kenzie?”
“I’ve been out of work for over a month. I barely had enough money to pay rent. I don’t know how I’ll be able to pay for rent and food in a couple of weeks. He said he’d take care of us. You’ll have your own room.”
“I already have my own room,” she yelled, throwing her arms wide.
“It’s not like you’re moving in until after the wedding,” Mac said, appearing as if out of nowhere with a tray of glasses and pitcher of lemonade like a little old lady from a TV show.
My stomach dropped. It felt like I was going to throw up. I swallowed hard and forced myself to breathe through my nose.
Ruby went pale.
“Wedding?”
“You didn’t tell her, Kenzie?” Mac asked. That tone of resentment and disapproval I heard in his voice for the past several years creeped in around the edges of his fake good-natured mood.
I knew it was fake. Mac wasn’t that good of an actor. But I appreciated him for trying. At least for Ruby’s sake.
“I haven’t had a chance to tell her yet, Mac. I thought you would want to tell her with me,” I said.
I couldn’t smile as I looked at him. I didn’t feel like it. This didn’t feel good. I couldn’t help being convinced I was making a mistake, committing myself to some kind of prison.
“Isn’t Mac’s house nice? Do you remember how big the back yard is? We used to come here all the time.” I was talking nonsense, trying to sell Ruby on a concept I didn’t fully believe in.
“Kenzie, why don’t you go into the kitchen and get dinner started? I know how eager you are to make this your home and feel comfortable here,” Mac directed. “Ruby and I can chat.”
I nodded. I was numb, had been for the past week or more since I approached Mac to help us out. I was desperate, and he had only two stipulations. He’d help. He’d put a roof over our heads and food on our table, but we would live with him. And I’d marry him. I couldn’t see another way out.
Ruby was on my heels as I got up to leave the room.
“Don’t leave me alone with him.”
I grabbed her hand and squeezed. I knew how she felt. This wasn’t right.
I should take her right now and leave. We could live in my car. I could stand on a corner with a cardboard sign. There were other options. But I couldn’t. I was too tired. I was defeated.
Mac was on his feet. “Fine, we’ll all go into the kitchen, if that’s what you want.”
“Come on,” I said gently.
My stomach lurched again when I saw the kitchen. It wasn’t even clean.
“I thought you invited us over for dinner?” Ruby said sharply. “So why is Kenzie the one cooking?”
“Because in my house, women cook. As the woman of the house, that will be Kenzie’s responsibility,” Mac said.
“Woman of the house?” Ruby asked.
With her yelling, and seeing the kitchen like this, I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t change my mind now.
“Of course. I thought you were smart. You haven’t figured it out yet?” Mac sneered at her.
“Hey, she is smart, don’t talk to her like that,” I snapped.
Mac turned on me, and then his facial expression changed from a sharp glare to his fake smile.
“Of course, this is all so sudden. And we haven’t officially announced anything.” He stepped in close to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulder and squeezed uncomfortably tight. “Ruby, you should know that your sister, Kenzie, and I are getting married.”
Ruby went pale and started shaking her head.
“You can’t. You don’t love him,” she said. Her lower lip quivered, and tears rimmed her eyes.
I stared at her. Mac gave my shoulder another squeeze. He grimaced at me when I turned my attention to him.
“That’ll come in time,” he said.
I doubted it. I didn’t love him. I could barely tolerate being in his presence. I was doing this for Ruby. “Mac has good insurance, and I’ll only have to get a part-time job since I’ll have this house to take care of. You’ll be able to have sleepovers.”
“Now, hold on there, Kenzie. We haven’t discussed anything about that. I don’t want this place to be party central for all the out-of-control teenagers of Flat Rock.”
“Ruby and her friends are hardly out of control.” I chuckled, trying to elevate the mood, even just a little.
“You aren’t going to want all those kids around once the baby comes—”
“Baby?” Ruby yelled, cutting Mac off.
Mac still had a grip on me, and I couldn’t stop him when he placed his hand spread across my stomach and jiggled it. “You’re gonna have a little brother or sister,” he said.
Niece or nephew. Mac knew Ruby was my sister and I was just her guardian. He wasn’t going to be her father or anything like that. He didn’t seem to realize or care that the baby I carried wasn’t his.
“No, you can’t do this to me! I won’t let you do this.”
Ruby rushed past us and ran out the door.
I turned to run after her, but Mac held me with a vice grip.
“I have to go after her,” I complained.
“Let her go. She’ll calm down after an hour or two. You and I need to talk.”
He was a lot stronger than I ever gave him credit for. He turned me so I was pressed against his chest. I braced with my hands at his shoulders and my arms squished between us. His breath was hot and smelled like his lunch. By ‘talk’, he clearly didn’t mean have a conversation.
I squirmed. I wanted to escape like Ruby had.
Mac’s lips came at me like starving, rancid leeches. His lips were thin and slimy looking.
“I’m gonna be sick.” I shoved, and he let go. I ran to the sink and turned on the water as I retched up the sparse contents of my stomach.
“Are you still throwing up? How long is that morning sickness supposed to last? I can’t say I like it when you do that.”
I rinsed out my mouth with cool water and then wiped my lips on the back of my hand. “I don’t like it either. I don’t know how long it’s supposed to last. It’s worse when I’m nervous,” I told him.
“Don’t tell me you’re nervous about being with me. You’ve already gone and gotten yourself pregnant. A little fooling around won’t hurt you or the baby,” he said.
“A little fooling around is what got me into this position. I think you, of all people, would respect my decision to wait until we’re married. I’ve made one mistake, clearly. Let me start my life with you properly,” I said.
I cringed inwardly with every word. Start my life with him? I needed to throw up again. I turned the water on and retched a second time. This time, I found the cardboard tube of sprinkle-on cleaner under the sink and gave it a good scrub-down.
“Do you want a beer or something?” I asked, trying to change the subject, deflecting his attention. “I should start dinner.”
I didn’t move. I would have to walk past him to get to the refrigerator. I felt safer close to the sink for some reason.
Mac growled and stomped across the kitchen, grabbing me by my upper arms. He shoved his mouth against mine.
I struggled and tried to push against him. But he wouldn’t stop, he didn’t relent. I pressed my mouth closed, tightly pursing my lips together. I sucked them into my mouth and bit down, using my teeth and jaws like a clamp. His tongue searched and pushed against my face.
I had to get away. This whole thing was a horrible mistake. I couldn’t get him to let go. I started kicking. My feet hit his shins, to no avail. Finally, I drew up my knee, hard.
Mac let go of me as air escaped his lungs, and he bent double, cupping his groin. I shoved him out of the way.
“This isn’t happening. I made a mistake. I can’t do this. I won’t do this!” I yelled as I grabbed my purse. I paused to look at him still doubled over in the kitchen. I opened my mouth to say I was sorry, but I wasn’t. I wasn’t sorry I changed my mind, and I wasn’t sorry I defended myself. I ran.
