Another Friday night.
Another game.
Although our first game was kind of a gimme, this one is not. We’ll be playing the team we beat last year for the district title, and there’s been a lot of speculation as to whether or not I still have what it takes.
Last week, I didn’t have to try very hard. My offensive line held the other team, not giving up a single sack, and I just dropped back and launched the ball. We were up by twenty-eight points before the end of the second quarter, so most of the starters sat out the whole second half.
The reporters are saying that was a mistake.
We’re going to have to prove them wrong.
“I saw the papers this morning,” Lacey says. She’s wearing her cute little cheerleading outfit, straddling me on my bed. Very quickly, she has her top and bra off. “You’re lucky I’m here—”
The room to my door flies open, and my little brother is standing there, staring at Lacey’s naked chest, his eyes wide but a fat smile taking over his face.
Lacey rolls off me, lying flat on the bed to cover herself.
I get up and ask Ryder what he wants.
“I, uh … I forget.”
He’s in the eighth grade, and although I heard him talking with his friends about some over-the-shirt action with some girl during Seven Minutes in Heaven, I’m pretty sure he’s never seen boobs up close and personal before.
Probably will run off and tell his friends.
“Then, I’m busy,” I say nicely but still fling the door shut in his face and then lock it.
“That was mortifying,” Lacey says.
“Maybe you shouldn’t attack me the second you walk in the room,” I tease. “Or at least lock the door first.”
She gives me a sexy smirk in response and reaches for my belt buckle. She hasn’t said she loves me since last week, and she hasn’t brought up the whole commitment thing either.
“Sadly, you should probably put your clothes back on. My brother is a tattletale, and I expect my mom will be knocking on my door any minute.”
“Oh, we don’t want that. She likes me. At least, I think she likes me.”
“I like you more,” I say.
But I immediately regret it when she goes, “Oh, Chase. I know it’s not an I love you, but”—she tosses her arms around me—“it means a lot.”
“It means a lot that I like you more than my mother does?” Because I’m like, What?
She shakes her head at me. “You’re impossible.”
“I know,” I tell her, pulling her top back over her head and then leaning in to kiss her. “I’m sorry.”
“You’re lucky you’re so damn cute.” She takes my cheeks between her hands and deepens the kiss. “I do have one thing to tell you.”
“What’s that?”
“This year, if you want me to be your date for Homecoming, you’re going to have to ask me. Properly.”
“By properly, I assume you mean, publicly?” I let out a shaky breath as the day Hunter Lansford asked Dani comes rushing back to my brain.
“You bet I do. You don’t want a commitment? That’s cool. Last year, I asked you, but I won’t do it again. And if someone else asks me first, I just might say yes.”
I put my head down, trying to steady my breathing, which she must take as me being upset about what she said.
“Everyone thinks we’re the perfect couple, Chase, but we’re not even a couple.”
“We sort of are,” I offer. “It’s not like I’m with anyone else.”
She rolls her eyes and pulls me back into a hug. “What am I even going to do with you?”
“I don’t know,” I say honestly. “But I need to get going. Coach wants us there early tonight.”
“Actually, I do know what I’m going to do. I’ll be there. Cheering for you. Like always.”
“Thank you,” I tell her, walking her out to her car. “That means a lot to me.”
“Roses,” she says.
“What?”
“Roses always win you a homecoming date,” she says before driving off.
Damon is standing by my truck, waiting for me. But I look past him to a certain car in his driveway.
“Is your sister home?” I ask, but what I want to do is run into their house immediately and tell Dani how much I’ve missed seeing her every day and how I look out my window at night, hoping to catch a glimpse of her and then realize she’s gone. How I wish I could see that golden hair that looks like sunshine. Although what I really want would be for her to see me, throw herself in my arms, and beg me to love her again.
“Yeah. I didn’t know she was coming home this weekend. Is it for your birthday?”
“I don’t know. We haven’t talked much.”
I don’t tell him that we sort of made up, talking on the phone while she was going through rush, but since she pledged, it’s only been a few random texts. I tell myself that she’s just busy. Getting used to being at a new school, meeting new people, but it bothers me that she hasn’t called once since. It already feels like she’s moved on without me. Again.
“BS,” he says.
I say what I’m thinking, “Exactly.” It is bullshit. But I know he’s referring to Before That Summer.
“It really does suck,” he says, hopping into my truck. “At least we didn’t let it screw up our friendship.”
“No way. Can’t mess up a lifetime of on-the-field chemistry.”
“Lots of scouts are coming to the game tonight. More than usual,” Damon says. “I overheard the coaching staff discussing it.”
“Well, it’s a pretty big game. At least for this early in the season.”
“Reporters, too.”
“Does it sometimes seem kinda crazy to you, how much attention we get?” I ask him.
“We’re Shock and Awe, baby!” he yells out.
Shock and Awe are sort of my and Damon’s nicknames in the press. It started when a skeptical local reporter, who thought we were only getting hype because of Damon’s last name, came to see one of our games. He wrote later that he was shocked at my throwing technique and accuracy and awed by Damon’s agility and ability to catch pretty much anything thrown his way.
“Well, I’m sure the fact that your last name is Diamond doesn’t hurt either,” I tease.
“You nervous?” he asks me.
“About the scouts? Not really.” I start the car and pull out of the driveway.
“About the game?” Damon asks.
I shake my head. “No, not at all.”
“Me neither. We’re just gonna go out and do what we do.”
I turn and give him a high five. “Score.”
“Before and after the game,” Damon says with a grin.
“Who is it tonight?”
“I’m not sure. I’ve got, like, three girls coming over. Figured we’d swim or hot tub or something.”
“Sounds fun.”
“Really? Because if you are done with Lacey, we could have a lot of fun. I know she’s laid off on the commitment thing, but she’s getting a bit possessive, don’t you think?”
“She knows we are not in a committed relationship. I’ve been really honest with her about that.”
“But yet she’s over all the time, usually in your bedroom.”
“Well,” I say with a laugh, “she’s persistent.”
“And hot,” Damon says. “One of the hottest girls at school, if you ask me.”
“You think so?”
“Definitely. Do you not? Is there someone else you’ve got your eye on? I can make it happen tonight.”
I think about the car in his driveway.
He punches me. “Shit. You didn’t say no. Are you really gonna have fun? Like, party, hook up? Lots of girls would be in line. Or would be, if it wasn’t for Lacey always clinging to you at school.”
“And she comes over before every game.”
Damon gives me another punch in the shoulder. “Maybe you should save that sexual energy for the game—get the testosterone flowing, beast mode, ya know?”
“If I were a defensive player, I might agree, but a little pregame—” I laugh. “She seems to think she’s the reason I play so well. Thinks a little fun before the game calms me down.”
“You’ve got her fooled. You’ve been cool as a cucumber under pressure since we were kids. Well, no reason to tell her that. She good at it?” he asks.
“Something like that,” I mutter.
“Sweet. What do you say, after your birthday party tomorrow night, we go out to the farm? They’re gonna have a DJ, I heard.”
The farm is a place out in the country. Twenty acres of privacy with a decked-out backyard—firepits, pool, and a big screened porch that is the size of some houses and set up to entertain. Fortunately for us, the kid’s parents are out of town a lot. He’s got a massive field hidden from the road, where everyone can park, and there are no neighbors close enough to complain about the noise.
“Maybe,” I say noncommittally, Dani still in the back of my mind.
“We could also go to a club. Take Dad’s Ferrari. Use our fake IDs.”
“You know I won’t use a fake ID,” I tell him. “Or drink at a club. So, why bother?”
“Because Diamond on the plates opens a lot of doors,” Damon says and then grins at me. “You should be taking advantage of all of it with me.”
When we get to school, Lacey is waiting for me in the parking lot even though I just saw her.
“Tell her no after-game fun,” Damon says. “You’re mine tonight.”
“I never have fun after a game. You know I always go straight home.”
But what Damon doesn’t know is the reason why. How, for me, the best part of a game was after it. When it didn’t matter how I’d played because I knew Dani would order pizza, meet the driver out front, and then sneak to my room with it. I remember how we would lie there and talk for hours about everything and nothing at all.
The second I get out of my truck, Lacey plants a kiss on my lips, waking me from my thoughts. “You must be thinking hard about the game. In the zone already?”
“Something like that,” I tell her.
Code red sexy.
Devaney
The lights are on at the stadium, the band is playing, and the cheerleaders are yelling. It’s weird, not being out there on the field, lined up with my pom-poms, anxiously awaiting the team’s big entrance onto the field to start the game.
Instead, I’m seated in front of an open window, in a skybox filled with family and friends.
My dad sits down next to me. “How did you think they looked in warm-ups?”
“Chase’s arm looks strong, and he seems to have a slightly longer follow-through. Has he been working on that?”
“Good eye,” Dad says. “He has.”
“And although Damon caught everything thrown to him, he seemed a little slow on his takeoff. Is his ankle still bothering him?”
“A bit.” Dad shakes his head. “I told him not to goof around on the wakeboard, but he didn’t listen.”
“Does he ever?” I laugh.
“The two of you got that from me.” He laughs. “Don’t tell Jennifer.”
“I’m pretty sure she already knows. But be quiet. She’s headed this way.”
Actually, they all are. The three mother figures in my life. Chase’s mom and Jennifer, who are followed into the suite by my mother and her husband, Van.
“It’s good to have you back home, Devaney,” my mother says, wrapping me in stiff arms.
But, hey, at least she’s trying. Van, on the other hand, hugs you like he means it.
“Thanks, Mom.”
“I missed you. Gosh, you look so grown-up. How did that happen? You’ve been at college for just a few weeks.”
I shrug, looking between my mom, Jennifer, and Jadyn. Except for the player’s number, all three are decked out in matching blinged-out jerseys, but they wear them so differently. Mom’s hair is still softly curled, but I can tell she’s gone back to being a fan of hair spray. Her makeup is on point, and she’s wearing a bold red lip color. Paired with the jersey are white linen capris, silver wedges, and the massive diamond studs Dad bought for her when he won his first Super Bowl. It’s one of my earliest memories. I was only three at the time, but I do remember confetti raining down on us and the roar of the crowd.
Jennifer—the youngest of the three women—has her hair straightened and is wearing a cute pair of wide-legged jeans with glittery high-top tennis shoes.
Jadyn has on fringed jean shorts with a pair of beaded sandals, her blonde hair in a messy braid. The braid, I know, will be undone and redone numerous times during the game—a nervous habit that seems to calm her. Her makeup is natural, and if you only took a quick glance, you might mistake her for a student.
My mother looks me over again. “What did you do to your shirt?” Her tone sounds much like her old judgmental self.
“Uh …”
She puts out her hand. “I mean, I love it. You look adorable.”
“Thanks,” I say to her. “Haley told me that I couldn’t wear a shirt just like our moms.”
“No, I don’t suppose you could,” my mom says with a laugh that sounds genuine.
“So, she snipped off the sleeves, cut the hem so it skimmed just above the waist, and added slits up the sides.”
“Very fashionable and creative,” Mom says, which nearly causes me to drop dead. Because it sounds like she really has changed. “I love how your black bralette shows through the shirt and, of course, the studded Jimmy Choo boots make it all the more special.”
One thing my mom and I do share is a love of good shoes.
“Don’t forget the hair and makeup,” Jennifer tells her, noting my messy pony and eyes that are heavy on black eyeliner and mascara.
“Definitely can’t forget that,” Jadyn teases.
And it’s kind of crazy. Witnessing how they are all getting along. It used to be that my mom and Richard would sit in one corner, Mom acting like she was above it all somehow. But tonight, she’s joking with Jennifer. And Van is sneaking sips from a flask with Phillip.
“Crazy how things change, isn’t it?” my dad says to me.
“It certainly is.”
Our team wins, and after the game, we all make our way down to the field, where I find myself congratulating Chase on a good game. He rushed for over one hundred fifty yards and threw for over three hundred. With stats like that, you’d think we won the game easily, but it was a close battle with a final score of 42-39.
“You look good, wearing my last name,” he says to me, his fingers grazing my exposed skin as he flicks the edge of my shirt. His helmet is swinging from one hand, his hair wet with sweat, his shoulder pads giving bulk to his tall frame.
Admit it, Dani. He looks sexy. Freaking four-alarm, code red sexy.
I laugh internally. In high school, we judged boys on their fire scale.
My eyes trail down Chase’s chest and dare to go lower.
“Surprised you didn’t wear your brother’s number,” he continues.
I lay my hand on the number one—his number—that is blazed across my chest. “I wore yours because—”
I’m interrupted when a perky cheerleader bounces up to him, throws her arms around his neck, and kisses him. “Baby, what a great game you had!”
“Hey, Lacey,” I say to her as she wraps her hand around Chase’s bicep. We cheered together for years, both on a competitive squad and in school. “The cheer team looked great out there. I knew you’d make a great captain. And I love the new uniforms.”
Lacey keeps hanging on to Chase.
Earlier, before the game, I saw them kiss. Chase’s hands were inappropriately low on her skirt, and her hips were pushed against his, so the fact that his arm is stiff at her waist tells me he’s uncomfortable right now.
And it’s pretty obvious that Lacey is over here, marking her territory. I know I would if I were her.
“That jersey is so cute and sparkly. Wait, that’s Chase’s number, not Damon’s. Why are you wearing that?” she asks pointedly, her hand now firmly placed across the number on Chase’s chest.
“His mom gave it to me,” I say.
“So cute.” She looks up at Chase. “I’ll have to ask your mom to get me one!”
Over my dead body, is the first thought that comes to mind.
“Well, good to see you, Dani,” Lacey says, trying to get rid of me. “Hope college is going well. Bet you’ve met all sorts of hot guys.” Then she turns to Chase and whispers loudly enough for me to hear, “We need to celebrate your big victory tonight.” She kisses him with way too much tongue and skips away.
I roll my eyes. I can’t even stop myself.
“Will I get to see you tonight?” Chase asks, acting like that train wreck didn’t just occur in front of us.
“Yeah, I’ll be around.”
“Going to any parties tonight?” he asks.
“Nah, plenty of parties at college.”
“We should hang out while you’re home, Dani. It’s been a long time. The hug, before you left for college—well, it made me realize how much I miss you. I really do hope we can be friends again someday.”
“Yeah, me, too,” I say wistfully.
“I suppose I’d better go hit the showers.” He starts to leave, but then he turns back around and says, “Regardless of what Lacey just said, nothing has changed. You know I never go out after a game.” He gives me a wink. The kind he gave me when we were best friends.
And that wink feels more intimate than if he’d kissed me in front of everyone.
From out of nowhere, Chase’s dad comes racing across the field, grabs Chase’s mom, and tackles her to the ground. But just when I think he’s got her down, Jadyn somehow flips him over, pins him to the ground, and kisses him.
“Seems like they’ve done that a few times before,” I say with a laugh.
“It’s something we would have done as kids,” Chase says.
“I’m pretty sure we did. But I don’t think I ever got kissed.” I let out a dreamy sigh. “That’s what I want. That sort of relationship—where you have fun together, even when you’re old.”
“They’re crazy,” Chase says.
“Crazy in love still, I think,” I say to him.
“Well, that’s what happens when you marry your best friend,” he counters. He doesn’t say, Hint, hint, but sort of implies it by the way he looks at me.
Either way, I know exactly what I’ll be doing tonight.
And I’m pretty sure I was just invited.
A cute boy.
Devaney
I do what I used to do when we were kids—feign exhaustion and then go up to my room. Once the babies are tucked in and everything is quiet, I order pizza.
I consider changing, but Chase said he liked seeing his number on me. And I know guys kind of have a thing about that. A girl wearing his number.
Chase said he wants us to be friends again. And I want that more than anything. I miss him desperately. That summer in the Ozarks changed everything for us. Not only did I lose my new love, but I also lost my friend.
And honestly, that hurt worse.
I leave my house, sit on the front porch, and wait for the delivery. Once the driver drops my order off, I’m happy to discover that the code on the Mackenzies’ front door hasn’t changed, so I am able to let myself in and sneak up to Chase’s room. His lights are off, as usual, so everyone thinks he’s asleep.
“I smell pizza,” he says, lighting up his phone for just a moment and allowing me a view of him.
He’s lying on his bed, his long form stretched out and covered by only a pair of athletic shorts. Most of his body is sheathed in shadows, making his cheekbones look more chiseled, his muscles more defined.
“Is that okay?” I ask, suddenly feeling nervous. “The way you said you never go out, I thought maybe this would be okay.”
“Pizza is always okay,” he says happily, standing up.
He takes the boxes from me and sets them on his desk, then pulls me into his arms and just holds me. He takes in a deep breath, taking in my scent. I’ve known him long enough to know exactly what he’s doing.
But then he says, “Gosh, that pizza smells good.”
I roll my eyes at my stupidity. He has a girlfriend. He’s smelling the food. Not you.
“Let’s eat then,” I offer.
“You smell good, too, Dani. I can’t stress enough how much I’ve missed you. Missed talking. Missed being friends. Missed nights like these.”
He lets go of me, and we resume our old habit. He takes the blanket off the end of his bed and spreads it out on the floor. I set the pizza boxes on top of it.
“Wait,” he says. “I want to go get something.”
A few moments later, he’s back in his room, setting up a two-man pop-up tent.
“Well, this is something new,” I say with a laugh.
“I’d like to be able to see your face, Dani. But your brother isn’t home yet, and if Lacey drove by and saw a light on in my room—anyway, pick up the boxes and the blanket. I have a plan.”
I do as he asked and watch as he puts the tent down where we were just sitting, and then he covers the top of it with his heavy quilt bedspread. He goes out into the hall and comes back with more blankets from the linen closet then he spreads those out on the floor inside the tent and tosses all his pillows in for good measure.
“Okay,” he says. “You get inside.”
I take the pizza boxes with me, set them on the ground, and then lean back on a pillow.
Chase reaches inside and hands me a small battery-powered lantern. “No candles for us,” he teases, referring to the night in the Ozarks when we were taking a romantic bath together and accidentally lit a robe on fire. “Turn it on. I want to see if I can see the light.”
He closes me inside the tent, and a few moments later, he’s in here with me, his big form filling the space.
“It’s perfect,” he says.
“It’s cute,” I tell him.
“You always said I was cute,” he counters.
“You always were a cute boy.”
“And now?”
“I think you already know that you are very handsome. If nothing else, your little modeling side gig ought to have reinforced that notion. You don’t need me to tell you.”
He grins at me and then motions toward the pizza. “You ordered more than you used to.”
“That’s because you’re bigger than you used to be,” I tease.
I open the boxes, and we each take a piece in our hands and then look at each other, both seeming to remember what we used to do next and wondering if we should.
I decide to go for it.
I lean in, give him a peck on the lips, and say, “You had a good game tonight, Chase.” I hold my piece of pizza up in the air.
He grins at me, his white teeth practically sparkling in the dim light, as we touch our pieces together in a toast. “To many more,” he says.
We each take our first bite to seal the deal.
“We were silly when we were kids, huh?” I say while we eat.
I figured Chase would inhale the pizza like he used to, but I also know this would totally be considered a cheat meal for him. He and my brother follow a pretty strict diet regime. Actually, it’s one my dad created.
“I don’t know about silly,” he says seriously. “I mean, this tradition is pretty cool, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, I guess it is.”
“What were you thinking, you know, when you first started it? That first time you brought me pizza.”
“Honestly,” I say, rolling my eyes, “it was maybe slightly created out of jealousy.”
“Really?” he says, a huge smile on his face. “Do tell.”
“Remember Molly Baker?”
“Oh yeah.”
“You must remember how she crushed on you then. Do you also remember how she invited you out for pizza after your game? On a school night, I might add, because in middle school, your games were on Tuesdays.”
“And you were against my going out for pizza on a school night?”
“No.” I grin. “I was against you having anything to do with Molly. It was also my way of showing you that no matter how much of a hotshot quarterback you became, you’d never be too cool to eat pizza. With me. On the floor.”
“We always kissed as kids, but that night, you gave me what I would consider one of my first real kisses. Or maybe it was that I was old enough that my body reacted differently to it.”
My eyes get huge. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
“That it made me hard? Yes. That’s what I’m saying.”
“Ohmigosh, Chase,” I say, giggling.
He reaches over and covers my mouth with his hand so that I don’t wake anyone up.
“Don’t laugh at me. I was both thrilled and slightly mortified.” His face is close to mine, our gazes locked. “I think I was always in love with you, but that kiss, well, it did it for me.”
I notice his eyes crinkle up on the sides—a sure sign that he’s full-on grinning right now.
I reach my arm out and push his shoulder with my palm. He doesn’t budge. Nothing on him moves, except his eyebrows, which rise, mocking me in challenge.
I roll my eyes at him again. “I get it—you’re a big senior stud now, so I can’t push you around anymore. Eat your damn pizza.”
We both eat.
Now in a comfortable silence.
Finally, he breaks it. “So, how is college? I didn’t get a chance to tell you because you’ve been so busy since you pledged, but Mom was excited—actually, I’m lying. My mother was ecstatic when she heard the news. Because—not only is she your aunt, but she’s also now your sister.”
“Hmm, if she were my sister, what would that make you?”
“Your lover,” he says with a grin.
“That makes no sense.”
He gives me an adorable shrug. “Can’t help a guy for trying.”
“I thought this was about us being friends again.”
“Friends who kiss, I think is a better term. That’s what we were before.”
“Are you saying you want to kiss me, Chase?”
“I’m just saying, if we are really going back to that time, we did in fact kiss.”
“You didn’t answer the question.”
“It doesn’t require an answer yet,” he says cryptically even though I wish he would just grab my face and go for it. “We have a lot of catching up to do first.”
“Maybe I want an answer now.”
“There’s plenty of time for that,” he says. “Tell me how much you love college.”
“Well, I wouldn’t say I love it quite yet.”
Even though I got to see Chase briefly at Nebraska’s home opener, with all the stuff going on at the sorority house, I didn’t spend more than a few minutes in the skybox with the family, so we didn’t have a chance to really talk.
I fill him in on everything that’s gone on. The parties, mixers, getting to know all the girls. How I’ve made friends but how the friendships are still so new that it’s hard to know how they will play out.
“So, basically, college is good, but I miss my family and my room,” I tell him.
“And I miss you in your room,” he says. “I kept my curtains shut after you left. I couldn’t imagine looking over there and not seeing you. Knowing that you’d never really be there again.”
“Oh, Chase, but that means you didn’t see—”
“I finally opened them before my game last week,” he states, starting to look agitated.
“And how did you feel when you saw it? And do you know where it went?”
“I punched the window frame. It pissed me off, honestly.”
I reach out and run my hand down his arm. “It wasn’t supposed to. You wrote dream for me, and it really helped me calm down. I just thought the cupcake might remind you of your dreams, you know, as you started school and your senior year of football.”
“Which would be great, except the cupcake meant more than that, Dani. And you know it. It wasn’t just my dream or your dream; it was our dream. Together. As a couple. And I’m the one who took the photo. I didn’t think you’d want anyone else to see it.”
But all I can think is that he didn’t want Lacey to look out his window, see it, and ask him about it. Of course, she was one of the cheerleaders watching the day Hunter asked me to Homecoming, so she knows we had what my friends called a summer fling. I want to ask him what he did with the photo because I have a feeling, based on his attitude toward it, he threw it in the trash.
I decide to leave well enough alone and change subjects. “And how has school been for you? It’s your senior year. That’s a big deal.”
“Do you want to go sit in the hot tub?” he says suddenly.
“I don’t have a swimsuit on.”
He shrugs.
“Sure. Why not?”
“It’s a nice night,” he says. “And this tent is feeling a little small.”
I know what he means. Although things are going better than I thought they would, it’s clear that certain subjects are off-limits.
He grabs a couple of towels, and we quietly make our way outside and into the hot tub. The sky is dark, and the stars are hidden by a thick cloud cover.
I decide to just go for it the second we get in the tub and ask what I really want to know. “Tell me about you and Lacey. You’ve been dating awhile.”
“Yeah, since she asked me to Homecoming last year. Um, it’s going okay.”
“I’m sure you’re having sex.”
He lets out a long sigh. “Damon tells me I’m honest to a fault, but I’ve been lying to Lacey. Not about how I feel. I’ve been very straightforward with her about that. She wants us to be official, but I always say no. That I don’t have time for a serious relationship. The other day, she finally said she doesn’t care anymore—which, really, if my sister accepted that from a guy, I’d be pissed.”
“You’re the quarterback, Chase. She’s the head cheerleader. Maybe it’s more about the status. And based on the photos I see of when you and my brother go to the farm, it’s never been exclusive. So, you’re like my brother? Sleeping around?”
“The pictures would indicate that, wouldn’t they?” he says thoughtfully.
“Uh, yeah. You’ve got Lacey draped around you all week and a million different girls when you’re out with my brother.”
“And what about you?”
“I’m not dating anyone right now.”
“First of all, just because it appears that I’m with a lot of girls, it doesn’t mean that I am. You, of all people, should know that I’m not really that kind of guy. And the reason I can’t commit to Lacey is not because of football. It’s because I’m not in love with her. Not the way I loved you anyway. So, even though she recently told me that she loves me, I can’t say it back or commit to her in that way.”
The way I loved you.
“You said something when you were going through rush, about your sorority,” he says, changing the subject. “About how you were tired of the high school game. That you chose a sorority where you felt you could be an individual. I’m proud of you, regarding that. Just so you know.”
“Thank you,” I say as his phone buzzes.
He pulls it off the edge of the tub and reads it.
“Crap. That’s Damon. He, Haley, and a bunch of people are coming over to get in the hot tub. He wanted to know if I was asleep yet.” We hear cars out front. “Shit. They’re already here.”
“Do you not want them to see us together?” I ask, suddenly feeling like the other woman.
He rolls his eyes as he gets out of the tub and extends his hand to me. “Hurry.”
I get out and wrap up in a towel. Chase takes my hand, and we run toward the lake. We hit the dock, running past his family’s ski boat to my dad’s new pontoon. Chase somehow knows where the keys are hidden, and he quickly turns the boat on, keeping the lights off, and slowly backs out of the dock and out into the lake. Once we’re around the corner and we can’t be seen from our backyards, he flips on the lights and guns it all the way to the other side.
“We barely made it out in time,” he says, sounding just a little breathless as he shuts off the motor and then lowers the anchor.
The way his voice sounds reminds me of hot summer nights spent tangled up in the sheets with him.
He’s near the back of the boat, and I’m drawn in his direction, needing to know something with all my heart. I stand close to him, so close that our bodies are nearly touching.
Soulful music is playing softly in the background. I always hate when my dad plays it, but the track fits this moment so perfectly that I’m going to have to put it on my playlist for when I go back to school.
All of a sudden, I don’t want to go back.
And I don’t want to be friends with Chase again.
“When I was going through rush, I thought a lot about you,” I confess. “The first few days, you are being judged on paper—your accomplishments, grades, letters of recommendation. I kept wondering when it was just going to be about me.”
Serious about your abs.
Chase
We’re standing on a boat in the middle of the lake in near-complete darkness. My heart is beating wildly, being this close to her.
I know this is supposed to be about us being friends again.
And I’m trying.
I really am.
I take her hand in mine, pretending it’s a friendly gesture, and hold it gently, just so I can touch her. Feel that connection. See if it’s still there.
“You, we, us being together that summer was something I did for me, Chase,” she continues. “We were in this wonderful bubble, where there was no pressure. No expectations. Do you really think we’ll be able to be friends again?”
“I hope so.”
She lets go of my hand, physically backing away, and I feel like I’ve lost her again, but then one of her fingers touches my chest. She’s got a playful grin on her face when the finger starts creeping downward. “So, you’ve been working out, huh?”
“That sounds like a pickup line because you know I work out all the time.” I squint my eyes at her and smile. “Are you trying to pick me up, Dani?”
“I haven’t decided yet,” she sasses back.
And I love it. Might as well play along, see where this goes.
“You done growing yet? I heard my brother is officially taller than you now.”
“I’m probably about done. But as usual, I work out with both the team as well as your brother and our dads. I’ve put on twenty pounds of muscle since last season, so I guess it depends on what kind of growing you’re referring to.”
Her hand slides down further, taunting me. “I can see that. And these abs. Damn, Chase.”
“Oh, now, you’re just teasing me.” I laugh, assuming she’s messing with me.
And I’m cool with that.
“I’m actually very serious about your abs, Chase. Hard not to be when you’re always flaunting them in my face.”
“When do I do that?”
She rolls her eyes. “Come on. You know my window is right across from yours, and somehow, for, like, the past two years, you always happen to be facing it when you take your shirt off?”
“Are you saying you were creeping on me?”
“Maybe. Although get this. I heard Jennifer found empty condom wrappers in Damon’s jeans when she was doing the laundry, and Dad was proud. He even sees me kissing a boy, and he freaks.”
“You’re his little girl, no matter how well you’ve grown up.” Two can play this game. Whatever it is.
“You think I’ve grown up well?” she asks, hand on her hip, almost in challenge.
“Why do you think I’m always looking at your window?”
“Oh, now, the truth comes out. Just hoping to catch a glimpse?”
“For sure. So, you said you aren’t dating anyone at college. Does that mean you are just partying and hooking up?”
“Partying a little, yeah. Hooking up, not so much.”
“I figured every guy there would want you,” I say seriously.
“I’m not that pretty, Chase.”
“Devaney, you’re the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen.”
“Like I said before, big fish, little pond.”
“In that little pond, you used to like to kiss me. I’m thinking if we’re going to truly become friends again, it is going to be required.”
“Oh, really?” she says, but her hand moves from my abs, where it was resting, to the waistband of my swim trunks.
I reach out and push a stray piece of hair out of her face. Which causes her to shiver.
“You cold?”
“Uh, kinda,” she says, but she’s lying.
There’s no way she could be cold when I feel like I’m on fire.
Lights me up inside.
Devaney
The second the thought crosses my mind that I wish Chase would kiss me, he does.
I’ve done my fair share of making out—especially with him.
But I’ve never been kissed like this before.
His kiss is so soft, so tender, and so full of emotion that I almost want to cry.
Chase picks me up, and I wrap my legs around his waist, not wanting him to go anywhere. He takes a few steps backward and sits down, me in his lap.
He kisses me softly and then suddenly kisses me with more intensity than I ever knew existed.
This is definitely not the best-friend kiss.
It’s the kiss that lights me up inside.
That causes my heart to race.
My blood to rush.
It’s like when the gas is on for too long before you light the grill, and there’s practically an audible whoosh as it ignites.
His hands move under the towel I have wrapped around my shoulders and push it off. Suddenly, my wet bra is gone, too.
All I can do is respond to him.
It’s like my brain is on overload, and it can’t quite process the way Chase’s chest feels against mine after all this time. Or the way his lips blaze a trail of fire down my chest.
I resort to some kind of mimicking mode.
After he kisses my chest, I greedily run my lips down his. When he pulls me closer, I grip his waist tightly.
It’s then that he makes a noise that sounds like a growl. It’s a primal noise. One that turns me on.
And when he slides his hands into the back of my underwear and he lifts me up, stripping them off me and flinging them onto the deck, I push his board shorts off and move back on top of him.
I can feel his hardness against me.
And all I can think is, Please.
Please don’t tease me anymore.
Please get closer to me.
Please be my everything again.
“Please,” I say breathlessly. “Please.”
Then, all I can think is, Please, don’t stop.
Like, ever.
Eventually though, he collapses against me.
I kiss his neck. The neck that has always been my favorite scent. And I wrap my arms around him tightly.
He runs his hands through my hair and says, “Devaney,” which is the most beautiful thing I’ve heard in a very long time.
But at the same time, I’m also thinking, I can’t believe I just slept with Chase.
Again.
“This might be the best night of my life,” Chase says.
“Because of the sex?”
“Not just because of it,” he says with a chuckle, “although that was as incredible as ever. You gave me back your friendship. At least, I hope that’s what the pizza meant.”
“Is that what you want? For us to be friends?”
“If you are asking if I want to be just your friend, no. But more than that, I don’t want to lose you from my life again. You and I get each other. We always have. I love your brother, and there’s a lot I tell him, but I’ve never been as close to anyone as I am with you. Or as honest. When we stopped being friends, I sorta felt like you’d died, but then I still had to see you. And that was almost worse.”
“Like a constant reminder that you’d failed?” I ask him, totally understanding.
He leans back further, studying my face, his eyes narrowed in on me. “Is that how you feel?”
I nod.
“It’s in the past,” he says. “Let’s focus on the present.”
“Ohmigosh, Chase, speaking of presents. Happy birthday! I got you a present. I wish I had brought it with the pizza.”
“Oh shit,” he says, glancing at his sports watch. “It is my birthday. My parents are going to kill me.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s after midnight.”
“That’s why I’m home. Although I always used to spend the night, so I could help throw confetti and stuff on you. It was always so much fun! I remember your mom telling me that your dad, every year since they were little, would wake her up by throwing a whole bunch of stuff at her. Like candy, toys, confetti. And that’s how it became a family tradition.” But then I look at him in realization. “Oh, but you’re not there. You’re out here.”
“And I left my phone on the deck.”
“I don’t have mine either.”
“And I didn’t tell anyone we were leaving.”
“Shit. Are we going to be in trouble?”
“I don’t know, but we’d better get back,” he says.
As we come around the corner toward our cove, he says, “I was going to turn off the lights and motor and sneak in, but that would make it look like we were hiding something. So, I won’t. Okay?”
“Okay,” I tell him.
Although I wish we could have stayed in the boat forever, I know his family is not going to be happy that he’s not home. I consider going with him, but he says he’ll deal with it if they are still up. He walks me to my door and gives me another really good kiss.
The kind of kiss that I missed so desperately.
“Text me when you get in bed. I’m not ready to tell you good night just yet.”
And, yes, I swoon. “Okay,” I say happily, practically skipping through the front door.
“Where have you been, young lady?” my dad’s deep voice says sternly.
“Uh, out.”
“Just because you’re in college and you can do whatever you want there doesn’t mean when you come home, you don’t have to let us know where you are. We’ve been worried sick. Gosh, I hate when you make me sound like my mother,” he says, which causes Jennifer, who is sitting on the couch next to him, to chuckle.
She comes over and gives me a big hug. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah. I was just next door. I took pizza over after the game, and then Chase and I took the pontoon out. I’m sorry you were worried.”
“We’ve been calling your cell,” my dad says.
“I didn’t plan on being gone long.” I point toward the ceiling. “It’s up in my room. I just—” What the heck am I even supposed to say? I want to go up in my room, lie in my bed, and relive what it felt like to be back in Chase’s arms.
And text him.
“Did you two make up?” Jennifer asks, studying me closely.
I know my clothes are all wrinkled and wet, and I suppose my hair is a mess, and my lips are probably red from so much kissing, but I could look this way if I’d been out in the boat. Right?
I nod. “Kind of. Yeah.”
“Are you ever going to tell us what happened that summer?” my dad asks. “Why you stopped being best friends?”
I let out a controlled breath and seriously consider just spilling my guts. Instead, I ask him a question I already know the answer to. “Was it tricky when you and Phillip and Jadyn were growing up? Like when Jadyn would date other guys?”
My dad cocks his head, narrows his eyes, and nods. “It was for Phillip. And for me sometimes. Even though I didn’t like her the way Phillip did, we knew she could do better.”
“And by better, you meant Phillip?”
Dad sits down. “Are you saying that being friends with Chase got complicated because you were dating other people?”
“Yes, basically,” I admit, although it’s not exactly right.
“And that’s why things have been different?” Dad asks again.
“Yes.”
“We knew something had happened in the Ozarks, Dani,” Jennifer says. “I wouldn’t let your dad pry, but—”
“Chase and I got closer during that trip—romantically, I guess you could say. We actually decided to try dating each other. Chase wanted to talk to you about it first, Dad, sort of to get your approval, which is so ridiculously old-fashioned.”
“But is very Chase,” my dad states.
“Anyway, when we were on vacation, there was no—how can I put this? Outside pressure. No one telling me I shouldn’t date a younger guy. That kind of thing. And we thought it might work.”
“But then you went to school, and Hunter asked you to Homecoming,” Jennifer says astutely, and I realize her capacity for memorizing lines of scripts translates into real-life data.
“Exactly, and even though I never told Hunter yes, he grabbed me and kissed me, and understandably, Chase got upset.” I let out a sigh. “The whole thing was a mess.”
“Well, we knew the part about what Hunter had said to you and how he kissed you since your brother and Chase punched him and the coach got involved.”
“And things haven’t been the same since.”
“But tonight, you made up?” When Jennifer sees me blush in response, she seems to know exactly what kind of making up we did. She glances at my dad and then goes, “Like, you’ll be friends again?”
“Yeah, I think so,” I say.
“That’s good to hear, Devaney.” Dad gives me a hug and heads toward his room, saying, “I gotta get some sleep.”
“I’m sorry I kept you awake,” I tell Jennifer once he’s in their room.
“Do you want to talk about it?” she whispers. “I have a feeling there’s a lot more to the story.”
“There probably is. I just don’t know what it means yet.”
Supposed rebellion.
Chase
“Chase,” my mom says the second I come through the front door. “Well, if this were your last night on earth, at least we’d know that you’d camped in your room and had some pizza.”
“Not funny,” I say even though I laugh because it is.
She studies me the way moms do. “Did Dani come over with pizza tonight? After your game?”
“Yeah.”
“It’s been a while.”
“You knew?”
“That she used to sneak in with pizza after your games? Yes, Chase, we knew.”
“But—”
“You weren’t doing anything wrong. Although I’m sure it made you feel like you were being sneaky.”
“Hmm,” I say.
“You just wiped years of supposed rebellion from him, princess,” my dad says to my mom from the study.
I didn’t know he was up, too.
“Look, it’s your birthday. You should be able to do what you want on it but know we were all pretty disappointed you weren’t home at midnight for the confetti toss.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Just be ready to be woken up very early and be happy about it.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“You can go on up to bed now. And, Chase?”
“Yeah?”
“Happy birthday, sweetheart.”
“Thanks, Mom.”
She gives me a big hug. “I can’t believe my first baby is eighteen.”
Dad comes and joins us, giving me a hug, too. “Where were you?”
“Out on the pontoon boat with Dani,” I answer truthfully. No reason to lie about it. Not that I really have to lie to my parents about anything.
“You two make up?” he asks.
I let out a sigh. Is that what you call what we did, making up? Not sure. But either way, I answer honestly, “I sure hope so.”
Mad at you.
Devaney
The second I see his room light flick on, I call him.
“Ohmigosh, my dad totally freaked out. Were your parents pissed?” I say when he answers.
“They wish I had told them. But they saw the pizza boxes in my room and assumed I was with you. So, not too worried, just a little irritated when I wasn’t here at midnight.”
“How did they know you were with me?”
“Let’s just say, as kids, we weren’t quite as sneaky as we thought,” he says with a chuckle.
“Figures,” I say, laughing, too.
“Apparently, the throwing of things—the confetti toss—is set to commence first thing in the morning. Want to have a slumber party tonight? Like we used to? That way, you’re here for it then?”
“Um, I’d love to. I guess as long as I leave Dad and Jennifer a note, it would be okay.”
“I’m sure it will be. Damon and Haley and a few other people are crashed in the movie room. You can sleep in the tent. Or on the couch. Or in my bed, and we can set an alarm,” he offers, totally leaving it open.
I know exactly which one I will choose. “I’ll be right over,” I tell him.
“Don’t forget to leave the note.”
“I won’t.”
I hang up and then take a moment to look at myself in the mirror. I’m a hot mess. The ends of my hair are wet from the hot tub. Makeup is basically a disaster. Whatever.
I grab a washcloth, wash my face, and then put my hair in a French braid. I’ll be able to sleep on it, and my hair will look decent in the morning. I throw on a pair of dry underwear and some sweats and then a tie-dye tank, sans bra.
But before I leave, I pick up the bag of stuff I brought home with me for the confetti toss. I smile at the sack full of little foam footballs, red and black confetti, and gold chocolate coins. I figure they do a coin flip at the start of each game, so it all fits.
I leave the supplies on the dining room table and then go up to Chase’s room, finding him eating a cold breadstick.
“I didn’t want the night to end,” he tells me, pulling me into one arm while wagging the bread in front of my face.
I take a bite. “I didn’t either.”
Once he’s full of cold pizza and breadsticks, he lies on his bed and holds his arm out for me to snuggle up next to him.
Then he kisses me.
And I don’t know why, but I start crying. Not like sobbing or anything. It’s just that tears keep rolling down my face. And I can’t stop them.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, pulling his lips away from me and trying to wipe my tears away.
“Do you hate me, Chase?”
“I was mad at you, yes, but I could never hate you.”
“Don’t get mad at me now for saying this, but in spite of it all, I still love you. I never stopped, and that’s why it hurts so much. You’ve been my best friend my whole life, and I feel like a huge part of me is missing. And I know we probably shouldn’t have slept together, but—”
“Don’t regret it, Dani,” he says. “And just for the record, I feel the same way.”
“Promise you do?”
“I promise.”
I start sobbing with relief.
He kisses me and holds me tight, and at some point, right before I fall asleep, he murmurs in my ear, “Best birthday ever.”
